The door clattered shut behind her, but Athena didn't bother waiting for Jax or his companion. She was too keyed up - running on too little sleep and too much information was starting to wear on her. If she could only make it through a couple more hours, Athena could slip away and find a bed. Hopefully.
"Wait up!" Jax called from behind her, his footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.
Sighing, Athena stopped, leaning one shoulder against the wall while she waited for him. Jax eventually walked up, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. Athena was briefly caught off guard by his expression - a mixture of frustration and sadness. Before she could ask, he noticed her watching. His face went blank.
"What do you need to show me?" He asked, looking away from her.
"Uh - where's Grace?" Athena murmured, trying to look around him for the icy blonde.
"She said she had other things to do beside chase us around." Jax shrugged.
"Huh. Well, I wanted to show you our training room since you've mentioned your apparent knack for fighting, but that can wait for tomorrow." Athena sighed, her previous anxiety rearing its ugly head. She suddenly couldn't look him in the eye.
"What wrong?" Jax said immediately, his eyes narrowed on her.
Athena flinched, remembering Grayson's previous elation over the latest information from the castle. She had celebrated with him at the time, but reflecting on it made her feel guilty. But then, Grayson hadn't given up everything to save her.
"The King made an announcement today..." Athena whispered, the words getting stuck in her throat.
She watched as Jax's face grew stony, his eyes slits of anger. She'd never seen him look so disgusted at the mention of something.
"And?" he prompted when she didn't continue.
"They held your funeral yesterday..." Athena forced out, closing her eyes when pain flashed briefly across his face. "The King has announced that his son, the crown prince Jackson, was executed for treason. Because of his son's action, the messiah was able to escape. He said no one was above the law - least of all a prince."
When Jax didn't say anything, Athena slowly opened her eyes. His expression was unreadable. She couldn't tell if he was upset by his father's actions, or if he really didn't care. Athena couldn't imagine having a father so cruel - her own father had been a kind metalworker who'd loved his children greatly.
"...Are you okay?" She asked, hesitantly.
"Yeah." Jax sighed, "If you knew my father, you wouldn't be surprised."
Athena watched as Jax ran his hands over his face. He was taking the news better than she expected - considering his father had used him as a political platform to further his reign.
"I know your father's wrath better than you think." Athena whispered. Turning she began walking again, trying to ignore the look of pity she'd seen flash in his eyes. "Come on, loser - I know where the showers are. We could both use one."
"Together?" Jax teased, the usual humor back in his tone.
"Ew - you wish." Athena replied, rolling her eyes as a blush crept up her cheeks.
Φ
The blood was everywhere. It coated her skin, hot and sticky between her fingers as she tried to pick up the gun. But she couldn't get a grip - it kept slipping through her fingers, clattering to the floor with each failed attempt. She could hear their footsteps. Incessant pounding that mirrored her heartbeat, reminding her she didn't have much time left.
Please, please, please, I don't want to die.
She stooped to pick up the gun again, delicate fingers curling around the butt. Her hair hung in blood-covered clumps around her face, her dark skin painted with red. Focus. She had to focus, or the soldiers would find her and it would all be over.
Over.
Didn't she want it to be over? Didn't she want to die? Her parent's broken bodies lay behind her, their brains splattered like art all over the walls. She didn't know how to survive. One week outside of the cabin and she'd be dead, so why did it matter if she was killed by animals or the King's soldiers?
The pounding, relentless footsteps halted outside the back door. She stood not even a leap away. Choices - hadn't Papa always said one day it would cost her to be so indecisive? Fear mingled with blood on her tongue. The door knob slowly turned and before she could think further, Athena reached for it - steady hands pointing the gun just like her father had taught her.
Φ
Athena jumped from the bed like she was on fire, tears clouding her vision. She fought to breathe, but all that escaped her lungs were rasps. Her thin tank top clung to her damp skin, reminding her far too much of the blood from her dream. Nightmares from that night hadn't plagued Athena since before her capture. But, she'd known better to assume they had left for good.
The concrete floor was cold under her feet as Athena padded back and forth, working the tension from her muscles. Eventually, she was calm enough to sit back down - this time on the edge of her bed. Sighing, she let her head drop into her clasped hands. The eerie quiet of the room was grating on her nerves. Athena knew that if she didn't get some quality sleep soon, she'd break down. Probably in front of everyone, knowing her luck.
Where else could she go? Jax's room instantly came to mind. She'd become used to his protective and calm presence these last few months. Though she was loath to admit it, Jax had become a very decent friend. Okay, maybe friend was too strong of a word - but she trusted him, inexplicably. That alone counted for something. But going to him in the witching hours of the night wasn't a good idea. Not only bad, but incredibly awkward.
Grayson's room? Athena groaned, a deep blush making its way onto her cheeks. There was no way she could go see Grayson just because she was feeling vulnerable - he'd think she was crazy. Plus, she didn't really know what their relationship was. Or what she wanted it to be, as Grayson had implied earlier.
Jax it was. At least she didn't care what he thought of her. Well, at least she didn't care a lot. Exhaling loudly in annoyance, Athena stood up and walked to the small duffle bag of clothing she'd left behind before her kidnapping. Carefully, she selected a huge sweatshirt with a bear on the front, and pulled it over her head. Basking in the familiarity, she padded over to the door and slipped into her combat boots. Then, with one final sigh, she stepped into the hallway.
Total silence greeted her.
The corridor was deserted, pale ceiling fixtures flickering and casting ominous shadows on the walls. Athena practiced her breathing exercises, slipping into the easy rhythm despite that it'd been months since she had last used them. Her light footsteps echoed, reminding Athena of the soldiers from her dream. She walked faster.
Two lefts later she was standing in front of Jax's door, her previous reservations rearing their ugly heads. She'd never hear the end of it. He would tease her relentlessly. Though Athena didn't expect Jax to be cruel in his teasing, she knew he'd never let her forget. Plus - what was she even going to do? Sleep in his room? No.
Curly, black locks bounced back and forth as she shook her head, surprised by her foolishness. Deciding to go back to her room, and brave out the next round of nightmares alone, Athena turned. The door squeaked as it opened behind her.
"Athena?"
She froze, embarrassment surging through her. She couldn't believe she'd really walked all this way because of a nightmare. Athena blamed her still sleep-addled mind.
"Er - what are you doing here?" Jax asked from behind her.
"I couldn't sleep." She blurted out before she could stop herself, turning to look at him.
Color creeped into her cheeks, but she couldn't help but notice Jax wasn't sleep-mussed at all. Rather, it looked like he hadn't even gone to bed. The shower had done wonders for them both; thankfully, she no longer looked like a dirty rat. Jax's previous good looks, which hadn't been too visible through all the grim, were back. Thick, chocolate brown hair was pushed back from the soft angles of his face, giving him a wholesome boy-next-door vibe.
"I take it you can't either?" She guessed, one eyebrow arched.
Jax didn't respond as he stepped aside and waved for her to enter - but Athena did see him roll his eyes. She stepped daintily over the threshold, making sure to trample right over his feet.
"Jeez!" He yelped, shutting the door with a thud, and bending over to rub his instep. "What was that for?"
Athena decided he didn't deserve a response. Instead, she stalked over to his still made bed and sat down, perched on the edge like a bird ready to take flight.
"I figure you won't mind if I sleep here." Athena began, her irritation overriding her initial embarrassment. "Only for tonight that is - my room has a draft, so I can't stay there."
"A draft. Right." Jax sighed, falling gracefully to sit on the floor, his legs crossed. "You having nightmares again?"
Startled by his words, Athena jumped to her feet, her emerald eyes wide as she stared at him.
"You know about my nightmares?" She asked, her voice sounding shriller than she intended.
Jax winced.
"It's hard not to, Athena." He said softly, gesturing for her to sit back down. "You cry out in your sleep sometimes, that's all."
Torn between wanting to flee, and the sad yet not pitying look in Jax's eyes, Athena slowly sat back down. Her heart fluttered in her chest like hummingbird, and a thousand different thoughts seeming to run through her head all at once. Yet, despite the warning bells ringing within her, Athena began to speak.
"My parents were killed by soldiers." She blurted out, eyes wide. "I was only twelve."
Jax frozen in front of her, his body tense as he waited for her to continue. Thankful for the silence, she did.
"T-They came into our home late at night." She cleared her throat, memories flashing through her mind. "I think they were coming for me. When I was even younger, they took my brother Dimitri, so I assume they wanted to take me too."
Horrible images flashed through her mind, and for a terrifying second Athena thought she would be overwhelmed by them. A slight pressure on her knee brought her back. Eyes like saucers, she looked down and saw that Jax was squeezing her knee, his face sympathetic. Athena looked away. She wanted to stop talking - heck, she needed to stop talking, but she didn't think she could. She'd repressed it long enough.
"I woke up because of a faint popping. I thought maybe Mama was cooking." Athena gave a humorless laugh, her voice breaking as she continued. "I ran out of my room, excited. But...something didn't feel right. When I rounded the corner, there was blood everywhere. I didn't know what to do. I tried to staunch the wounds, but there was so much blood."
"Athena -" Jax tried to intervene, but she spoke over him, her voice falling to a barely audible whisper when he stopped.
"Papa wasn't dead yet, but god, he couldn't stop crying. He was in so much pain, Jax. I didn't have a choice - I had to...help him. He asked me to. Before I knew it, the soldiers were coming and I was running. I don't remember much of what happened after that."
She was panting, her chest rising and falling as if she'd run a mile. But her eyes were dry. The memories were too familiar. They'd haunted her for too long.
"Thank you for telling me." Jax whispered, his voice choked up as his head lolled forward to rest on his raised knees, his hand still clasping her knee.
Athena let herself fall backwards onto the cot, hair spilling around her like a halo of ink. For the first time in a long while, she felt light. As if a burden had been lifted from her soul. It was like this, that Athena finally fell back asleep.