[THIS IS THE 2017 VERSION OF HTM! THE 2024 REWRITTEN VERSION IS NOW AVAILABLE!!!]
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:
As the days went by, everything around me seemed colorless. As much as I wanted to sit at home and stay in bed, I decided against it. I had this dull, empty feeling inside of me and needed to distract myself from it. Only, everywhere I went, I managed to find myself in his presence. Whenever that happened, the ache felt bigger and when he wasn't around, it was still there but not as intense.
If anyone outside of the knowing circle knew about it, they didn't say anything about it. I did get strange looks and the gossiping increased but I blocked it all out. I was going to force myself through this because I wanted this and I was still too stubborn to bring it to an end.
Meanwhile, Luke had moved to Newport temporarily to continue tracking Sammie. He worked with Alex's trackers and he and Alex had gotten close enough that Luke often sent messages trying to get me to give into the ache inside. He'd tell me that it wouldn't end well if I dragged it out but I would then change to subject.
Nathan soon piggybacked Luke's reasoning, even though I could tell he didn't want to. However, the only reason why he kept bringing it up was due to the fact the separation was affecting him too.
According to the lecture Luke gave me, Alex, Nathan, and I were connected in a way. I was the center so whatever happened to me--depending on how strong our bonds were--the damage would take a toll onto them just as bad as it would on me. Apparently our bonds were strong enough to make us sick.
The end of the school week came and I felt at my worst. My skin was pale, my hands trembled, and I had cold sweats. I spent most of my morning in the nurse but left when the lunch bell rang. I figured if I ate something, it would ease the shaking so I grabbed something small; an apple. I didn't stay long in the cafeteria, too many eyes were on me and too many voices had too much to say. It was suffocating.
I sat in the courtyard alone. It was a bit warmer out with summer approaching. It was nice, feeling the soft glow of the sun on my skin. It tingled since my hands were freezing but nonetheless, it was nice. Being alone was nice too but my thoughts filled the silence around me.
"He's right," I teared up. "I am stubborn."
I buried my face in my hands, crying softly. The guilt was finally starting to eat away at me. I was confused though. I wasn't sure why I felt this guilty. Maybe because bad things were happening because of me. Bad things that I still didn't know about. I suddenly had a whole other world thrown onto me without any manual on how to get through it. I was becoming paranoid about the future, what was to come after this?
Death, of course.
A chill ran down my spine. I didn't want that. I didn't want anyone to die, not because of me, not for me, not at all.
"But it's inevitable, isn't it?"
I jumped at the sound of the voice. My body chilled over when I took in the sight before me.
"A hybrid, huh?" Demetria said. She was sitting with her back facing me but I could tell it was her. There was no mistaking her voice. It was a complete contrast to her appearance. She looked innocent but when she spoke, she was cold and emotionless.
"You got dealt a bad hand, Hailey." She says. "I know what that feels like."
I wanted to ask her what she meant but my mouth was so dry I couldn't even make a sound.
"But bad hands have to be played out too." She smirked over her shoulder. "Don't take it personal, okay?"
She was quick to swing her body over to my side of the table and pulling me down to the ground. I was too weak to defend myself as she grabbed my neck and jabbed a knife into the side of it. Immediately, blood poured out of the fresh wound and pooled around my head. Tears rolled down the sides of my face as I felt my hands falling limp. As I was dying, all I could ask myself was why.
Why?
Why was this happening to me?
"See you soon Hailey." Were Demetria's parting words.
Through hazy vision, I watched her leave until she disappeared completely.
As I lay there, wheezing through my last breaths, I tried my hardest to focus on staying awake. I wasn't going to die here, not today either. I was overcome with that same sensation I felt in the woods that day only, it wasn't rage, it was the guilt from before. I felt that if I died now, I'd die regretting a lot of things.
So, I forced myself to try and channel that side of me from that day in the woods. I focused on calming my racing heart and tried laboring my breathing. It burned so much but I could feel the skin on my neck trying to patch itself up. I regained feeling in my hands eventually, I grabbed my wound to stop the bleeding as much as I could until I found help. I managed to turn over on my side, however, instead of the blood flooding out of my neck, it came flooding out of my mouth. Still, I pushed myself onto all fours and crawled towards the school doors.
I went in and out of tunnel vision. The blood loss was beginning to take its toll and arms were growing shaky.
"Come on," I wheezed. I reached up for the door handle, cursing at everything because it was so high up. I stretched until it pained me to do so but still, I fell short.
My body slumped against the adjacent wall and my wound had reopened. I cupped my neck but the blood still ran down my body, ruining my clothes. My breathing became ragged again and panic was setting in.
"Somebody," I whispered. "Help me."
It was a shot in the dark but I knew that someone would hear me. They were always so busy trying to get into my head, they had to hear me now.
As if by some miracle, I caught a glimpse of an ambulance pulling up to the school. Paramedics quickly jumped out of the vehicle, spotted me, and came rushing over. I couldn't help but smile to myself.
"Well played Demetria," My eyes started to become heavy. "Well played."
***
I woke up in the hospital in a room again. There was a burning sensation in my neck and my torso felt a little sore as well. Now that I was focusing on it, everything kind of hurt. Especially my chest, that hurt the most.
"Hailey," A hand grabbed mine. "I'm so sorry."
It was my mother.
One could laugh at her apology in light of recent events. She had disappeared after breaking the news that I was a hybrid. She left without explanation and now, after I've skipped death again, she shows up with an apology. I wanted to snap at her. I wanted to rip my hand out of her hand and tell her to leave. I felt so angry by her apology but I still let tears fall down my face. I still let her hold me as I cried. I let her comfort me because I needed it. I needed my mother right now.
"I know, I know." She stroked my hair. "Alex told me everything."
I pulled away from her hold.
"I'm really sorry I haven't been there for you Hailey," She apologizes again. "I don't have a good enough excuse for you but just know I'm trying to sort things out so it's easier for you. So please, hang in there." She caresses my cheek with a sad smile.
Was this my mother? Was this the same woman who swore up and down to me as a kid she'd never let anything happen to me? The same with Alex and Nathan. Aren't they supposed to be protecting me like she wishes? Why? Why are bad things still happening to me if I'm supposed to be protected?
"Because you can't protect yourself."
"Hailey?" My mom questions. She was staring at me with wide eyes. Then her expression changed entirely. "You."
My insides started to burn causing me to cry out in pain. A deep grumble rumbled in the pit of my stomach, a growl resulted. I gripped the bed tightly, gasping for air that had suddenly left my body.
My mother had been knocked to the side, blood running down the side of her head. She had a look of terror on her face as our eyes locked. Tears welled in her eyes as the words left my mouth.
"Mom, it hurts."
Nurses rushed to the doorway before turning back the way they came. My mother backed herself into the corner. She was shouting things at me, her voice cracking because she was tired. However, she wasn't speaking directly at me but rather what had taken over.
"It hurts. It hurts." I was curled into fetus position on the floor. Tears were falling down my face but the being that had taken control was pushing my body past its limits.
"Hailey," My mother called. My head snapped in her direction. "Deep breaths. Take control."
She was slowly inching closer to me, a shaking hand extended at me. The other, I noticed, hid a syringe behind her back.
I growled, swinging at her and making contact with the side of her head. I let out a mix between a cry and an angry growl, something that was painful to the ears.
"She tried to get rid of me." I spoke.
"Let me go," I said, beginning to fight myself. "I don't want this anymore. I want to go back to a normal life--"
"You have no normal life!" The other me growled. It dug my nails into the skin on the inside of my arm. Blood seeped through the broken skin before healing immediately. "You aren't normal, Hailey. You will never be normal."
I cried harder, fighting myself. No matter how loud I screamed. No matter how hard I cried. Nothing would let up. I still burned inside and healed every time I managed to hurt myself. ALl the voices I had been suppressing exploded simultaneously in my head. Everything from traffic to the doctor three floors up breaking bad news to a family, I heard it all. I felt it all.
"Make it stop," I cried. "Please!"
I heard the door clang against the adjacent wall from being kicked open. Soon, I was consumed in warmth and a familiar tingle ran up my spine painfully. The heat inside increased tremendously making it feel like I was sitting in fire. I cried out in pain, trying to break free from the hold I was in but they only held me tighter.
"I'm sorry."
My body fell limp and my tears stopped at the brim. The heat subsided and the voices left my head, leaving an ache in its wake.
"I'm sorry, Hailey." Alex repeated again. "I really am."
He was in my head.
It didn't hurt with him in there like it did with everyone else. His voice had calmed me down enough that I could focus on my mother who was watching the scene before her. She still looked scared out of her mind but she seemed at ease now that he was here. My mind and body was now at ease as well because he was here.