If one once said the leader of the Saints still had further to fall into the twisting halls of chaos and insanity, I would have once said that was impossible.
Now, I'm not so sure. Have I truly attained the highest level of chaos I could have?
No. If that was true, then there would be no more need for the Saints. Everything would be attained and there would be nothing more to do.
Life would be boring as fuck.
And that is why, when I snapped at Matt Miller, I realized that what that person once said was true.
Too bad that I'd killed that person.
I literally threw myself at Matt. The contract flew out of his hand, and began floating to the floor below the bedroom. Not that I cared at this current moment.
Matt screamed, and toppled to the floor. I began hitting him with my fists and he responded with a good punch to my jaw.
We rolled over, me on top, then bottom, then top. He pulled at my hair, trying to get me off.
We crashed into the glass- well, through it, actually. Who knew it was so thin?- and fell to the first floor of the penthouse.
I made a grab for the contract, but Matt got to it first and scrambled to his feet. "Hah!"
"Not yet, fuckboy." I said. I tackled him again, and we crashed into the glass table. It broke in half, unable to support our weight. Shit, I needed to buy stronger furniture.
We rolled across the floor and finally separated.
Matt stood up... and stuffed the contract in his pants.
"Fucking seriously?!" I shouted.
"Right now it's touching my penis. So, if you want it, you have to touch my penis too." I got on my knees and literally broke his pants. "I never thought a girl would be so eager to get in my pants." He joked. I was so going to murder him after this.
And then Kinzie walked in.
"Oh, fuck. Again? Matt, your stamina must mean you use your hand a lot."
"Shut up, Kinzie. She wants me."
And then I literally bit Matt's inner thigh. He yelped.
"Wow, I didn't know the boss was so good at blowing people." Kinzie said.
"In my trade, you learn quite a few tricks." I joked. Matt glared at me.
In front of me was his boxers and they were radiating heat. I could see the crumpled contract.
"Kinzie, I order you, as your Boss, to reach down Matt's boxers and get this piece of paper." I pointed at his boxers. Kinzie laughed, but stopped.
"Oh. You're not joking. Well, fuck that. I'm not touching Matt's dick. I can only assume the STDS his hooker mother must have had."
"Keep my mother out of this!"
"Your mother was a hooker?"
"It says so in this little file I got. Melanie "Moaner" Miller." Kinzie waved the file around.
"Your mother was a hooker?" I asked again, looking up wondrously at Matt. If I trained him to be a hooker, I would have a hooker family line!
"My mommy loved me!" Matt said. "Mr. Tinkly Winkles said so!"
"I don't want to know what kind of company you kept." I stood up. "Yknow what? Keep the contract...I'm cool with being sued."
"Woah. Wait a minute. Matt can sue us with whatever is in his pants?" Kinzie asked.
"Yeah, I signed a contract without reading the terms and conditions. I need to fuck Matt Miller in the next 3 days."
"You're gonna fuck him, boss." Kinzie crossed her arms. "You need to take responsibility for your fuck-ups. No pun intended."
"But Kinzie!" I whined. "It's Matt Miller!"
"And you signed something and it says you'd agree to fuck him. Sorry, Boss, but you're having Matt Miller inside you. I can't help you with this."
"Fuuuck!" I moaned.
"That is definetely what we're going to do." Matt said.
I made a slapping motion towards Matt, and he recoiled.
"Hey! No hitting Matt. To be honest, I've always wanted to be a director for a porn movie." Both me and Matt looked at Kinzie. "Okay, so Matt, start with a little bit of sideboob, and then slam her into the table and fucking choke her while calling her a dirty whore, and then fuck her dead body!"
"I'm not going to kill ____!" Matt shrieked.
"Wow, Matt. Way to be a killjoy." Kinzie muttered. She sassily strutted out of the room.
"Is it just me or do I know more about Kinzie now than I ever did when changing her files?" Matt shivered.
"Look. Matt, we don't need to do this. I'll admit you're right."
"Should've done that a long time ago, ____." Matt looked at me. "Now, you're going to be screaming my name."
"I wouldn't go that far, sex god."
"I never said I was a sex god!" Matt protested. "Just because I am not promiscuous does not mean I cannot make love!"
"Woah, Matt. We're not making love, we are fucking. I made love with Johnny Gat because he was my best friend and although I didn't want to marry him or be in a relationship with him, it was satisfying because I loved him because he was fucking awesome." I took a deep breath. "Making love has emotions involved. Fucking is just slamming two bodies together for mutual pleasure. Option number two, please."
"...But... can't you put emotion into it just this once?"
"Matt, you're not rich. You're not good looking. You're not good at sex. What's to love?"
"You're shallow. I kind of expected that." Matt sighed. "Please let me make love to you."
"Matt. Love isn't a word that comes up in my dictionary often. I love the Saints- provided Pierce isn't involved. I love fucking. I love killing." I sighed. "Three main loves. Killing, fucking, and Pierce. Wait, shit, no... I was thinking of Pierce when I said that. Fuck me, I messed up!"
"The contract clearly states make love."
Oh, for fucks' sake.
I was taking Kinzie's Safeword VIP pass after this.