The hospital doors open and a few dozen people start to file in. Some unfamiliar, others extremely well known to me. What I notice is that Peeta refuses let me out of his grasp. He wraps his arms around me tighter than ever before. I can't help thinking that we're scared of the same thing. Gale walking in among the people and ruining our wedding. Again. Hurting me. Hurting us. Again. I gaze at the guests. Shuffling about the room trying to find a comfortable place to settle. Asking Peeta questions. Asking if he's okay. His answer is the same every time.
"No. But I'll get better."
No one questions me, though. That's because my friends and family are smart.
I look around again. Some people are crying. Madge sobbing. The poor girl is just too sensitive. I feel so bad that I have to temporarily separate myself from Peeta and give her a warm embrace. And that's saying something.
I have a strong feeling that she's thinking about her father. I noticed that he wasn't in the audience when I walked down the aisle. I know the man. And I know he'd never pass up a celebration of any kind. I remember on the day Peeta proposed. At the bakery. Mayor Undersee looked so tired and pale. His eyes half closed. He couldn't have gotten better since then.
"Katniss," I hear Peeta say, bringing me back from my daydreaming. I turn my head in his direction and meet his sparkling blue eyes. I know our situation isn't the best, but I can tell that he's elated about our marriage. It's finally happening. Not in the way that we want it to, but still. We're getting married! I know that the extra few hours that he was forced to wait must have been worse than the twenty years leading up to this day.
"While everyone sits down," he begins, carefully leaning over to the plastic table next to the bed and grabbing something familiar. Something that I've seen before. "It's for you."
Peeta hands me an envelope. The same envelope that my mother was holding when I spotted her in the back row. When I was in the tent with Madge. Her unforgettable handwriting spells out the word "Katniss." The writing that used to be on my birthday cards. The writing that I would always find hidden in my school lunches. Little notes telling me to have a great day. Telling me that she loved me. Now that I think about it, she probably placed those notes in my school lunch to fill up the empty space in the bag. The empty space that should have been containing food. I hold the card close to my heart and look back up.
"When did she give this to you?" I ask.
"Earlier today," Peeta responds.
It must have been right after she left me. She must have gone to see Peeta. See if he was okay. She must have been terrified. She knew that if Peeta wasn't okay, I would turn into her. Blank and clouded. Ignorant and irresponsible. She's right. That is terrifying.
"She gave me this too. Your mother said it was on your dress," Peeta continues.
Another familiar item is in his hands. Extremely familiar. My pin. My mockingjay. I completely forgot about it. I just stare at it for a couple of moments, taking in it's significance and impact on my life.
"No," I whisper. Peeta raises an eyebrow. He's obviously confused.
"I don't... Need this. Anymore." I say, closing Peeta's hands around the pin. The mockingjay is a sign of rebellion. A sign that represents fighting and war. Fire and destruction. And those are the last things that I want to be forced to think about right now.
Peeta smiles when I shake my head no and push his hands against his chest. I bet he wanted me to reject his offer. He knows that the mockingjay doesn't only represents rebellion. It represents Katniss Everdeen. And that girl doesn't define me anymore.
You can open it," Peeta says, acknowledging the letter. "If you want. The priest isn't even here yet."
He wants me to open it? Right now? I nod and carefully tear open the envelope, being extra careful not to rip the contents inside. I take out the perfectly folded letter and hold it tightly between my fingers.
Alright Katniss. Take a deep breath. Unfold the paper, Katniss. Look at the letters, Katniss. Read the words, Katniss.
My daughter,
The three and a half years that we have been apart has given me more than enough time to think, and I now know what you've been trying to tell me for my entire life. I have had the blessing to understand why I am who I am. I have grasped onto the actions that I have demonstrated over the years, and I am absolutely not proud of them. I was not a role model, and I'm sure that I'll never even be close to the idea of one. Considering my past, I'll never be able to reach the standards that you've set for yourself and I. I won't have the chance to achieve the pride and honor that you've worked so hard to grant yourself with. I will never have the option or ability to put my trust in a man as good as yours, and I know, from taking our lives into account, you'll never be able to put your trust in me again. I let you and my happiness perish only due to a small misfortune. You have had many more dilemmas in your life than I will ever be forced to encounter, and I'm sorry that I was never available to help you get through and conquer those hardships. My one regret that continuously stabs at my beating heart day after day is the fact that I didn't spent enough time with you and your sister. Now you both have left me to be my own person and understand and accept the mistakes that I've made. I know now that I will never get either of you back and I know that things will never be the same as before. What I don't know is the happiness you're feeling about your wedding. I married your father because I loved him, but I could never imagine cherishing him as much as you and Peeta cherish each other. If you aren't already aware, I've given your fiancé my ring that your father gave to me. I've chose to do this for many reasons, Katniss. The main one being that I don't need or use the accessory anymore. It's of no use to me, and of great use to you. It's not expensive, but it's special. Like Peeta. Please have a fulfilling and successful life with the baker's son. I will always be in district 4 if you need me.
-Ms. Everdeen (Mom)
I fold the paper up and place it back in the envelope. I hand it to Peeta to put back on the side table.
"You're alright?" He asks, taking my hand.
"Yeah," I cough. I don't know how I feel. I was already aware of everything that was written, but it's such a different experience when I'm out into the position to comprehend something that has come from my mother's heart and mind. I look around the room and don't spot her unforgettable appearance. She's probably too traumatized after seeing me and my fiancé almost killed by a boy that she knew and still knows extremely well. She's probably already on the train back to District 4. I don't blame her, though. I'd probably do the exact same thing.
I examine my surrounding once more. Everyone has seated themselves in uncomfortable looking locations. Some on top of the heater, others barely fitting on the ledge of the bay window.
"When are we starting?" I whisper. I don't want my loved ones to have to be uncomfortable. For me.
"As soon as the priest finished setting up," Peeta points to the foot of the bed. There I see the same man that attempted to marry us hours ago. I must have missed him entering while I read the letter. We meet eyes and he his lips form a sympathetic smile. When I turn away, he stands up straighter and begins to speak.
"I would like to apologize with all of my heart for the pain and misfortune that Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark were forced to endure earlier today," the priest begins. "But now nothing can hurt them. You will, after this day, be together until death departs us. So let's just pick up where we left off, shall we?"
I nod and can't help noticing the huge grin beginning to engulf Peeta's entire face. I smile too, but the feeling just isn't the same as earlier today. I know that we're getting married, but this doesn't feel like a wedding at all. I guess it's not, if you think about it. I don't have a dress, hair, makeup. All of these things were removed or undone after I passed out. We're not at a beautiful venue anymore. We're in hospital bed. Unable to move due to injuries. I don't even have a bouquet or a cake. The only thing that wasn't taken away from me while I was unconscious was my ring. And Peeta's. I briefly see the same gold shimmer that I saw in Sapphires shop weeks ago. I swear I could recognize that piece of art anywhere. It's just so beautiful.
"Do you Katniss Everdeen," I snap my head towards the priest. "Take Peeta Mellark to be your lawful wedded husband?"
"Well of course," I mumble immediately. Everyone laughs, but I can hear Johanna's familiar cackle distinctly above the others. I turn towards the source of the laugh and shoot a dirty look in the general direction.
"Yes," I say louder, stubbornly. At least I'm attempting not to upset anyone. "I do."
The priest chuckles and continues. "And do you Peeta Mellark take Katniss Everdeen to be your lawful wedded wife?"
"I do," Peeta says surely. Telling by the confident tears forming in his eyes, I know that there's nothing in the world that could have or would have influenced his answer.
"Alright," the priest smiles. "The time has finally come. You may now seal your vows with a kiss."
Peeta leans in and our lips meet.
And I'm free.
Free as a bird.
Free as a mockingjay.
I faintly hear the rest of the room clapping and cheering, but I'm mostly blocking them out. All I focus on is my husband's perfect features that are oh so close to mine. My husband. This single kiss changes our entire lives. And now I'm never going back.
"And now Ladies and Gentlemen," The priest laughs over the crowd, "I have the pleasure of presenting to you Mr. and Mrs. Peeta Mellark!"
The clapping continues. And I'm so happy. I'm smiling so wide against Peeta's lips, but not as wide as Peeta is. I never want this moment to end. And it never will. We're married. We will be spending the rest of our lives in the position that we are showcasing right now. In each other's arms.
My loved ones are so loud and supportive that I can barely hear the hospital door creek open. It's the nurse again. The one that I was frightened of before I came in the room. She's not nearly as scary now. Now that I'm married. Now that I have Peeta by my side. Forever.
"Excuse me, Mrs. Everdeen-" The nurse starts.
"Excuse me, ma'am," Peeta cuts her off, mockingly. "This beautiful girl is not Katniss Everdeen anymore. This is Katniss Mellark."
I smile and am pulled into another kiss. And I don't argue. I just can't seem to get over my name now. Katniss Mellark. I can't even think about it without a grin forming on my face. Nothing can make me sad right now. And the only thing that stops Peeta from kissing me is when the nurse rolls her eyes and continues with her statement.
"You have a visitor with the last name of Hawthorne."
I hope you enjoyed! Be sure to vote, comment, and follow me! Thank you!
-Melanie 🦁