The burritos heath were restored, but Tyler and I's relationship hadn't improved the least bit.
He's been holding a grudge because I whacked his fucking burritos onto the fucking ground. That shit stains!
I don't understand why he's acting like this.... They are just burriotos
But apparently they mean much more to him, I still love him :( I hope he will take me back.
I know what I have to do to get him back.
I hop into my fucking mercedez benz (fucking swagged) and drift off to his mansion.
I turn into an unfamiliar corner. I've gone the wrong way! I'm a fucking dumb ass bitch. Lol
"Flaky Pugs have been seen everywhere, Martha! I swear! I was watering my strawberries, come back... And the fucking dick asses just start chewin' em!" Ryan Seacrest announces.
I make an illegal U turn bc fuck the police. I don't even have my license!!! I have GTA!!! Haha!!! A garage giftcard works as a lisense right???? ;)
About a half an hour later, I stop at is gorgeous mansion. Wow hes so fucking rich. #goldigger
#KIMK #THATSHADETHO #ROASTED
"Tyler.... It's me... We need to talk.." I mumble.
"OMG IS THIS THE DILDO COMPANY BC IVE BEEN WAITING FOR 2 HOURS UGH!" Tyler screams.
What the actual fuck????.?,
"No, it's fucking vanessa." I yell.
"Oh...fine burrito killer". He screams.
I walk in the damn place, inflatable belugas on the damn couches and champagne poured over the leather couches.
"What the hell happened here?!" I scream.
"Truth is, i've missed you. It hasnt been the same without you, the kids miss you!" He frowns.
"Kids???" I say. Umm we didnt use a condom lolz but i didnt get preginent haha.
I then see three burritos plop down the stairs.
"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" they chant.
"666 BOOTY OOOYEAH"
Then a parade of flaky pugs baracade through the gates.
To be continued :)
Oct 22 2015