*Kariann’s POV*
“So, where we at now?” Dakota yawned, scratching her head as she curled herself up into a ball on the couch.
We’ve been travelling for a week now. The moment we came into the tour bus after their concerts, we’d be rolling down on the road. Dakota and I were still trying to get used to all the travelling. It amazed me how the boys could ever put up with it. I was pretty homesick, even Dakota. Every day held a new surprise for us, whether it was the next city we were in or just hanging out with the boys.
Especially now. It was six in the morning and I could hear someone snoring upstairs. I checked my phone’s GPS, “Um, we should be near Minneapolis here soon.”
“So…” She tried to think through her sleepy mind. “Um…”
“Minnesota.” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, that state. Okay. Wake me up when we get there…” She shoved her head into her pillow.
It didn’t take long until she dozed off. It was hardly surprising. She never really was a morning person. I give her credit for trying though, since she does her best to help out with the boy’s scheduling. Only when they leave, she’d jump back into bed.
I stuck my headphones in, listening to some music to pass the time. We’d be in Minneapolis in about an hour, from there, the boys had to get up and go to a talk show interview, following by a signing. Later onto the night they had yet another concert. After that was done, we were to go to Montana.
I could hear the stair steps creak even with my headphones on. I looked over, seeing Liam scratching the back of his head as he yawned. He silently stepped into the bathroom for a few minutes. I was expecting him to go back to bed when he was done, but he didn’t. He came over and took a seat on the couch on the opposite end I was on.
“Morning.” I said, pulling out an earbud.
He yawned again, “Morn…”
He kind of slumped there. I turned my body to where I faced him. He was stretched out, as if he was going to sleep like that. “…Liam?”
I watched as his body moved. He let out a huge breath he took in. He opened his eyes, looking to where Dakota was sleeping. “What do I do?”
“Huh?” I asked, confused.
“I got a call from management yesterday, complaining how the pap won’t stop calling. They’re dying to know who you girls are. Because of your privacy, they can’t tell, yet they’re saying that if we don’t do something about it soon they’re just going to make the slip.”
He looked at me, face pulled up in stress. From the light slipping from the window, I could see how red his eyes were. “Did you worrying keep you up all night?” I asked, concerned, “Liam… you don’t have to worry about us like that.”
Liam reached up, rubbing his eyes. “I can’t help it. You girls are important to the five of us. We don’t want anything happening to you that we can prevent. We just don’t want to take away your privacy. We know how much you want to keep it.”
I scooted over to where I was sitting by him. “Do the other guys know about it?” I asked.
He stared at me, highly debating on telling me. He shook his head. “I thought I would try to figure something out on my own.”
“Daddy Direction taking control, huh?” I sighed. It brought a small smile onto his lips.
He looked truly exhausted though. I grabbed his shoulder, “Seriously, Liam. You look like a zombie. Don’t worry about Dakota and I. We’ll be fine. Go get some sleep. You have an interview in three hours.”
He made a face. “Another?”
“It’s only until twelve. You’ll come back to the bus and you’ll have a signing at five.”
“Good. I can take a nap…”
I gave him a small shove, “Go back up and get some sleep. You’ll need it.”
He nodded, making an effort to get up and walk back upstairs. I looked at Dakota sleeping peacefully. I knew there would be a day mine and Dakota’s names would slip. Two very average girls being friends with the boys, along with having the honor to tour with them… it was uncalled for. While some fans may be able to support the boys and wish for the best, jealousy will take its toll. We would get hate for sure, even reviews from the press. Stories would be out eventually, and there would be no stopping it.
Rumors will spread, threats will appear, and the boy’s reputation will take its turn for the worse. I kind of knew how Liam felt now. Knowing all this, it scared me. It made me want to go home and just leave the guys be. It wasn’t like we were meant to be friends anyways. They were way out of our league, but… it was a risk I was willing to take. I looked at Dakota. As close as we were getting to the boys, we’d support them through anything, as they would for us too.
I got out my phone. I read through the week’s work of journal entries I’ve written. It takes me within an hour a day to write my journal. I always write with detail, just in case I ever forget what has happened. I always write down my feelings I felt during a situation. Most of the time it was exciting or happy feelings, except for one day, a few days after we started touring with them I noted something.
Harry seems a little off today. He’s barely talking to anyone and hasn’t been off of his bed. It’s three o’clock in the afternoon and he hasn’t eaten yet. I’m really worried for him. I think I’ll go talk to him whenever everyone leaves for food.
I remembered that I did. It didn’t take long after I wrote that when everyone left, taking Dakota with them. The boys tried to get Harry up and motivated, but he refused to get up. Once they left, I walked upstairs, ready to see what was wrong with Harry.
I found him curled up into a ball, head of curls falling in front of his face. If I didn’t know better, I’d of thought he was asleep. I sat down on the side of his bed. “What?” He asked, voice hoarse.
“You have everyone worried.” I said.
No response. I looked at his side, slowly reaching over and grabbing it. He jumped and squirmed, obviously ticklish. I grinned. With both sides exposed, the tickling became even worse for him. “Okay! Okay! I give! I give!” He gasped, laughing.
I stopped and he was on his back, blowing air out of his mouth to move the curls covering his face. I decided to lay down to, right beside him. Arms touching, and both of us staring at the ceiling, I asked, “So, what’s got Hazza so down lately?”
I turned my head toward him, watching him as he fixed his hair with his free hand. He sighed, putting his arm over his eyes. “I don’t know. It’s just…”
I didn’t urge him on. I just waited for him to continue. After a moment, he let it all out quickly. “I like this girl. It’s obvious she doesn’t feel the same for me. I mean, she even has a boyfriend… I even hurt her before, so she has no reason to like me, yet I can’t get her out of my mind.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “She must be really special to you.”
“She is. I always talk to her, making sure she is okay. It’s so hard though. Knowing that she’s taken just makes me so…”
“Jealous?”
I saw his head move, indicating a yes. I turned to my side, resting my cheek on his shoulder and rested my arm on his chest. A friendly hug. I felt his body tense for a second, but he loosened up, even turning his self to where my head was resting on his arm and his other arm hanging over my side. He pulled me close to a hug, resting his head on top of my own. He whispered a small thank you in my ear while putting his face in the crook of my neck.
I offered some soft pats on his back. For a few quiet moments, we were like this before I asked, “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Have you told her how you felt?”
“Yeah, but she flat-out rejected me. She only sees me as a friend anyways.”
What could I do to help? “Just how bad do you want her?”
“Very. She’s the most important thing to me. I’d treat her so much better than her own boyfriend, who does nothing but cause her stress. I want to make her the happiest girl in the world.”
Hearing the words brought a smile to my face. Whoever this girl was, she really was special. Harry was an awesome guy and would treat his girlfriend special compared to the other girls. “Well…” I offered a solution, “You could always try stealing her away…”
I felt his breath as he snorted. He pulled back, resting his back on the bed again, spreading out his arms as he stared up at the ceiling. He was cracking up. “My God, Kariann, why would such a sweet girl make a suggestion like that?”
I maneuvered myself so I was resting on my elbow to look down at him. “What do you want me to say? That it’s hopeless and you should just give up on her?”
He stopped laughing, staring up at the ceiling. “It might be though.”
“How do you know?” I asked, “Have you really even tried to win her over?”
“I guess not.” He said, thinking for a moment. “Well, since you suggested it, what should I do?”
I rubbed my chin, thinking. “Um…”
“Listen to that.” Harry concluded, “Even you don’t know.”
I slapped his arm. “Sh! Let me think…”
He waited patiently as I thought. I tapped my finger on my chin. I pointed up, reaching an idea. “Flowers!”
He raised an eye. “Flowers?”
I nodded, spinning around to sit up. “Do you know what kind of flowers she likes?”
He thought for a moment. “No. Never asked. What kind should I get her? Roses?”
I snorted. “Hell no. Roses may be romantic, but for you that’s too straightforward…” I clapped, jumping up from the bed. “Peonies! They’re perfect! If you know what her favorite color is, get them in that color. She’ll be touched.”
“Peonies…” Harry said, becoming thoughtful. “I wonder…”
We locked eyes. His stare lingered for a second before I saw that spark light up in his green eyes. He smiled, rising up to stand also. He pulled me into a hug. “Thanks. I think I’m going to go out now…”
He left quickly, right before the others came back for food. I explained to them what was wrong. They all quickly understood. The whole time, Dakota was grinning secretly to herself. It was almost like she knew something I didn’t. I wanted to ask, but never got the chance. I knew she wouldn’t tell me even if I wanted to know.
Later on that day he came back, smiling from ear to ear. He brought back a peony too. He sat down next to me, holding it out. “What’s this for?” I asked, taking it.
“It’s a thank you for helping. I went to a greenhouse and they showed me some peonies. Since she lives across seas from me, I had to call and special order it.”
I smiled at him, smelling the peony. “That’s awfully sweet. Thank you. How many did you get her?”
“One peony to represent each year I’ve known her.”
It was so sweet. I couldn’t help but smile for him. He smiled back, genuinely happy.
I still had the peony five days later. I kept it beside the couch. During the night, I’d find myself holding it, smelling its contents. It’s been so long since I’ve last received a flower from anybody, even my boyfriend. The last time he gave me a flower was only my sixteenth birthday. It was a fake flower, though I still had it, somehow this peony felt more… meaningful. I didn’t know why, but it did.
I hoped the girl was happy to receive her peonies. Harry was a great guy and would treat her right. I just knew he would. Why wouldn’t he?
I found myself looking at Dakota, sleeping away. Somehow the thought of Liam’s conversation of before came to mind. Yeah, we really needed to do something about prevent our identities to escape. I sighed. No, there was no escaping this. The world would find out sooner or later. Perhaps I should speak to Dakota about it first and talk to her about everything.
Maybe we can cause management less of a headache if we just told the world who we were. Two girls having fun on tour with five boys. Screw the news, screw the hate, they can get over it. What was important was what the boys thought of the two of us. We would support each other. No matter what.
I nodded, clutching the peony even harder. I put the peony to the side. I went over to wake Dakota up, since we were already in the city and there was no telling when we’d get to Minneapolis. She was grumpy, nothing unusual for the sleep-deprived girl. She went to the bathroom to freshen up and came out soon after to sit down with me. “There’s something important you need to know. Liam just told me not to long ago.” I started.
She nodded, looking at me, waiting for me to start. I began explaining. She listened without much of an expression. Maybe from the sleep, but either way, when I was done, she just stared off into space. “Dakota?”
“I don’t know.” She said, looking down at her hands. “It scares me to think the world will know about us. I…”
She clenched her jaw. Frustrated, she rubbed her hand over her face. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I just… I can’t.”
We felt the bus stop then. “We’re here.” She said, standing up. “I’ll wake up the guys.”
“Dakota…” I started. At least I wanted to know why.
“No.” She said, holding a hand out for me to stop pressing. “Stop. I just… can’t, okay?”
She stared at me intently. Fear. I saw it. She wasn’t scared for herself, but of something else. Was it the pressure from the world? I knew it wasn’t the physical world that was holding her back, but her own personal world. Her mother.
She left upstairs to wake up the guys. I let out a slow breath, slightly worried. This was not going to be a topic that would easily come clean. The guys finally woke up after about ten minutes of pestering. One by one they came down, fully dressed and ready to go. Liam was last, groggy and tired. Two hours of sleep didn’t cut it. They helped themselves to food, ranging from cereal to fruit. Liam took a seat beside me. “Did you tell her?” he whispered.
I nodded. “She didn’t take it lightly. She’s scared.”
Liam nodded. “I understand. Her mother, right?”
I blinked. He caught on that quickly. “Liam…” I started. “How much do you know about Dakota and her mother?”
He let out a slow breath. “Enough to know that they don’t necessarily see things on the same page. I’ve actually overheard some of their conversations.”
Yes, Dakota’s mother has been calling more frequently lately. Although Dakota tries to keep the conversation private by leaving outside, all you had to do was look outside the window and see her yelling into the phone.
“Do you still have that flower?” Liam asked, seeing the peony nearby.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Maybe I should get her something…” Liam debated, staring at the dark blue flower.
“Huh?” I asked.
“To cheer her up.” He explained. “Any suggestions?”
“Well…” I thought for a moment. “Get something white. She loves white flowers.”
“I thought her favorite color was orange…?” He questioned.
I gave him a smile. “There are exceptions to everything. Anyways, she has a strange belief that white flowers express some sort of purity. It refreshes her mind.”
“Really?” He asked, looking intrigued.
“Hey guys, the cars are here.” Zayn yawned, looking out the window.
“Are you staying?” Niall asked, seeing us still in our night clothes.
I nodded. “Yeah. We’re going to clean the bus up a bit.”
The bus really did need cleaning. Don’t even get me started on the boy’s room upstairs.
“Alright. We’ll see you later!” The boys shouted their goodbye before stepping off.
The two of us were left alone. Dakota stuck some earbuds in, getting ready to help me clean. I did the same. I wanted to talk to her some more, but I knew it would be impossible. I wouldn’t push her though. We silently cleaned for a few hours. A few times I saw her checking her phone. Text messages? Maybe not. The only person she ever texted was Bonnie. That girl was in Australia, she would be asleep. Plus, they only called and talked to each other. Maybe missed calls. Shit, I really needed to stop worrying about her, yet I couldn’t.
Somehow, I felt she was slowly starting to break apart because of her mother. She was becoming scared of her own birthmother. I wanted to tell her the exact words she told me when I was going at it with Alex. Be a rebel. In ways, it could be bad, but this, she needed this. Her mother was holding her back from her fun and causing her to stress.
There was nothing I could do now. I don’t know, maybe I could never help. Perhaps one of the guys needed to step up. Possibly Liam. Harry helped me with Alex. Maybe Liam can help Dakota with her mother. He would support her and hold her if she cried. He cared enough for her to try and protect her from whatever hardships came her way.
I sighed, wiping down the kitchen booth. I hoped she would at least loosen up tonight at the concert and have fun.