Chapter 20
Carlos knows that he can't face his father alone-not that he plans on a revolution but being burdened with a wife and an illegal business is not something he has to face alone. There is one person who would be able to relate. The one person his father asked him not to confide in.
"Marco," he sighs.
"2 calls in less than a month?! This is an honour," jokes his brother, "but look, if you're just calling to whine about your baby bride then I'm afraid I haven't grown a vagina."
Carlos holds in a groan at his brother's immatureness. Despite being only three years younger than him, their emotional age is far vaster.
"No that's not why I'm calling although that is certainly still a problem. And any solutions you may have regarding it would be welcome."
"None so far although...I don't see how it's a problem.-"
"Forget it then," snaps Carlos before Marco can start debating the merits of marrying the Moretti girl.
"Sure," noncommittally remarks Marco with no doubt a careless shrug. All this is is a novelty to Marco. Something certainly not serious enough for him to worry or give anything but a passing thought to. While that infuriates Carlos a tad, he knows the next message he has will certainly garner his flighty brother's attention.
"There's something I need to talk to you about-alone and face-to-face."
"Well that's not at all ominous," sarcastically responds the wise-cracking jackass.
Carlos ignores it, giving him further details of their event, "I'll meet you at your apartment-5 this evening."
"Sure...I guess I'll have to cancel my happy ending massage but a small price to pay for the gift of my brother's visit."
It's hardly surprising Carlos refuses to set foot in the building when his brother keeps the place more like a private brothel than a home.
"Indeed and make sure you don't have any further...entertainment lingering Marco. This needs to remain strictly confidential."
"What about if I just have then blindfolded and wearing earplugs?" jokes back the younger man.
Carlos can only growl in response before giving his brother one last instruction before ending the frustrating conversation, "I mean it about the confidential thing, Marco. Not even Father is to know about this."
Lola glances up from the spaghetti squash base of the quiche she's making. It's a recipe Joseph has introduced her to and knowing Carlos's insistence on healthy food, she's conceded to trying it out. She has to admit since living with him, her diet has immensely changed. Just as his has become more forgiving in terms of fat and sugar content. Thank God. She could not live without bread or pastry in her life.
She's forking the last bit of squash from its skin when Carlos makes his appearance.
He'd told her of his plans to see his brother as soon as she'd walked in through the door and been surprised with his early return. Of course, her own personal opinion of Marco Castellano clouds her displeasure at Carlos conspiring with him but what can she say? They're brothers by blood and blood is the thickest bond for people like Carlos. Besides, how can she justify her reasoning? She can't exactly state that her gut doesn't think it's a good idea, because that's just crazy.
"You won't be long will you?" she asks as he pockets his keys.
He winds an arm around her waist, pecking her temple.
"I'll be back for dinner," he replies.
With that Carlos heads for the door but Lola stops him before he can leave.
"Just...just be careful, okay? I know he's your brother and you trust him but...just be careful," she warns him.
He gives no indication that he's heard her and that just adds fuel to the fire of anxiety already in Lola.
The high-rise apartments are not dissimilar to one that Carlos lives in. But this building being further on the outskirts of town is far more...liberal when it comes to their guests. It's really a 'don't ask-don't tell' policy and as long as the hefty bills are paid on time and the concierge is tipped generously for discrepancy then a blind eye is turned to the actions of the tenant-illegal or otherwise. And for the boss's son, they make even greater exceptions.
Carlos makes his way to Marco's door, bracing himself as he knocks on the thick wooden door (replaced after too many complaints that couldn't be ignored).
There's a waft of smoke before a semi-clad Marco opens it up. He leans his torso against the doorframe, a joint stuck between his fingers however he doesn't seem high. He seems fully in control of his actions and there's no pupil dilation present.
"Right on time as usual. Come on in and let's get this party started," he greets swinging the door wide open and striding back in.
Carlos follows him, shutting the door as quietly as he can whilst commenting, "you know I'm not here to party Marco."
His brother turns and gives him a smirk as Carlos notices the two women in just their thongs. One is dark skinned and curvy while the other is tall and slim. Both are gorgeous and by the seductive expression they wear would have very easily submitted a weaker man. But Carlos isn't here to socialise and perhaps it may be from the regular service he's getting but he certainly doesn't feel the need for a 'check-up' with these two.
"You've been so tense lately and I think I know why. Abstinence for too long a period of time makes Castellano's go crazy, you know. And maybe after we can talk."
If only his brother knew how far from abstinence he actually is.
"Ladies, you need to pack your stuff and leave now," calmly instructs Carlos addressing the women his brother so vicariously tosses around.
They raise their eyebrows, briefly glancing to Marco who simply shrugs in a seemingly careless way.
"Sorry girls, let's reschedule when my brother comes off his period."
They watch as the girls stand up, sauntering over to the adjacent bedroom to no doubt to clothe themselves. It doesn't take long and soon they've left, meaning the two siblings are alone.
Marco takes a drag of his joint before stubbing it out and exhaling slowly. He does it just to annoy Carlos, who despite his father's acceptance of the behaviour, does not.
"So what now? Are you finally going to come out?" questions Marco spreading himself across the couch by flinging an arm along the top and slouching into the furniture.
Carlos takes his seat on the lone armchair, picking off a lacy thong lodged in the side by his fingertips and tossing it onto the floor.
"Father has written his will."
That certainly has his nonchalant brother's attention.
He actually sits up, his elbows resting on his knees.
"What?"
"He has. He showed me it after you left. It looks authentic," explains Carlos allowing Marco to connect the dots.
It doesn't take him long and within seconds Marco is snorting in disbelief.
"Of course! Of course, I'm the fucking one doing all the work and the old bastard picks you to be his heir!"
Carlos can feel his brother's anger bubbling within him. Usually it's a cool fury that Marco displays shown in his controlled brutality but Carlos has a prickling feeling that that anger runs deep within him. And like himself his brother is all shades of messed up. Far too much psychological damage that is buried in layers upon layers of anger, resentment and conformity; with a skin of dry, insulting humour. Carlos is brave enough to admit there are times when even he is frightened by his brother.
"Relax, you know I don't want anything to do with that business. I have my own legitimate one."
It's reassuring in part for Marco but he knows better than to just take his brother's word, "and Father has just accepted that? College is one thing but this? Somehow I don't picture him being too happy his prodigal son is rejecting everything he holds dear to him."
"I tried telling him but..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," waves Marco, slumping back into his seat and running his hands through his hair, "fuck."
"That is one issue that won't be. When father...passes, I have no intention of taking over the enterprise, I want to leave all that up to you-if you wish that," he states.
Marco inhales, his eyes sharpening on his brother, before consciously relaxing.
"Maybe. But I'm sure there'll be some loophole in there somewhere to stop that happening."
Carlos shrugs his shoulders, "well I don't want it. So either you can take it or..."
That silence hangs in the air, neither wishing to reveal any scenarios they may have because in all probability were that to occur Alberto would probably haunt them from the grave.
"So is that it? Can we party now?"
Carlos rises to his feet, "that is it. I still have the other bomb to diffuse-"
"Still not a problem, brother."
"-So have...fun with your...well...your friends and try not to catch anything incurable."
It's a great relief to come home after the long day Carlos has had; and an even greater relief to be able to pretend to be living a lie of a life. While watching TV after a delicious meal may not be the exciting life that many dream of, it's a picture of serenity for him. He's experienced the high profile life, the toll it takes on a person to play a heartless villain and it's one he desperately wants to escape from, towards a more 'normal' life. To be able to just come home after a good day's work, to a come cooked meal and maybe one day, in the future some kids, and be able to discuss everything with a significant other.
"Hey how did it go with your brother anyway?"
The whimsical wishing is broken by Lola's question. Still with eyes focused on the TV he answers her, "better than expected. He surprisingly took it calmly but I suppose I've never exactly masked my disinterest in carrying on the family 'legacy'."
Her palm smoothens over his chest causing him to glance down at her.
"Try not to worry. It'll all be okay," she reassures him and despite not being convinced, the gesture is a welcome one.
Desire clouds his worrisome thoughts as a mist of lust settles over it all, helping to disguise those distant problems.
She's quick to sense the change in his gaze and her body hums for him. Recently they've been so in-tune with each other she's almost scared to analyse the connection into too much depth. After all, when this all inevitably falls apart, she wants the bliss of ignorance for just a while longer. The sensation that they are untouchable; that they live in their own protective bubble where no one will ever find out about them. It's the wishful thoughts of a truly naïve little girl but for now, Lola doesn't care. She-they've-found a glimmer of happiness in a truly sordid world and she'll latch onto that as much as she can.
She shifts towards him, his declining head inching closer to hers, closing off their metaphorical vesicle when a buzzing interrupts them.
With a small groan Carlos digs the vibrating device out of his pocket. Lola goes to protest, enticing him to simply ignore the call and return his attention to her but upon seeing his frowning expression, it's concern that fills her.
Carlos sits upright the grey fog dispersing immediately from his mind, returning it back to its razor sharpness as he registers the caller.
"Mamma," he answers, faintly noting Lola's palm landing on his shoulder.
"Ciao, figlio," she chirps, an upbeat tone that's remarkably unusual for her.
There's a prickling sensation at the back of Carlos's head reminding him to be cautious-even more so than he is when speaking to his family.
Lola may be lost in the Italian but she can certainly detect body language and the tone of voices, meaning that even she realises that Carlos is weary of his mother's call.
"What can I do for you Mamma?" asks Carlos humming it lowly in his fluent Italian mother tongue.
"I know you believe me to be old-fashioned Carlos but your mother can make some leniencies, you know."
His eyebrows shoot up, wondering what on earth she means, "oh?"
"Yes. And I am well aware, Carlos, about how you men feel about marriage."
"Oh?" his voice is higher in surprise this time. Hope inching its way in as he prays that at least his mother understands his reluctance to marry this girl.
"It will be a lot better once it is done," she continues crushing that hope of his, "but I think I know of a way that can ease your...concerns."
"And what is that, mother?" he flatly asks, uninterested again.
His mother is oblivious to it, proud of her new plan as it were, "you simply need to talk and get to know this girl. Chaperoned of course. I have arranged for you to meet her tomorrow evening at well, your very own restaurant! Her bodyguard will be there, obviously but I've managed to convince her father to allow you two a little bit of privacy. I am unfortunately unable to make it, however you may ask your brother to escort you if you'd prefer."
Carlos doesn't know what to say to that. It's not bad enough that his parents are practically forcing him to marry this girl but now he has go on a controlled date with her too?! And obviously, his mother is thrilled about her exciting and what she believes is ingenious proposal.
"...I don't know if that would be-"
"It will be fine, darling. Your father and I do realise, you are a new generation as it were. So this is an exception we are willing to make and of course, Mr. Moretti. I have told her to be there at 7pm Carlos to join you for dinner. And I know I don't have to tell you but make sure you are a gentleman and honour your father's name, sweetheart."
"Mamma...You know I do not...I do not wish to marry her-"
"Carlos!" her tone is sharp this time, all the warmth drained out of it as she reprimands him, "we have gone over this before. This is not a debate. This is a good match and it is high time you settle down. Now, stop this nonsense. Sometimes in life, we must make sacrifices for the sake of family. Your father and I have done so much for you and this is how you want to thank us? We have given you boys so much freedom, luxuries and have never asked anything unreasonable of you. When you disobeyed my wishes and went to college, I was disappointed but I could forgive that. When you brought home that weak, timid girl I was disappointed but I could forgive that. But if you refuse my wishes this time, Carlos I am afraid I can not forgive you."
Carlos exhales slowly, his mother's words weighing down heavily on him. Of course he loves her. He has to. She is his mother, she gave him life and she has nurtured him in her own way. But is it just him or is what she's asking of him far too big? He knows to his mother it probably is very simple. He can marry Eliza Moretti but retain whichever mistresses he desires discretely on the side. It's a real win-win situation for him. More power for the family yet still the freedom to live his life as he pleases so long as appearances are maintained.
But perhaps it's his ideals of marriage developed by the culture of monogamy but he doesn't want that. He wants to retain the sanctity of marriage and to do that, he needs to marry someone he is sure of committing the rest of his life to. And that person is not some 19-year-old girl he's never even met.
"Please Mamma, I did not mean to upset you. Perhaps...perhaps for you I suppose I can...meet this girl," he reluctantly agrees.
He knows his mother and he knows when how stubborn she is. Obviously this is something she really wants and if he doesn't meet this girl, his mom will probably do something crazy like bringing her over to him. And then how would he explain Lola's appearance? Besides, perhaps Eliza won't be so bad. Teenage girls are scheme-y right? Maybe with those conniving wits of hers and his they can come up with some sort of plan to get out of this loophole. Or with a bit of luck, she might already be infatuated with some boy in a band and hell bent on marrying only him.
"Ah, Carlos, sweetheart! That's my good boy. Now don't forget to dress smart," she chirps bidding him a goodbye before hanging up.
Carlos grumbles a ciao before sliding his phone onto the coffee table in annoyance.
"Another family dinner?" questions Lola, the humour of her words evaporating as soon as they leave her lips.
"Not family this time," murmurs back Carlos rubbing his eyes briefly in fatigue.
She surprisingly waits for him to continue, an expression of perplexity marring her soft features.
"My mother wants me to go on a 'date' with my supposed bride-to-be," he responds bitterly.
The flash of resent is sharp to sting Lola, catching her off-guard before ebbing into an immobile anvil in her gut, seeping pheromones of pain up to her heart.
"What? Where?" she questions.
"Tomorrow at 7, I have to wine and dine her. Well...not wine obviously-"
"Where?"
There's a brief pause as he considers which answer to give before eventually giving the correct one.
"L'Anime."
Lola can't help her outraged gasp. The burn of jealousy curses through her veins. They can't be out in public in town, openly and freely yet he can be with some little girl who he's never even met before? And at their restaurant?!
It's not his fault. She knows it's not but a part of her despises him for not standing stronger and going against his parents. But that kind of stuff only happens in whimsical romance films and silly chick-flick books. People weigh up their options in real life, they don't just go out on a limb for some girl. And Lola is literally just some girl. He's known her far less longer than his parents and well, she hasn't exactly done much for him unlike his parents. Of course, he's going to obey their wishes just as Lola would for her father.
However even with that sound reasoning she can't exactly turn off her emotions.
"I know, I know....piccola," he sighs, realising how this must be for her.
They may not have labels on their relationship but he believes they have an unsaid bond, greater than any of those pointless labels. And he wants to honour it but he needs to do this, he's already given his mother his word.
"Don't...it's fine," states Lola trying to force upon that smile, "you...have to. I get it. It's your family-you're can't exactly say no to them."
No, he can't, and therein lays the problem. It's always been and always will be their wishes over his or rather compromise.
"I can't but that doesn't mean that I won't try find a way to stop this," he states with determination and he will exhaust all his means.
Lola gives a shaky smile but a part of her still is unsure about this whole situation. There are too many 'what if's' and some are just too horrible for to even contemplate; especially the 'what if he meets this girl and fall madly in love with her?'. Because the only thing more horrific, for Lola, than him being forced to marry this girl is him not being forced to marry her but doing it out of his own free will. And as horrible as that sounds and as happy as she wants him to be, it truly makes her heart wrench to imagine him with some other lucky girl by his side through the thick and thin.
But...maybe at least one of them should have a happy ending, if it can be considered that.
She briefly closes her eyes, reopening them and injecting as much conviction in as she possibly can, stating, "if you do decide after meeting her that...you've changed your mind, then I know I have real say in it but I would not hold it over you. Nor would I blame you."
His face contorts into a brief flash of pain and confusion before realisation strikes.
"Lola...Why would I possibly want some 19 year old, little girl when there's you? Objectively I do believe I have a much better deal with you."
A genuine smile lights up her features as she playfully responds, "and subjectively?"
"Subjectively..." he whispers eyes dropping in contemplation to her lips before back up at her, "...it's the same."
As sweet as those words are (for him at least), Lola is slightly disappointed. She was hoping for more of an open, honest answer about his feelings towards her however she supposes, it is wrong of her to just expect him to be the one to break that glass ceiling between them. She could just as easily take that leap of faith first...were she not so scared of the fall.
Until either one of them decides to do that, however, they will just have to get used to living in limbo.
A/n Yep, long time no update-I know. But University guys...it's as much torture as it is pleasure. Lol. I do love my course but jeez, all the extra stuff you have to do is crazy. Anyway, not sure when the next update will be (sorry) but I will try do a little each night so there can be another decent sized chapter soon.
Question of the chapter: How/Under what circumstances do you imagine Lola and Carlos (Carola) saying 'I love you's'?