This chapter is dedicated to everyone who reads this...I can't think of anyone...also the reader of the week goes to everyone...if you want to have a chapter dedicated to you comment here. This shit is hard. Like I don't want to repeat the same people.
::
"It's not that....I promise"
"What is it then?"
Luke took Calum's hands in his, "I'm not ready, dough"
Calum's big wide doe eyes looked into Luke's and a large frown formed on his face.
"P-please don't cry"
"I won't.."
"Okay", Luke put his hands on his lovers arms and rubbed his hands up and down on them. "Calum I'm just not ready..I'm too young, and I don't wanna rush into things"
"I know" lies, why are you always lying Calum? The boy knew Luke was lying. He knew that wasn't the reason he wouldn't accept his proposal.
"Why doubt?"
"NO! NO DOUBT" Calum pouted.
"Promise?"
"Always." He pecked his lips
:::::
Luke stopped the car and unbuckled his seat belt. Calum didn't say a word on the way to the pizza place. "Calum what's up?"
Calum was staring into a dark abyss. He looked towards his boyfriend and shrugged. "I'm just really upset about what you said. And I have to confess, I don't really think you're talking about--"
Luke leaned over in the seat and grabbed his cheeks pressing his lips on his. "Stop talking"
Calum quickly unbuckled his seat belt and climbed on Luke's lap. They made out for about 15 minutes and finally tore apart. Luke laughed at how swollen and red Calum's lips are.
He brushed his thumb across Cal's plump bottom lip. He smiled at him and watched at how Calum squirmed on his lap. His smile disappeared. "Oh fuck. Calum you cannot be horny right now! I'm hungry as fuck"
"Please it'll be quick!!! I'll even top this time you don't have to do any work! I never top and it's not fair!!!"
Luke raised an eyebrow, "no Calum I'm starving. Get off"
Calum pouted and opened the door getting out. Luke got out too and pushed Calum against the car door. Cal's back was pressed against the car and he put his hands on Luke's broad shoulders to keep his balance.
The blonde looked down at him but Cal refused to look up. "Why are you being stubborn just look at me"
"No! I'm mad at you and I know if I look into those stupid beautiful blue eyes I know I'll forgive you!!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
Luke chuckled removing his hands from Calum's waist.
Calum grunted and stood on his tippy toes hugging his boyfriend. He dug his head in his shoulder frowning.
Luke hugged him with one hand rubbing his back softly.
The dark haired boy sighed shakily, feeling his heart sink knowing there was more that Lucas wanted. "Why am I not enough for you?"
"Baby, baby, baby, no", Luke hugged him tighter. "You're more than enough"
"I'm not"
"No. Shut up. Fucking hell Calum you know you're my everything"
"Don't lie please? Just tell me the truth"
"I am telling the truth! I swear I am-"
"LUKE!!! STOP IT!! Stop lying to me! I know you don't want me in your life forever"
Luke let go of Calum and pulled him away. He grabbed his chubby face in his hands. "Hey...that's not true"
Calum's frown was huge and his eyes began to water and he sniffled.
"N-no, please don't cry...Calum no...I hate when you cry"
Tears rushed out his eyes and Luke sighed heavily. "Stop..." He said softly wiping some tears away with his thumbs.
"Can we just go eat?" Calum croaked silently.
"Yeah..."
Calum pushed Luke off of him a bit and walked into the pizza place. Worried blue eyes kept their eyes glued on the tan boy except for when he ordered their pizza at the cash register.
He shifted uncomfortably. He knew the blonde was searching for the slightest tear so he knew he had to suck up what he was feeling. Once the negative thoughts rolled in, so would the tears, and he's not that weak.
"What are you thinking about?" Luke asked.
"Things" Calum played with his fingers..thinking about how self conscious your future wife made me.
"Calum you're the only one I want"
"I-I'm sorry I just can't believe it. I know they'll be someone else, stop saying there won't be. That's why you didn't want to accept it"
"I didn't accept it because I'm not ready dammit!!"
People stared at the table.
"What the fuck are you stink ass hoes looking at!?!" Luke yelled at them.
"LUKE!!!" He walked out the pizza place and waited for Luke. "I'm so embarrassed. Can we go anywhere without you making a scene"
Luke knew he had to keep his anger down or he'll say something he'd never mean. His jaw clenched as he reached for his keys. "It's always me isn't it?"
"Basically" (oooooh)
"So you're not going to talk about the part where you're getting all insecure because I didn't accept your fucking proposal?"
"How does that matter?!"
"Because you're saying I don't love you and I do! I'm just not ready! That's a big commitment and you're not getting it! I literally changed my whole life for you and that's not enough! I don't know what else to do!" (Marry him dumb ass)
"Be mine"
"Calum I am yours"
"Forever"
Luke groaned. "We've been over this. I'm not ready, end of discussion"
"Maybe I can change your mind--"
"You can't! When I'm ready I'll be ready! We haven't even known each other for that long"
"Two years is a long enough time"
"No...not for me"
---
The drive was silent except for the low volume of Luke's mix tape.
"I'm sorry, Luke..I just...it hurt and I should know by now that you do care about me. And you have given up a lot of things for me and I'm grateful for it"
"I accept you apology. I'm sorry for yelling"
"It's okay", Cal smiled slightly.
::
"Shirt Lucas shirt!!!"
"I gave it to Calum when I left!"
"Why??" Liz asked her son. If you didn't realize Luke makes pop visits to his parents house, just to check on them and ask for advice on things.
"Cause he asked for it". Luke got beer from the fridge and sat on the counter top. "He proposed to me"
"Fuck"
"I said no mom"
"FUCK"
"I'm not ready and also...I wanna do it, especially when he's not expecting it"
"Which one do you feel most strong about", she asked.
"Why in the hell would I tell you?"
"Because I'm your mother"
"The I'm not ready one. I'm seriously not. I'm still young and I want to live my life. I feel we should like break up, and for like 3 years I could fuck all the girls all I want, party all I want and smoke all I want" after Luke ranted his eyes instantly went wide and covered his mouth with his hands.
Liz slapped Luke across the face with a cold look on her face. "DO NOT THINK ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT! THIS IS WHY HE'S SO FUCKING SAD ALL THE TIME. And you have the NERVE to say you treat him right. You disgust me right now" she left the room leaving him speechless.
"I didn't mean it..." Luke whispered.
--
Luke walked into the apartment greeted with a sleeping Calum laying on the couch. The TV was turned to Spongebob.
He sighed and sat on the couch seeing drool come out his mouth.
Instantly he felt like shit. He regrets every dirty word that left his mouth. He knew at some point he'd had to tell his boyfriend what naughty things he had said.
"Calum...."
He shook him and he made a groaning sound and his eyes perked up when they saw Luke. "Luke!!!"
"Doughnut"
"What's wrong?"
"I-I said something wrong, it was uncalled for and-"
"Your mom already told me" he announced softly. He brushed a hand through Luke's blonde locks.
"Y-you're not mad?"
"I know your heart..I've learned it from these past experiences."
Luke smiled. "Good, cause I didn't mean it"
Calum nodded and climbed on top of Luke receiving kisses on the head.