Bee
I watched as Lola walked away, her mood had changed in the last half hour or so. It had been fun learning the lines with her. From the moment I met here I knew that there wouldn't be a dull day with her; apparently I was right. Lola seemed to be able to make me smile and laugh when I wasn't exactly in the mood to be lively.
I had been surprised when I saw her standing beneath my window. It had been a pleasant surprise, though. I hadn't invited her over in all these months because I knew that my family wasn't going to like the fact that she's a lesbian. My mom would probably just tell me to be careful but other than that she wouldn't mind at all. However, I knew for a fact that Raul was a homophone. I had heard him talk about a gay coworker of his and the way he expressed his hate for the man made me want to keep Lola at bay of his hatred.
I sat on my bed, thinking about what had happened while Lola was here. It had been the first time she had come to my house but it had felt as if she came constantly. The time we spent in my room just goofing around had felt so natural. I mean whenever Tammy comes over we end up talking about Memo or about the guys in school. She always wants to know who likes her in school.
When Memo comes over we don't spend time in my room. I know what he wants and I really want to avoid such situations. He gets mad at times because he wants to be alone with me but I really don't want to. It may be something fucked up with me, but the thought of being alone with him makes me shudder. It's perhaps my own opinion but men are men in the end and they've got urges.
I shook my head and took a deep breath. Every time my mind headed that way, I always ended up with a headache. Tammy had asked me time and time again why was it that kept me from jumping Memo's bones and I never knew what to tell her. No one knew about what had happened with my stepfather, not even Monica, and no one would ever know. It was a secret I'd be taking to my grave, most likely.
"Ah, enough of these bad thoughts," I wiped my forehead from the sudden cold shiver and took over my body.
I heard the front door downstairs close and I walked down the stairs and towards the kitchen. I had expected to find my mom with many bags of groceries and my little sister pestering for a chocolate bar or an ice cream cone, but instead I found myself face to face with the man who ruined my life.
"Hey, there Beatriz," Raul smirked as he placed his phone and wallet on the kitchen table.
I glared and took a step back, feeling the urge to run upstairs as fast as my legs could take me. However, I was forgetting that my stepfather was faster than me because the moment I had turned around to leave he had me by the hair and was pulling me towards the living room.
"Let me go! My mom's going to be home soon!" I fought against him hitting him with my fists every time I got the chance to swing at him.
Raul chuckled, "Why are you acting like you don't like it, Beatriz?"
I growled, "Dejame ir, hijo de puta!" I jumped on the couch and took the surprised look on his face to my advantage and swung my leg back, hitting him on the stomach. He took a step back and let go of me to hold his beer belly and I took this as my chance and took off for the stairs.
"Maldita perra!" I heard him yell and I felt my heart thundering in my chest. Oh why did my room have to be in the second floor?!
I was on the last step and instead of seeing my door I was face to face with the carpet. He had reached me in time and pulled my foot before I could run for my room. Raul turned me around and I started kicking for dear life. I had been only twelve when he molested me and now I was seventeen, the hell I was going to go down without a fight.
Mom, please hurry home.
"Stop fighting it, Beatriz! It's all in vain," he laughed as he grabbed my legs and pulled me down; my lower back hitting the step quite painfully. He was trying to pull off my jeans but I kept kicking and my foot made contact with his jaw sending him back and down the few steps.
My body was running on adrenaline by now, tears streamed down my cheeks, and my legs could move fast enough. Why had my mom decided to go to the store so close to the time her husband would be coming home? My sister should have been home by now, where the fuck was she?! I crawled away, sobs making my breathing ragged, and made it through the first open door I came to.
It was my sister room and another round of painful sobs went through me filled with despair; my sister's room didn't have a lock.
I looked around the room, full on crying now. Damn it why had my mom taken the lock off my sister's door? The room was the same size as mine but without the balcony by the window. April's room was sort of like a little girl's with the canopy bed and the net on top of it. Damn it!
"Beatriz!"
I heard him yell my name and the sound of his footsteps made my heart stop painfully. Shit! I looked around the room once again. I would never fit under the bed or in the drawers. Hiding behind her door wouldn't work either and jumping out the window would only make me hurt myself. I looked at the closet and took a deep breath as I opened the door and crawled inside. Bad memories came to me and I shook my head, covered my mouth so my sobbing wouldn't be heard, and tried to slow down my breathing.
I heard the door to April's room slam shut and fear crept into the pit of my stomach. No, God, please don't let him find me.
"I know you're in here, Bee... Quit hiding, amor mio." I heard him walk around the room and the sound of things being moved around had me biting my tongue and closing my eyes shut tight.
"Come one, love, no seas asi..." he opened the closet's door and looked down at me. The evil smile on his lips had been shaking on the spot as fresh tears streamed down. I was numb, frozen where I sat.
"P-please..." I begged in vain for he grabbed me by the arms and pulled me out. I screamed and kicked but this time it was different. When he slapped me across the face three times and threw me against the boudoir I knew it was over. My head hit against the wooden counter and I winced; my vision became blurry and he took advantage of that.
The feeling of my jeans being pulled off and his hands running up my legs made me want to vomit but I held it in. I looked away, feeling drowsy and giving up. I gasped and cried out loud when I felt him enter me and no matter how much I kept hitting him with my hands the thrusting never stopped.
"Let... let me go," I cried out as I felt his hands tighten around my neck as his thrusting became faster and his groaning became louder. Mom, where the hell are you; I thought as I felt him go still, grunt time and time again, and slump down on top of me.
I curled on my side and held my sides as I cried silently onto the carpet. I heard him move around and the sound of her belt being buckled made my stomach queasy all over again. He kneeled next to me and caressed my hair but I flinched away. Raul laughed as he opened the door and closed it behind him. I cried louder and cursed my life as I curled up on the floor.
A few minutes later after my sobbing had calmed down a bit, I sat up and pulled on my jeans; wincing every time I had to open my legs. I stood up and took a deep breath and opened the door. I looked down the hallway and could hear the soft murmur of the television and snoring from the living room. I slowly made my way to my room, closed the door behind me and locked it. I slid down the door and cried until I couldn't cry anymore.
A knock on my door scared me awake, when had I gotten on my bed?
"Mija, it's time for dinner." I heard my mom's voice and all I felt was hatred at the moment. I know it wasn't her fault that this had happened to me, but I thought mothers knew everything so why didn't she notice that her husband was an asshole.
"I'm not hungry, ma."
"Beatriz, are you sick? Raul told me you've been in your room all evening. Did something happen at school?" The worry in her voice made me chuckle humorlessly.
"No, ma, I'm just really sleepy. See you in the morning, alright?"
I could almost picture my mom shaking her head and sighing, "Alright, mija, goodnight." I heard her retreating footsteps and lay back down. Sleep didn't come that night since every little noise had me on edge and gripping the comforter around me tighter till my nails felt as if they would fall out.
The next morning I didn't go to school. When my mom knocked on my door in the morning, I opened it and lay back down on the bed. She asked me if I was feeling sick and I nodded. Mom touched my forehead and her eyes widened. I had a fever and my stomach kept on cramping painfully.
"You must have eaten something gone bad, love," she looked worried and gave me some painkillers and placed a wet cold cloth on my forehead. I saw her glance down at her watch and she looked even more worried.
"Mom, if you need to go to work just go, okay? I'll be fine." I tried to smile and she patted my cheek. She left me some medicine on the drawer next to my bed and kissed the tip of my nose.
"Love you, mom," I said as she left my room and I leapt off the bed and went to lock my door. Once I was back on my bed, I closed my eyes; I hadn't slept all night so I would sleep all day.
There was a knock on my bedroom door, "Your mom told me you're sick. Good thing I'll be staying home, huh?" Raul's voice was filled with malice and the laughter that followed his words made a chill run through me. I threw the comforter off of me and took off the clothes I had and put on some clean clothes. The clothes I had slept in had once been my favorite jeans and shirt but now that I saw them I felt the need to vomit. I placed them in a bag and grabbed my cellphone, wallet, and school bag. I opened the balcony door and looked down; damn had it always looked this far up?
The rattling door caught my attention and I knew he was trying to get it.
"Open the door, Beatriz. I know you enjoyed it too, so stop being a little bitch. Come on, I promise I'll make you feel real good."
That's it, I thought as I threw my school bag over the railing and sat on the frail railing. I swallowed painfully as I saw my door finally give in and open. There he stood, looking around the room completely confused. He glanced at the window and the moment our eyes met I jumped down. Pain shot through my left leg but I ignored it as I grabbed my things and limped away. I could hear him yelling my name but I never stopped walking until I was at the park's entrance.
I took my phone out of my bag and sent my mother a text, 'Mom, I had to go to school. Big math test today, so I took some medicine and headed to school.' I placed the phone back in my bag and kept walking. I stopped at a trash can and took out the plastic bag that had the clothes that he had ruined and tossed them in the trash can.
I felt my phone vibrate and I took it out. It was a text, 'Yo, where you at you coming right? O.o –Lola'
I smiled, 'Nah, I'm going to ditch today, why? –Bee'
A few minutes later I received another text, 'Where you at? –Lola'
'Rosewood Park near the school. –Bee.'
The 'gummy bear' song went off and I answered the phone knowing who it was, "What's up?"
I could hear someone whispering in the background and then Lola answered, "Sorry, I was trying to leave Chrissie behind and she got mad. So yeah we're almost at the park. Why are you ditching, though?"
I sighed as I sat on a bench near the playground, "Didn't feel like going to school."
Lola hmph'd into the phone and whispered something to who I'm guessing is Chrissie in the background. "Alright, well we're here so where you at?"
My eyes widened at her words, had they walked fast to come to my rescue or something? Wait, I don't need rescue!
"Lola just go back to school, I don't want to get you in trouble."
Lola chuckled, "Well tough shit, Bee, we're already here and I'm not going to let you have all the fun!"
I smiled and sighed, "Dork."
"Eh, what can I say?" She said as she stopped right in front of me and smiled. "So, let's get on the swings?"
Chrissie smiled at me and waved, "we need to get rid of the backpack in case the cops stop us."
Lola nodded and thought for a second. She grabbed Chrissie's backpack, my school bag, and hers and took off towards the school. A few minutes later she came back gasping for air and a big smile on her face.
"There problem solves, so let's have fun!" Chrissie and I stared at her like she was crazy and we just burst out laughing.
"Dork," I chuckled and shook my head.
"Ah well yeah but I'm your dork," Lola smiled and a small blush covered her cheeks.
I shook my head and walked over to the swings. I thanked the heavens that I had such friends at a time like this. I felt someone looking at me and I turned to see Lola staring at me, a worried look on her face. I smiled and winked and that seemed to reassure her... at least for now.