[[A/N: Drabbles, one-shots and even a few lemons will be found within these pages, so be sure to read at your own risk. I will say that a certain oneshot is RATED R before I write it, so you don't have to worry about reading all about sex if you don't want to, you can just skip over that chapter :) I hope you all enjoy these One-Shots!
For frakkevin... though I regret writing it like this. He's an awesome friend though his character here is a bit dimwitted, that isn't the case for his true self. He's kind of a badass, just saying. You guys should check him out!]]
He walked down the corridors with his head held high, staring at the odd moving pictures as he went passed.
The headmaster had given him the 'grand tour' not too long ago and yet still he was lost. Kevin didn't even know why he had decided to come to this school, he knew why his Momma had sent him, just to find his father. His long lost father, to be exact.
The halls were empty, the students usually filling them already in class, and he was no closer to finding the man whose seed had helped spawn him.
Tripping over his own shoes, Kevin fell onto his face and spluttered in embarrassment. It didn't matter that nobody else besides the animated paintings saw his fall, he still felt his face turning red and his ears heating up.
How mortifying, the young girl thought to herself as she stared at the boy stumbling through the halls. She'd never seen him before but he seemed like one of those boys.
You know the ones, right?
The ones with Wrackspurts in their brains.
Yes, this black haired, brown eyed boy was definitely infested with wrackspurts, Luna thought. Deciding quickly, she started moving closer to him, wondering what he could be here at Hogwarts for. Perhaps he was new? But he was much to tall to be a Hogwarts first year...
Tugging on his dark red shirt with odd calligraphy writing on it, she tried to get his attention. "Excuse me but-"
Being cut off, she glared at the boy as his face turned towards her.
"DADDY!" The moment the word was out of the wrackspurt-filled boy he tilted his head down to stare at her, his expression beyond disappointed. "You're not my daddy," he muttered childishly, crossing his arms.
"No. I'm Luna Lovegood, who are you?"
"Kevin..."
"How old are you," Luna's head tilted towards the right, her large blue eyes held her usual far-away look in them.
"I'm twenty-two."
"Oh. You looked younger," she drawled, smiling serenely. "Do you have wrackspurts? I thought that you did, you were stumbling around like you do."
Kevin's eyes widened, wondering what the pale blonde haired girl was talking about, "What's a wrackspurt?"
"Never mind that, who are you looking for?" Kevin's eyes drifted across the tiled flooring, moving towards the doors and finally the end of the hallway.
"I'm looking for my daddy. His seed got my momma pregnant and now she told me to find him."
Grimacing, Luna nodded slightly, showing that she had heard.
"Who is your dad?"
"Daddy," he corrected, "Not my dad, my daddy."
"Right right. Well, you is your 'daddy' then, perhaps I can help."
Kevin's chocolately brown orbs widened and began to spakle excitedly. "I don't know but he looks like me and this is where momma said he'd be. She wouldn't lie, right, so he must be here, and he must look like me, so I'm looking for him."
"Well," Luna bit her lip, not feeling quite as dreamy as she usually did, "It's supper time, and most everyone will be in the Great Hall so maybe we should go there to find him."
"Good idea!"
***
After Kevin spent a while following Luna Lovegood around like a small, yet quite adorable, puppy they entered the Great Hall and sat together alone at the end of the Ravenclaw table.
"Is that my daddy?" Kevin asked, pointing towards a random Hufflepuff student and Luna raised an eyebrow before shaking her head.
"I doubt he'd be a student, all of them are younger than you. If your father is here at Hogwarts, then he-"
"Daddy, not father."
"Right, if your 'daddy' were here at Hogwarts like you and your mother claim then he-"
Again, poor Luna was interupted. "Momma not Mother..."
Growling, she continued on as if she'd never heard Kevin speak. "Then he would be a professor, all of whom sit at that table up there." She directed his gaze towards the professor's table and one by one, Kevin asked her if they were his 'daddy'.
"Is he?"
"No, he's a dwarf, you're too tall," she muttered, when he pointed to Flitwick.
"What about him, he's huge! I bet he has a humongous peni-"
Cutting him off quickly before he ruined her perfectly virgin ears she said loudly, "NO! That's Hagrid, he's half-giant. He's not your father."
"Well...what about that guy?"
"Too old."
"Him?"
"He's a ghost!"
"What about that one?"
"No that's not you-" She stopped staring between the two of them. "Actually...it may be."
Professor Snape glared at his plate of food for the longest time, until suddenly from across the Great Hall someone yelled something unrecognizable.
"DADDY!" Pounding footsteps sounded from in front of him but before he could look up at whoever was making such a horrid racket, he found that the person had thrown themselves over the table and hugged him. "I've found you!"
Struggling, Severus finally shoved the person off of him, quickly realizing it was a boy a bit over twenty. He had black hair and dark brown eyes, much like his own in fact, and he could understand how the boy would come up with the theory that Severus was his father.
"I am not your father, boy." The man sneered, scowling at the still grinning, child-like man.
"Of course you're not," Kevin agreed quickly, nodding up and down excitedly. "You're my daddy!"
Kevin couldn't believe his luck momma and best gangbanger mother friend had said that he'd be there, and here he was, just like they said.
"No I am not."
"Yes, you are!" Kevin's eyes shined dangerously, turning dark until they hit near black.
"No."
"YES!" Kevin stomped his foot childishly, his face turning a bright red, this time due to anger and not embarassment...
"No," Snape's voice echoed around the entire Great Hall, letting everyone hear his anger as it reverberated throughout the room.
"I HATE YOU!"
Kevin stomped out of the Great Hall, scowling at nothing imparticular and made his way out of Hogwarts school.
"Kevin, wait!"
Thinking it was the man who seeded his momma, his entire body whipped around only to be faced with the extremely short pale haired girl...Luna, he thought her name was.
"He's like that with everyone, you're better off staying with your momma."
"I don't live with my momma. I live with Lee and her son, she's a gangbanger mommy and lets me stay in her hallway closet. Isn't that nice of her?"
Blinking, Luna couldn't tell if Kevin was joking or being completely serious... "Err, sure, she sounds great."
"And I didn't want a daddy anyway so I don't care about him anymore." Kevin muttered with finallity, glaring at the ground.
"Well, you wanted to find him, right? You did, you found him so now you can go back home and continue on with your life."
Nodding, Kevin set his large hand on top of Luna's head and rubbing aggressively. "You're right," he smiled, turning around and began to walk away into the sunset dramatically.
Smoothing out her white-blonde hair, Luna scowled. "Stupid muggles," she thought to herself, "Now I've got wrackspurts."