This had been going on for too long, and it had only been a day. Lauren tolerated them yesterday, but she found that they were completely insufferable by the time they ate breakfast the next day. The conversation they offered was ridiculous. Lauren felt like she was actually losing brain cells just by being in their vicinity. With her bowl of cereal situated in front of her, she desperately tried to focus on anything else except for the imbeciles surrounding her.
"North West is definitely a better baby than Blue Ivy," Darren shared his flawed opinion.
"She's so much prettier," Ally nodded as she helped herself to the breakfast Clara had prepared.
"Okay, can you guys stop belittling these babies? You're destroying Blue's self confidence before she even knows she has one. Why are you comparing those little kids? Who gives a damn about which one is cuter? They're both beautiful baby girls," Lauren commented irritably, stabbing around her bowl. Poor Fruity Pebbles. They were taking the brunt of her rage.
No one, not even Camila, paid her words any mind. They paused for a moment, then just continued where they left off.
"What kind of name is Blue Ivy anyway?" Ally disregarded Lauren's request and continued from where she'd left off.
"I think it's cool. It's definite unique. It's not a name like Ally, which is hella common," Camila countered with a smirk, carelessly taking a jab at the older girl. Lauren side-eyed her when she noticed how differently she was speaking again.
"At least people would be able to get it right, Camilla," Ally challenged instantly, replying with the mispronounciation that constantly plagued the girl across from her.
"North West isn't much better," Darren sided with her and rested his elbows on the table.
"They're both dumb names," Ally shrugged and picked off all of the onions and peppers and whatnot Clara had cooked into their meals.
"They're clever. Even though North West is more of a pun than anything. Blue Ivy is a little strange," Camila subtly agreed, but didn't directly discredit either one when she acknowledged the incredulous look she was receiving from Lauren. "But there's nothing wrong with it."
"I don't think Beyoncé even had that baby. It was definitely a fake pregnancy," Darren added, looking largely unconvinced. Lauren narrowed her eyes at his stupid responses. She knew both Dinah and Normani would have some choice words for him if they heard him say that shit. It made no sense anyway. While Lauren had her own opinions, Camila was deeply enthralled.
"Yeah, didn't her stomach like, fold over on national tv or something?" Camila broached with her mouth full. Lauren was still glaring at her for feeding into their idiotic discussion. She was equally as annoyed with her as she was with everyone else surrounding her.
"Yeah!" Ally confirmed animatedly.
"Blue looks exactly like Jay-Z though," Darren stated. "There's no denying that."
"Oh my god," Lauren groaned at the lack of intellectually stimulating conversation they were having. Who the fuck cared?
"What about Chris Brown's baby?" Darren mentioned as he considered more celebrity babies and ignored Lauren's rudeness.
"Where did she even come from?" Ally nodded in question.
"I don't know, but it's so sweet that he's actually taking care of her," Camila smiled as she commended Chris Brown. "Did you guys see how he took her to like, Disney World or something?"
"You're shitting me, right?" Lauren spoke up in exasperation and dropped her spoon into the bowl. "He got his goddamm picture taken while he was pushing her stroller. Wow. I am so impressed. Father of the year award recipient right there. Number one dad in America!"
"It's cute," Ally disagreed. "Someone's dad has obviously never taken her to Disney World..."
"Oh my god and Louis from One Direction is having a baby too..." Camila remembered suddenly, and she shared it like it was groundbreaking news. "Well, he's not having the baby... He's a boy... But you know what I mean."
"Yeah, but I don't care about that rat. What's going on with Blue's hair anyway?" Ally questioned with her lips pursed. It was clear that she wasn't a fan.
Lauren had heard about enough. These people were talking shit about babies. They were little girls that hadn't done anything to anyone, but were punished for being born into the spotlight. If they grew up with an altered self perception, it would be because of idiots like them. And they were praising celebrities for such irrelevant tasks. She was disappointed in Camila for actively participating in their conversation. She didn't want to stick around much longer after she was done eating. As soon as her plate was clean, she left. Camila was so engaged, she hardly made note of her absence.
In hopes of a more refreshing conversation, Lauren sent a message in a group chat between herself, Normani, and Dinah. She sat contentedly on the couch and away from all of their ridiculousness. She had her own little bubble to be in. And she was pleased. While catching up with Dinah's hilarious antics, she began to ignore the commotion the group was making in the kitchen.
When she heard the sounds of them finishing up, she took it upon herself to politely remind them to put their plates away. Camila had been here long enough to know better, but she'd left hers there too. That bothered Lauren more than she was willing to admit. What the fuck was she doing? Lauren couldn't tell if she was letting them rub off on her intentionally or if she was really reverting back to her old ways. Either way, she wasn't here for it.
"Camila, tell them to put their plates away," Lauren requested, knowing damn well that they wouldn't pay her any mind had she told them herself. She gave her a glare that didn't go undetected for leaving her plate with theirs.
"It's just a plate," Camila complained and reluctantly turned around to fetch hers. Lauren made a face at her response and waited for her to do what she'd asked. "Guys, can you take your plates to the sink?"
"Yeah, no problem," Darren said complacently, picking up his on his way past the sink.
Lauren knew it would be too much to ask for them to wash it too. She grit her teeth and took care of it for them. At first, she was considering leaving it so they'd hear from Clara later on, but she knew she'd ultimately get blamed for letting them get away without doing it. There was also the fact that each plate had a considerable amount of syrup on it. Lauren knew firsthand how difficult it was to clean syrup that had been left sitting for a while. She put her pride aside and washed each of their plates. When she retired back to the living room, she was dismayed to find them all seated around. And Ally was in her spot. However, unwilling to speak to her when she didn't have to, Lauren just sat elsewhere. For a moment, they were quiet. Ally and Darren were on their phones and Camila was just reclined against the couch, most likely digesting.
"If I Stay was such an amazing movie, oh my god," Ally shared as she scrolled on her phone. She'd just seen a gifset from it and was reminded of how lovely it was at the screening party.
"I thought it was horrible," Lauren deadpanned and rested her head in her hand.
"Do you even like anything?" Darren questioned because every time she'd spoken, Lauren seemed to be so bitter. He suggested doing yoga. It would really help her ease all of her tensions and negativity.
"I like plenty of things, like the book it originated from," Lauren said snippily, irritated from his voice alone.
"It was a book?" Ally tilted her head to the side.
"Kill me," Lauren said pleadingly as she closed her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, wondering why the lord was testing her this way.
"Yeah," Camila answered Ally because she knew Lauren wouldn't. Especially when she was in one of her moods.
"Yes, it was a book. The movie didn't even remotely follow the theme of it. They turned a serious internal battle into a sappy love story geared towards a teenage audience. The values in the movie reflected none of them in the book. The movie made everything about freaking Adam when it was actually about her family. They left out so many beautiful scenes and butchered the ones they decided to recreate. It was a terrible movie," Lauren ranted and ruffled her hair.
"The guy was hot, though," Ally shrugged. That was all that ever mattered in a movie.
"Yeah, they casted it well," Camila agreed with Ally, but looked slightly conflicted about doing so. Lauren couldn't even see why something so superficial would even matter when it was the plot that supposedly drew in the viewers.
"No, they didn't. Most of the characters didn't match their descriptions in the book," Lauren huffed. Camila was unbelievable. They had just had a conversation about this a few nights ago. She was so unwilling to believe how the girl that was ranting about The Fault In Our Stars not being able to compare to the book could just disregard an author's artistic license. Lauren had actually listened to her ramble about how John Green's vision was attempted to be put on screen in vain and how movies never lived up to the expectations from the book, while she thought it did an excellent job. For her to side with Ally on this was just plain hypocritical.
"I know this really good yoga instructor..." Darren said as he came behind Lauren and grasped her shoulders gently. He nearly got shanked.
"Don't touch me," she grumbled and yanked herself away from him.
"If I Stay was just like The Fault In Our Stars in terms of bringing it to the big screen..." Lauren continued pointedly, trying to get Camila to speak up. "They both should've stayed in the text."
"I liked the movies," Camila stretched the truth a bit, but tried to share her real opinion as well. "Ansel Elgort was the perfect Augustus Waters. He was perfect for that role."
"Yeah, he was good. When he died-" Lauren began to share some more of her personal insight, but was interrupted by Ally.
"Oh my god, spoiler alert?!" Ally glared at Lauren for ruining the movie she'd been planning on seeing.
"Wasn't a secret," Lauren addressed Ally monotonously.
"Uh, yes it was? I haven't even seen the movie yet," Ally said incredulously.
"It came out like a year ago..." Lauren deadpanned.
"So? I still haven't seen it. You can't just tell me that he dies!" Ally exclaimed and slumped over, now bummed out because of that undesirable fact.
"Maybe you should've read the book," Lauren quipped. "Anyway... When he died and wrote an obituary for her, the ending was so... She didn't even say 'okay' in the book. She said 'I do'."
"Why would I read the book when there's a movie for me to watch instead?" Ally put to her incredulously and flipped her hair, ignoring the second half of her statement. She had no idea what she was talking about anyway.
"I can't do this," Lauren laughed and made her way towards the exit. Camila followed tentatively, leaving the two behind in the living room. When Lauren realized she had company, she turned to Camila. "Those are your friends? Really? Tweedledee and Tweedledum?"
"Be nice," she pleaded tentatively and awkwardly shuffled behind her. "Where are you going?"
"Nice," Lauren scoffed. "Neither one of them have been nice since they got here. They have their heads so far up their asses. Ally is so goddamn problematic. And who is that guy? Look at his fucking bow tie. Real boyfriend material," she further criticized the abstruse pair Camila had invited to her home and didn't care about her petty comments.
"Lauren..." Camila said uncomfortably and realized she hadn't answered her question. A timid hand extended to stop her advances, but Lauren just brushed past her. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to my room, Camila. I can't stand to be in the same vicinity as those dumbasses. They seem to fit your crowd a lot better than mine," Lauren said without regard to Camila's feelings this time around. In truth, she was so annoyed with Camila for noticeably dumbing herself down to accommodate them. Lauren didn't have it in her to go through such trouble. She'd rather just leave it all alone.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Camila paused and raised an eyebrow in offense. She gripped the staircase railing as she awaited Lauren's explanation.
"Whatever you want it to mean," Lauren said indifferently and continued on her way. In short, it meant her type. Camila was acting exactly like the people she claimed to resent so much. If she was only acting, she sure did have Lauren fooled.
"Lauren," Camila called to the girl that was creating more distance between them. She didn't respond. With her back to her, Lauren stalked towards her room one stair after another. Her silence in response to Camila's desperation created a further rift between them.
Camila figured that she knew what she meant. Lauren's words were quite transparent. Camila knew exactly what she was doing, but what was she supposed to do? She wasn't blunt nor straightforward like Lauren was. It just wasn't in her to constantly correct such ignorant people. The overwhelming need to speak up about the things they said or getting them to change their ways never prompted her into action like it did for Lauren. And besides, they were used to her acting just like them. That was all she knew how to do back on the island. She was a people-pleaser. She couldn't help it. She was slowly finding out that she'd have to choose sides of she was going to have them here with Lauren. They were only here for a few more days. She figured that the least she could do was accommodate them. It would make their time spent here less worrisome and stressful for all.
Camila watched her go with a slight pout. This was a side of Lauren she hadn't necessarily missed. This version of her was so unflattering. It reminded her of the beginning when she was always brooding about something and constantly finding a problem in every little thing. She was treating both Ally and Darren the same standoffish way she once treated Camila. While they weren't the greatest people to surround herself with, they could offer a good time. Camila felt like Lauren really wasn't being fair.
"I'm glad that's over," Ally smirked at Lauren's absence. Her words were directed at Camila, who had just returned solemnly after letting Lauren go on.
"Yeah. She was bringing me down. She can go do her own thing for a little while, it's okay," Darren added when Camila looked back in Lauren's direction. Her concern for the girl was becoming a little annoying to him. To get her to focus on him a little more, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her cheek. "Forget her, babe."
"She'll be fine. She's probably just jealous of us," Ally tried to console Camila with an extremely fake sympathetic pout. Camila just laughed along.
Lauren was standing around the corner indignantly. Halfway through the journey to her room, she thought that maybe she was being a little too harsh. She trailed back down the stairs and tried to readjust her attitude. She'd just been about to apologize and give them a second chance, but she hung around the stairs when she overheard them already speaking about her. Figuring out how they felt about her wasn't rocketscience. Their perception wasn't what bothered her. She didn't care about their insults, knowing it was a mere defense mechanism for their lack of intuition. What upset her was how Camila had yet to defend her. She was expecting her to refute their insults with some nice words about her, just like she did the other day. However, it never came. Instead, Camila was laughing and carrying on with them. It pissed her off. She clenched her jaw as anger coursed through her system and silently made her way back upstairs.
"She's so negative," Darren continued, paying no attention to her extended presence.
"She's just bitter, Dar. Poor people are always like that. You can't be mad at her for being depressed. You just have to ignore her," Ally shared some words of wisdom as she laid a hand on his forearm. "It's just like when you see those gross poor people on the street. You have to ignore them."
"She still has really bad energy," Darren insisted. "I know a bunch of poor people that are great. She's... Not one of them..."
Camila didn't necessarily agree with their logic, but it couldn't be completely discredited. Lauren's behavior definitely wasn't because she was poor, because she wasn't. However, she was being a bit of a pessimist with people that were only trying to have a good time. Neither Ally nor Darren were particularly hurting anyone, Lauren was just being really sensitive to the things they said. She could've eased up a little.
With that in mind, she let her go on. At this point in time, she couldn't be bothered with Lauren's mercurial behavior. Darren and Ally always grew on her with the more time she spent with them. Their company was actually becoming a bit refreshing. Right now, things were lighthearted and happy. Lauren was such a buzzkill sometimes. Without her there, Camila found that she was just as capable of having a good time as before.
-
"Lauren?" Camila knocked warily from behind the closed wooden door. She wasn't sure if she was on good terms with Lauren or not, but after giving her an hour or two of her space, she'd started to miss her. Her fingertips grazed along the white paint as she listened for Lauren's response. "Laur?"
"What?" Lauren called from inside. There was no more malice to her tone. She sounded very detached and despondent.
Taking that as a distant cue, Camila twisted Lauren's doorknob slowly. Her movements were cautious and calculated, making it easier to retract her hand and close the door if Lauren snapped at her for coming in. A second later, her head was peeping through the door. "Hey, Lauren?"
"Yes?" Lauren answered her call easily from her position on the bed.
"Hi..." Camila greeted her idiotically as she pushed the door open further and revealed more of herself. "What's up?"
"Just sketching," Lauren replied monotonously, yet to even glance in her direction.
"Oh, cool," she offered a smile to make the most of this awkward conversation.
"Yep," Lauren nodded without deterring her eyes from the page.
"How are you?" Camila questioned as she distractedly twisted the doorknob.
"Fine," she continued her monosyllabic pattern without looking up.
"Are you okay...?" Camila asked when Lauren's behavior became apparent to her. One-word answers were never a good indication.
"I said I'm fine. But wouldn't you rather be downstairs talking to them than bothering with me up here?" Lauren put to her out of insecurity, but it sounded a lot more spiteful than intended.
"What? No," Camila said incredulously. "I've been talking to them for the past hour."
"I just figured you would," Lauren remarked quietly as she kept up her steady sketching.
"No," Camila reiterated as she hung in the doorway. Her fingers manipulated the cold doorknob, feeling the need to occupy her hands. Walking on eggshells with Lauren always made her feel antsy. She longed to restore that level of comfortability they'd gotten used to. This hostility was strange for her now. "I wanted to talk to you too... But you left."
Well, that much was true. Though perceived as withdrawing from Ally, Lauren actually felt the need to back off for multiple reasons. It was easily detected that she was annoying Camila as well as the rest of them by her constant objections. There was no room for her down in their circle. Lauren was an expert at realizing when she wasn't wanted. Sure, her self banishment stemmed from her annoyance with them, but she was also doing them a favor. She just didn't think Camila would notice, being so wrapped up with them and all.
"I didn't want to intrude," she admitted as she distractedly sketched the eye she was drawing. As she shaded it in and added some texture to it, she felt Camila's gaze on her. A spell of silence settled over the room, and Lauren refused to look up at her. Her stubborness could only last a few seconds, though. The silent stare from across the room was demanding her attention. When she finally made that reluctant eye contact with Camila, it dawned on her whose eye she was subconsciously drawing. It was none other than those soft eyes she was staring right into.
"Intrude on what?" Camila continued, now that she had the visual communication she was longing for.
"Nothing, I guess," Lauren resorted to mumbling as she shifted her gaze back down to the sketch book in her lap. "I'm probably just jealous," she added under her breath spitefully.
"What are you doing?" Camila asked shyly from her seemingly permanent place in the threshold. Lauren had yet to welcome her over.
"Sketching," she answered and discreetly flipped to the next page, just so Camila wouldn't see what she'd been working on.
"Oh, right. I just asked you that..." Camila bit her lip in embarrassment and swung on the door slightly. "Can I see?" Camila asked uncertainly as she inched towards Lauren's bed. The older girl was comfortably reclined against a wall of pillows. Her knees were drawn up and she had her sketch book in her lap. Her simple beauty was reflected now as Camila came nearer.
"Sure," Lauren granted and was somewhat grateful she'd decided to change the page. Camila was standing beside her bed and stiffly leaned down to scrutinize Lauren's work. She was so timid and unsure of herself. For this to happen with the girl she'd gotten so accustomed to lately was unsettling.
"Okay. I don't like this," Camila said in reference to how tense the atmosphere was around them. She felt so restricted here. All of her urges to cuddle and compliment her were being repressed when she wanted nothing more than to act on them.
"Well, it's not finished yet..." Lauren trailed off in offense as she subtly angled the sketch book away from Camila. She regretted sharing it with her now. It was a good thing she didn't see the eye.
"What? No, it's amazing. I'm not talking about your drawings," Camila closed her eyes and physically cleared up the confusion with her hand gestures.
"Oh," Lauren exhaled thankfully. That was about to be the last time Camila would see anything of hers.
"I'm talking about how you're acting. You keep saying you're not mad at me but something is wrong. And I can't read your mind. Will you just tell me?" Camila requested and tried to take initiative, rather than being passive and letting this go on.
"I'm acting different?" Lauren laughed at the irony of her statement. In addition to her words, Camila's expression made it even funnier. Her dark eyebrows were furrowed and she looked so adamant about solving the problem she'd caused.
"Yes. I don't like whatever this is. Can you tell me what's wrong or if I can fix it?" she held Lauren's gaze when she asked.
"I don't like how you've literally changed your entire personality to fit in with them," Lauren closed her sketchbook to get rid of the distraction. If she was going to have this conversation, she was going to give Camila her undivided attention. "That's what all of this is about, since you were wondering."
"I'm not changing my personality...?" Camila's voice rose an octave or two, indication of how much Lauren's blunt answer had taken her off guard. She became instantly defensive.
"Please," Lauren sighed and closed her eyes. "You act completely different when it's just you and I. You're a different person when we're all together, and it's so obvious."
"What's obvious about it? I'm not changing..." Camila refused to accept Lauren's observation. It dawned on her that maybe it was slightly valid, but she didn't want to confirm it. She didn't like having her shortcomings highlighted, so she tried to shift the blame.
"You sat there and let them say problematic shit, but you'd rant about the same things to me when we're in my room at night. You let Ally and Darren talk shit and contributed to the conversation, but you told me that you think everyone should spread positivity and lift each other up and whatnot. And you hardly defended your stance on books when Ally was talking about If I Stay. You contradict yourself every time you're with them. Where was the Camila I know then?" she went with some safe evidence. She had to stop herself from bringing up how Camila laughed with them at her expense, although it was most prominent in her mind.
"Maybe I'm accommodating them a little, but I'm not changing my personality..." she claimed in offense. Her responses were more contemptuous now that Lauren had been able to pinpoint numerous faults in her behavior. It was her indignation that refused to let her submit to Lauren's annotations. And it was her stubborn pride that compelled her to deflect all of her statements. "And so what if I was? It's a lot more than you're doing."
"What?" Lauren's eyebrows knitted together as she turned closer to Camila.
"You haven't exactly been a walk in the park either. You've been dismissive and actually just kind of rude to both of them since they've been here," Camila pointed out. Her argument was nothing short of petty, and she knew it. But that didn't stop the words from coming out of her mouth.
"If I'm rude for correcting them on their ignorance, then so be it. At least I'm being myself," she said pointedly, understanding exactly where Camila was trying to detour this conversation.
"There's a way to do that, though. You were just being mean to them," Camila continued to defend her friends by means of further deflecting Lauren's accusations. She tactfully ignored Lauren's last statement.
"I'm not being 'mean' for speaking up about something that bothers me," Lauren stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, appalled at how Camila was reacting. When did this become about her, anyway? "Up until they got here, I thought all of that bothered you too."
"It does," Camila said resolutely and met Lauren's challenging expression with a bleak one of her own.
"Then why are you being so passive?" Lauren softened her face and put to Camila genuinely.
"Because I can ignore it," Camila claimed and stood confidently now that Lauren was getting closer to her.
"Ignoring it is one thing, but you were acting exactly like them, Camila," Lauren called her out again, but soon realized Camila's indifference. She didn't look guilty, she looked defiant. "You really don't know what I'm talking about?"
"No," Camila lied irritably. "I was just trying to make them feel somewhat welcomed until they leave."
"And that's another thing," Lauren remembered suddenly, now that Camila had brought that up. "Why haven't you broken up with him yet?"
"I already told you that I was going to do it the day he left," Camila reminded her. Her toe was steadily twisting into the carpet, doing anything to distract herself from Lauren's accusations.
"Yeah, I know. That doesn't make sense. Why are you still stringing him along like that?" Lauren voiced another concern of hers. She also was reserving how much it bothered her to see Camila being all lovey-dovey with Darren. After yesterday, the last thing she wanted was to sound jealous and immature.
"It's just for another day," Camila closed her eyes for a moment and sighed at where their conversation was headed now. Somehow, it all came back to her.
"I don't like that," Lauren pursed her lips together. "You're bouncing between Darren and I like its nothing."
"It's only for one more day, Lauren," Camila said pleadingly. Her responses were nothing short of whining and complaining now. Lauren wasn't having any of it.
"Yeah, 'only' one more day of doing whatever this is behind closed doors," Lauren rephrased it to fit the reality of her perception.
"It's not even like that," Camila shut down her insinuation swiftly. "This isn't 'behind closed doors'. Even if I had broken up with him already, it would be the same way. I'm a private person. I'm not going to make a spectacle out of myself by making out with you in front of an audience, if that's what you want."
"I'm a private person as well, but I wouldn't treat you one way when we're in front of people and another way when we're alone," Lauren exspressed directly, not backing down from this apparent stare-off with Camila. The rising anger was controlled successfully, then she spoke softer than before. "If you were mine, you'd be mine all the time. Wherever, whenever."
"Just give me another day, Lauren. After tomorrow, I swear all of this will be over," Camila requested and rested her tired hands on Lauren's dresser .
"Fine," Lauren said complacently. "But if you still haven't done it after tomorrow, then-"
"I'll do it," Camila appeased her and stepped closer. "I promise."
"Well... Alright," Lauren begrudgingly believed her, but her hesitancy was shown by her scrutiny and furrowed eyebrows.
"You don't believe me?" Camila questioned, accurately gauging her withdrawal. Because of it, she stayed in place.
"No... I do," Lauren ran her hand through her hair in frustration for her lack of words.
"Then what is it?" she pressed. She had the feeling their conversation was about to loop back around.
"You've been acting so different since they've gotten here..." Lauren disclosed and crossed her arms over her chest to act as a barrier between them. She wasn't necessarily feeling very affectionate towards Camila. She saw the slow advances she was trying to make, inching closer and side stepping nearer.
"I know, but they can't carry the same conversations we have," Camila finally admitted, without any other means of shifting the blame. That was really all it came down to. Lauren didn't understand where she was coming from.
"I don't understand how you can subject yourself to that," Lauren scoffed at her tendencies of being an obvious people-pleaser.
"They are literally the only friends I had before. They may not have any insight to offer and I may not have deep conversations with them, but they are fun to be around," Camila twisted her fingers and tentatively defended the two downstairs just for the sake of it. "I wasn't lying when I said that they're not all bad and that you haven't given them a chance."
"I did try. They dismissed me first. I'm not rude to people automatically, Camila," Lauren shut down the argument she was steadily trying to hide behind. "Why are you trying to impress people you don't even like?"
"I'm not trying to impress them. I'm just conforming to their personality types..." Camila fabricated and faltered under Lauren's scrutiny. It was making her uncomfortable. For the girl that was so used to having her way without being questioned, this was all new to her. Having to explain herself was foreign to her.
"Exactly. I'm asking why you would have to conform at all," Lauren rephrased herself irritably. She stared at Camila from where she was standing and tried to assess the kind of person she was talking to. A few days ago, she really thought she knew. Now, she wasn't so sure. Camila was obviously capable of adapting to different circumstances. It really just made her think. "...Are you conforming to my personality?"
"No..." Camila's voice went hoarse in offense. Why would she think that, of all things? She was the most authentic she'd ever been whenever she was around Lauren.
"I've seen both sides of you. You acted just like them when you got here and then you turned back into the version of Camila that I liked when we were alone. You said you're 'conforming'," Lauren mocked her phrase with air quotations. "But I don't know which one is actually more like you."
"This isn't fake, Lauren... I am being myself," she said pointedly, referring to how Lauren had insulted her before.
"It was so easy for you to just switch, though," Lauren eyed her and internally gathered more evidence against her. "And now that I've seen how easy it is for you to do that, I'm just wondering if the way you were with me was real... Or if you just thought I wanted you to act that way."
"I wasn't acting when I was with you. For the first time in my life, I was able to be exactly who I am without hiding any part of me. You've seen me a hundred percent for who I am," Camila's mouth set into a grim line the more she heard. Both girls mirrored each other's stances. "I thought that you'd know that."
"I thought I did and now I'm just thinking about it. Im pretty sure it was genuine, but you know, I'm just having second thoughts about you, I guess," Lauren shrugged empathetically, obviously showing little to no regard for how deeply she was offending Camila. All of her reactions were external. The more she thought about it, the more she doubted her.
"I don't know what you want from me..." Camila mumbled sorely, still projecting exactly how she felt through her facial expressions. Her pout came off as childish. Lauren didn't really feel bad for her when it was so obvious that she was playing the guilt card.
"I'd really like you to be yourself, instead of acting how you think people want you to act. Stop being such a people pleaser," Lauren commanded somewhat harshly. Much like before, she felt more defensive as Camila began to match her tone. There wasn't much compassion, despite the way she saw her getting upset.
"Well, fine. Whatever you want. But I wasn't acting when I was with you," Camila informed her and opted to leave her alone, since she clearly didn't want to be bothered anymore.
Her response made Lauren laugh. 'Whatever you want' was the full extent of being a people-pleaser, and that was her go-to response. Either she didn't understand what Lauren was saying or she was so stuck in her ways that it didn't make a difference. Narrowed green eyes watched passively as Camila let herself out. The shorter girl wasn't going to stick around to let Lauren further incriminate her. It may have been true, but it wasn't preferable to be on the receiving end of all of it. She wasn't going to stay there if she didn't have to.
Camila was torn between two parties of people on completely different ends of the spectrum. She'd never been called out on such a thing before. It had rarely been brought to her attention. It wasn't the best light to be portrayed in. It hurt for Lauren to question the authenticity of her as a person. Were all of those late night conversations and deep, personal, revealing talks just ploys to her that ultimately meant nothing? Did she just think that she made it all up for the sake of having something to talk about? What did Lauren really think all of the stories and secrets she'd shared with her? Where did she think those came from, if they weren't real - if they weren't a part of her? How could she fabricate such a thing?
On her way downstairs, she kept replaying all of Lauren's hurtful insinuations. If Lauren was truly convinced that Camila was just adapting to her personality, so be it. Her protests didn't mean anything, because apparently Lauren had seen it happen firsthand. It had probably never occurred to her that the way she might handle this situation would be different, because they were different people. Camila didn't think she could be expected to just follow Lauren's example when she had never done so.
The way Lauren could just dismiss all of the information shared and pass it off as mere accommodation angered her. There was an odd sense of genuineness whenever she was around her. That was real. Lauren obviously thought otherwise, and Camila wouldn't waste her time trying to convince her if she didn't believe her already. Camila decided that she'd much rather surround herself with people that didn't question her credibility.
A/N
Oh man here we go. Here's to drama. Let's get this party started.
Didn't really proofread. Sorry for any typos. Weyhey.
QOC: What else do you ship, besides camren? Any fandom
Or another one, Team Lauren or Team Camila? And why?
I love every single one of you. You're all important and worthy of love. If someone hasn't told you they love you today, I do. And you're v pretty. Have a swell day. ily all xx