I laid awake in bed that night for hours after Taylor had gone to sleep. I wasn't sure if it was because my body was chilled to the bone due to the fact that I was naked under the thin covers that I had buried myself under or because of what had just gone on between the two of us a few hours earlier. I had fallen asleep for a little while but there were noises coming from the room next to us and from outside that had woke me up and my mind hadn't let me fall back to sleep yet. I didn't want to regret it when I woke up, I didn't want to regret it next week, or next month, or next year, but now that my mind seemed to be a bit clearer I wasn't sure if we'd made the right decision or not. We were trying to take things slow, one step at a time, but that all went out the window last night.
After staring at the ceiling for an hour or two, I sat up in search for my shirt, which I had no clue where he had tossed it hours earlier in our mess of exploring hands and sloppy yet passionate kisses. There was no doubt that we had those feelings built up inside of ourselves but I would've much rather made that decision sober than shitfaced like I was tonight.
"Hey, you okay?" Taylor asked groggily, rubbing his barely open eyes.
"Cold," I replied, pulling the sheet close to my ice cold bare skin.
"My sweatshirt's on the dresser," he replied, "After you fell asleep, I put my clothes back on and I left it out, I figured you'd be cold if you woke up like this but I didn't want to wake you up," he yawned before turning back onto his side and going back to sleep.
I let a small smile creep onto my face after he turned back over but it didn't last very long because I was going to have to walk to the dresser naked. All of the sudden I was embarrassed, I felt awkward and dirty and ashamed and didn't want to be parading around the damn hotel room naked. I wasn't used to just having sex with someone without a second thought. I didn't even begin to even think about it until I was 15 and now here I was, four years later, and both times I had slept with someone I was shitfaced. I didn't even remember the first time and I wasn't one hundred percent sure I'd fully remember tonight either.
After a minute or two of thinking, I managed to take the top blanket off the bed and wrap it around my freezing body to grab his sweatshirt and my underwear which had ended up in the corner of the room. I quickly slipped on the sweatshirt then pulled my underwear back on before diving under the warmth of the covers once more.
Once I had crawled back under the covers, Taylor turned over toward me and scooted closer, wrapping his arm around my torso tightly and his other arm found my hand under the pillow. And that was enough to get me to go back to sleep and stay there the rest of the night.
###
I woke up at eleven the next morning with my head resting on his chest and his arm wrapped around me tightly. Any regrets I might've woken up with were gone for the time being because this was my new favorite thing in the entire world.
"It's about time you woke up," Taylor laughed, turning off his phone he had been playing on while waiting for me to wake up.
"I didn't sleep well," I said, my head still resting against his chest and my fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt.
"I know," he said, wrapping his other arm around me so that he was almost hugging me, "You were out for an hour but I think I woke you up when I got up and put my clothes back on and went to the bathroom," he said, kissing me on the forehead
"Yeah," I replied.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked after a minute.
"There's nothing to talk about," I replied quietly.
"Tess, please don't bottle it up, you're upset, I can tell, remember?" he said, "It's fine if you regret what happened, whatever, I kind of figured there would be a chance of that happening and I don't care if you do."
"It's not that I regret what we did I just regret that we did it drunk," I replied, "I don't know, it was stupid and it was something I shouldn't have done and if we're going to have sex I much would've done it sober when I remembered it just so I don't feel like a slut or something, okay?"
"I get it," he said, "But I remember last night and I'm pretty sure you do too and it's going to be a little foggy either way."
"Yeah, it's just, it got me thinking," I sighed, "I don't even remember that night I slept with Matt Reid. I just remember waking up naked and I could barely walk and the sheets were a mess, I don't remember a thing about that night other than dancing with him before everybody scattered."
"Don't feel bad," he said, "To be honest; I don't even remember the name of the first girl I slept with. That was so out of character for you, it's nothing you should be ashamed of yourself for, okay? Besides, you were 16 and drunk and a little stupid, it happens."
"Okay," I sighed.
"Seriously Tess," he said, "You're pretty much perfect," he said, kissing my cheek and squeezing me tight, "Don't fret about it."
###
Half an hour later, we had gotten up and were meeting Hank, Ethan, and Chase for breakfast before heading back to Buffalo to pack the rest of our stuff and get on the plan for Aladine. We had gone over to the same place for the last three years since I could be his designated driver, and we'd always end up at the same little motel at the end of the night and eating brunch at the same little diner downtown the next morning before heading back home to Buffalo.
"Finally," Chase groaned as we sat down at the table with them at the diner downtown.
"Is somebody a little hungover this morning?" I grinned.
"What do you think smartass?" he asked.
"Extremely hungover," I smirked.
Chase was by far the most fun to mess with out of all the guys, it was even more fun to mess with him when he was hungover, in my opinion.
"So uh, you guys were in the room next to mine right?" Ethan asked.
"Yeah, 109," Taylor replied, "Why?"
"Well there were some interesting noises coming from room 109 after we got back," he smirked, causing my face to turn a bright shade of red.
"What kind of noises?" Chase asked with a grin.
"Some, uh, sexual, noises," he smirked, trying not to laugh, nearly causing Chase to spit his coffee everywhere.
"Fuck you," I spat, sending Ethan a glare.
"Actually I think you were fucking Taylor last night," he laughed, causing Chase and Hank to laugh uncontrollably.
"That was a good one, I'll give you that," Taylor said, a small grin creeping onto his face.
"Remember that time you made out with a guy?" I asked with a completely straight face.
"We're not bringing that up," he said quickly.
"You were tonguing her all night and you took her home to realize she was actually he and still had shit between his legs," I laughed.
"I was very drunk and he had boobs," he said quietly, his face bright red.
"Damn I almost forgot about that one," Chase, who was now hysterically laughing, remarked, "I would've loved to see the look on your face when you were half undressed and took off his skirt," he laughed.
"I'd rather not revisit that moment," Ethan said.
"I have more dirt on you than you do on me so I wouldn't start shit if I were you," I laughed, "All those times you guys got blackout, I was usually sober enough to remember all the stupid shit all three of you have done, so don't get me started," I laughed.
"That is a very valid point she has," Taylor grinned.
"Yeah I think I'm going to stop giving you shit now," Ethan laughed.
"Good idea," I replied.
###
"Bye Dad, I'll see you soon," I said as I hugged my dad goodbye at the gate at the airport the next afternoon.
"Bye honey," Dad said, "It was nice to have you two back for a little while."
"Thanks, Mr. Walters," Taylor said, shaking his hand.
"You're welcome at our house any time," Dad said, shaking his hand before giving him a hug, "I mean it."
"Thanks," Taylor said with a smile.
"We have to board now," I said as the announcement came over the PA system.
"Be safe!" Dad called out as we walked away to board the plane.
Taylor sat in the middle seat and I ended up sitting on the aisle. There was no way I was sleeping through this flight after the amount of coffee I had consumed that day so I figured it'd be better to sit on the aisle for easy access to the bathroom if I got so anxious I threw up like I had the last time I didn't sleep through a flight last year.
"You going to be okay?" Taylor asked.
"I think so," I said, wringing my hands on my lap.
"Well I'll be glad to try to distract you," he grinned, reaching over and taking my left hand, the hand closest to him, in his.
"Thanks," I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder.
It was funny actually, three weeks ago on the plane to Buffalo I wasn't sure how I felt about the whole romantic relationship thing. Three weeks later I felt completely different, I was excited to be with Taylor and now I wanted everyone to know it too. I wasn't embarrassed that we'd had sex anymore because I knew regretting it and wishing it never happened was only going to hurt our relationship and I didn't want to do that. I was determined to make it work because I didn't ever want to let him slip through my hands.
###
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