It was a ferocious pounding on the front door that had graciously awakened me this time - at least I knew it wasn't Beth, she would have just strolled in. The thud that echoed around the seemingly empty flat should have perhaps been cause for alarm, but the logical part of me knew that if it was Devon or any other Red - like Beth - they wouldn't have had the courtesy to knock.
I rolled over and glanced at the clock on my phone.
Half past eleven was a ridiculous, I was practically sleeping my summer away.
Despite the persistent knocking I lay back onto my bed, feeling as though I was forgetting something, something of unshakable importance. Perplexed but still so easily distracted, I glanced at the curtains idly flapping in the morning breeze.
The window was open? The window was never open.
Then it came to me; Tom had been here. But surely it had had to have been a dream. Tom couldn't have been in my room last night; it wasn't possible, though I could still smell the alcohol that had clung to him.
He must have been here.
The savage knocking on the door still filled the flat with increasing booms. I sighed, Ross, Mum and Jackson must have gone out again, leaving me without though it seemed.
Perhaps it was social services and I was being rescued.
The kitchen, as I walked past it, left no clues as to the whereabouts of my family and there was no note tacked to any surface as far as I knew. Mum must've been really peeved if I wasn't even worth a scribble on a sticky note.
The only testament to my family's disappearance was the bare coat hook Ross's coat usually hung on and the empty space where Jackson and my mum's shoes usually sat. All that was left was a pair of my worn trainers looking miserable and lonely.
Not surprised by this I went sleepily across the hall and opened the door and peered through. I should maybe have been cautious, the visitor had sounded angry but common sense was not my forte.
Before I could even see who it was I was knocked back into the wall. Kieran streaked in, rage in his eyes.
What the hell was all this about?
Unamused as Kieran turned to face me I swaggered towards him, hands on hips. He was about to say something when I raised a single finger to his lips, shot him a grumpy look and marched back to my room.
"Hey don't walk away from me Christine!" he shouted. I rolled my eyes and slammed my bedroom door in his face. "Hey-hey!" Kieran pushed the door back, stunned from having it in his face in the first place, and confronted me. Unfortunately for him I'd already buried myself beneath the covers.
"Go away and come back when I'm feeling more sociable and you have unknotted the pants you seem to have gotten in a twist," I instructed. He paced my room, making his frustrations known in his primal grunts.
"Come on Christine get out of there," Kieran ordered.
"Why don't you get out, this is my house!" I wasn't sure whether what I was saying was muffled or not but I was too tired to care. I wasn't ready to get up just yet so unless the sky was falling I was too tired to care.
"Don't make me come and get you."
"Oh I'm so scared. Why don't you bite me Indigo boy?" I now was sure I could hear his foot tapping impatiently on my floor. I bit my lip and my eyes roamed the darkness of the underworld of my duvet.
I blinked and then he was there, beside me. His eyes searched mine, full of thunder storms, full of worry and something else something I couldn't quite put my finger on.
"One of them has been here. One of them has been here, with you." Kieran was restraining himself.
His muscles were tensed and his anger leashed. I shakily raised my hand and brushed the strands of hair out of his eyes. He didn't move, his eyes never straying from my face. He wanted an answer and he wanted it now. I could see it was tormenting every fibre of his being; his body was bristling. He reminded me of a small child somehow, timid and naive and overwhelmed by his own tantrum. I placed my hands tenderly on his face and gazed at him.
"Nate was here, it was Nate," I whispered. His body relaxed but still his eyes were anxious, demented.
"I needed him to tell me it was all going to be OK."
"Nothing is ever, ever going to happen to you. Not while I'm here. You should know that." He pulled me close, my hands still on his face. "You should know that," he repeated, kissing my forehead and gliding territorially down my face. I felt my pulse quicken and my breaths trip over one another. I pushed him off me and curled myself up into a ball. Kieran rolled me so I was moulded into his chest.
"That's the thing, you weren't there. Devon could have taken me Kieran, right there." Kieran stiffened again. I froze. "Did you not know that?" Kieran didn't answer but remained still, lifeless.
"What did you think I was talking about?" I pressed, holding him to me.
"Jessica didn't say anything about Devon." he replied through gritted teeth. I looked at the lines of his hands that were tucked around me.
"He was here, in the Princes Street Gardens I mean."
"What happened?" His words were clipped like they were bitter in his mouth.
"I was with Jude and Beth and Mandy in the park and we were just watching some boys play football. Nothing looked particularly abnormal about them - they were just your average lads. But then they kicked their ball our way and one of them came over for it, running into me. When I looked at his face it-it changed right there." I twisted myself in his arms and stared into his eyes.
"It was Devon, I'd recognise those eyes, those vengeful eyes anywhere –I know it." I could feel panic I'd promised never be made the best of brewing. "But Jessica was there all of a sudden. I'd smelt her before but she just...appeared." It all made sense in my mind but judging by the look Kieran's face I might as well have been talking gibberish.
"She couldn't have been I mean...she...I...but she was with me until she..." Realisation swept across his face. He shut his eyes and exhaled deeply. "Jessica has this sort of sixth sense. She knows when something's wrong. Vince said she apparently just took off after muttering something to herself. She must've felt something wasn't right."
"Then why did you come home? How did you know?"
"I didn't, we finished up early. What Michael and Vince had assumed would be a long haul only turned out to be something small and blown out of proportion, by Red of course. I came here as soon as I got home but I knew there was something not quite right. You may not believe me but it was almost as if I could sense them. I can feel them, smell them – the Reds I mean. They're just always there." Kieran's seemed possessed right in front of my eyes; his secret torment writhing its way to the surface, infiltrating his mind, his soul and his eyes.
"I don't mean to jump to conclusions or act like I don't trust you Chris, but I just could've sworn one of them was here. The atmosphere in your house just doesn't feel right. I don't know what's worse, knowing a Red was here or the fact I could be losing my mind." There were dark, haunting shadows beneath Kieran's eyes and worry lines carved deeply into his face. I reached up, running my thumbs lightly along the curves of his cheek bones. His troubled eyes clung to mine like a small child to their mother's hand.
"You are not mad Kieran. You're right, Nate was here. I needed to know what was going on with Devon, what was happening. I'm glad I did because Devon's gone rouge or something."
"Rouge? What do you mean rouge?" Kieran questioned. It was amazing how quickly Kieran was able to drop the distressed facade and become consumed by anger at the mere mention of a name.
"I mean he isn't following orders; lone wolf kind of thing."
"But that would mean the ties will be cut. Red wouldn't have a rogue on his side; it would weaken his defences, his strategic." Kieran threw back my covers and jumped over me to pace the floor once again. I sighed, glaring at the wall. I guessed the intimate moment - however bizarre it had been – was over.
"I mean this never, ever happens. What we do and who we do it with is based on loyalty, something that is not simply...broken." I propped myself up so I could watch him figure out the complexities of it all while his feet scuffed trenches into my floor. His brow was furrowed in deep concentration. Kieran raked his hand through knotted mess of hair and continued to trudge back and forth.
"This is Devon we're talking about. Stranger things have happened." I shrugged not seeing how abandoning loyalties could make such an impact on things, such an impact on me.
"That's the thing. Stranger things haven't happened. When we die and are chosen for the 'cause' we have a binding contract of loyalty. I don't quite know why, I wasn't there when the rules were written. How Devon has managed to break such a sacred thing is beyond me...I mean once...but no that wasn't an issue of loyalty." He paused, pinching his temples and massaging them. "It just doesn't make any sense," Kieran grunted, slamming his hand into my wardrobe. It shuddered, giving a winded creak. I frowned.
"Perhaps there's something greater than loyalty that's dividing Red and Devon. Is there anything more valued in life than loyalty? And would you please not take this out on my furniture?" Kieran peered at me peculiarly then. I wasn't sure if he was bemused by my perception on things or the fact I'd challenged him about bullying my wardrobe. Before I could find out his puzzlement or he could say anything further someone burst through my bedroom door.
Andrea stumbled in as if she'd travelled in by tornado. She shook her hair, eyes crossed and her body completely disorientated. With great elegance, however, she composed herself before she hurried over to my bedside and checked me over. Over Andrea's shoulder I saw Jessica and Mack enter.
Luckily for me I was still in my clothes from the night before and they weren't as undignified as some of my stowed away pyjamas.
"Feeling any better?" Jessica asked. Kieran shot her an angry look as she strolled, apparently non the wiser, to my bedside. Surely I was not the only one felt the sudden chill in the room?
"I'm absolutely fine thanks to you." I said, seeing Kieran glower at Jessica in the corner on my eye.
Despite his age, Kieran could be such a child. "I'm sure Devon was more than unimpressed with your intervention." Jessica snorted, rather pleased with herself none the less.
"I'll get tha' bastard. Who does 'e 'hink 'e is?"Mack grumbled from my doorway.
"Mind your language," Kieran muttered curtly.
"Sorry Kieran, I could'nae 'hink of a worse word." Mack leant casually, as he'd done that first day at the school gate, against my door. Kieran shook his head and went into a world all of his own, barriers flung up as high as they could go; he was not a happy bunny. Andrea on the other hand was running her slender finger along the spines of my tattered and much loved books, smiling away quite happily to herself.
"The reason we're here is to offer you an invitation," Jessica began, capturing my attention once more. "Andrea and I would like to take you on a little...road trip shall we say?" I wasn't sure what I had been expecting, but it wasn't that.
"Oh here we go." Kieran groaned, taking to leaning against the wardrobe he'd hit.
"Excuse me Mr. Cynical but isn't there anything more productive you could be doing right about now?" Jessica retorted coolly. I looked from her to Kieran, puzzled. Kieran sighed, raising his hands in surrender.
"Fine, I'm going but at least give me a moment with Chris; alone." Jessica shrugged and pulled Andrea and Mack from the room. Andrea waved, not too fazed by the fact she was being dragged backwards by the collar of her shirt.
I got to my feet and held my arms around myself.
"You have to leave? But you just got back." Kieran idled over, his face lost in mine. "But you just got b-" I was gently cut off by the welcoming touch of Kieran's lips. They were soft and cool against my own and oh how I wanted for more. "Please, please don't leave me again," I gasped between kisses. I was filled with a chilling but enticing sensation through every bit of my body and it only made me want to hold on tighter.
This was the safest place, a feeling of home that couldn't be bought or sold.
"I'll try my best to be back tomorrow but I can't promise. Andrea and Jessica and maybe even Sophia are planning to take you away for the day while Mack does a quick patrol for Devon. As long as there are people around you it is unlikely Devon will take you." I hid my face and weakness in his shirt. He couldn't see how this tore me apart - his absence more felt somewhere deep inside every time he took it.
"Don't come and find me in your sleep, you've got enough to deal with," Kieran ordered, kissing the top of my forehead before turning to leave the room. I wasn't able, whether he liked it or not, to promise that.
Perhaps you just don't like taking orders, Evans.
"Bye," I whispered to Kieran's turned back. His broad shoulders tense a moment and I physically felt his desires to stay, to pull me into his arms once more. But Kieran was stronger than me and he had a job to do.
Kieran shut the door and I stood waiting, waiting for one of the others to come in and make me remember it wasn't just Kieran and me in the ever spinning world. I couldn't hear any approaching footsteps come up the hall and so took a moment to compose myself. For no apparent reason I shut my eyes, inhaled deeply and span. When I felt I was spinning fast enough I opened my eyes to see the world blur. The world seemed a better place when there was no sense. I just needed a second to get lost and breathe.
In and out, just like Kieran.
In and out, here and there, absent and present - that was all we really were; a relationship of comings and goings all muddled in one big blur.
Being clumsy Chris, I didn't see the stranded shoe on the floor and with one final spin I fell right over it.
The fool Evans, your role in the peculiar relationship of girl and Indigo.
"Ow-ow-ow," I muttered, clutching my elbow and rolling round on the floor in pain. The next time, should common sense report for duty, I would clear my floor before choosing to spin spontaneously in circles.
Preoccupied in wriggling around on the floor, I didn't hear the hurried footsteps and the bang as the door hit my bedroom wall.
"Wit yae daein doon there?" Mack chuckled as the three Indigo's angled their heads to get a better look at the expression on my face.
"Searching for four leaf cloves," I mumbled. Could the gaffing, bear of a man not see I was in pain? I felt a familiar chill as Andrea and Jessica's arms curled beneath mine and they helped me to my feet.
"Ouch yer a funny lass." I made a face and brushed myself down.
"I try." We grinned at each other with a new and much welcomed friendliness. If make a fool of myself won me some friends, I was more than happy to comply.
"Andrea's wondering if the floor is alright," Jessica said, nudging me and winking at Mack. Andrea was inspecting the carpet before she looked up at me. She bent down and sympathetically stroked the floor.
"I'm sure the carpet in this flat has seen far worse things than my butt and that's saying something." Jessica cocked a brow, intrigued.
"How so?" A sly and saucy smirk shadowed her face.
"Long story, too many details and so little time," I muttered, recalling the smell that used to linger in every room, the smell that clung to my clothing when I was still learning to tie my shoes laces and when I first went to school. The house of Evans had once been a den of the criminal kind until Ross had given it a little tender loving care.
"Gid job we 'av the whole 'o eternity," Mack snorted. I actually flinched, me, thick skinned and happy to take as much as she gave. What was the meaning of it?
"Yup...I know that." I bashfully fiddled with my creased top, hating how his harmless jibe had affected me so. Of course I knew Kieran and his "family" wouldn't age as I would. Kieran had promised me that despite my mortal body aging his love for me wouldn't. I couldn't, however, keep him from being the man I knew he was. He couldn't promise the world when it could and would offer him a greater destiny than an eighty nine year old woman, with false teeth and a fading memory could.
"Good job Einstein," Jessica murmured. Mack shrugged, not appearing aware of the sensitivity of the situation. I couldn't blame him - I was being ridiculous. I felt a small and cool hand slip into mine. Andrea smiled at me, sensing my self-absorbed concern and with nothing more than a small nod, assured me it was OK, that she understood somehow.
"It's fine, honestly. Mack wasn't to know and it doesn't matter, facts are facts and I might as well face them." I confessed confidently. This was nothing worth wasting their time or breath on, I was capable of looking after myself.
"Even so..," Jessica said, crossing her arms. Mack winked at me, grateful for perhaps diffusing an unnecessary situation.
"Anyway - back to the reason for us so rudely intruding," Jessica began. "We thought it would be a good idea for you to get out of town for a day. Andrea and I think you'd enjoy visiting the place where Kieran grew up. You can totally say no but we thought it was a good idea."
Kieran never really talked of his previous life – skimming details now and then on trivial occasions. It was something that I'd always wondered about but didn't feel was my place to challenge him on. I knew the him of now and not of then.
But still, I was irrepressibly curious.
Who was this man and how had Indigo changed him?
"I think it's a wonderful idea but-"
"There's always is a but, isn't there." My but was genuine though. It wasn't a big issue and could easily be resolved if not for my pride.
"I'm not sure my mum will let me. I'm not exactly in her good books at the moment." Jessica gave out a rather unexpectedly, unladylike laugh. I faltered, frowning.
"Oh is that it?" She gnashed her teeth. "One adopts a trade from time to time in this immortal life, law was a particular favourite of mine." Jessica examined her nails and peered at me from beneath her lashes. "I think I can handle your mother."
"If you can convince my mum then I'd love to go but I-"
Almost as though someone was trailing a finger of ice down my back, I felt a sudden chill. It was too strange for words, winding me a moment. There was something very wrong and in a second measured only by a blink of an eye I saw my father's face and I knew I needed to go to him.
"Chris, are you OK?" Jessica asked, peering at my questionably and bringing her hand to my hunched shoulder. I nodded, biting my lip and determining what was logical and what was not in the feeling I had.
"Yes I'm fine...I.." I gripped my head and frowned before gathering my composure. "I mean what I was saying was I would love to go with you but I have something I need to do this afternoon."
I felt as though someone was clenching my gut, manipulating my insides and coaxing me into a state of unexplainable panic. Was this a warning?
Ignorant to the tribulation that had seized me, Jessica shrugged off her concern and smiled.
"We were thinking of going tomorrow anyway," Jessica said, as Andrea signed. "What was it you were planning to do?" She asked no longer looking at Andrea's quick fingers. "Forgive me for prying but Kieran asked for us to keep an eye on you in the meantime."
I understood and, while I couldn't put my finger on the peculiar feeling I had inside, I was grateful for their company.
The urgency that gripped me was no belittling matter. I need to see my dad, now.
"I had intended to visit my father this afternoon, it was why the rest of my family left me here by myself." I hoped it wasn't in the Indigo's nature to detect a liar because right now, I was being a jolly good one. I tried not to be to pressing in my assessment of each Indigo but they were sharp and I needed some indication of whether or not I was going to get away with my tale.
"Well sure. Would you like a lift? I mean it's not as if we've got anything better to do." Jessica said, showing brilliance in her translation of Andrea's signing as opposed to suspicion. I licked my lips, glad to have gotten away with my deceit.
"If you're sure but I'd have to ask that you didn't come in," I replied. "My dad isn't good with strangers, it's unfortunately a side effect of his illness," I admitted, awaiting the usual interrogation that followed such statements.
"We wid'nae want tae intrude Chris," Mack said. I hoped none of them read into the relief that followed, perhaps too great for the privacy I'd asked for and telling of my distress. But still, there seemed to be no cause for worry in any of their faces.
"In that case a life would be much appreciated, thank you." The Indigo's smiled and readied themselves to depart.
"Perfect! We will stay in the car whilst you have your visit Christine and then afterwards we will come back here and I'll convince your mother that a little road trip will do you good. I have a way with mothers, Michael always said so." Smugly Jessica began for the door, holding it suggestively open for me. I hesitated, curling my fingers into the cuffs of my sleeves bashfully.
"Umm I hate to be a pain but eh-"
"Wit now wee wan?" Mack grunted as I was raining on his parade. He quite camply placed his hands on his hands and studied me. I cringed a little, raising a purposeful finger.
"I-uh think it would be wise to get dressed first. I'm just saying." Mack, Jessica and Andrea looked me up and down. My creased top and smelly trousers weren't fit to be seen let alone smelt.
"I 'hink you look gid the way ye' are, I like the whole just oot of bed look." Mack licked his lips and winked at me. Andrea rolled her eyes and strolled out of the room.
"Although I hate to admit it, Michael would have said the exact same thing. Typical males, that's all I can say," Jessica muttered. "We'll give you some time to freshen up." She smiled before turning rather aggressively to Mack and marching him down the hallway.
Alone once more, I tried not to laugh at the peculiar spectacle of the Indigos. They really were something else and for the briefest of moments I wondered...wondered what it might be like to be one.
Be careful what you wish for, Evans.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
So, road trip anyone? What do you think lies in store for Indigo's girl? Why do you think she didn't say anything about Tom to Kieran?
As always, thank you so much for reading and I would love to know what you think. I apologise if the formatting is a little weird, Wattpad was acting up while I was editing but I hope it's resolved itself now!
What are you hoping to see as the book progresses and which book do you prefer so far, Do You Know Indigo? or We Who Are Jaded?
Lots of love my lovely Indies.
Bekah x