Mom headed straight for the chair in the corner when she entered the room. She sat down with a small smile in my direction and that was it. I wasn't sure what she was thinking; wasn't sure what her smile meant. The silence stretched on, and that was when a single tear escaped Mom's eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She immediately wiped it away knowing that I was looking at her.
"Mom." On reflex, I stood up from my seat and hurried towards her. "Are you -"
"I'm okay, Sweetie," she answered with another smile even before I could finish my question. "I'm okay."
I leaned down and hugged her. Maybe I did know what my Mom was feeling, after all, at least part of it.
I knew that she was having a hard time believing. That this day was finally here, that this day was right in front of our faces, and that this day was really happening.
I couldn't blame her. After everything that happened in the past, I had my fair share of doubts as well. I needed assurance. Assurance that all would be well. Assurance that fate was really on our side. Assurance that... this day was not a dream but the reality.
"Yeon," Mom softly said as she pulled away from my embrace. She gently reached for my hands. "Everything's going to be alright, Dear. Everything." She squeezed my hands as if she had heard my unspoken plea.
I forced myself to smile for her and nodded. I knew she wanted to be strong in front of me, so I needed to be strong for her, too.
Mom opened her mouth to say something else but she closed it before any word was out. Instead, she stood up and headed for the door. "Stop worrying, okay? It won't happen again. I'll see you later." And with one last smile at me, she stepped out, leaving me alone to my thoughts.
The moment Mom was out, my heart thumped in my chest. I knew exactly what I needed.
I scanned the room, quickly dismissing every item that wasn't what my eyes were looking for. After what seemed a very long time of searching, I finally found it, settled inconspicuously at the base of the table.
A small plain-looking box.
I sat beside it and settled it in my lap. I hadn't opened it since the time of the accident, afraid that things would repeat themselves. But now, I knew if there was a right time for me to revisit the past, now would be that time.
I took off the lid and placed it gently aside, my eyes transfixed on what's inside the box. Memories flooded through me as I carefully sifted through each of the material inside.
A sandwich wrapper, a scrapbook and a piece of paper.
I picked up the wrapper and a smile couldn't help plastering itself on my face when I remembered the memory that went with it. I laid it aside on top of the lid and took out the scrapbook next. It looked tattered and old. I can only imagine how much effort and sweat he had actually put into it and how long he had kept it
The recollection of the memory suddenly brought a tear to my face. I hugged the scrapbook tight and let the tears flow. It's okay, Jiyeon. Everything's okay now, I repeated my mother's words inside my head.
For a moment I let myself silently cry knowing I had to get all the uncertainties out of my system. Then I wiped my face clean and settled the scrapbook next to the wrapper. Finally, my eyes focused on the last object inside the box. My heart made a sudden jump as I slowly took the paper in my hands and unfolded it.
The tears that I had wiped just seconds ago flowed freely on my cheeks. I knew there was no stopping them now that I had read the first lines. As the torrent of familiar images rushed through me, I was pulled back into the memory that had started this all.
~~~
Ever since I could remember, life has always been about moving from one place to another because of my father's work. Whatever friendship I made, I always end up leaving it behind. I've gotten so used to it though that I didn't really mind anymore.
I was twelve years old then when we were moving again to a new place. It was in the middle of summer and the weather was very fine that day when our car rounded the corner and entered Fair View town.
It was the first time that we were moving to a rural area and I couldn't help gaping at the sight that I was seeing. There were more trees here than all of the trees combined that I've seen in my life. The school was decently huge and I think I saw a lake in the distance while there seemed to be a beach on the other side of the town. There was also a forest beyond the lake. Wow. So many places to explore. It was the first time that I was excited about moving to a new place.
The car halted and I rushed out of it in excitement. Our new house was a two-story building that was in the middle of two other similar-looking houses, separated only by picket fences and a tall tree on one side. It had also a lawn and a small garage.
Without waiting for anyone, I grabbed one of my boxes from the back of the car and sprinted towards the open door, already having a room in mind.
"Hey, no fair!" Chris, my slightly older brother, called from behind me.
I ignored him and headed straight, running up the stairs. I eyed the two doors and remembered the tree from outside near one of the windows. I kicked one of the doors open and voila, one of the tree's branches was tapping the window.
I settled the box down, sat on the bed, and looked outside. Three meters away was another window leading to another room like mine on the neighbor's house. My first instinct was to make friends but then I remembered that I had already decided to distance myself away from new people. In my mind, I was giving my parents 2-3 months before they would tell me to pack up again, 6 months being the longest. With that said, there was really no need for me to bother.
Chris was coming up the stairs when I was going down. I smirked at him for being too slow.
"That one is mine," I told him, pointing the door to my new room.
"Whatever."
I might have been the younger sibling but Chris knew I would not easily relent to whatever it was that I already set my sights on. After three more trips, all my things were in my room. I could not wait to look around.
"Mom?" I called from the living room.
"In the kitchen, dear."
I smiled when I saw my mom already preparing snacks even when we've only been in the house for like 15 minutes. At the sight of me, she picked up a sandwich and a bottle of water and handed them to me.
"You can go look around," she said. "Just make sure to be back before sundown."
I eyed my mom suspiciously.
She laughed. "What?"
"Sometimes I'm wondering if you can read my mind and silently listens to my request, so you can grant them before I could say them."
She just winked at me and waved me off. Happily, I obliged. At first, I wasn't sure where to go, but then I remembered the lake. It took a lot of back and forth before I finally reached it (I would figure out later that it wasn't that far from home).
To my surprise, there were several people in the area, a few of them even my age. Some were feeding ducks, others just hanging out on the benches and the bridge in the middle. Some were playing tag, others swimming on the other side of the lake. There was even a group of people on the dock, fishing.
The sun was slowly climbing down and trees from the adjacent forest gave half of the lake shade. After walking around, I decided to sit on a bench near the entrance of the forest and in front of the dock. I was curious as to what fishing would look like up close. All my life, I've been a city girl so everything around me was surreal. I liked it though. My stay wouldn't be so bad, after all, I think as I unwrapped my sandwich and took a bite, not knowing that it was the beginning of a disaster that was to come.
One moment I was eating, the next moment the sandwich was flying off my hand and into the hands of one of the people on the dock.
"Thank you!" he yelled, waving my abducted snack in the air. "I was getting hungry waiting for the fishes!"
I stood up and tried to send him some of my death glares though his face was covered by his cap. I couldn't believe that he had just fished my sandwich out of my hands. If he had missed and hit me instead... My blood boiled at the thought and instinctively, I marched around the lake, and then towards the dock, every fiber of my being out for revenge.
There were several of them but my tunnel-like vision was focused on the stranger who had stolen my snack. Smiling sarcastically, he stood up and faced me.
"Hey stranger," he greeted. "Have I already thanked you for this?" He waved the sandwich in front of me, its cellophane torn because of the fish hook that snagged it.
The thief was a boy who, surprisingly, was my age. I sneaked a glance behind him and found several young people as well, more or less in our year. They were looking at us expectantly; only one person had the decency to look embarrassed.
"Give. That. Back," I said through gritted teeth as I returned my attention to him.
He shrugged. "Make me," he taunted, sticking his tongue out at me.
I wanted nothing but to strangle him at that moment. I lunged for the sandwich but his hand automatically brought it upwards, out of reach. I reached for it again but he had several inches on me.
"Oops, too short," he sang, clearly enjoying my predicament.
I kicked his knee, only to miss since he got it out of the way in time.
"Oops, too slow," chirped the irritating jerk, a smirk on his lips. He started backing away towards the side of the lake. "If you want this, you're gonna have to run. Fast." Without waiting for my reaction, he took off running, leaving his friends in shock.
"Has he lost his mind?" I heard one of them say to another.
"Totally, dude," the other replied, his voice in pure awe.
"Hey mi-"
I was already running after the stupid jerk. Overconfident, the boy stopped in his tracks and turned in my direction, probably making sure that I was following. He smiled then before he started running again. Not a sneer nor a leer, not even a jeer; just a simple smile that reached his eyes and showed that he was happy. It was hard to confirm with our distance though. I must have been imagining. Either that or the idea of tormenting me really gave him joy.
"You run like a turtle!"
His voice was loud enough to snap me out of my thoughts and apparently, loud enough to catch everyone else's attention. Children and adults alike watched: one kid chasing another around the lake. Some of the smaller children started cheering for me and I suddenly felt power surged through my limbs. I forced my legs to run faster and I was finally gaining on him. He was getting closer, almost within my reach. Everyone held their breath as I reached out a hand. Almost there. Just a bit more. Just a bit mo-
A shriek escaped my lips as the boy disappeared from my view and was replaced by the orangey purplish sky. Something had made me slip (a wet plastic I would find out later) and my body was suddenly sore all over. My butt stung, my back hurt. It felt like I was dropped from a cliff, no kidding.
"Are you okay?"
I didn't recognize the voice at first. It was filled with so much concern I didn't think it could belong to the sandwich thief. I felt a hand on my back, gently pushing me up.
"Are you okay?" he repeated, his hand lightly squeezing my shoulder, his gaze probing mine for an answer.
My breath suddenly caught. I was looking at the most beautiful eyes that I have ever seen (though that might not be saying much since I was only a kid, but I was almost sure that I could stare at it for hours).
He waved his hand in front of my face. That shook me out of my insane thoughts. I was suddenly aware of the other people who had gathered around us.
"Are you okay? Your face is red," he said.
My blush deepened. I ignored him and tried to stand up with dignity. My back still hurt though, and I visibly flinched.
"Take it easy." His voice was still filled with concern as he gently steadied me.
Enraged, I shook his hands off my shoulder and, without really thinking about it, pushed him into the lake.
I ran away, my face burned with shame and mortification. The sandwich thief was yelling something at me but his words got lost in the air.
That day, I went home hungry and humiliated. All because of him.