Chapter 6:
Adjustment Period
(Harry's POV)
And that was another best day of my life. Thanks to Abbie for all her support, I would have not gotten this far. When I hugged her at that time, I wished I didn't have to let go. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to love her forever. But I can't live with the pain of knowing she doesn't love me back.
Not more than a best friend.
Bootcamp will start by June, when all auditions are over. I wasn't expecting I'd be able to get through that first round, especially after hearing Louie's comment.
From: Bababoo Ü
I have something to tell you.
It was around 11 in the evening when I received a text message from Abbie. How could she still be up this late?
To: Bababoo Ü
You could just tell me straight if you want me to cuddle there with you. xP
From: Bababoo Ü
Im serious
Okay that got me a bit worried. No punctuation marks? No emoticons?
My heartbeat increased its pace every each passing second. Something's definitely not right.
To: Bababoo Ü
How am I gonna sneak up your room? O.o
From: Bababoo Ü
Uncle Edgar used a ladder this morning. Check it out below.
I looked outside and saw the ladder there, its maximum height already enough to get me up her window.
It was cold outside so I slipped in my sweater and wore my gray bonnet. Mom would get mad if she catches me sneaking out late at night. Then Gemma would start teasing me and I would blush like crazy while trying to hide my real emotion. So yeah, I had to tip toe quietly.
The air was freezing and I didn't waste my time to tap on her window. The low temperature created moist on the glass and her lights were off so I couldn't really see her, not until she pulled it open and allowed me to hop in.
"Hey, are you alright?" I asked, closing the window behind me. She remained silent as she sat on her bed.
I occupied the space beside her and rubbed her back. "What is it? What's wrong?"
She takes in a deep breath and sighs."I'm leaving."
What?
"Come again?" I request, wanting to make sure I heard her right.
"I'm leaving." She repeats.
I was stunned. My hand stopped moving on her back and I was just staring into space.
She's been here for two months. Two fucking short months and she's gonna leave right away? But why? I thought she'll be living here- for good?
"Wha- what? Why? I-I don't understand." I stood on my feet and tried to clear my thoughts.
"We're leaving. We're going back to the Philippines tomorrow. I won't be back for I don't know, a year?" Her voice was shaking and that's when I noticed the tears in her eyes.
I felt my heart drop, seeing her like this- desperately trying to make this easier for us . No, she can't leave. She can't just leave me when things are already falling into place. She can't do this.
"Why did you tell me this just now? Do you have any idea how much I'm- I'm-"
Hurt- my mind continues for me.
"I didn't tell you because I got lost in the moment. I was having so much fun, you know? I was enjoying the summer of my life- with you. Not until I saw mom zipping my suitcase."
I run my fingers through my hair angrily. "Ugh! I thought you trusted me! That's why we're best friends, remember? We were supposed to be together in this. Not just me. Not just-"
"Hush Hazza." She whispered loudly. I didn't realize I was already raising my voice. There's just a lot of emotions raging in my veins.
My head was spinning and I found myself leaning on the window pane, my arms stretched out infront of me to support my weight. She got up from the bed and I felt her presence just behind me when she touched my back. I turn to face her, my gaze moving to her trembling lips. The moonlight that was penetrating through her glass window was shining on her face and I could see the sadness in her eyes. I know she's hurt. It's obvious. And I hope she can see how hurt I am too.
"I'm sorry. It's just that one year- uhh one year is too long for me. I'd miss you too much. What if I don't do good in bootcamp? What if I get cut off? Who would be there for me?" This time I was able to control my voice. She looked at me with her dark eyes, concerned.
"Hey, listen," Her hand moves to rub my arm. "Your family will be here. You have other friends like your bandmates from White Eskimo."
"But you won't be part of them. It wouldn't be the same at all-"
"I'll still be here." She assures me."Besides, you can always call me, right? Skype, Facebook, Twitter. We can work this out. Just mind the time difference though." She tries to laugh. "We're best friends, remember? Best friends work things out. No matter the distance."
I couldn't utter a word because my tears have started dropping. How the hell can this girl take over my emotions so fast?
I felt her arms wrap around me and throughout the entire moment, I was hugging her back, tightly.
"Yeah." I whisper in her neck. "Best friends."
**********
My family insisted to come along to bring them to the airport and you can see how hesitant Abbie and her Brother are.
"Skype okay? I'll be online as soon as I get back home. At least you'd be busy in bootcamp and I'd be busy in school." She shutters as she takes me in for another hug.
"Of course. I'll be waiting for you when you get back." She pulls away and I give her my sweetest smile which she returns.
"I love you Hazza." The words escape her lips as if it's the most usual thing she could say.
"I love me too." I laugh and she spats my arm. "Ow- what was that for?"
"Say that you love me!"
"No- ow!"
"Say it!" This time she takes my ear between her fingers. "Tell me that you're never going to forget me."
"Never-"
"Abbie, we have to check in." Her dad's voice sounded serious and I know he didn't mean to cut us off.
"You better go." I tell the person in front of me. "Shouldn't be late for your flight, yeah?"
"I won't leave if you won't say-"
"I love you Bab!" My lips touch her head and I felt her stiffen. Shit. Why did I do that? She'll think that I'm- which I actually am- and-
"Is that all?"
"And I'm never going to forget you."
"Is that all?" She asks again.
"Yes, now go!"
She smirks proudly. "Alright alright!" We gave each other our last hug, before I see her disappear in the crowd of passengers with her family.
Actually, that wasn't all. My mind tells me. I want to tell you that I love you so much. More than you could ever know.
*****
Bootcamp has finally started and everyone has to work harder to stay in this competition and it just made this job really stressful and complicated.
I just finished talking to Abbie on the phone a few moments ago. She was busy with Sophomore stuff and she also said she might come back and see me by Christmas and it got me really excited.
As I go through bootcamp, I kind of realized how big the prize is. So being here the last few days, made me realize how much I wanna stay and I really don't wanna go home now.
For the judgement day, I decided to sing Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis. It's one of my favorites too.
"You're gonna do great Hazza." Abbie encourages me further. "Call me right away after the results, okay?"
"Of course. I will." I can't stop the smile on my lips when I heard her giggle on the other line. "And what are you doing up this late?"
"It's your judgement day so I'm not going to miss this one."
"Well thank you for that-"
"Harry? You're on in five minutes." Some guy, in a navy blue suit, announces as he also gestures me to follow him.
"Shit Bab. It's my turn. I have to go. You can go to sleep if you're really tired, alright? I love you-"
"Good luck, Haz-"
"-okay bye." And with that, the call ended.
I was nervous as hell but confident at the same time too. It's now or never.
We're all of us stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out.
Well that went better than I expected. I do hope it's enough for me to pass. The judges looked impressed anyway and I tried my best to maintain our connection.
After some time, the judges called out the boys' category to pick the ones who are going to get through the next round. Some were already crying and I was getting emotional as well.
One was called, then another, then another. I have't heard my name yet and as another guy steps forward, my heart begins to shatter into pieces.
"The final contestant that has made it through is..."
Please be me.
Please be me.
Please be-
"Tom Richards."
And I broke down. It's like all my dreams came crashing down. The guys were crying and I tried my best not to let my tears fall. I know we all did our best but it still wasn't good enough.
We exited back stage where everyone exchanged disappointed looks. But then a crew member went up to us and stopped us from leaving.
"I'm going to call five boys to please come with me back there."
One by one he called out names again.
Niall Horan.
Zayn Malik.
Harry Styles.
After that, I didn't hear anything else. All I knew was I heard my name and it brought my hopes up again just like moments ago.
We were led to the front stage where the judges faced us one more time. Louis Tomlinson and Liam Payne were the other two who was with us as we waited for the announcement of why we're here together with another group of girls.
I was deep in thought when Nicole's statement brought me back to reality. "..you're too talented to let go off. We think it would be a great idea to have two separate groups." It rings in my head just like how my favorite song does.
There was a smile on Simon's lips as he held the mic infront of hisface. "We decided to put you both through."
Fuck yeah!!
We screamed and jumped up and down, hugging each other. I have to admit that at that moment, I forgot about the world and realized how important this opportunity is. We made it through.
Next thing we havr to do next was impress Simon Cowell at the Judges' House.
All five of us got along pretty well and it wasn't hard to remember everyone and their obvious physical attributes.
Zayn. He introduced himself saying he was half-pakistani half-british. He had black hair and brown eyes and was a year older than me.
Niall. He was Irish and short too, no offense. He had golden hair, and sea blue eyes and he kind of reminds me of a leprechaun.
Louis. This one had dark brown hair and eyes that seemed to match mine. He was the oldest but the most childish one too.
Liam. This guy almost had the same hair like Louis but his eyes was a shade of chocolate brown.
"So what are we gonna be called?" Zayn asks as we sat around in a circle.
"What about Louis and the band?" The oldest one jokes and everyone scrunches their forehead with the idea.
I thought of something catchy and unique. Our vocal coach would always remind us that our voices should always be one. If we want to go somewhere, it should be in the same direction. And so i came up with One Direction. Not bad, yeah?
Weeks came by and the competition was getting tougher and tougher. Until it came to the point when we had to perform at Simon's house, singing an acoustic version of "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia.
Simon Cowell later commented that the performance convinced him that our group, One Direction, were confident, fun, like a gang of friends, and kind of fearless as well. Within the first ten weeks of the live shows, our name spreaded throughout the world, until we were now Cowell's last act in the competition.
We didn't expect to win the X-Factor. It was fun enough to be able to hang out with these guys. We became best friends and promised to be there for each other no matter what.
In the end, we finished off in 3rd Place. I could still remember the date: December 12, 2010. It was heart breaking and painful but I guess if we truly deserved it, it would have been given to us.
That was when I remembered Abbie.
Oh shit, Abbie!
I haven't talked to her since hell week started. Wait, let me correct that. I haven't talked to her since hell month started. I mean I was so busy and stressed and I think she was busy too. You know, school stuff.
I began to realize that something in me was missing. The familiar feeling of emptiness filled me my chest and I am so fucking regretful right now. It's been two months and I can't believe I forgot about the girl who's been the reasob why I'm here in the first place.
I decided to call her.
"What?" She answered, grumpily.
"I miss you." I try to make it sound like I mean it, which I really do.
"You haven't returned any of my calls, haven't replied to any of my e-mails and when you get cut off, you're gonna tell me you miss me?"
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I repeat to myself as I ran my fingers through my hair.
"Wait- let me explain-"
"I can't believe I'm the only one who gives shit about this-"
"Baba- please." I beg her. She doesn't respond and I continue. "It was hell, you know? We had a lot of live performances, hectic schedules and a lot of pressure. We're trying our best not to disappoint anyone." She still wasn't answering and my heart keeps hammering in my chest. "But I guess I've disappointed the most important person in my life."
I heard her sigh, as if she was so hesitant to talk to me. "You're the one who's pressured? Haven't you ever thought about someone who was actually dying to know how you're doing? What about that huh? I have a hectic schedule in school too but atleast I could still find time to email you. But what do I get in return? Nothing, not even a simple Hey!" She was definitely very upset. It was my first time to hear her raise her voice at me like that, in a serious way. "I waited for months! Two fucking months, Harry."
"Baba. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm soooooo sorry."
Fuck here she goes with the silent treatment again. I can't-but she- I mean- ugh!
"Baba?" I say one more time, hoping she didn't drop the phone on me. I heard her sniff and slow breathing accompanying it.
Shit, I just made my best friend in the world cry. I am a horrible lad. Really really horrible!
"Broken hearts, last goodbyes restless nights, but lullabies helps to make this pain go away. I realized I let you down, told you that I'd be around, building up the strength just to say," She stopped sobbing and I knew I'm getting her back. "I'm sorry, for breaking all the promises that I wasn't round to keep. You told me, this time is the last time I will ever beg you to stay..."
I wasn't finished when she cut me off. "Stop that. Of course I'm staying. I missed you too Hazza." She said, her tone swiftly changing. "And fuck, your voice is maturing."
I let out a laugh and I heard her do the same, and that was enough for my heart to soften up and our friendly relationship come back to normal.
*****
"I'm signing you to a £2 million Syco Records contract." Simon told us while we're eating dinner during a private meeting.
Our popularity was going worldwide and fans are asking for more. Yeah, I know right? It's still surprising to say it- fans.
We signed our contracts and began to start making our first album. It was indeed an adjustment period for us, but it was worth it, knowing how much people are supporting us
"You know lads, this is going to be amazing." Niall exclaimed when we were in the studio.
"It's epic, actually." Zayn follows up.
I take the seat beside Louis and press my back against his chest. "And I'm so glad I met you all." I faked a cry and they all did too, eventually ending with a burst of laughter.
Hanging out with these guys made us learn a lot from each other. Abbie was now updated too. She gathered some fans through social networking sites and they made a group name called Directioners.
"So when are we going to meet this Abbie you're telling us about?" Zayn asked. We will be hanging out wih the lads' girls next week and it would be an honor to do so. Niall, Zayn and I don't have girlfriends yet but it doesn't matter. Atleast I'm inlove.
"By spring, two moths from now. It would be summer then in the Philippines. Abbie's coming back here and I'm sure she'd be happy to meet you." I haven't mentioned the part where I'm massively in love her. Let's leave that to me, myself, and I.
With us becoming rising stars, Harper Collins even get to publish a book about our X-Factor experiences. It was released on February and we even participated in the X-Fctor's Live Tour that started in the same month. By the time it would end, Abbie would already be here, with me.
"Harry, right?"
I turn around and saw this tall, blonde haired girl approaching me. She looked familiar but I can't remember her name.
"Uhh-yeah, that's me."
"What is a seventeen year old doing in this bar?"
"Uhh- no- nothing."
"What's wrong? You look shocked." She teases and moves towards me further. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna touch you."
I flinch when her hand made contact with my thigh. I don't make an effort to push her away and I don't know why. "What's your name again?"
"Caroline." She smiles. "Caroline Flack."