"Well physically everything checks out okay Olivia. You're in good health and don't smoke, so no worries there for baby," Dr. Rose explained as she wheeled her chair from between my legs and changed her gloves. I sat up, glad to be done having a conversation staring at the ceiling while she was staring at my vulva.
"Any concerns about my age?," I asked, wanting to know if being in my early thirties would be a hinderance.
"I won't be concerned until you've been trying with no success for a year, but we can run tests after six months if you get to that point. Trying to conceive is a process, it doesn't always happen right away," she explained, fidgeting with her glasses and not making me feel at ease.
My desire to plan everything was upset by reality. There was only so much you could do to prepare for conception. The rest was up to that one strong swimmer to get his shit together.
"So, what should I be doing to increase the likelihood of getting pregnant?," I asked, tilting my head and checking to make sure the paper blanket was covering me. Why I was worried about modesty when she had literally just seen everything, I didn't know.
"Keep healthy, have unprotected sex when you're ovulating, don't stress," she said matter of factly. She looked down at a Manila folder of my personal information and adjusted the glasses on her nose again. "Let's see, looking at your chart you seem to have a bit of shorter cycle," she paused. "That's actually great in this case because you don't have to wait the standard two weeks between your menstrual cycle and ovulation, it'll be about 10-12 days between."
I always hated having a short cycle because I had my period so often, but I guess it was finally a good thing.
"Will that affect my chances of conceiving?," I questioned.
"No, I don't see why it would," she shook her head. "So, it looks like you ovulated this past week, probably on Friday."
As soon as she said it I realized that was when Harry and I were in New York. I hadn't even thought I was ovulating then. Honestly, I hadn't been paying attention like I usually did. I knew my cycle well, but once I had resolved to get pregnant, it was less of a worry. Not to mention we only had two days together, so we were bound to make the most of it. I was broken from my thoughts when she spoke again.
"If your cycle repeats you should be ovulating again in July, around the 9th or 10th. If you want to be sure, I recommend an ovulation test. They're pretty accurate and then you don't need to have sex everyday." I laughed in my head, knowing that too much sex was not a worry Harry or I had. "Anything else Miss Taylor?," she asked with a kind smile.
"No, I hopefully won't have anymore questions until I'm actually pregnant," I smiled back at her.
"Alright, then I'll let you get dressed and you can check out up front. Good luck to you and–," she paused, "I'm sorry I don't know your husband's name."
"Harry," I replied, not phased by her question until I had blurted out an answer. The fluidity of his name off my tongue in that moment caught me off guard, but it seemed best not to correct her assumption. I knew Harry and my situation was far from traditional, it didn't seem worth it to explain.
"Good luck to you and Harry," she nodded while she outstretched her hand. Her handshake was gentler than I expected, not weak, but not forceful like you'd expect someone of authority to have.
"Thanks Dr. Rose," I smiled. She nodded with a genuine smile as she closed the door behind her.
After she left the room I shed my paper garments and got dressed. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of excitement about all of this. It was actually happening. Not to mention there was now a chance I could be pregnant, though I wouldn't know until the end of the month when my period was due. I wanted to call and talk to Harry about it instantly, not only because he was clearly involved in the process, but he was the only other person who knew.
I had hung out with Jessie two days ago and I desperately wanted to tell her. She was my best friend and it would be great to have her to confide in, but I knew I couldn't. Once we were expecting she'd be one of the first people I told, but for now this secret was just ours, well and maybe Louis'. He knew Harry had asked me and Louis had sensed my feelings of doubt were wavering, but he knew nothing more than that.
As I buckled myself into the front seat, I checked to see what time it was in Denmark, where Harry was. Once I determined it was still a reasonable hour to give him a call, I dialed him up on my bluetooth, not wanting to wait until I got home.
"Hey babe! How was the doctor?," He asked with excitement. I couldn't help but smile that he remembered my appointment and was awaiting my call.
"Great. She said everything looks good."
"Well I could've told you that babe. It always looks good to me," he teased in his low sexy tone.
"Stop!," I said back playfully.
"Sorry babe," he chuckled. "What else did she say?"
"Oh, nothing, just that I most likely ovulated while we were in New York," I said casually, waiting for his reaction.
"Wait? So that means you could be," Harry paused and his voice got quiet, "pregnant?," he whispered into the phone I assumed he wasn't alone wherever he was.
"It's possible. I guess it could've been baby-making sex after all," I chuckled.
"Babe! When will we know? Do feel okay? Any signs?" Harry was rambling with excitement.
"Harry, it hasn't even been a week," I laughed. "I don't feel any different, but you will be the first to know."
"Okay. Sorry, I just got excited. You've made me so happy babe."
"Harry. Let's not get excited yet. It's not always a first try sort of thing. I don't want you to be disappointed if I'm not pregnant."
The reality was, as my doctor had put it, it wasn't always easy to get pregnant. I'd never tried before, so I had no idea of my capabilities in this area.
"I know, I'll try not to get my hopes up. But I don't mean just with this. You've just made me so happy Liv." Harry's honest confession made my eyes water with emotion. "I love you babe."
"I love you too Harry," I said, not hiding my current emotional state.
"Babe, are you alright?," he asked, picking up on my shaky voice and sniffles.
"I'm fine. Just happy tears," I explained.
"Is that a sign? Crying out of the blue?"
"Harry!," I scolded with a laugh. "Be patient." At least now I was laughing.
"I'm impatient! I told you babe, I have no control around you," Harry answered back.
"No Contro-o-o-ol!," I sang out, not able to resist.
"Well, I certainly set you up for that one didn't I?," Harry said sounding less than amused.
"Yes. Yes you did," I laughed at my own joke. "So how are things in Denmark babe?"
"Pretty good. We're just hanging out in the hotel right now. Might order some dinner soon. Pretty uneventful day, well until now." I could hear the smile in his voice. "Everyone says hello by the way."
"Hello...everyone?," I said as a question, not knowing who was actually there. Harry chuckled at me.
"It's me, Lou, Lux, Louis and Liam. Woah. That's a lot of Ls. Why am I surrounded by all you L people? I'm weirded out now! I feel outnumbered." Harry was pretending to be creeped out.
"Because we're the best and you love us," I sung back playfully.
"Well this is mostly true."
"Mostly?," I scoffed at him.
"Alright, chill out. Both apply to you." I heard shuffling on Harry's end. "And both apply to you too Lux," he said in a childlike way.
"Uncle Harry, you're done now." Lux's tiny voice ordered with full-sized sass.
"Oh am I? I hadn't quite finished talking to Liv. You remember Liv, don't you?"
"The nice lady with the arms like my crayons?," she asked.
"Yes," Harry laughed. "She's my girlfriend. I miss her, so I want to talk to her."
"You can talk to me. I miss you sometimes too Uncle Harry," she said with an obvious pout. My heart melted.
"It's okay baby. I'm almost home anyways. I'll let you go," I said, not wanting to make Lux jealous. The wrath of a three year old was not something to play around with.
"Okay babe, sorry," he apologized. "I love you. Talk to you soon."
"I love you too. I'll keep you posted," I said before ending the call.
Hearing Harry interact with Lux only made me look forward to this whole thing more. He was great with her and I knew without a doubt he'd be an excellent father one day. Maybe one day soon.
I pulled up to my gate and continued up the drive with a sigh. Every time I talked to Harry I would find myself missing him terribly afterwards. Our phone calls and video chats were great, some really great, but it wasn't him. I missed his scent, that cool refreshing smell with a hint of his distinct musk that I wanted drink in. I missed the feel of him, the firm warmth of his body against me, his strong hands holding me tight, and his soft kisses.
Walking through the front doors to my empty house I went straight for the bedroom. I pulled a small duffle bag from under the bed and filled it with a few changes of clothes and other necessities I'd need. I wasn't sure how long I'd be gone, but once I felt I'd packed enough, I was back out at my car. I tossed my duffle bag on the passenger's seat and drove back down the way I came. I missed him too much, I needed him.