"Poppy?" Macy asked me as I was finishing my lunch the day after.
"Hmm?" Still feeling down and unwilling to get any type of attention, I'd made sure to keep to myself and was yet so utter an entire sentence today.
I'd been surprised when Christine McPherson and Jessica Moonson, the two girls who'd attacked me, had come to Mr. Sullivan's class with a microphone linked to the school's sound system, to apologize for attacking me. They'd then gone on to promise it would never happen again and blah blah blah...
"Did you really see your best friend jump from that tree?" The silence that ensued was deafening and after dropping my fork, I had to swallow the big lump that had formed in my throat at her question.
"What the hell, Macy?!" Keira cried out, looking positively outraged.
"Hmm... Yes, I did..." I finally answered once I was sure I wouldn't throw up on the spot if I opened my mouth. "But at the time I thought it was an accident..." I added.
"What do you mean?" I could tell she was genuinely curious.
"I thought he'd like fainted or something and then fallen down..." I muttered.
"My uncle hung himself last weekend..." was her answer and it was clearly news to everyone around the table. "I don't understand why he did it..." The normally self-assured red-headed girl sounded like the shadow of herself.
As nobody seemed to know what to say I cleared my throat, willing my meagre lunch to remain in my stomach.
"Hmm... Did he... Did he leave a note or something?" I said the first thing that came to my mind. She clearly needed to get it out of her chest. She would never have opened up that way otherwise.
"Yeah... He told my aunt that he'd had an affair with a woman from work and that even though he'd ended things with her months before, guilt was eating at him a bit more every day..." She sniffled. "Their youngest kid is only four..." Her sadness was painful to watch.
"I'm not sure I'm the right person to discuss that because I've only recently learnt that Cam had taken his life and right now all I'm feeling is angry..." I admitted embarrassedly.
"Oh, so it's normal!" She cried out with tears in her eyes.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"That anger that I have inside me whenever I think about him." She replied. "Not only for cheating on my aunt but for choosing the coward way out..."
"Some would argue that it takes some courage to knot a piece of rope around your throat and to kick the chair you're standing on, but I kind of agree with you on that one, unless someone tells me one day that Cam suffered from some rare medical condition, a deficient gene maybe, I don't know, anything to explain why he did what he did, I think I'll always be angry at him..."
"Thank you, Poppy." She said and I turned to look her way when I realized where I was. For a second, I'd just let my heart speak, totally forgetting the Royal Court around me. "Thank you so much for that..." She added, her voice breaking slightly at the end, and she stood up. "I-I'm just going to the restroom..." She muttered before hurrying away. Lana immediately went after her best friend.
"How old are you again, Martins?" Landon asked.
"Sixteen..." I said.
"Almost seventeen..." Tyler argued, and I guessed he was right since in less than two months I'd be seventeen.
"That's why you'll have to forgive me when I punch your boy..." He pointed at Tyler. "Or take your side whenever some dumbass decides to target you..."
He wasn't making any sense but I nodded anyway to please him.
Thankfully the bell rang saving me from any more of his awkward comments.
"I think he was trying to say that you're awesome." Keira whispered to me before sauntering away from us.
"I think she may be right..." Landon whispered in my other ear a few seconds later.
"The two of you make the perfect couple..." I teased him suspecting my gut feeling was right. "How long have you been together?"
"How do you... Shit! You can't tell anyone, Poppy, I'm serious..." He was suddenly very pale. His panic didn't make sense, the two of them were best friends and had apparently been so since kindergarten. Plus, they were both legacy, so why would they hide?
In any case, I respected Landon too much to leave him in this state of panic. I put my own worries aside and bumped my shoulder into his playfully.
"Chill Grassi, I won't tell, ok?" I then murmured, thinking it'd be enough to reassure him.
"I-I'm serious, Poppy..." Wow, this must be big for him to lose it that way.
"Landon..." I put my hands on his shoulders and then on either of his cheeks so he'd look at me. "I won't tell anyone..."
"I'll give you anything..." His pleading tone broke my heart so I tapped his cheeks lightly.
"Grassi, snap out of it, it's me, Poppy... I won't tell anyone, ok?" I tried again.
Tyler wrapped one arm loosely around his shoulders.
"You can trust her, Land..." He muttered in his friend's ear.
"Yeah, Ty, you're right, I can trust Poppy..." He repeated, still struggling to recover from his panic attack. "I can trust you, right?" He said a few seconds later and when a tear rolled down his cheek, I hid it with my hand and pretended he had something in his eye.
"Is there somewhere more private where we could go until he's back to his old self?" I asked Tyler who nodded and headed to a fire exit that led to a small courtyard shaded by trees.
"Miss Martins, Mr. Grassi and Mr. Van Houten," The Principal called out from the entrance of the lunch room. "Why aren't you in class?!"
I motioned for Tyler to go on and went to talk to the intimidating man.
"Landon's upset, Sir..." I started. "A friend of ours asked me about my best-friend's suicide and I was the first surprised when I ended up telling them what happened in great details. It was the first time I talked about it and I guess I got so lost in my account that I didn't realize they might be shocked..." I went on, hoping that he'd buy my lie. "I think it brought back memories..." I then muttered and the flicker of understanding that flashed in his eyes told me that I'd convinced him.
"I'll let your teachers know that you'll be late..." He said softly and turned to leave.
"Thanks, Sir..." I replied before running to the fire exit through which Landon and Tyler had disappeared.
"She told you she wouldn't tell anyone, Land..." Tyler was telling his friend when I got to the shaded bench where they were seated.
"Yes, but what if she's in a bad mood one day and spills the beans or what if she just slips, even?!" He argued.
"What if Tyler's in a bad mood one day and spills the beans or slips?" I countered.
"He wouldn't." Landon's certainty showed me just how deep their friendship ran and I couldn't help but smile at that.
"Why are you smiling?!" Landon cried out and I rolled my eyes teasingly, hoping it would help him calm down.
"I was admiring your friendship if you really want to know..." I answered with a smile. "Landon, what do I need to do for you to believe me when I say that I won't tell anyone?" Even though Mr. Vincent had bought my lie, I knew we needed to make it to class before the end of the period.
"You can't do anything..."He exclaimed.
"Can I hug you?" I asked shyly.
"Hmm... I don't know..." He hesitated.
"Just stand up already." I told him and was relieved when he did.
I wasn't really used to hugging people my age, especially when they were taller and bigger than me but I circled my arms around his shoulders and pulled him to me. He rested his head in the crook of my neck and let me hug him.
"I promise I'll never mention what I discovered by mistake to anyone, not even Nate... Even if somebody hints at it, I'll deny it... I swear it to you, Landon..." I whispered all this in his dark hair which smelt like expensive gel.
"Ok..." He mumbled and tightened his hold on me as if to enjoy every last second of my hug.
"Ok?" I asked to make sure he wasn't about to go another round.
"Yeah... Sorry..." He muttered and freed himself from my arms with his head down.
"Don't you start being embarrassed on my behalf..." I hurried to say.
"It's just that I'm not used to..." He started but I cut him off.
"Not used to what, Grassi?! To being human and having bad days like all of us common people? Please!" I snapped.
"There's nothing common about you, Poppy..." He argued and I rolled my eyes again.
"Whatever, Landon, you've seen my freaking mom slap me twice after telling me just how much I'd ruined her life, you've seen how my first and only kiss with a boy I trusted with my life had been staged as some sick revenge plan, you've held me at the cemetery when said boy revealed that the second boy I trusted with my own life had in fact taken his own life and tried to take mine along... So your small panic attack..." That's when I realized that Tyler had pulled me to him so that my back was resting against his chest. It took me a few seconds to catch my breath and calm down.
"Mr. Vincent may have bought my lie about how my unexpected account of Cam's suicide brought back some memories but our teachers are expecting us to show up before the end of the period..." I said blankly, hoping the boys would take the hint and agree on the subject change.
"We'll walk you to the gym..." Tyler said with his arms still wrapped around my waist. "Let's go..." He took my hand and led me back inside while Landon followed us in silence.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
We all had practice that afternoon. Keira was waiting for me at my locker and I was half expecting her to mention what had happened with Landon but she was her usual cheerful self.
"How was your afternoon?" She asked while I emptied my messenger bag, keeping only the history textbook I'd need to revise for the big test we had the day after.
"We played basketball again... And Study Hall was event-free..." I answered. "You?"
"Same old..." She brushed my question off. "Have you spoken to Owen, yet?" Her hazel eyes were burning holes in mine as she tried to read my thoughts.
"No... I... I... I can't, Keira..." I finally managed to say.
She sighed sadly and nodded.
"I know... I'm only asking because I can see how miserable he is and I hate seeing people I love suffer..." She explained. "But what he did was..." She scrunched up her nose. "I'm actually amazed you didn't decide to ditch the three brothers altogether after hearing everything." She paused. "Heck! Had I been in your shoes, I think I'd have ditched the entire Van Houtens!"
It was my turn to let out a huge sigh.
"Nate gets on with Leo so well..." I started. "And Tyler..." I added barely above a whisper.
"I've never seen him so... So carefree..." She said. "The two of you are really cute together..."
I smiled, remembering I'd thought the same thing about her and Landon.
"Afternoon Coach!" She chirped snapping me out of my reverie.
The forty-something blond-haired man nodded before adjusting his cap so we walked past him and into the Girls lockers.
When I bumped into Landon on my way out, I understood that the two soccer teams practiced at the same time.
We all started running on the running track around the main pitch. We stopped after half an hour but the boys continued. After several minutes of stretching, Coach had us run up and down the bleachers for what seemed like forever but was actually peanuts compared to the killing planking and abs session that followed and during which no less than four girls threw up.
When he told us that it was all for today, I thought he meant that we'd finally get to kick a ball so imagine my disappointment when my new teammates started stretching in silence.
"You did good." Keira told me after offering me her hand to help me stand up.
"Thanks..." I muttered.
"What's with the long face?" She asked with a frown.
"How come we haven't played at all today?" I asked with a small pout that made her laugh.
"Girl, the first month or so of practice is exclusively conditioning..." My eyes grew wide, which made her laugh harder.
"What's so funny?" Landon appeared in front of us.
"Poppy's face when I told her that she wouldn't actually touch a ball for a month at least..."
"Well, I'm pretty sure Ty can arrange something for you, Poppy..." He interjected wiggling his eyebrows.
I lifted mine and narrowed my eyes in what I hoped looked like the more deathly glare in the entire history of glares but guessed I hadn't been that scary when they both burst out laughing. I stuck out my tongue at them and entered the lockers.
They were still standing outside the lockers when I came out half an hour later.
I frowned when I realized that they'd showered too.
"Did I take too long?" I asked sheepishly.
"Keira came out a couple of minutes before you, don't sweat it..." Landon said and wrapped an arm around my shoulders while Keira linked her arm through mine and the three of us headed to the car park.
"Poppy!" Leo exclaimed when he noticed us and started running in our direction. He literally jumped into my arms and hugged me for dear life.
"What's up, Lee?" I murmured in his hair.
"I've missed you..." He murmured back tightening his hold on me. "I know what Owen did was sick and everything with your grandma must have put you off but there's still Tyler and I to consider, hey?" He was rambling.
"What are you talking about?" I pulled away from him slightly to be able to see his eyes. My heart almost broke when I saw the tears pooling in them.
"I think he's scared that after everything you decide to run away with Nate..." Landon intervened, squeezing my shoulder gently.
"Lucky for you I'm not a runner, then..." I replied looking at Leo straight in the eye. That was enough reassurance for the light brown haired boy, apparently, since he resumed his bear hug a second later.
"Thanks, Poppy." He whispered against my chest so I kissed the top of his wavy hair.
"Let's go, Leo." Landon put an end to our hug. "Everybody must be starving and Magda's promised us to cook her lasagna tonight..."
"Cool!" Leo exclaimed excitedly.
"Are you having dinner with us?" I asked Keira when it occurred to me that it would be a good way for them to disappear together and have some alone time.
"Are you inviting me?" She asked, sounding almost shy.
"Consider yourself invited every day..." I interjected with a small smile. "Of course we can't paint our nails or try out new make-up since I don't think Tyler would appreciate that too much, but we can hang at the pool, watch movies..."
When the two of them kissed me on opposite cheeks at the same time, I knew I'd done the right thing.
Nathan studied my face carefully when we finally reached him and the three VH bros. I opened my arms slightly and he immediately crashed his tall body against mine.
"How was your day?" I muttered, as he started trembling slightly in my arms. Not so good, then, I thought doing my best not to cry on the spot as everything suddenly resurfaced.
"Magda's cooked her famous lasagna so that's what we're having for dinner tonight..." I felt bad for always using food as a way to cheer him up but I had no answer to everything else.
"Cool..." He croaked.
"Hey guys..." Tyler's proximity made me feel slightly better. "Owen's going to drive your car so you can come with me..." I nodded gratefully and handed him the keys before leading Nate to Owen's Porsche Cayenne.
"Sit at the back with him." He whispered before placing a soft kiss on my lips.
As soon as we were safely hidden at the back of Owen's car, Nate broke down again. I didn't know what to do except holding him as tightly as I could and making sure my own tears stayed put for this time.
"We need to eat." I announced when we reached the chalet. He seemed to get my message because he gave me a nod.
I dried his tears softly but there was no hiding his red and puffy eyes. I took his hand in mine tightly and followed Tyler up the stairs.
Magda was waiting for us when we got there. Her face fell when she saw Nate and I. I guessed we didn't look very happy.
She groaned and mumbled something under her breath before ordering us all to sit down, which we did contently after our gruesome practices, and she began to serve us heaps of food.
Leo and Nathan had apparently lots of homework for the day after so they left the table as soon as they were done to go to Leo's room. Keira and I started cleaning the table but Magda tutted us and motioned for us to get on with our evening activities.
I told her I had to revise for my history test and she asked me whether she could do her own homework too. In the end, Owen, Tyler and Landon joined us and we studied for a couple of hours, before, feeling exhausted, I decided to call it a night.
"Poppy?" I stiffened but turned around to face him. "Can I talk to you?" I had to close my eyes when I saw the magnitude of his pain and guilt washed over me.
"Not tonight, O..." Tyler answered for me and I'd never been as grateful as I was right then. Owen nodded sadly and went to his room.
"I'm... I'm just going to check on him, ok?" Tyler said after pushing some hair away from my face. I nodded and he kissed me softly. "I won't be long."
I must have fallen asleep before he came back because the next thing I knew I was jostled out of my sleep when someone knocked on the door and proceeded to open it. Behind me, Tyler barely moved. I blinked several times and rubbed the sleep from my eyes and gasped when I saw Nate standing at the door. I didn't think twice and lifted the duvet to show him that he could come. He closed the door and crossed the room before lying down next to me in Tyler's bed.
As soon as his face reached the crook of my neck, he broke down again and this time there was no stopping my own tears.
Tyler, who must have woken up and understood what was going on, tightened his hold on me and kissed the back of my head to let me know that he was there for the two of us.
As the hours passed and Nate kept on crying, I realized that what I was giving him wasn't enough and that I'd soon have to find a solution before something bad happened.
"Nate..." I murmured in the dark.
"Hmm?"
"I know I'm not doing a good job with you right now but I promise I'm going to find you some real help..."
Both Tyler and my brother stiffened at my words.
"Wh-what do you mean, y-you're not doing a g-good job?" He stuttered between two hiccups.
"I mean that for the first time ever, I don't know how to move on..." I admitted and more tears escaped my eyes.
I was suddenly held so tightly by my two favorite boys that I had trouble breathing.
"Y-you're already being the best sister ever..." He muttered before kissing my cheek.
"Only time will heal all your wounds guys..." Tyler said behind me. "And when the most painful ones will finally disappear and you think you're finally free, others will be inflicted..." He added making me grimace. "That's the way life works, unfortunately, and some people like the two of you..." Or you, I thought. "... will have to face ten times as much as what most of our classmates will for no apparent reason, which will certainly anger you so much at times that you'll feel like punching them all in the face..." He paused. "But you will feel better..." He promised. "And I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy..."
I shivered at his words.
"Thanks Tyler..." My brother said, sounding appeased, and had he not been right there, I'd have turned around and kissed the hell out of this awesome boy who thought I was worthy enough to be his girlfriend, so instead I took his hand and squeezed it.
He immediately lifted it to his mouth to kiss it several times, making me smile in spite of how messed up things were.