We all laugh at something Paul says while we sit in the dining room. It is nice to have the house full of people, friends. This is the first time we have had company over besides Whitney. Jude starts saying something in response to Paul and everyone laughs. Ebony walks around behind us all refiling our drinks.
"Well I think you ought to marry her, Paul. If that rich girl is actually interested in you, you better take her." Whitney says.
"Or she might change her mind and be sensible." Fred laughs, then everyone laughs.
"I don't know, I'm just not ready for it I don't think. Lizzie, I think I want you to meet her." Paul looks at me.
"Paul it wont do you any good if I meet her. If you like her, and she likes you, then of course by all means marry her." I say.
"But I'd still like you to meet her."
Kane goes on to joke with Paul when, suddenly, I feel Jude's arm go around my shoulder and rest on the back of the chair. He's finished eating, and as he sits there he picks up his glass all cool-like and takes a drink. No one even noticed his move. They are all busy finishing eating or laughing with Kane about Paul and his 'girl'.
Later, when we've all gone into the living room again to laze about and talk, Jude sits next to me on one side and Whitney on the other. We're all talking about getting together again like this for Jude's twentieth birthday. "Of course, I'd love to have you all here! We could invite everybody. I've never entertained before, I think it is a great idea." I say smiling. Lenny goes on talking about what everyone would like to eat when Jude sets a hand on my thigh. All of a sudden I feel butterflies in my stomach; but the good kind of butterflies, not the ones that make you feel sick. These butterflies make me feel anxious in an excited way.
Everyone leaves but Lenny, Whitney and Will, saying they'll stay an hour before curfew. Ebony is making his rounds of turning the clocks, and my favorite sound comes from them, singing the half hour warning. "Well, I guess we maybe should head on out." Lenny gets up from his chair. Whitney and Will follow his lead and get up. Jude lifts his hand from my thigh and takes my hand to help me up. I hug Whitney and walk beside her to go out to the car. The three guys follow in suit behind us, and Will goes up to the driver's side to drive home. Whitney opens the passenger's side and turns to me.
"By the way, Lizzie, we need to have another get together soon, at your mama's place. That was fun, right?"
"Yea it was!"
"How about next Monday? I'm free then. I know it's the first of the month but I think we ought to make it a thing we always do."
"Sure! Ha-ha, yea that sounds okay. I think Jude will be alright with it."
Smiling, she g=hugs me again and then gets in. Lenny hugs me and gets in the back of the car, and Jude and I stand beside each other to watch them leave. "I really like them, all of them. They're nice people."
"They are. I'm glad you get along with the friends I've knows for years." Both of us walk into the house and go back to the living room to help bring our cups to the kitchen, but we see Ebony must have already gotten them.
"I'll be off duty now, Master Jude." Ebony walks past the door.
"Alright, good night."
"Night."
Sighing, I smile at Jude and we start walking back to the entry way and up the stairs. We walk down the hallway together and right as I get to the door, Jude turns me around and kisses me. He's still kissing me when he opens the door and closes it behind him. Everything else that happens goes by in a blur. I can't remember who did what or how, but it did. It happened and then some. I never knew all that could transpire between two people when they really care for one another. And I did it. He did it. And I finally said the words I thought I might never say to him. It was dark, a little time after we were done.
I moved close to him and found his ear and said, "I love you."
The next morning I wake up and instantly feel sore. I barely have to move my body for it to ache. Glancing over to Lizzie, she breaths in and moves slightly. Her face is half buried in her pillow, so when she opens her eyes and sees me, her smile can only be seen from her cheeks moving upward. She starts giggling like a little girl.
"Good morning, Lizzie." I smile at her. She breaths in and moves her head to where one of her hands hold up her head.
"Morning." She smiles back. The two of us just stare at each other and share the mutual feeling of last night. "Ugh, I ache just to breath!" she plummets her face down. "UGHH!" her muffled groan makes me laugh. That sort of hurts as well. "OH MY GOSH, no one said it would hurt like this afterwords!"
"You've talked about this?"
Her head shoots up. She gives me a look and says, "Have you forgotten the whole past month of everyone joking about us being together?"
I put my arms around her and bring her close to me. "You've made me forget everything." I kiss her and as I bring her close to me under the blankets, I remember she's no mas pantalones. We kiss a little while longer until the clocks tell us it is the next hour.
"I should probably call your father and let him know I wont be coming for training today."
"Just don't show up." She rolls her eyes playfully. She takes both sides of my face in her hands and kisses me. "Today and everyday I want to be completely yours."
I can't think of anything but Lizzie for days. Whenever I'm at meetings or trainings or even just away from her, I'm constantly thinking of her. At night we love each other, and sometimes during the day, too. I had no idea I could feel this way towards her, towards anybody. But it makes it even harder keeping this secret from her. I long so bad to tell her about the Allegiance. Sometimes I get enough courage to tell her, but when I think it over of what her response might be, she will hate my every being for not telling her the truth from the very start of our marriage.
And when I think of that, it almost kills my very soul. To think of Lizzie hating me so much that she despises my entire being brings me to a sudden feeling of fear more fierce than I ever felt during the Occurrence. And that is the whole reason I got into this mess- because of the Occurrence. It really will be the death of me. Either I die from some cause, or I die from losing Lizzie. I would much rather die for the Allegiance and keeping her safe than die from being left to myself without having her beside me every night. So that is what keeps me going, covering up every single thing about the Allegiance so that she never finds out.
"Liiiizzieeee!" Whitney runs through the house to find me.
"In here!" I yell from the bedroom. I hear her footsteps coming up to the second floor and she bursts in. "What?"
"Call me crazy, but today I had the sudden feeling of Will being attractive."
I look at her with a smile, thinking of what Jude told me. "Oh really?"
"Yea, and I find it most unfortunate since I have planned to never love again for all eternity!"
"Nicely done putting that Pride and Prejudice quote in there. But if you like him, talk to him."
"I do talk to him! But I don't really like him, I just thought his butt looked cute today."
"Understandable."
"What?"
"Nothing." I say quickly. Whitney nods her head and sits down on the floor.
"So how are you and Jude?"
"Fine."
"Fine? What does this mean?"
"I don't know, we're good?"
Whitney's eyes widen and she screams, getting up and running to me. She throws her arms around me and continues screaming until I try to settle her down. "You two did it! I can tell!!"
"How?"
"Ah! So you did!"
"How could you tell?"
"Well," she smirks, "I saw your pregnancy test box on the counter over there." Whitney points behind her where I left the box that holds the tests.
"Good eye, Whitney."
"So-"
"No, I'm not telling you anything."
"-are you pregnant?"
"We've only done it about a week now, Whitney."
"Lizzie, did I ever tell you I've been pregnant before?"
"You have?"
"Yep. It only took about half a week, too. Georgia, the sick wife I told you about, was still alive when I was pregnant with her husbands child."
"Eck, that's so weird. I'm so sorry you went through all that."
"Yea, and it wasn't the first time I was preggo either. But he beat me so many times the babies were all miscarried."
"What about that first one?"
"Well I didn't tell anyone about it! So after she died it was almost a month in before he beat it to death. I swear, I thought I was the one going to die."
My brows are furrowed at what she tells me. How terribly awful. "I'm so, so sorry."
"Yea, well, at least the guy wasn't old or ugly. I probably would have killed myself if he was. But... ugh, I don't know. He was a good looking man, but way, way older than me."
"Change of subject, dearest, have you had lunch?"
"No, and I'm starving! I came here on the off chance that you hadn't eaten."
"And to tell me about your sudden attraction to Will."
"Little attraction. Only a little!" We walk downstairs together and go to the kitchen to find something to eat. Soon, Jude, Lenny, Will and Patrick walk into the house. They find us eating soup on the couches in the living room watching some historic channel on TV. Boring as heck.
"Well you girls beat us to the kitchen, it seems." Jude laughs.
"Did you eat all of the- oh, just kidding. You're eating soup. That is a woman's food, not a man's." Lenny sticks his nose in the air.
"Oh well there's still some on the stove in there if you want some, Lenny. Boys, there's meat in the fridge." I point to the direction of the kitchen.
"Ha, ha. You're funny, sis. Very funny."
Jude walks over to me and bends down to give me a kiss. When he leaves, I glance over to Whitney. She's giving me the funniest glance I've ever seen! "He only kissed me!" I whisper.
"Yea, well what else was he supposed to do to his seductive wifey?"
"Am I seductive?" I glance down at my body, my clothes. Actually, I'm in sweat pants and a regular old t-shirt.
"Guys love it when their woman wears their shirts."
"Am I-" I look down and, sure enough, I'm wearing one of Jude's t-shirts. Both of us laugh uncontrollably.