Mist hangs over the new green shrubs carpeting the forest floor. My lungs fill with crisp air as we gallop down a narrowing track, away from the high walls, cramped courtyards and lifeless maze of the fort. The rising sun glances through the trees and sparkles in my vision.
Kel could get well again living in the forest. A familiar place. Away from the countless minds of men and women with greed and fear and self-serving desire in their hearts. Now all I must do is convince him he will be safe here. Without me.
We slow our horses to navigate the undergrowth and fallen branches. The stone house lies to the east of the castle, not far from the lake, but in a thick part of woodland with few man-made paths. I spot it between the long trunks and anticipation and anxiety cut through me.
Two guards straighten at our approach. The Duchess appears from the low, simple structure. She signals to let us pass.
"You have not got long," Tug says.
"I know."
I dismount and pass him the reins. Strength seeps from my legs as I stride across the small clearing. The Duchess tears her eyes from Tug to step aside and allow me entrance. Once I am level with her, I pause.
"I will hold you entirely responsible for my brother's well-being until Tug returns."
Her gaze drops to the leafed medallion in her gloved fingers. "I was four or five," she says, "when Tye and his father found me." Turmoil roils beneath her poised expression. It strikes me she has hidden her past from all who surround her almost as expertly as Tug. "I don't remember my life before that. Only the fear. Afraid every breath I took would be my last. Afraid of living, terrified of dying."
For a moment, I imagine the Duchess a captive like my childhood friend, Asmine. An image surfaces on my inner eye. The girl in the Pit, dressed in frills, clasping a shiny purse, immobilized with terror. I doubt she will be as fortunate as Elise.
The Duchess flinches. She may not willingly use her sight, but she cannot avoid the memories of others.
"You could use your influence with your husband to change things," I say. "Instead, you hide."
She bows her head, and I push through the stone doorway, not allowing her to see the crack in my unforgiving attitude. In her position, my mother might have done the same.
The room is in a shambles. Dust covers the wooden table. A small fire burns in the hearth. Cobwebs, thicker than cloth, crisscross sloping shelves. A draught blows through the open door and whistles between tiny gaps in the walls. The one-room building hasn't been used for years.
Kel sits on a raised platform covered in brightly colored quilts, which Elise must have sneaked from the fort. He is upright but his eyes are shut, head leaning against worn stone.
I perch on the edge of the bed and touch my hand to his face. His body tenses, but when he sees me his shoulders slump, and he gives a wan smile. His face looks tired and so serious, but life flutters in his glimmering irises. I take off my gloves and squeeze his hands.
"Hi, Bud."
"You said you weren't coming for me till moonrise," he murmurs. "I didn't know if she was your friend, or if it was a trick."
"We had to change the plan."
He twists his arms around me and snuggles his face into my furs.
"You're OK," I say into his hair. "You're safe." I wrap him close and hum one of Ma's lullabies.
He used to sit on Ma's lap while she rocked him and sang him to sleep. Nothing grated on my nerves more. Now all I want is to make him feel that safe. I wish we could pretend we've found a magic door to an enchanted wood where neither monsters nor men can come for him. He sniffles and rubs his eyes. The crying is a good sign. He is letting go of all he's kept locked inside him. Of the weight that was pulling him under.
"The lady says I'm not strong enough to leave yet," he whispers. "But I'm strong enough, Mirra. I promise. I ate two whole breakfasts."
I smile while scrambling for a way to stop the little bud of hope in his heart being crushed, before it has barely formed.
"You look stronger," I say. "Ma and Pa will be so proud of you. I'm proud of you."
His bottom lip trembles. "I want to go home."
"We both do. I want to go home too."
"But I think the lady is right."
My eyes narrow. What has the Duchess told him? My mind strays for a moment, wondering how she got him out of the fort, how many helped her and how trustworthy they are.
"Right about what?"
"She says if we leave now, people will see my eyes and try to capture me again. She says I can stay here until they don't glitter. Her guards will protect us."
I look towards the open doorway. The Duchess waits outside, hugging her silver fur cape around narrow shoulders.
"What's wrong?" Kel asks. "She is your friend, isn't she?"
"She's asked me to do something for her."
"That's why she's helping us?"
I nod. I want Kel to believe he is safe and free, so he will regain his strength. But one day it will be Tug that comes to take him home, not me. And I cannot let him wholeheartedly trust the Duchess. Enough to believe she will take care of him until he returns to our parents, yes, but not enough to let her deceive him if I fail to discover the Prince's assassin.
"She has a little boy who's in danger. She wants me to go to a city far from here and discover who wishes him harm."
"Will it be dangerous?"
"It will not be easy. But coming after you in Blackfoot Forest when I had been injured was not easy. Finding you in the fort and getting you out of the tower was not easy."
A flicker of determination ignites in his sombre gaze. "If anyone can do it, you can."
"Yes," I say, squeezing his fingers.
"But will she force you to go? Did she buy you?"
"Nobody can own us. We are free and there is always a choice." He lets go of my hand and cups the lodestone necklace I gave him before he was sold in the Pit.
"I know you're coming back for me. I know now. I promise I won't doubt you again."
Pressure crushes my head. I pretend to arrange his covers, unable to meet his dazzling gaze in case he sees my own doubts. "You're my north," I say, pushing the words through the slim hole of my swollen windpipe.
"How long can you stay?" he asks.
"If I accept, I must leave straight away."
His chest shudders as he releases an anguished sigh. He rests his head back against the stone. When he opens his eyes, tears spill down his cheeks. "I'll be OK," he says.
I cup his face in my hands and kiss the salty trails. "I don't want to leave you."
"When you come back, I'll look different, and we can go home."
I throw my arms around him and squeeze until I'm breathless. I tell him how brave and strong he is and how much I love him, and then through his hiccups and sobs he tells me to go.
Tug waits out of sight at the edge of the track. I am surprised he has not dismounted to talk with Elise. He does not speak as I mount my mare. We turn back along the overgrown path towards the fort.
I ride behind him, never more uncertain of his motives. Protecting Duchess Elise has always been a priority. But so has staying away from her. Does he chaperone me to the Red City to make sure I do the Duchess's bidding? Or is it a way to both protect her and escape her at the same time? Yet if he was running away, he would not have suggested delivering my findings to her in person, or returning to Lyndonia to take charge of Kel.
Jakut believes finding me was the will of the Carucan Gods. He showed his devoted faith and trust through the spiritual cleansing, and I was their answer. But what does Tug believe in? It is not coin. Nor superstition. Nor unrequited love.
Reaching the pier to the drawbridge, I draw my horse to a stop. Beyond the portcullis lies the front courtyard where in minutes soldiers, the Duke and the Prince will gather, and it will be days before I might find myself alone with Tug again. Tug halts and brings his stallion round to face me.
"If I die," I say, "before I find out who ordered the attack on the Prince's escort, I want your word you'll take Kel back to our parents."
He straightens in his saddle. His gaze shifts to the distant forest. He breathes deeply. Sunshine falls on the shadows of his tattoos, outshining their darkness so he appears more man than beast.
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