listen to the man - george ezra
p a t r o c l u s
" my friend, great hearted friend. "
"Two papers due by Friday and three, you hear that Patroclus, three people have noticed I've cut my hair," Achilles laid his head down on the Chemistry table. Patroclus rolled his eyes, taking off his safety goggles.
"Blame it on your mother, not me," Patroclus looked over at his best friend. Achilles lifted his head up, pouting.
"The man bun won't be present any time soon."
"And I don't think anyone is complaining as much as you are. Now get your bag and let's go to lunch," Patroclus said, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and walking towards the door. Achilles followed after him, walking beside him downtime hallway.
"Hey, Pat, could - "
Patroclus handed Achilles a ten dollar bill. "Go buy your dumb sandwich wrap thing, I'll go find a table to sit at. And don't waste the rest of it on gummy worms!" He called out as Achilles made his way to the lunch line. He found an empty table, setting his bag down and taking out his lunch.
"Hey, Patroclus, you're really smart, right?"
Patroclus sighed, recognizing the voice. "Yeah, Hector, why?"
Hector sat down across from Patroclus, taking a sip from his Dr Pepper can. "So my brother got himself into this shit pile of a mess with Menelaus' girl -"
"Please get to the point," Patroclus said, opening his sandwich bag.
"Okay, so I just need you to tell Menelaus or whatever that Paris isn't gonna mess with Helen anymore and - "
"Is that the truth?" Patroclus raised an eyebrow.
"Well...no...but I just need someone to back him up because he's already annoying the shit out of me with complaining about this situation and I need him to stop - "
"Hector, as much as I care about your pretty brother and his girl problems," Patroclus looked up at the other boy, "I'm really not gonna lie. It'd start a drama war and I don't wanna be caught in that."
"Oh, hey, Hector," Achilles sat down next to Patroclus, raising his eyebrows at the boy with the Dr Pepper. Hector gave a fake smile back.
"Achilles. Listen just tell your boyfr - "
"Not his boyfriend," Patroclus muttered. Hector sighed.
"Okay, just can you guys please back Paris up for this?"
"No can do, I already saved his butt from that fiasco with Emelia last year. Not doing that again. Plus, Menelaus wouldn't believe us," Achilles opened up his wrap and shrugged his shoulders.
"Whatever," Hector rolled his eyes, getting up from the table and walking away.
Achilles looked over at Patroclus. "This isn't gonna be pretty. Oh and," he held up two bags of gummy worms, "you're welcome."
"Achilles! I told you not to!" Patroclus complained, watching Achilles laugh.
"Hey, one for me and one for you. It's even."
"Oh yeah, totally fine - "
"I'm gonna kill him," a voice sounded in front of the two boys.
"Oh Jesus, here we go," Achilles set the bag down, taking a bite of his food.
"Those brothers and their ideas of taking whatever they want!" Menelaus seethed, his fists on the table. "Like, there's so many girls in this town!"
"I know," Achilles noted, taking another bite.
"And Helen isn't taking anyone's side! Like, she says she loves me but I've seen her once today and it's all Paris' fault!"
"Isn't it always?" Patroclus opened his water bottle, looking at the red haired boy sitting across from him. "Just don't get me involved."
"C'mon, Pat, you're so smart! You've gotta help me!"
"Why doesn't anyone come to me?" Achilles protested, looking at Menelaus.
"Because he," Menelaus pointed at Patroclus, "actually gets shit done."
"Oh, I get shit done."
"No, you just do shit. There's a difference."
Patroclus looked over at Achilles. "There is."
Achilles kicked Patroclus' leg, frowning. "You're supposed to support me!"
"Shut up, we both know you're problematic. And Menelaus, listen, as much as I feel you on not liking Hector, honestly I can't get into shit again this year. Maybe ask Diomedes? I don't know, he'll do anything for free booze."
"Whatever. And you," Menelaus looked back at Achilles, "you doing track this year?"
Achilles smirked. "Am I? Hell yes. And I'm gonna kick your ass again. Now go tell your brother to get a life."
"Of course," Menelaus shook his head, walking off.
Patroclus looked over at Achilles. "Can I come over tonight?"
"If you wanna see me in my underwear, you can just ask."
"Shut up," Patroclus blushed, "no, it's just that I threw a potted plant at my neighbors' son and my parents are super mad at me so I need to hide out at you're place."
Achilles raised an eyebrow. "Why exactly did you throw a potted plant?"
"Long story, he made me mad," Patroclus shrugged, opening a gummy worms package.
"Alright, just don't let my mom know. She'll remind you to not do drugs and somehow get into safe sex," Achilles laughed, reaching into the bag in Patroclus' hands. Patroclus looked up at Achilles.
"I know. Last time I asked her how to bake a casserole and she ended up telling me to use a condom and lube."
"Aha, yeah, we'll order pizza. And if you wanna see me in my underwear, that offer is still up - "
"Achilles!"
"Alright, alright. I just don't wanna leave anybody out."
- - -
"Okay, Pat, hear me out - homework in exchange for free pizza," Achilles explained, laying upside down off of his bed, his hair falling into his face. Patroclus turned around from his laptop, rolling his eyes.
"I'm not writing your Biology paper."
"I can give you Ryan Smith's num - "
"I don't want Ryan Smith's phone number, he wears dumb socks," Patroclus sighed, rolling his eyes. Achilles sat up, running a hand through his hair.
"I'm letting you stay at my house."
Patroclus looked at the blond. "You always let me stay here. Besides, I assured your mom that you aren't sleeping with Riley Carter when we came home."
"By the way, thanks for that. Mom saw me talking to her back in June and I've been trying to console her ever since."
"Right. I'm still not doing your paper. And because I'm actually done with mine, I'm gonna order pizza. And you can only have some if you finish your paper," Patroclus raised his eyebrows.
Achilles pouted. "I hate you."
"No you don't."
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a/n : thanks to everyone who has left votes and comments !! ily all. feel free to leave comments and your thoughts !!
- ash