“Auntie Mary,” Nessie said cautiously as she knocked on the door to my room, she peaked her bronze ringlets around the corner. “May Jake and I come in?”
I smiled up at her, I patted the side of my bed so that she knew she could sit down and join me. “Of course, sweetie.”
Her chocolate eyes were empty while she had attempted a grin. She was grieving and trying not to let me see it. Renesmee was always so strong, much like her father. “How are you feeling?”
I smiled back a her, trying to be reassuring. “Healthy as a horse.”
I could see the tears start to form in her typically joyful eyes and she tried to push them back with a small laugh. Her young and glowing cream colored hand took hold of mine, reminding me of what I once was. Renesmee and I didn’t exactly know what to say to each other. Neither of us were good at goodbyes.
Jake cleared his throat. “Are you scared?”
“Of dying?” I asked, “Nah. Not a bit. It’s natural.”
I felt Renesmee gently squeeze my hand and I didn’t miss the tear that had escaped. I had loved this child, I had watched her grow inside her mother’s stomach, I had watched her grow up so miraculously, I had watched as she fell in love and got married. I had gone from being called her sister, to her aunt, and eventually being introduced as her grandmother.
“Don’t cry, Nessie.” I sat my fragile withered form up and wrapped my grey and wrinkled arms around her. “Shh, Ness, don’t cry.”
“I love you, Mary.” Nessie spoke through her tears. “I-I’m going to miss you so much.”
Renesmee had never been subjected to watching death, or age, except from her grandfather who had died twenty years ago. Everyone else in her life would continue on with her forever, and I think that she had somewhat expected me to as well.
But I wasn’t going to. Carlisle had said he doubted I was going to survive through the night. This was my end, and I had lived my life so well and haven’t missed out on anything at all.
I had married the man that I had loved so truly. I had spent a lifetime with my mother, who had died at the age of ninety-three. I had spent all the time in the world with the family I had loved, and survived all the drama that it came with.
There was nothing I regretted in my life, and especially not my choice to remain human through it all. There were times that I had given thought to giving in and joining their life, but I knew that it was not something that I was meant to do.
And as the years wore on, it led me here. To the day I was to die.
“I love you, Nessie.” I said finally. “I have always loved you, and I always will.”
I allowed her to rest her head on me until she finally calmed down and her tears stopped flowing, which Edward and Bella had timed excellently with their arrival inside the room to join us. Jacob and Nessie exited, allowing them to say their goodbyes in private.
Laying eyes on Edward nearly made me burst into tears. Edward had always been my best friend and my most trusted and admired companion. I had wanted to extend my time with him and re-live all of those precious moments that the two of us had shared together. I loved my brother, dearly.
Edward smiled sadly and walked around, placing a kiss on top of my gray hair and taking my fragile hand in his. Bella had carefully wiped a tear from my gray cheek, allowing me some dignity. My decision to stay human, to ultimately die, was something she could have never understood. But it was something that she had respected me for.
“You can still change your mind, Louie.” Edward said, the hope still slightly in his voice. “You can still chose to stay with us.”
I laughed a little. “No thank you, Edward. I don’t want to stay a hundred and eleven years old for the rest of eternity. Carlisle had kept me alive entirely too long.”
Edward swallowed the tears he wouldn’t shed. “We’ll miss you. More than you know.”
I smiled a little, sadness shining through. “This is the way it’s supposed to be.”
Bella, always awkward to show her feelings, spoke up this time. “I-I-I don’t know what we are going to do without you, Mary. I never-we-I never pictured this.”
I patted her leg, stopping her from jumbling her words any more. “I know, Bella, believe me. I never really pictured my death either, it feels like my life has flown by.”
“It has.” Edward said. “Especially for us.”
I gave Edward’s hand another squeeze, knowing that this was the last time that he and I were ever going to talk. I really wished that I had something better to say to him, but I was honestly just too weak to pour my heart out.
Carlisle and Esme were by my side next, and both carefully took my body into a hug. I had already said my goodbyes to them, the people I had always considered my parents, even though everyone else now saw me are theirs.
There was another knock at the door, and Rosalie’s voice rang in. “May I have a moment alone with her? Please.” Slowly, everyone gave me one final hug and sullenly walked out of the room while Rosalie waited on the other side, arms at her side and looking at her feet.
Once we were alone, she spoke up. “I know I’ve spent your entire life preaching about how much I hated the idea of you becoming a vampire and giving it all up. I-I know that..” Rosalie was having trouble not choking in her grief, “I know…that now that you’re sitting here about to…about to die.”
It was silent for a long moment while she gathered her thoughts. Instead of talking immediately, before I could blink I was wrapped in a tight hug. Her voice was thick in my ear. “Mary, I love you and I cannot tell you how…proud I am of you. You’ve stuck to your guns all these years and I can’t imagine how hard it must have been looking into that mirror as you grew older and older and watching Emmett and all of us stay like this.
“I can’t imagine what was going through your head as you realized that you were ultimately going to die and leave us all. I can’t imagine the pain you’ve gone through, that inner torment. You, Mary, are so much stronger than anyone gives you credit for. I don’t think you know how much I am going to miss you.”
Rosalie pulled away, her yellow eyes liquid with emotion. I could tell from the warmth on my cheek that mine were wet with tears. I had always admired Rosalie, and now it was her giving me praise. One again she spoke, her cold hand in mine. “I wish there were some other way for you to stay with us forever, I really do.”
I spoke up once I had found my voice. “I know, Rose, so do I.”
I didn’t notice that Jasper and Alice had made their way in while I was buried in Rose’s golden locks of hair. Alice smiled at me and Jasper nodded solemnly, clearly he was taking in the emotions that were radiating through the house. I felt sorry for him.
Alice’s voice was unusually sad. “We just came to make sure that we got a chance to say goodbye, Mary.”
I nodded and Alice leapt up to give me an affectionate hug. “I love you Mary, I just wish you hadn’t been so damn stubborn through all these years.” I could tell her reprimanding was simply her way of showing grief.
Jasper had taken me into his arms once she had let go. “I’m going to miss you, Lou.”
My voice was still thick with tears. “I’ll miss you all too. So, so much.”
Alice tugged Jasper and Rosalie to gather their attention. “Guys, let’s give them a moment.” It was her signal that Emmett had finally mustered his emotions into coming in to see his wife on her death bed.
He waited until they were gone before he walked in slowly and sat on the foot of my bed. I smiled at him and wiped away a few of the remaining tears. “Hey.”
Emmett took my hand and rubbed the top softly. “Mary…” His voice was a somber whisper.
“It’s okay, Em,” I insisted, “I’m okay.”
Emmett knew better. “No you aren’t, I can see it.”
I smiled sadly and sighed, leaning my head onto his shoulder. “Oh, Emmett.”
“I don’t know what I am going to do without you, Mary.” Emmett began, “I really don’t.” There was a pause before he continued. “I had never saw myself falling in love with anyone, and then you came waltzing into my garage that day a totally emotional wreck and as soon as Alice had told me your name, that you were the girl who she had told us all about for decades.
“And Edward, who recognized you straight away as the girl from Alice’s many visions and who had read your thoughts and seen what you had believed to have lived for so long, that you were already in love of me simply by what you saw when your life flashed before you.
“And when we got married and spent those months in Paris as our honeymoon and I had taught you to speak French, despite your every protests. And those moments you spent with Nessie and watching her grow up, knowing that I had deprived you of being a mother.”
I had opened my mouth to protest, but he continued. “But then I realized that you chose to stay with me, you chose to give up so much just because you loved me.”
“I still do, Emmett.” I said, “I always will.”
Emmett placed his cool lips to mine gently before he spoke again. “I can’t tell you what it did to me as I watched you grow old, and watched you grow weaker with every passing year. It killed me, knowing that I was eventually going to lose you, that we would eventually be here.”
“This is where life is supposed to end, Emmett. I am happy with the life you’ve given me.” I answered him firmly. “There isn’t anything I would have done differently.”
“Well there is something I would have.” Emmett said darkly.
“Don’t pity the dead, Emmett, pity the living.” I began, “And most of all pity those who have lived without love. There is nothing to fear about dying, it is only the next adventure.”
“You’re trying to be brave.” Emmett answered.
“No.” I continued, “I’ve just come to terms with humanity.”
“You’re too stubborn for your own good.”
“Are we going to spend our last moments together arguing about my choices?” I asked. “Because that isn’t exactly the way I want to go out of this world.”
Emmett sighed and laid down next to me, giving in. His large hands gently caressed my gray cloud of hair and his yellow eyes beamed into my green ones. I could visibly see the sadness leak into his gaze as he fully realized exactly where this night was going to end.
Seeing his sadness, mine too overwhelmed me, the tears had made their stray down my wrinkled cheeks and my lips trembled. Slowly Emmett steadied them with his own, and I had wondered if it were at all weird for him to be kissing me now as an old woman.
Emmett could see past all the pretenses, all the bravery, and straight into my soul. I was really afraid, but not of death, I was afraid of leaving him and leaving everyone behind.
Slowly I allowed myself to relax into his embrace with a few final sobs. This was it, and I could feel death starting to pull me under, it was a heavy sinking feeling. Sensing those last moments, I opened my mouth to speak my final four words to my husband. “I love you, Emmett.”
The End