"Mom... I don't like this house." The ten-year old wailed.
"Jenna, we've discussed this.. Now go help your sisters get the bags from the car now." Her mother said sternly.
"Whatever." Jenna scoffed as she rounded the silver vehicle to help her older sister and younger sister with the luggage.
"Jenna, you need to stop over reacting, mommy is doing the best that she can. Stop giving her a hard time." Anna, the eight year old scolded Jenna. Jenna glared at her, just to have a hand cover her eyes.
"Jenna, what did I say about looking at her like that. It hurts her feelings, now quit it." Shaley, the seventeen year old scolded Jenna.
Jenna swatted her hand away and grabbed a bag, and without another word she ran up the porch steps an into their new Nevada home.
"Anna, ignore her okay. She's just mad because she had to leave her friends. Are you alright..?" Shay squatted down to her sisters level. Anna nodded with tears in her eyes. Shay kissed her sisters forehead before grabbing a few brags and lugging them inside.
"Shay can you come in here for a moment please?" Shay heard her mother yell. She followed her mothers soft voice until she stumbled upon the kitchen.
"Yes?"
"I know you didn't feel like moving, and I know your heart broken about leaving your friends and boyfriend behind. And I know that Jenna isn't making this any easier on you, but can you please try as talk to her. Maybe calm her down.?" Shah nodded at her mothers request and set out to find her ten year old sister.
"Jenna?" Shay knocked on a bedroom from upstairs. She heard sobbing, so she decided to just go in uninvited.
"Go away!" Jenna shouted from beneath her coat.
"Jenna..." Shaley sat down onto the bed, rubbing her sister back.
"I know you're angry, and you feel neglected of your opinions. But frankly, you need to grow up and understand. I did. You know I'm not happy about the move either. I left a relationship of four years. I left friendships, and I'm not saying that you didn't drop everything, because that's not what I'm saying at all." Shay smiled at the ten year old, who uncovered her face and sat up.
Shay brushed the hair from Jenna's face, behind her ear.
"Just please, understand that this move was for the best.. Soon school will be starting and you'll make tons of friends." Shay reassured Jenna.
"Shay, I understand the move, I do. But, I just... It doesn't feel right living in this house. I want the old house. The one that is full with memories. Memories from when you and Shane were little and me, and even Anna....Memories full of dad." Jenna's voice croaked on the the mention of their late father.
"Shh, it's okay. It's okay to miss dad. I do. I mean, it's harder on me." Shay sighed.
"I know that. But you have to stop blaming yourself Shaley! It's not fair to you, and dad wouldn't want it." Jenna piped in as Shay let a year fall.
Shay kissed her sister cheek after Jenna wiped that stray year from Shay's face.
"You know, you're right. Now get some sleep. It's getting dark, and Shane will be here tomorrow." The two girl hugged and Shaley exited Jenna bedroom in hunt for her own.
----
"Dad! You're being very unreasonable!" Shay shouted at her father as he picked her up from school.
"Shaley, I'm sorry. But no. You will get your own car when you get good school grades." Shawn, the thirty-nine-year-old father of four, said sternly. Shay sighed.
"Mom would let me!" Shay tried to reason with her father.
"Shaley... I said no." Her father stopped at a stop light as shay began to cry.
"I'm the only junior without a car. I have my license. Dad, please." She begged.
"No." He turned his signal light on, as the light flashed green, signaling for his lands to go. When he pulled out a truck didn't stop.
"Daddy! Watch out!" Shay screamed. The truck smashed on his side, as another car ended up smashing in on Shay's side. The car flipped and flipped. Shay held her dad's hand for dear life,
It was two minutes of flipping, just flipping, until the car stopped on it's roof.
Shay blinked as her vision became blurry.
Her seat belt had cut into her neck, her arm was stuck in between the console and the side of her seat, her head had banged against the dash right when the air bag came out an busted her nose.
She glanced over at her dad to see his head laying on the deflated air bag. Blood coming from his ears and nose. She started sobbing as she cried out, 'Daddy, in so sorry.'
She could faintly hear sirens as soon she blacked-out.
----
Shay jumped up from the bed, dripping sweat. Dried tears were in her face as she felt disgusted with her self.
"I need a shower." She mumbled as she fumbled into her own personal bathroom.
It has been about ten months since the accident, and Shay has the same nightmare every night. She hasn't had a good sleep in so long.
She stripped her clothes and stepped into running shower. The water was cold, but she didn't mind. That's how she liked it. It numbed her body.
Soon after she showered, she dressed in freshly new clothes and changed her bed sheets.
But it doesn't matter. If she were to fall asleep, she'd still relive that nightmare, and wake up in sweat once again.
Lying down on the bed, she sighed as she pulled the covers over top of her.
And soon she was back dreaming. But not of fluffy clouds, and rainbows; Nope, instead, she dreams of her fathers death.
----
Waking up to the sun in your face, isn't such a pleasant thin to see when you first open your eyes, but shay would rather have that than having three people jumpe atop of her.
But in a way she was thankful. She hated sleeping, due to the fact that she had to see her father in eery one of them. It would be fine if the dream was of some nice an fun memory, that she had if her father. But, unfortunately for her, it was of the day her father died.
September 30th, 2012. Her father died, exactly ten months ago. Today is July 30th, 2013.
"Wake up!" Three voices chanted. Shay sat up, as her eyes widened.
"Shane!" Shah screamed at her older brother as he tackled her into a hug.
Shane Ross. The nineteen year old college boy.
"Hey Shaley. Miss me?"
"Of course. It's been three months. I'm so glad that mom decided to move closer to you, if anywhere." Shaley said, utterly happy. If she had to move anywhere against her own will it would be somewhere closer to her older brother. They were the best of friends.
"Me too." He sighed as he stood up.
"Let's go eat." Jenna and Anna chirped. Jenna took Anna's hand and rugged her downstairs. Shay got up, only to be pushed back down.
"What?" Shay asked her older brother.
"Shay, you look like shit." Shane sat down beside of her, throwing an arm over her shoulders. She leant her head against his shoulder.
"I know." She mumbled. He kissed her atop of the head.
Shane's heart clenched at the sight of his sister. His eyes roamed her over, making sure she's well.
His eyes topped on her wrist. He knew about the three small but deep scars on herring wrist. And he made sure she never did it again. He picked up her wrist as he traced the jagged lines.
"I know what your thinking." Shay sighed and stood up, yanking her wrist with her.
"I haven't... You know. Not in a while." She liked at her open door, behind Shane.
"And it better stay that way." Shane stood up and without warning he threw shay over his shoulder and bounded downstairs and into the kitchen. Shay was laughing while pounding his back.
"Let me down!" She giggled.
He did as she said and scanned her face.
This is the first time, that he's seen a genuine smile on her face since their fathers death. Her eyes although had bags underneath them, as she looked pale and exhausted.
"When was the last time you slept?" Shane asked as their mother laid out the plates, putting eggs, bacon, fruit, and orange juice on them.
"Last night.?" Shay said unsure.
"No, like.. A real good nights sleep.?" Shane sounded worried. She cast her gaze anywhere but him.
Because truth be told.... She hasn't actually slept since eleven months ago.
"Shay." Shane sighed softly.
"It's fine, I'm fine. Now lets eat." Shay fake chirped as she took a seat at the table an began eating.
Shane and his mother, Jenny, exchanged looks before sitting down and enjoying their meal, in piece and quite.
"So, Shay... School starts in two weeks, wanna go shopping?" Shane asked Shay as she flopped onto their living room couch.
Shay blinked once, twice, opened her mouth to speak, but then busted out laughing.
Shane waited patiently for her to simmer down, as he didn't want to stop her from laughing. It's been a while since he's heard her laugh.
Finally, her stomach had started to hurt and her laughter died down.
"What did you find that was soooo funny.?" Shane asked as he dragged out the word, 'so'.
"You. Shopping.? Haha!" She chuckled. Shane glared at her but soon his gaze softened.
"Let's go squirt." He has her hair a pull.
"Let me change." Shay darted upstairs and into her bedroom, quickly stopping she pulled on a black high-waisted-mid-thigh skirt, tucked in white tank top, and wot a pearl pink button-up long sleeves shirt, tucking it in as well, she rolled up the sleeves to her elbows, and pulled on her black flats.
She ran a brush through her brown, elbow-length-wavy hair and darted down stairs, after grabbing her wristlet that held money an her phone in it.
"Ready?" Shane stood up as Shay nodded to his question. He observed her appearance. She dressed nicely and her hair is flawless, but she's pale, and looks sickly.
He sighed and led her out to his truck.
He made sure she buckled up as he sped off towards the local mall.
----
"You are not getting that." Shane told Shay. She was currently looking at a strapless dress. The dress was innocent. It was knee-length, and it wasn't see-through.
"But... Why?"
"It's strapless, it might show your... Your.. You know.." He blushed.
"My what?" Shay smirked as he felt uncomfortable.
"Shay! You're not getting that." Her brother took the dress from her hands and hung it back up on one of the circular racks.
"Fine." She huffed as she pouted.
"Let's go. I'm not falling for the pouty lips thing. That hasn't work since you were seven." Shane tugged her from that store and she dragged him into another one.
By the end of the day, Shay had tons of bags, most of which Shane was carrying.
"There's just two more store that I'm wanting to go in. Go out the bags in the truck an ill come out soon." Shay told her brother. He was exhaustedso he took te few bags that she was carrying and trudged them to the mall parking lot and into his truck.
Shay went into GameStop. Since her brother bought her clothes she decided to hit him a game and her a game herself.
She picked out COD:Black Ops2 for herself and some game called Halo for him. She pulled out her money and walked towards the counter. Being the clumsy seventeen year old she is, bumped into someone and fell down onto the stores filthy floor. She winced as she fell on her arm tag she had hurt in the wreck. It's still painful. She broke her ulna and radius and it still needs time to fully heal.
"Watch where your going." A voice spat down at her. She didn't dare look up as she gathered her two games.
"Sorry." she mumbled. By the time she stood up, there was no longer anyone in front of her.
"Jackass." She mumbled under her death as she continued her walk to the check out counter.
A cute blonde headed boy stood behind, smiling at Shay as she placed her games onto the counter.
"You play video games?" The boy seemed shocked.
"Uh... Yes..?"
"That's cool. The girls at my school wouldn't dare even look at a video game, let alone play one." He run up her bill.
"$26.50." She handed him the money and he gave her her change.
"Thanks." She smiled.
"You're welcome. Come again. Oh, wait! Where do you go to school?" The boy asked her. She turned to face him.
"The local HighSchool."
"That's great. I do too. I'm Connor. It's nice to meet you...." He trailed off as he stuck his hand out for her to shake. Shaking his hand, she felt worried that he might see her scars so she quickly yanked back.
"Shay. I have to go.. See yah." She waved and hightailed out of there. She had one more store left. Which was Victoria's Secret. She didn't want to bring her brother in there with her. It would just be plain-out-akward. Fr her and for him.
After she brought some undergarments, she pushed the GameStop bag that held Shane and her games in it, down into the pink striped VS bag. She quickly made it to the parking lot and into the passages side of her brothers truck.
She won't admit it, but she is still weary about being in a vehicle. She buckled up and with an uneasy sigh, she turned to face her brother. He was staring at the side of her thigh. Her skirt had ridden up and was showing a red mark.
"How'd that happen?" He asked.
"Some jackass ran into me, well more like I ran into him and fell. I didn't even notice that." She sighed. He eyed her a few more minutes before chuckling at her clumsiness and driving home.
----
*.1 week later.*
"Hey mom?" Shay stumbled into the kitchen after a sleepless night.
"Yes, honey?" Her mom turned to smile at her, but soon the smile faded as she took in her daughters appearance.
Her daughter looked lifeless. Like the soul had been sucked straight from her body. She was pale, her cheek bones were more visible, her eyes were bloodshot as dark curled were underneath them. Her body frame stood still, it lanky as she was mostly bone.
"Do you have any make-up?" Shay asked. Her mother dropped her fork onto the table. Make-up? Her daughter wanted make-up? That's unusual. Shay never wears make-up. She thinks its unnatural. That you'll get more wrinkles when you're old and grey.
"Shay, is everything okay?" Her mom asked full of worry.
This isn't her daughter. Her daughter used to be bubbly and her skin wasn't so... White. She want as thin, she had a good figure but now she's... Like a skeleton.
Shay may not come out and say it or admit it, even to herself but ever since the move, she is getting worse. She misses her boyfriend, her friends and her house that had memories from when she was little. She missed visiting her dads gravestone. Even though he was created they put up a tomb stone in their families grave yard.
"Yes. I just want some foundation. I can't start a new school looking like the grim reaper." Shay sighed.
"Morning." Her brother came in, yawning. He noticed the remit on in the air as he hugged Shay. Even he noticed her weight loss.
"What's going on in here?" He asked his mother and Shay.
"Nothing. I'll go get that make-up Shaley." Her mother exited the kitchen as Shane's mouth dropped open.
"You. Make-up? What's wrong?"
"I look like the grim reaper but that's not why I need the foundation. I need to cover up my scars." She said as Shane's gaze drifted towards her wrist.
"Oh. You still haven't let mom see? How'd you pull that off?"
"She doesn't pay attention. She's so busy with work and Jenna and Anna." Shay raked a hand through her hair.
"Shay--"
"Here it is." Jenny came in with the bottle of liquid foundation. Shay took and trudged back-up stairs. She placed it on her nightstand and laid down, falling asleep quickly.
----
The week passed pretty quickly. Anna and Jenna wet school shopping with their mother everyday this week.
Shane stayed home with Shay as he was worried about her.
Shay.... She was hopeless. Hardly ate, barely slept, and now she considered Shane as her babysitter.
----
"Shay, honey.. Wake-up. First day of senior year." Jenny, Shay's mother shook her slightly.
"I'm up." Shay took a quick shower, dried her hair, and put on light mascara, before looking through her clothes.
She decided on yellow pair of skinny jeans, black knee-length boots, a white tank too, and a black a leather half-waist jacket, as she pushed the sleeves up.
Applying the foundation to her right wrist, it covered the scars up, but she decided to wear a silver and black bangle, just in case.
She grabbed her phone and made it downstairs.
"Morning." She mumbled.
"Morning." Anna chirped.
"Good morning." Jenna and Shane said at the same time as they high fives each other.
"What is today?" Shay asked no one in particular.
"Monday." Her mom said.
"No. The date?"
"The thirteenth of August." Anna said slowly.
"I know the month. I'm not stupid." Shaley snapped, instantly regretting it. Everyone sated at her in shock. Usually she want one to snap at her younger sisters, unless they needed it. But Anna just told her the date.
"Anna, I'm sorry." Shay apologized. Anna looked up at her bigger sister, worried for her health. She may be only eight but she can tell something is wrong with her sister.
"It's okay Shay." Anna assured Shay. Shay sighed with relief and soon Shane was taking them all to school. He dropped Anna and Jenna off and then soon was pulling into the local HighSchool parking lot.
"Shay, what's been with you lately?" He asked as he turned off the ignition.
"Do you think dad hates me?" Shay asked him, her voice low and soft, barely above a whisper. Shane looked at her in disbelief.
"Wait! What? Shay! No! Dad... He could never and would never hate you. What makes you think that?"
Shay shrugged as she fiddled with her phone.
"The dreams are getting worse. I can't sleep and every time I think about... I lose my appetite." Shay was close to tears.
Shane didn't say a word. He opened his door, rounded his truck and drug Shaley out.
"Come here." He sighed as pulled her to his chest. She wouldn't cry. She willed herself to not spill one tear drop.
"Mom and I were talking. We're thinking about hiring you a... A therapist." Shane said into her ear.
In the distance he could hear the loud roaring of kids laughing.
"What? No!" Shay yelled out at him as she pulled away and started walking towards the school.
Kids were now watching since she had yelled.
He grabbed her arm and twisted her around.
"Shay. You haven't got a say in this. You're not eating, nor sleeping, and you look lifeless." Shane whispered.
"Maybe I should be lifeless. I made dad lifeless." She said lowly and darkly.
Shane pulled her to him once again, glaring at the students that were watching their every move.
He kissed her forehead, before holding her at arms length.
"Don't you ever say that again. Do you hear me?"he gritted out. She nodded.
"Now go to the office and get your schedule. I'll be here to pick you up at four." And with that said he walked away.
Shay turned and before she could go inside, she noticed everyone was watching their debacle.
'Great!' She thought to herself sarcastically.