* Jessica's POV*
I woke up at the sound of my alarm clock, and when I checked, it was 8 a.m. I quickly got up from my bed and rushed to bathroom so I could be ready for college. I was combing my hair when I suddenly felt my hand still, remembering about the chocolates. Walking over to the balcony, I noticed the small box sitting smack dab in the middle.
He thought after all this, I would accept it? To Hell with it. Closing the balcony door, I walked back into the bathroom and continued to brush through all the knots.
After few minutes, I grabbed all of my hair, pulling it over my right shoulder as I began to braid it. When I was done, I snuck a glance at the mirror doing a look over before grabbing my things, and I began to rush towards the university not wanting to be late for my classes.
As soon as I arrived, I ran towards the main building. I went to pull the doors open but someone opened it from the inside preventing me from going in. Max stood in front of me, and he looked down at my smaller figure with a nonchalant expression.
"Get the hell out of my way, Max, or I'll be late," I mumbled, angrily attempting to push him aside.
"We need to talk, now," he spoke softly, as he still refused to move an inch.
"Don't tell me what to do. Now, move before I start screaming," I hissed, crossing my arms as I sent him a glare.
"Okay, start screaming," he said, challenging me as he began to examine his nails.
"Are you nuts? Do you want me to scream and create a scene?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "Because, I will in a heartbeat."
"No, I just want to talk to you." He sighed as he shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. "But if you want it this way, then fine, do it," he added.
I should scream.
I should right this instant, but all I could do was purse my lips slightly.
Dammit.
He knows that I won't- no, can't do that. Maybe old Jessica would love to do that, would even beg to, but guess what?
She doesn't exist anymore.
Thanks to this jerk!
"So?" Max interrupted the chain of my thoughts.
"Can't you get it? I don't want to talk to you. Just leave me alone," I spat out.
"I'll leave you alone, but first listen to me," he begged. "Please."
The pleading in his voice was enough to melt my heart.
"Fine, I'll talk to you after class. Now, move," I replied and bit my lip.
I shouldn't agree to do this, but I knew as soon as the words left my mouth, I sealed the deal.
His face lit up.
"Fair enough." He nodded and walked aside giving me space. "After you," he added bowing like a gentleman.
Ha, more like an idiot.
"This isn't over yet, Max," I spoke menacingly, glaring at him.
"Oh, don't worry. I'll make sure of it." He smirked, winking at me as I just huffed, stomping past him trying to make it to class on time.
My classes so far have passed by like a blur, due to the fact I wasn't listening to the professors as they continued to blab on and on... My mind was replaying all the events from the last few days. Our coffee date, his sweetness when he took me to eat Indian food, his reckless behavior, his scary nature, punching the wall and the dripping of his blood, and the kiss... the damn kiss. I couldn't deny the fact that I still shivered whenever I thought about his lips colliding with mine.
Ah! Stop it, Jazz. You need to control your emotions.
But how could I control those stupid emotions?
They couldn't be controlled!
There is a famous quote:
We might be the master of our own thoughts, still we are the slaves of our own emotions.
But I can't allow them to make my life more difficult.
All this intense thinking was causing my head to hurt. I laid my head down on the desk, hoping the professor wouldn't notice. I was really missing Mahi.
Class ended and I was the first one to rush outside. The reason was to avoid Max. I hurriedly went towards my next class, looking around. I couldn't talk with him, not at least in this state of mind.
"Looking for me?" a voice came behind me.
Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.
I mentally cursed myself for being not noticing him approach as I turned around facing the cocky-son-of-a- bitch.
"Of course, I'd love to devote every second of my day so I could be by your side and converse with you." My voice dripped with sarcasm, and I rolled my eyes at him.
"Well, damn, I must be a genie because I'm about to grant you that wish." He gave me a cheeky smile and sent me a flirty wink.
Damn!
I pushed down a smile, keeping a straight face.
"Yeah, in your dreams," I retorted, shaking my head.
"Ouch, you wound my ego," he put his hand to his heart, as an ersatz look of pain came over his face. I rolled my eyes in response, as he offered a hand. "Shall we?"
I gave him death glare. "Don't test my patience, Max. Spit it out and leave me."
"You want an audience?" he asked pointing towards some girls who were whispering and snickering. When they noticed our gaze, they froze and paled before whispering quieter than before.
I sighed, "Fine, but I get to decide where we go." I wouldn't want him taking me anywhere where he could touch me.
"Do you think I'll--" he started, but I quickly interrupted him.
"Yes, now let's go, before I change my mind," I started walking away, not bothering to wait for him. He called out for me to wait, but I didn't. Sadly, he eventually caught up.
We walked off campus, and I still couldn't come up with the place where I should talk to him. The reason was simple: the city was still unfamiliar to me as I was not a going-out type person.
"Where to?" Max asked, looking around.
"Twenty-five minutes."
"What?" he asked looking confused.
"You have twenty-five minutes, until I reached the dorm. Speak," I said and started heading towards my dorm.
When I realized he wasn't following me, I stopped and turned around. "Are you coming or not?" I asked, looking at his confused face.
"Yeah, of course," he mumbled, catching up with me.
I started walking again, but quickly so I could reach there soon and get rid of him.
"I want to apologize for my behavior. I didn't mean to hurt you," he began and looked at me for any response. But, when I didn't say anything he continued, "I know. I really messed up this time, but please, forgive me."
I continued walking without uttering a single word. I wouldn't fall for his trap, again. I have had enough. It was now time to take control over everything. I needee to apologize to Noah first. I had hurt him badly today.
Again, thanks a lot, Max.
But the thing that was annoying me was why on the Earth did I touch his hand? What came over me to behave like that?
Jealousy.
Of course not. Max and his flirtatious behavior didn't affect me in any way.
"Um, Jessica?" I snapped out of my thoughts, hearing out him calling my name.
"Yeah?"
"Am I forgiven?" He smiled, hopefully.
I stopped, realizing the dorm was just one-minute away. I turned towards him, crossing my arms over the chest. My blood boiled and anger rushed throughout my entire body.
"Do you think I'm just a toy to you? That you can just come anytime and start behaving all sweetly? That you can just take me out to lunch, and then you just... just disappear without even informing me? And then, suddenly you appear out of nowhere, started behaving like an asshole again, flirting with some random chicks and punched that damn wall for God's knows why? After that, you suddenly decided to just buy me chocolates? Because you think I'm just that easy to play with?" I was shouting at the top of my lungs, and when I finished my rant, I took a deep breath. "And then, you dared to kiss me, again. Why Max, why?" My voice cracked at the end.
He didn't said anything. His eyes softened and he tried to touch my shoulder but I pushed him back flinching. His eyes filled with fear at the movement.
"Stay away from me. I don't want you here. Haven't I told you to leave me alone countless times?" I yelled again, throwing my hands in the air with anger. Max's eyes were filled with fear but I couldn't fathom why.
"Jessica, please, listen!-" he tried but I stopped him.
"No, you listen, Mr. Max Hasington. I have had enough! Now, please leave me the hell alone if you know what's good for you!" I ordered before storming off.
I couldn't even hold in the tears.
I was crying, and the thing is, I didn't know the reason.
I was hurt, and the thing is, I didn't know the reason.
I wanted to go back, and the thing is, I didn't know the reason.
I wanted to let him chase me, and the thing is, I didn't know the reason.
I wanted to give him a chance, but the thing is, I didn't want another heartbreak.
It's better to break your own heart by leaving, rather than having that person break your heart everyday you're with them.
One of the worst things about going through the pain that comes with heartbreak... is the thought that the person you're crying over-may even feel as though you're dying over-is off enjoying themselves, and are not the least bit concerned, and could care less about the pain you're going through.
I still remember the day when he broke my heart. The wounds are still so fresh.
Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest, and it opens up your heart, and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all those defences, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... you give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase like 'you're not my type' or 'we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-your-apart pain.
I didn't hate love, but I just hated the idea of being in love with someone.
I could pretend that I hated Max, but deep down at the bottom of my heart, I knew, what I felt for Max was something... different.
But it wasn't hate.
It was... something more.
I could feel my insides sink.
My knees too.
So, I sat on the floor, against the wall.
I thought I had already experienced the worst thing-heartbreak
But this pain is unbearable .
The pain in my chest and the ache behind my eyes.
And to top above all, knowing the fact that things will never be the same, again.
Whatever the things are, I need to control everything. I wasted way too much time crying over people who didn't give a damn about me.
Now, just stop it. Stop everything!
****
How was the chapter?
Emotional?
I used few quotes (Google) to explain the heartbreak as I'm not good in these things... I tried my best but if you want to see more or you have better options please don't hesitate to inform me.
Don't forget to vote and comment.
Happy Reading!