AN: Arctic by Sleeping at Last is on the side or up top. I HIGHLY recommend listening to it as you read. . .maybe again and again because this song is beautiful.
What has felt like minutes must have been hours. Time has been passing without me knowing due to this state I am in. This state of mind or spirit or whatever it is—it does not allow you tell time. The only way I have been doing so is by watching the previous events that have happened.
Ever since Pietro and Clint took my body to one of the carriers, they were always aware that my body was in safe hands. I was taken to a special place in S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters (given the approval from Fury in person) where my body could be taken care for. In other words—my body was cleaned up. Which meant Pietro and Clint stayed with me—well. . .my corpse.
I could watch all of this from where I stand. All I can do is stand around and watch. I am trapped as an invisible person whom no one can hear. I am isolated. I am alone.
Since I know I could be in a far radius away from my body, I stand alongside Clint and Pietro outside of the room my body is kept in. I sit and watch them struggle with their emotions, struggle with any type of conversation. Clint didn't want to leave Pietro alone, at least from I could tell. Pietro had been distant and quiet ever since he had to let me go. Now that was harder than witnessing the way Pietro was with my body.
His cries, his tears—his sadness in total was not is not be something I want to remember. That is why I had promised myself in this state, that I had to watch over him and stay with him.
While time allowed Pietro to grieve, Clint had to be the one to let everyone and anyone aware of my death to anyone that hadn't already known. Well, that was not much of a list as it only holds the Avengers and another—the one exception. Evelyn.
I stood by her, trying to physically touch her as she bursted into tears from the news. She was allowed to see me but it was over sooner then I knew it after a speech of how proud and sorry she was of what I did, who I am, and my unfortunate end. I wished I could hug her at that moment. It hurt the most when she tried to reach for my hand. There was something in her eyes that showed pain and grief and before she was about to touch my fingers, she refused.
Although, she did give a last gift before she left. Evelyn had brought a dress made from her own two hands just for me. It was a white sleeveless dress that reached down to my ankles. The fabric of my dress was rough at the touch, but os embroider with white lace flowers. She insisted that Pietro should have me wear it, though it didn't take much convincing since all I was wearing was a white sheet. Before I gotten sewed up by the MD, she discarded my clothes. There goes my suit.
Around the time she left, the rest of the team had came to meet Pietro and Clint at the area outside the room I was in. Well, I mean my body. It will take time to get used to saying that.
On the bright side, the war has ended. We won. That was what I tried to take more notice in rather the expressions of my teammates as they swallowed my fatality. Another shot in the chest.
They were silent for a while, but knowing there was not much to do but sulk, one of them suggested to let themselves clean up. As I had. Steve was unsure to leave at first, but must have realized as the Cap himself, he had to be strong for the team. But Pietro was not easy to convince to leave. At least Wanda was there to help him find the approval that could let him leave me.
Although, one other person who didn't motion to leave was the red man. It. I'm pretty sure he has a name by now, but I don't know it. For some strange reason, it feels like it's on the tip of my tongue. But the longer I watched It stare at the door where my body was kept, instead of walking away with the rest of the team, he started heading towards the door. Currently, I'm standing by the end of the hall, watching him follow a path that leads him to the door with no hesitation, but with curiosity. Once he walked past me, he comes closer to the door. What catches me off guard was when it looked like he was going to hit the door, he ends up walking right through it.
No one seems to notice that he departed from the group until Wanda looks back with worry and asks, "Vis?" That's his name? She had looked back just a second before Vision had went completely through the door. She reaches out for Pietro's wounded arm and he too looks back at the door. "Vision?"
All of a sudden, I find myself back inside the examination room. Almost as if I was pulled inside from the hallway. Something that wasn't in my control teleported me into the room. I turn around to see It—I mean Vision—standing beside me, my body, looking at my face. I walk around to be able to see his expression. It's hard to read what he must be thinking about this. Seeing me, my dead body. I wonder about that. Then, I take notice as to why I want to think about his actions at all.
Suddenly, my eyes are blinded by a flash of gold light. I cover my eyes trying to see where it was coming from. I circle the room to stand out of the light, but the light dims only a moment later. I find myself standing in front of door as I manage to get better angle of the light but seeing it, I follow it finding Vision standing to my right. He continues to stare at me with curiosity that I couldn't even tell if he was blinking. Yet it seems we are both curious about what caused the unexpected bright glow of light.
My eyes slowly looked up at the yellow gem on Vision's forehead. I notice that the light grows more intense with each step Vision takes, each step getting closer to me. Once he's standing at the head of my body, he lifts his hand, shaping it as a cup. He keeps his hand above my right cheek, frozen in that one spot—unsure of what to do next, but his face seems like he knows what to do.
The moment his fingertips were at the slightest to touching my porcelain skin, the doors flow wide open, slamming against the wall like a canon had gone off. Pietro marches inside the room with Wanda and the rest of the team behind them. Vision doesn't bother to look up at the others, already placing his focus on me while his hand hasn't moved an inch.
Pietro stands by, keeping his face stiff, but I can tell he wants to do something from how tense he becomes. I look down, catching his hands balling into fists. He seems angry, yet curious at what Vision is going to do. After he takes one more step, the golden yellow light from that gem on Vision's head glows throughout the room, blinding us all.
Everyone either lifted a hand to cover their eyes or turn away from the golden beam of light. It only lasts for a few seconds, but that was enough time for Pietro to determine what Vision is doing could do something to me. To my body. Vision still hasn't moved his hand as he was not affected by the light, as if he didn't see it. In fact, it seems this motivated him to move his hand closer.
"Don't touch her!" Pietro yells at him, shifting his body to look like he was going to burst into a run. Only, the second he did so, Vision had already made contact with his hand on my cheek. About a second after that, another wide beam of golden light shoots out from under Vision's palm and slices through the whole room. Everyone had been hit by the light, and are pushed back on impact. The scary part about this, was that instead of the light going through me, it even pushed me against the wall.
My back slams against the wall first, my head second. My legs and forearms help break my landing. Then, what is even more weird is that unlike the rest of the team who seem hurt, I feel adrenaline. I look up and see Pietro's body curled against a wall. Instinctively, I get back on my feet and rush over to him, crouching in front of him.
Wanda does the same thing I'm thinking, helping him sit up. She gently presses her hand against the part of his head that must have hit the wall. "Vision, what did you do?" Wanda asks, shooting a look up at him.
"I did not do anything." Vision states, moving his hands away from my cheek. He turns to Wanda and the team, finally acknowledging their presence.
"Then what did?" Tony asks, groaning as he stretches his shoulders by rotating them counterclockwise.
The moment Pietro is back on his feet, he appears beside my body, touching my cheek at the same spot Vision's hand made contact. My face is normal, expect for the same pale skin.
"The Mind Stone." Thor mentions, saying it as more of a question. He stands in a different corner of the room as the rest of the team remain by the door.
Vision glances down at me, "In all of my calculations, it is impossible to resurrect any living form." He says, "It is inconceivable."
In the right moment, Natasha asks, "What does that mean?" Curiosity was echoing from her voice and her body language as she places her hands on her hips.
"The Mind Stone. . .had a reaction to Andi who is—" Vision stops himself, seeing that Pietro is slumped against a wall, unable to take his eyes off of me. Then he continues, "departed." I'm thankful that Vision took notice in Pietro. "It brought me here. It caused a blast of energy which hit all of you. Even if the option is inconceivable. . .the Stone provided me an exception."
"An exception?" Bruce asks, sliding his hands in his pockets.
"How about we just let the red guy explain the whole story?" Tony says, teasing Natasha and Bruce. Bruce shoots a glare at Tony, while Natasha rolls her eyes.
"Well, the Mind Stone. . .it told me that Andi is not dead," Vision says straightforward.
"What?" Everyone asks in union. Even I had the asked the same thing to myself. I turn to Pietro to see his reaction, but all that changed were his eyes. They seemed so stunned by this news, that Vision is basically claiming that I am not dead. Thinking about that for myself even scares me for a bit, but I know this is good news. That not being dead obviously leads to the option of coming back to life. Not being trapped in this state.
What is this state then? This is not some afterlife. This may not be torture at all. If I'm not dead, that must be the reason why I can be here. Although, my body proves to be. This is actually interesting me more than freaking me out. That is saying something since this is all about me.
"How is it possible for her to be alive?" Wanda asks, her voice telling me she is as confused as me, looking to Vision for more of an explanation. There is a plea in her eyes, wanting this to be true
Pietro straightens his posture, raises an arm to point at me as a gesture. "She doesn't have a pulse." Pietro adds. "Not a heartbeat. She's not breathing!" I could tell he is confused, wondering if this news is something that should give him hope, or after what he went through, it should drive him insane. I wouldn't blame him. I don't. I wouldn't know the first thing to think if the tables were turned.
"Neither time or space affects where she is. It is somewhere deep in her mind. She is she out there somewhere. Trapped. Isolated," Vision explains. "The Mind Stone lead her there. It found her and knows her soul is departed from her body."
Trapped. . .that's one word to describe it. But my soul? This is the Mind Stone? Not the "Soul Stone".
"Does this mean you can save her?" Steve asks, folding his arms against his chest. Natasha stands beside Steve and Clint. And as she looked up at Steve, I knew I wasn't the only one who heard the way he spoke. The worry hidden behind a solid facial expression, but not illegible.
"Perhaps. . ." Vision trails off, surprisingly nervous to finish that.
"What do you mean perhaps?" Clint asks, too concerned for that type of answer.
"He means he doesn't know how." Tony answers, folding his arms across his chest as he leans against a wall. I roll my eyes at Tony being his typical, obnoxious self. "Guess I'm gonna need to add an update."
After that, my attention turns to someone else. "So you can figure out how to save her?" he asks, almost desperate for answers. It's been a while since Pietro said anything.
"Yes," Vision answers, "but the Mind Stone only gave me part of an explanation."
"So what do you need to do to get the complete explanation?" Steve asks.
Vision looks to Wanda as he says, "I need to make contact with her again."
"Okay." "No!" The twins say in unison.
Wanda nods at Vision, sticking to her decision as she seems to trust Vision. Though for Pietro, he was the one who snapped at him. "He could harm her, Wanda."
Wanda lifts her hands to his. "He could save her," she reassured him, trying to get her brother to understand what is best for me. As for me, I guess I'm up for this if it means coming back to life.
As if Vision heard my thoughts, he lifts his hands above my forehead. "She will not be harmed, I promise."
"Well that's comforting," Natasha says under her breath.
Pietro swallows the lump in his throat. "Fine." He agrees, roughly, dropping his shoulders as a part of him continues to worry for the outcome.
With that, Vision drops his hands on my forehead. His fingers curl at the crown on my head, yellow light appearing beneath them. I looked up at Vision, seeing the stone glow brighter and brighter until the light becomes unbearable and I need to cover my eyes. Everyone else in the room does as well. Pietro, clutching Wanda in his arms like she's the only thing keeping him from falling apart stands behind Vision so the light cannot affect them as much.
It was only a few minutes until the light dims out. Vision takes his hands off my head and steps back. For a moment, everyone in the room were silent. All I could hear are our breaths. I look to Vision, seeing the way he reacts to this. Something told me that he found the answers he was looking for. Though, the way he looks doesn't assure me.
"She's connected." Vision murmurs under his breath.
"What happened, Vision?" Wanda asked, holding out a hand to his shoulder, "What did you see?"
"She's connected to the Mind Stone."
"What about the Mind Stone?" Natasha asks, unsure she heard him right. "How does that help bring back Andi?"
"This Mind Stone is similar to the tesseract." Vision explains, pointing to the gem on his head. "You may be familiar with it. Though, the Mind Stone was on the staff that belonged to the brother of Thor."
"You mean Loki's scepter?" Steve asks.
"The one that gave us powers?" Wanda asks, reminded when she hears the scepter being mentioned. She shares a look with Pietro, then their eyes fall on me. "Does that mean we're connected, too?"
"That same thing that turned me into his puppet." Clint adds, his attention on the Mind Stone.
The tension in the room continues to build up. Even I could feel it flow through me. Vision even noticed it too, but all he said was, "Yes."
"You're saying the Mine Stone—the same thing that gave them," Bruce pauses to point at the twins and myself, "powers is connected to Andi." I think Bruce was trying to figure this out scientifically. In a way, he was trying to think this through for it to be possible to bring me back to life. But according to Vision (or the Mind Stone) I'm not dead.
"Then it can save her." Pietro adds, looking to Wanda. They exchange a look, telling one other that they have hope. They have faith that I can come back to life.
"No, not save her," Vision says, hesitant, trying to find a better way to explain his thoughts, "more as if I were pulling her out of a coma."
Pietro takes a few steps beside me, touching my hand as he says, "Instead of keeping her like this."
"When the Mind Stone was attached to Loki's scepter, like Pietro and Wanda. It gave Andi her powers. It mutated her DNA, enhanced it which enables her to teleport or use telekinesis." Vision sates, explaining it word-by-word. "Its power run inside her. That state she is in is because of her powers. But of her connection with the Mind Stone, the very thing that gave her power is what can pull her out of it. That is why the Mind Stone is saving her at this very moment."
Now I know where I am. What this is. This isn't heaven, hell, nor purgatory. My powers created this, caused me to be here. I'm angry at myself for a moment but turn grateful quickly enough to realize if I wasn't given this safety net, I would know what death would really have been like.
"Do what it takes." Pietro says, without hesitation. My head whips to Pietro, seeing the familiar look in his eyes. Those blue orbs I desire to see in person. So at the same time, he can look into mine.
"Wait!" Tony shouts, holding out his arms to make everyone stop what they're doing. "Who are we to decide that the Mind Stone is to be used to save the undead?" I got to admit, he actually has a point. Although, since this is me he's talking about. "Doesn't she have a next of kin to decide this?"
"Stark, this is not the time to put this up for discussion." Steve says, shooting a glare at him.
"She only has us," Wanda says, answering Tony's question. The way Wanda stands up against Tony made me want to high-five her. I want to be able to laugh and smile with her again. I want to be able to do the things we used to do again. But then, as voice in my head, tells me that some things can never be the same after this.
Without saying anything else, Vision rubs his hands together, preparing for what he needs to do. Preparing for what will happen. As I prepare for what will come next, I walk around to stand in front of Pietro. My hands find his and all I think about at that very moment, is how I want to feel his hands. I want him to look into my eyes instead of the floor. I hope this will work. I want to be out of this trance or state or nightmare for that matter, and be able to talk to everyone in this room again. To physically be with everyone in this room.
As Vision places his hands over my head, he closes his eyes, his concentration completely on this. I can tell as the Stone started to glow. Immediately, the light became so bright, it was as if someone invited the sun to come in. Once the Mind Stone is at its brightest, it actually dims throughout the room, the light containing to Vision's head. While the light starts to dim, my body begins to lift above the table. My body floats a few inches in the air that even my dress drips under my legs.
A blast of the stone's power blasts at my body, yet, instead of hitting my body, it stopped at a few inches above me. The yellow blast from the mind stone had started to spread throughout the top of my body. It creates a cradle with my body inside.
With every second that the Stone creates this cradle, I start to feel a spark of energy inside of me. A warmth filling the hollow feeling inside my chest that surprisingly makes me want to burst into a dance or run a mile or two. A source of something light like air, but thrilling to call adrenaline mixes up the way this feeling feels inside me.
It only takes a few seconds for my surroundings to begin to fade. I rub my eyes open just in case I wasn't hallucinating, but everyone started to disappear in a blue mist one-by-one, until it went in right front of me. I could not see beyond this strange, yet harmless thick blue fog. I turn around, trying to escape from it. Unfortunately, I was face to face with darkness. Feared for the unknown, I turn back, hoping I could still see what was happening with my team, with my body.
Soon enough, the fog was beginning to clear up, turning into a lighter blue. It was pushed back until the center was turning into a spot of white, then quickly, the precious color had spread throughout the fog until there was no blue left. At first I was scared, but then it was a golden aspect to it that made it light up. It made me feel peaceful as if it reminded me of snow.
Although, in the corner of my eye, I saw a yellow light, almost the shade of mustard. But as I turn my head to that direction, I thought I was going to see the darkness again—thinking my eyes were deceiving me. But there, in front of me, laid a wall of yellow and behind me was a wall of white. At my sides, those lights caved me in from any spot of darkness until it pushed its way underneath my feet from where I stood.
In the yellow light, what caught my eye was what formed in its center. My team. My friends.
Me.
It was just like before, moments after I died. I was put into a crossroads like this. Two lights that had appeared to me with a choice. I glance back at the white light, only thinking for a little what choice it was presenting. I took a deep breath, turning back to my choice, to what fate it was offering me.
I am not afraid anymore.
Now knowing the truth, I am ready to what might be expected in my return. Reaching for the yellow light, I do not hesitate—knowing exactly what I have to do. As I start to walk to the yellow light, the mist engulfs me slowly and with grace. And as I walk straight into the light, I know that I am home.