∞ ᴪ ∞
Chapter 5 - Invisible to His Eyes
I consider myself a stereotypical nerd and I lived with it. I had always been a nerd since I could remember. The truth is I didn’t really think it was all that bad. But most people treat us nerds like we were some kind of primitive species from some undiscovered alien planet.
Since I was a kid, I’ve always been fascinated by stories of fiction and fantasy and more often than not, spent my free time reading books. I’m not much of an academic person. School subjects didn’t appeal to me at all, especially Math. But since I had nothing better to do, I took the typecast and embraced it. One of the reasons why people call me Nerdy was because I had worn glasses since I could remember. I used to be legally blind—not really blind but you’ve got to wear a cervical collar so you could stay upright with the weight and thickness of the glasses you would have to wear twenty-four seven— which was before I had the laser surgery.
After finishing middle school I grew tired of being the push over, undesirable, boring girl that I was and resolved to reinvent myself.
Back then I had this notion that everything goes back to zero in high school. And that presented me with an opportunity to be someone I have always dreamed off — a fresh start. It happened back when I was in my first year in high school.
After having a three-day row with my mom, I had my braces taken off (they had been there for ages!), my glasses replaced with contacts and my unusually long black hair—that flowed several inches down my waist, cut to a more desirable length. Overhauling my wardrobe was the hardest part. I had to go shopping which I totally loathed, not to mention that I was not too keen on chucking my favorite overalls into the bin.
All summer, me and Becky practiced every single day to talk, walk and think in the most non-nerdy way. I was making progress, losing the croaky laugh and the dorky walk. But the hardest part was trying to think like a normal teenager. But I guess, I managed to lessen my geekish ways to some extent.
I was having the time of my life! My plan totally pulled off. I wasn’t Nerdy anymore. I became the Sarah I longed for; normal and tolerable. People weren’t glowering at me. No one stuck a “pinch me” or “geek-wad” sign behind my back. And I could carelessly walk along the hallways without the fear of being shoved against lockers or bulletin boards. I began to think that if I’m really lucky, I might even have a date to one of those dances every now and then.
People greeted me and I’m not just talking about the ones I already knew… until Matt came. Yes. Hotshot Matt. Was it just a big coincidence, or was it just me that we have been in the same school since kindergarten?
I was quite convinced that he would not recognize me immediately but he did. He was at the entrance of the cafeteria yelling to me. “Nerdy! Hey! Nerdy!” he called, waving as he did over and over again to my direction.
My new found companions began to be inquisitive about him. “Is that Matt?” A girl named Michelle leaned over to me with a suppressed smirk.
Becky answered giddily before I could nod. “Matt Adams, he is,” she said grinning, checking him out; batting her remarkably long lashes (I think they were extensions). “Oh my gosh! He’s coming this way,” she hissed animatedly trying to avoid gawking at Matt who paused in front of our table, hunched a little as if to scrutinize me, eyes squinting.
“It is you!” He sneered triumphantly as I tried to avoid his gaze.
“H-hi… Matt,” a sigh of resignation left my throat.
He chuckled as he patted me on the back with his big hand so vigorously, the impact made me cough the fries I just swallowed. “I thought my eyes were fooling around with me. What’s with the new look Nerdy?”
It felt as though every eye was focused on me. My so-called new friends argued about the matter silently as soon as I was out of eavesdrop, except for Becky who knew all along. Those who knew me before high school seemed to be reminded of who I was and how I looked back then. I bet my scrawny, dorky image burned in their minds, imprinted in there for permanent reference.
And I knew Sarah was back to being poor old Nerdy once more.
I opened my eyes. Oh, that dream again, I thought. It happened a year ago and I still wondered somehow. What could have happened if I ceased being Nerdy and became the normal and likeable Sarah.
Sarah, the ordinary girl — or could I have been popular? No. Not in a million years possible.
The clock flashed seven thirty. I would be late. Not minding to tidy up my bed, I jumped out like a cat dropped into a tub of water, then went scurrying and shuffling all over my room (which was now an overturned mess) to get ready as fast as my clumsy hand-eye coordination could manage.
Opening the door, I managed to get a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror. I didn’t bother with contacts anymore. If I couldn’t read something, my reliable old glasses should do the job. My grayish eyes stuck out too much against my oddly pale face. My hair stretched out almost three finger breadths short from my waist. Gray eyes and dark hair rarely matched. I got those features from my dad but I was never eager to recount details about him. I wore a blue plaid jacket over a dull beige knee-length tunic, comfortable knitted tights and a pair of faded leather boots.
Before I half-ran to school, I slung my bag on my shoulder and hastily grabbed a piece of toast before Mom could come out of the kitchen and remind me of my late arrival last night.
The bell rang as soon as I reached my home room, of course after Matt Adams and his team mates nearly tripped me on the way, leaving me to pick up my books that had sprawled all over the floor. I loathed every day that I had to suffer the kind of treatment but I kept my silence and stared down.
I sat on my chair panting; thanking that the first period had not started yet, avoiding the demeaning sets of eyes that seemed to fix on me.
Leon sat silently next to me leaning as far away as he could, staring blankly outside the window, his skullcap still on his dark head even though he was inside the class room. I bet he thought he looked cool. A smirk formed on my lips. I pretended he did not exist, grabbing my notes from inside my back and pretended to review my Geometry home work.
During Biology Lab, we had to be partners yet again in microscopic analysis of amoeba from the water specimen. Ugh. Amoeba. How exciting.
It was annoying how every time I tried to point out some details to him, he would resume whatever it was that he decided to do; I was but a ghost. It was like I did not exist, though I was right there sitting beside him. I might as well be talking to a rock to get a response.
“Look,” I started in a low exasperated voice when he accidentally nudged me. “If it’s so inconvenient for you that I’m your partner in this stupid experiment, believe me; the feeling is mutual.”
He continued to look at the specimen through the microscope adjusting the lenses as he did, as though I didn’t say anything.
I gritted my teeth in silence and gave up on working with him. A ghost, certainly; but with a grudge so huge so as to wish him the worst of luck in the world. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. So that’s how you want it to be. Fine by me.
Sooner or later I’d be caught not participating with the activity so, to while away time, I got the turbid mossy water from which we obtained our specimen, lifting the beaker to an eye level to study it against the light from the window while Leon kept ignoring me. Murky. I wrote on the experiment checklist asking for the properties of the specimen.
“Ms. Littman!” Ms. Eisenhower, the Biology teacher exclaimed, her voice screeching all over the laboratory. I was so startled that I hadn’t realized that the beaker slipped from my hand, straight to Leon’s pants, then smashed onto the floor.
He jumped out of his seat in surprise. His eyes smoldered at me with much outrage as he realized that he was wet with muddy water from pants to his feet. Dozens of pairs of eyes immediately fixed on him and the class burst into laughter. It was hilarious. He looked like he peed with his pants on!
“I… I’m sorry,“ I suppressed a giggle. “I didn’t—“
Leon stormed out of the class before I could make an apology and skipped the next few subjects, then returned only after the lunch break with a fresh pair of pants. It made me giggle at the thought. It was immature and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him but yeah… It was hilarious and the class went on and on about it, with gibes such as “wet crotch” and “pee buddy”.
Geometry was the most tiring part of every day. The teacher scribbled a ton of numbers, symbols and figures on the board, none of which made any sense to me. This is why I can't stand Math. It was always too complicated. Every equation is a problem that has to be solved and the answers ought to be exact every time. I despise absolutes.
The rest of the day resumed as normal—as it ought to be. No strange people abducting me, no new set of reports I had to do for bullies and especially, no superstar pretending to be a nerd to irritate me. Though I almost constantly felt an oddness as though a pair of eyes stalked my every move and when I was looking away, boring through my head with piercing intensity it made me shudder.
Truthfully it was dreary; repetitive. But it is the kind of life only nerds have the privilege of living. No fancy parties. No dates. No fun. The lengthy cyclic routine stretched from a few days to a few weeks highlighted only by my occasional row with Mom who never seemed to fail in seizing the chance to perceive any bit of flaw I manage to conjure every single day. I could live with that.
I congratulated myself for learning to pretend Leon Walden or Leonard Dunn, whoever he really was—did not exist in this world. It was hard at first but I saw how he did it rather exceptionally well and copied how his looks passed through me, or how he acted as if nothing happened whenever we bumped on each other, I sort of got the hang of it. Nerdy was back to business.
Or so I thought.
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
I can already hear my sister whining... urgh when does she get to date Leon?
Or is she ever gonna be in more trouble?
hmmm... it's for you to find out in the next revealing chapter!!!
please do comment and vote and if you really liked it fan! I'll love you forever! I will XD