dan
Dan doesn't want to go to school.
He never does, out particularly today. Yesterday marked the end of Dan and Phil's week long detention, and this afternoon, they are due for yet another attempt at their English project.
"Bye Shawn," Dan says, waving at his brother as he heads off into the primary school, "I'll be home late this afternoon."
"Why?" Shawn asks, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Dan, folding his arms over his chest, "what are you doing?"
"I'm going to a guy's house, Phil, we're working on an English project together," Dan explains, "seriously, it's fine lil' bro."
Dan sighs in defeat when he sees his brother's expression. He doesn't trust Dan, and even though he has reason in not trusting his brother, Dan is telling the truth this time.
"Fine, we'll do it at our house then," Dan says, "if it makes you happy."
"It does Danny!" Shawn says, smiling and hugging Dan, "I'm just looking out for you."
"I know, but that's supposed to be my job," Dan says, "now go in to school, and don't call me Danny."
Shawn just grins before turning and running into the school. Dan watches as he joins his friends - a picture of innocence and happiness. Despite his somewhat crappy home life, Shawn is happy at school, he has friends, he has an escape, and for that, Dan is grateful.
"Dan, no bailing okay?" Phil says sternly, approaching Dan as he walks into school, "we're going to my house an we are finishing this thing."
"I can't go to your house, sorry," Dan says, smirking when he sees Phil's face - he enjoys stirring Phil up.
"Why not?!" Phil asks angrily.
"Because, I promised my brother we'd do it at my house," Dan shrugs, "he thinks I'm staying out to do drugs."
"I like your brother already," Phil says.
"I like my brother too, we finally have something in common," Dan says, rolling his eyes, "now I'm leaving, go talk to your own friends. I think I heard somewhere that I stole from the Queen."
And then Dan walks off, leaving Phil to wander over to his friends.
phil
Phil approaches Louise and Caspar after Dan walks away.
"Hey Phil, you'll never guess what I heard!" Caspar says excitedly, "I heard Dan Howell stole a ring from the Queen!"
Phil raises his eyebrows doubtfully, partially wanting to laugh from what Dan had just said to him. It's like Dan can read the future or something.
"I doubt that is true Caspar," Phil says, rolling his eyes at his friend, "he'd probably be in jail for that."
"Yeah, I guess so," Caspar says, shrugging, "still entertaining and amusing though, the things everyone comes up with."
"Kind of mean though, I mean, how would you like all those rumors to be about you instead of Dan?" Phil asks, looking between Louise and Caspar.
"Not much," Caspar mumbles, looking downwards.
"Hey Caspar, you coming to the party at mine tonight?" a short, tanned guy asks, leaning over Caspar's shoulder, "your friends can come too."
He smiles at Louise and Phil, before turning back to Caspar. "So, you in mate?"
"Sure, sounds good, see you tonight Joe," Caspar says, smiling at Joe, "six yeah?"
"Yep, six," Joe confirms, patting Caspar's back before running over back to his footballer friends.
"Who's that Caspar?" Louise asks, laughing, "new hunky boyfriend."
"Haha, very funny," Caspar says, rolling his eyes, "that's Joe Sugg, he's my friend now. His parents are going away so he's throwing a party, do you guys want to come with me? Please?"
"Of course Caspar!" Louise says, grinning, "I'm always up for a party."
"Can't, sorry. Dan and I are working on our English project tonight," Phil sighs, "I wish I could though, I've heard Joe's parties are awesome!"
"Just ditch!" Caspar suggests.
"No, I can't do that," Phil says, "maybe I could come after. Even convince Dan to come!"
"Yeah, so then there'll be a murder there, good idea Phil," Louise jokes, making her and Caspar erupt into fits of giggles.
"It's not funny, accusing someone of all these things," Phil snaps, frowning at his friends.
"Since when have you become Dan's guardian? You barely know the guy," Louise says, rolling her eyes at Phil, "you're just too nice."
"Exactly, I barely know him, and you don't either so don't make assumptions about him," Phil says, "you say you don't like people judging you on your looks."
"Well I don't," Louise says, "you know that."
"Exactly, well aren't you being a hypocrite then?" Phil asks.
"I uh... I never really-" Louise stammers, looking lost for words.
"Just be more aware of how what you say can affect people," Phil says, shrugging, "sorry if I sounded harsh I just, I don't think Dan is a bad person, and I don't think everyone should treat him the way they do."
"How do they treat him?" Caspar asks.
"They move away when he comes close, flinch when he speaks to them, avoid him, gossip about him, refuse to associate with him," Phil lists, "that must be a lonely world."
"I think that you're thinking too deeply about this Phil," Louise says, patting Phil's back, "maybe tone down the brain workout on this one for now."
"Okay, you're right, I should just let it go," Phil agrees.
"Why are you still so hung up on Dan? Like, I get he saved you and all, but what else are you trying to get from him?" Caspar asks.
"Have you seem his smile?" Phil asks, raising an eyebrow at his friends.
"No, obviously," Louise answers in a 'duh' tone.
"Exactly," Phil replies, "Dan has this amazing smile, and I want the world to see it. Bad boys don't smile like that."
"Well good luck on that one," Caspar says, laughing, "I look forward to seeing the infamous Howell smile."
Phil rolls his eyes. His friends don't believe he's being serious, but he is. Phil doesn't know what Dan's life is like, or what he feels like inside, but Phil can guess that it isn't too great. Phil just wants to show Dan that he can be happy on his own.
Phil wants to prove to Dan that happiness exists, sometimes even in places you never expect, like for Phil, he found a strange happiness in the smile of the school's most feared and 'dangerous' student.
***
dan
Dan is running out of potential excuses to use as to why Phil can't come over to his house.
He's an escaped convict so he can't come? Nope, everyone would probably believe it and that would backfire greatly.
He has a terminal illness? Nope, Phil isn't a total idiot.
Dan's mother wouldn't approve? Nope, already told Phil accidentally about her depression.
Dan sighs in frustration. Five minutes until the end of school. Looks like Phil Lester is going to be coming home with him after all. Maybe if they just get the stupid project done, Phil can leave quickly - before his mother gets back.
Ten minutes later, Dan is regretting Phil coming home with him. Phil is spending the whole time singing songs softly, skipping and stopping every two meters to admire a piece of nature, and Dan is getting sick of it.
"Hurry the fuck up! This is worse than walking a dog. What are you going to do next? Pee on a bush?" Dan snaps angrily, grabbing Phil's arm and tugging him away from the strangled, yellow flowers growing in a crack in the path.
"Hey, that was a pretty flower," Phil says, pouting, "besides, you should appreciate nature more, it's beautiful Dan, you should stop and appreciate it more often."
"I'd rather not," Dan snaps, rolling his eyes and walking on, "if you don't hurry up I'll just leave you behind."
"Sorry Dan!" Phil says, breaking into a jog in order to catch up with Dan, "but seriously, look at that flower!"
Phil pauses, bending down to 'admire' the most ugly weed Dan has seen in his entire life. It is an ugly vomit yellow-green colour with spiky leaves and an odd shape. Dan walks back to where Phil is and stamps on the flower.
"What flower?" He asks Phil, who pouts and stands back up, "all I saw was a freaking ugly weed."
"That's not nice Dan," Phil says bluntly.
"Yeah, well not everything is," Dan replies before turning and stalking off down the road.
He's had enough of Phil already. He can see what Phil is trying to do - show him the apparent beauty in the world. Yeah right, Dan knows what this world is really like, and that's all he sees in it.
When they finally reach Dan's house, Phil follows him up the driveway. Dan opens the door, tempted to shut it I'm Phil's face - he doesn't. Phil walks in behind him, shutting the door after he walks in.
"Shawn we're home," Dan calls, walking further in and dumping his backpack on the dining table, Phil following suit.
"Hey Dan," Shawn says, appearing once he closes the cupboard door, a bag of chips in his hands, "who's this?"
"Phil, we're doing our assignment," Dan says, "Phil, Shawn, Shawn, Phil. If you need us we'll either be in my room, here or out the back."
"Okay, see you later," Shawn says, "bye Phil."
And with that, he turns and walks out. Dan hears his footsteps on the stairs, and knows he's probably gone to watch movies on the family computer while he knows no one else will be using it. Even though Dan's family was shitty and broken - they were quite well off, much to Dan's relief.
"So, where do you want to start?" Phil asks, sitting opposite Dan at the dining table.
"I don't care, let's just get this over with," Dan scoffs, pulling out a notebook and pen, "now, I have an idea, you come up with one and we'll trade."
"Okay, just give me a sec," Phil says, his face twisting and screwing up in thought as he tries to think of an idea, "right, got one."
"What's yours?"
"Well, I was thinking like just a comedic skit thing, like get a random topic and then improvise," Phil suggests.
"Not bad, I was thinking we could play video games, but like, include banter and twist them, like multiplayer with one blindfolded or horror games in the dark and then we could edit all the funny bits together," Dan suggests.
"I love that! That's a great idea!" Phil exclaims, grinning widely, "I can't wait now. Should we start?"
"Sure, I have a gaming console, a camera and a few ideas, we should plan what games first though," Dan says.
"Right," Phil says, "lets get started."
Half an hour later, they are say in Dan's dark room - after Phil admiring some of Dan's things - with the Slenderman game on his computer, the camera set up and recording, screen record on and a small light shining on them so their faces are visible.
"Ready?" Dan asks.
"Yep," Phil squeals out.
"I think we should toggle the fog," Dan says, clicking the option, "right, lets play."
"I should add I don't know what I'm doing, right, find the eight pages," Dan says, squinting at the screen and directing the character around the dark forest.
Dan should add - he hates dark forests, with a burning passion
"Remember Dan, we have to make it funny, so banter is good," Phil says as Dan starts looking through the woods.
After nothing happens for a while, Dan is confused and slightly bored, and Phil starts singing.
"Sleeeeeeendy, Sleeeeeeeeeendy!" Phil sings creepily, and then the screen starts to crackle and Dan can't help it - he's always been a very vocal person when scared.
"ARGH! SOMETHING'S HAPPENING, SOMETHING'S HAPPENING! RUN, RUN! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!" Dan screams as he quickly makes the character run away, so the screen goes back to normal.
"I'm sorry for tempting him, I'll never sing the slendy song again," Phil says, frowning as he watches the screen.
A few notes later, Dan is the one to start singing as it is getting a bit boring again.
"Trees, trees, trees to my left, trees, trees, trees to my right, trees, trees, trees to my back..." Dan sings, turning the view to behind him when the screen starts to crackle again.
"ARGH! RUN, RUN, NO, NO! WHY? WHY ALWAYS?!" Dan yelps as he runs away again.
When they do eventually get caught by slenderman, Dan stands and turns the lights back on, exchanging a look with Phil, who giggles.
"Never knew you were such a vocal screamer Dan," he laughs as Dan stops the cameras, "you should make jokes more often - you're funny."
"No," Dan says bluntly, "I'm right thanks."
"Well, that's one game down, a lot more to go!" Phil says, "we should have a gaming marathon on Friday and Saturday night, what do you say? One night at my house, one at yours?"
Dan sighs. Phil looks so hopeful and happy that he feels like he only has one choice of answer. Also, Phil hasn't spilt his secret yet, so he's grateful for that.
"Sure, whatever," Dan says, shrugging.
"And Dan, will you come to a party with me tonight?" Phil asks.
"No, I have to look after Shawn," Dan says, "but have fun. I guess I'll see you tomorrow in english."
"Okay, I'll text you about the weekend though?" Phil asks, smiling at Dan.
"Don't tell your friends," Dan replies, following Phil downstairs as he collets his bag.
"Bye Dan, and thanks, I had fun," Phil says, smiling at Dan.
Dan gives Phil a small, forced smile back, giving him a small wave before turning and shutting the door, leaving Phil outside. Phil turns and walks down the street, towards his own home. Even though Dan joked and laughed with him today - Phil didn't get the smile he wanted from Dan.
Dan turns away from the door, watching from his living room window as Phil wanders down his street, eventually rounding a corner. He sighs, collapsing on a sofa. He didn't know what it was about that guy, but when he was with Phil, he felt safe, happy and like someone really cared for him. He didn't know how to explain it, but when he was with Phil, he almost felt happy.
Almost, but never quite.
********
an// heyo hope you enjoyed! Sorry its been a bit longer, I got girl online on tour, username evie and TABINOF recently and I've been reading them!
Hope you enjoyed the chapter (and the Dan and Phil games reference). Please vote, comment and share! Thanks so much for reading! :D
p.s: who's seen the Dil's draw my life? I recommend putting captions on, they're hilarious! XD
p.p.s: thanks so much for over 1K reads! And this chapter is over 2K words, be happy :D