Thanks so everyone who suggested names and voted over the last few chapters. By the overwhelming majority, Devereux was the winner - thanks to noodleface1 for the awesome suggestion!
Annoying Pinspiration Quote #16
"If all else fails, set the building on fire."
Steeling myself, I strode back towards the table, grabbed a waiter enroute and said, "Bring me vodka. A lot of vodka."
When I sat back down, Cody looked over at me with concern. "Hey, are you okay?"
"Me? I'm fine! I'm so fine. I'm traffic ticket fine. I'm Fran Fine." I waggled my eyebrows at Savannah. "Wanna hear my Nanny impression? Oh, Mr Shef-field! Oo, my vodka!"
I swiped the glass from the waiter, feeling more Ruperty by the second. "How good is vodka? Don't answer that - we all know it's awesome. Did you know you can use vodka to clean jewellery, shrink pores, clean a bathroom - it even makes your flowers last longer! The drink of a thousand uses! Those Russians might have crappy weather, but at least they know how to make magic in a glass. Salute!" I toasted in Savannah's direction, grinned fiendishly at her shocked expression and downed the rest of my drink.
Cody and Savannah exchanged worried glances. The old Mia would have wanted to cry about their couple shorthand; the Rupert-Mia didn't give a toss.
Loudly, I said, "Sooo, what are we talking about?"
Cody shifted uncomfortably, but Savannah perked up. "We're planning a little mini-break at the moment. Next weekend, we're going to go up to the Yarra Valley for a wine and cheese getaway. I can't wait! The cabin I want to book has a fireplace and views over the mountains."
Old Mia began to ugly-cry inside me. Rupert-Mia stuffed her in a suitcase, zipped it up and sat on top, just in time to respond calmly to Savannah. "Oh really? That does sound cute. Rupert and I have just booked some time away as well."
"Oh, fun! Where are you going?" said Savannah, so girly and interested I wanted to toss my very good vodka in her face.
"Hawaii." I dropped the bomb, then crunched the ice from the bottom of my glass nonchalantly.
"Hawaii? Wow."
"I know, right? Rupert knows some music producer who has a mega mansion in Maui, and we've got the place to ourselves for three weeks. Apparently, the property has its own private beach, so you know what that means - no tan lines, wink, wink!" Much as I was boasting to piss the other two off, I truly was getting excited. I'd never been interested in Rupert because of his money or perks, but for my first time leaving the country, it was going to be something special.
Cody's flat tone brought me crashing down. "You're going overseas?"
My eyes met his dark ones and I felt my façade crack. I could bluff myself that Cody didn't matter when he wasn't there, but it was far harder when the face that I knew and loved so well was creased in sadness. I knew we'd always talked about taking our first international flight together, that me flitting off as if it was nothing would make me seem heartless.
Something inside me flared, dark and petty. He's got a girlfriend! You owe him nothing! A true best friend would be happy for you! Tossing my silky ponytail, I said, "Yup. Flying business class and everything. Rupert wanted to book first class, but it just seems ostentatious, amirite?"
Cody's eyes narrowed and he didn't respond. Savannah burst in, "So, I guess it's getting pretty serious between you two?"
The waiter had brought another vodka concoction and I busied myself drinking it to buy time before answering. Were we serious? I had no idea. The sex was great and we had tons of fun, but it wasn't truly going anywhere.
Or maybe it is. Maybe I just needed to believe it was possible. Swallowing, I answered. "Yup. Super-serious. You know how it is."
Savannah wrapped her arm over Cody's shoulder and simpered. "We sure do."
I rolled my eyes before I could stop myself. Luckily neither of them caught it, so I covered with, "Actually, what with me being such a fantastic girlfriend, I need to watch Rupert on Sing It Proud tonight. It's starting pretty soon, so I should probably head home."
"Why don't we watch it together?" said Savannah.
Why don't I create a sculpture of your head using day-old dog poop? "Oh my god, fun idea."
Savannah waved down the waiter for the bill. "There's a little café down the road - I'm pretty sure we can convince them to pop the TV on for us. What do you think, honey?"
"Mmm?" Cody looked more tired than I'd ever seen him, deflated in his chair like an orange left in the bottom of the fruit bowl for too long. If it was just us, I would have sent him home for a decent sleep.
But Savannah was in charge, and she wasn't taking any notice of insignificant factors like her boyfriend's complete lack of energy and enthusiasm. "Come on! It'll be fun!"
Fifteen minutes later, I found myself sitting on a very small, painfully uncomfortable couch in an uber-trendy café/lounge, watching a television on the wall that was previously showing uninterrupted footage of the fashion channel. Cody was in the middle, flanked on either side by Savannah and me, but the miniscule size of the couch meant that we were pressed together from knee to shoulder. Close contact with Cody before hadn't been a big deal; if anything, it was just a bonus for me, a chance to log away how he smelt, how his body felt against mine. Now, it was awkward torture.
Trying to zone out from the physical proximity, I stared at the TV playing the opening credits of the country's biggest talent show. The flashy graphics played, the studio audience screamed, and the two male hosts strode out on the stage.
With their smarmy attitudes, Jax and Bugsy introduced the three regular judges, then Jax said, "And joining us as a special guest judge tonight is Rupert Marx. Now, I know he's a whinging pom, but give him a hand, yeah?"
I bristled as the audience screamed. "That guy's a douche," I said.
Bugsy chimed in, trying to top the other host. "Might I say, Rupert, your hair is very pretty tonight. Is it true you sing to it before you go to sleep at night?"
"That guy's a double-douche." My teeth gritted, wanting to defend Rupert against morons trying to score easy points.
I needn't have worried. Rupert shrugged, flipping his glorious mane over one shoulder. "Throw your slings, lads. Since healthy hair has been a sign through the ages of virility and vitality, I have no shame in sporting a fully glossy head of luscious locks. Shame for you, boys - Bugsy, it looks like early male pattern baldness runs in your family. Apparently, it's carried on the mother's side. Speaking of which, Jax, tell your mum I said hi and to stop calling me, please, it ain't never gonna happen."
While the audience made "Ooo!" sounds, my fists slightly relaxed. He can handle himself.
Savannah looked down the couch at my tense frame. "Wow, Mia, you're really wound up. It must be hard watching someone you care about so much in a situation that could go so badly."
Snorting, I said, "You think?"
She knew I didn't mean Rupert, and immediately shut up. Cody glanced down at me. "You really care about him?"
"I do."
"Do you love him?"
"It's a bit early for declarations of love, Cody," I deflected.
"Too early to say it or too early to know?"
"Shh, they're still talking," I said. I didn't know the answer. Do I love Rupert? How did you know when it was actually love? Cody had consumed my mind, body and soul for as long as I'd known him. What I felt for Rupert was so different - but maybe it was love, just a different kind.
Making a note to myself to revisit the thought later, I focused on the screen where a promo package of Rupert's career was playing. The story of his musical success I was already aware of; Rupert had told me all about his early days, the big breaks, his favourite albums. I nodded along.
Then, the story took a turn I wasn't expecting. The voice-over played, showing a paparazzi photo of Rupert with a stunning brunette with glowing green eyes. "But Rupert's reputation as a freedom-loving bachelor vanished forever when he made a stunning announcement earlier last year - he and Jade Devereux had tied the knot in a secret ceremony. Rock's favourite playboy was finally a married man."
Everything fell away. My mouth dropped open and I must have gasped because I heard Savannah say distantly, "Mia, you didn't know? I thought everyone in the world knew about that disaster - it was bigger news than Britney's Vegas quickie wedding."
Cody's voice floated by. "She doesn't follow celebrity news. She reads books, not trash." His hand landed on my shoulder, warm and familiar. "Mia, are you okay? He didn't tell you?"
With supreme effort, I wrenched myself back from the abyss. Flapping a casual hand, I said, "Rupert and I are trying something pretty novel - actually discovering each other like a normal couple. I didn't know, but it doesn't matter. There's plenty of stuff I haven't told him yet, and I know he'll tell me all about Jade in his own time."
Still, the name Jade Devereux buzzed around in my head again and again. I didn't know anything about her personal life, but Jade was a household name, a genuine Hollywood superstar. As if trying to add to my pain, the montage on screen continued. "A former model turned actress, Jade broke out playing Nate Norden's love interest in the Wyld Times trilogy, and has quickly moved from strength to strength as one of the world's most brilliant young actresses. The Golden Globe winner and Oscar nominee had a reputation the opposite of Marx's - private, hardworking and free from controversy."
More photos on screen, each one further confirming the differences between Jade and me. She was glamourous, tall, almost Amazonian with a modelesque figure and defined cheekbones. Her smooth brown skin seemed to mock my mottled tan with my countless freckles and moles. My hair was ratty and blonde, hers was smooth and mahogany, hanging almost to her waist in a shiny sheet. Forget trying to compete with Rupert's ex - we weren't even the same species. They looked perfect in the photos together, the rock star and the actress, each giving the other even more allure and charisma.
Then, the screen showed the cover of several magazines with shots of a mansion on the cover and titles like, They can't hide forever! "After the private ceremony, the couple escaped to a tropical retreat but were forced out of hiding when Jade returned to the set of her latest film and Marx went back on tour. A few days later, their publicists announced the pair had separated, and the marriage was being annulled."
Oh, Rupert. I'd seen the hurt in his eyes when he mentioned Jade; the annulment wouldn't have been his idea. It was worse than a divorce in some ways - like she was saying, "I don't just not want to be married to you - I want to pretend I was never married to you."
The montage finished and the screen showed Jax, staring sympathetically at Rupert. "Rupert, neither you or Jade have ever spoken about the time you spent together-"
"And that's not about to change now," said Rupert, his arms folded across his chest. He was gorgeous, even when guarded and angry, the line of his jaw set with tension I'd never seen on him before.
Jax tilted his head and said carefully, "Well, you don't have to talk to me about Jade. How about you speak to her yourself?"
Rupert's eyes lightened with hope. "What do you mean?"
"We just so happen to have Jade here in the studio tonight. Would you be interested in talking to her?"
The host's eyes glinted maliciously. Don't listen to him, Rupert! I screamed in my head.
But Rupert was a thousand kilometres away and beyond my help. Blinded to the suspicious setup, Rupert began to bubble with nervous energy. "For real? She's here? Wow. I'm speechless. Yes! Of course I want to speak to her. We haven't talked since... Please, where is she?"
He began to tidy himself up, so obviously excited and completely guileless. Jax was grinning like an empty skull as he said, "Well, she's right behind this curtain, mate. Are you ready? Do you know what you're going to say? It looks to me like you're still a man in love."
"I am." Rupert said it simply. It didn't surprise me; he loved her the way I loved Cody. It was a hopeless, desperate, idiotic love, and neither of us could stop ourselves.
"Let's not keep the little lady waiting," said Jax, practically sniggering. "Here she is, the one and only, Jade Devereux!"
The curtain drew back, but there was no Jade, only a photo of Jade on the big screen with the lips cut out. A pair of hairy male lips were super-imposed on the mouth - clearly Bugsy's, hiding somewhere with a camera backstage. He began to talk in an effeminate tone. "Oh, Rupert-baby! I've missed you so much! Come here and give me a kiss! Mwah, mwah, mwah!"
The camera cut back to Rupert, just in time to watch the hope in his face come crashing down, like a cliff tumbling into the sea. He guarded himself swiftly, folding his arms over his chest and saying, "Wow, Jade. I think you're overdue for a lip wax, hey love?"
The audience laughed, and the show continued. I simply sat with my hands in my lap, burning from humiliation as Savannah and Cody both looked at me sympathetically. Savannah finally spoke. "Mia... I'm sure he was in on the joke. He probably doesn't still feel that way about her."
Cody said nothing. What was there to say? All night I'd been flaunting my amazing relationship in his face, only to have it exposed for the shallow affair it truly was. My boyfriend was in love with someone else.
It didn't matter. So was I.
I stood, needing to flee. "So, I'm going to go now."
"Mia..." said Cody softly.
"I think I'm going to go to that rave after all," I steamrolled over him, not giving either of them a chance to respond. With shaking fingers, I grabbed my bag and turned away from the treacherous television. "I've got my camera and the photos should be awesome and I feel like a boogie, so thanks for dinner, talk to you guys later, bye!"
I escaped the café, ignoring Cody's protests. The two men I had feelings for were both in love with other people. Fine. If I was on my own, I was going to own it - starting with my career. A photoshoot at a rave will be dramatic and score me great shots for my portfolio. As long as I didn't think about Savannah and Cody and Jade and Rupert, I'd be fine.
Hailing the first taxi I saw, I gave the address for the warehouse from the message. I didn't have my big camera with me, but I'd brought my smaller Olympus that took brilliant night shots. Switching off my phone, I dropped it in my bag and began to refresh my lip gloss. I wanted to be off the grid, to forget everything for a night. I would take photos, dance with a stranger, and drink until the hurt faded away.
The taxi dropped me outside a pair of huge steel gates, where streams of young people were lined up. Skipping past the queue, I said to the bouncer, "Hey, I'm Mia. I'm the photographer Hazmat requested?"
A skinny guy wearing black appeared through the door, still grooving to the dull beats thudding through the warehouse walls. The bouncer turned to him. "Haz, this chick says you want her to take photos."
Hazmat's already dilated pupils grew wider. "Oh, hey! Shit - I never thought you'd show! Cool, cool. Come in!"
I followed him inside, where two very iffy-looking guys were sitting at a folding table taking twenty bucks from every person. He led me down a corridor and I asked, "So, is there anything particularly you want pictures of?"
"Nah, not really, mate. It's just the pics you take on a phone always look shit, you know? So I wanted a few to show off our lights setup, yeah?"
The music was getting louder with every step. I yelled, "So, is this thing legal?"
"More or less. Mostly less, but no one here is complaining." He pushed open a huge metal door and cried, "Welcome to the freedom factory!"
It was indeed an empty factory that soared up around us. I couldn't tell what it used to produce, because every level, metal staircase and raised stage was crammed with people. I'd never been to a true rave before, but it seemed about right; trance music, a fluid mass of dancing humanity and glow sticks everywhere.
Hazmat showed me to the bar, where he whispered to the scruffy guy pouring drinks into plastic cups. "Drinks are on the house! Insta the pics and we'll call it even, okay?"
"Okay!" I practically screamed back, and still I could barely hear my own voice. A mystery drink was handed to me, and I didn't give myself a chance to back down, sculling the strong liquid and miming to the bartender for another one. Maybe I was headed for another fail, but losing both the men I cared about in a week was failure enough. I'm due for a win, right, universe?
I did the photos first, capturing the strobe lights slicing through the artificial smoke in the air, and the laser lights creating colourful intricate patterns everywhere. It was a different kind of beauty, the sweat, the noise, the utter mindlessness of it all. The lengths some people had gone to with their outfits was impressive too, with liberal use of cut-outs, fluro and LED's. With my black and shiny ensemble, I fit right in.
Another two drinks later and I was ready to party myself. My brain was starting to let go of my heart, and both organs were floating inside me. And maybe I wasn't an uber-glampuss movie star like Jade, but at least three guys tried to chat me up at the bar, leaning in close to see down the front of my shirt. The attention felt good. Who needed Cody or Rupert? I had this random dude with reddish hair wearing a Dark Knight tee grinding on me as if my body was a shower puff. I was doing just fine.
I danced for hours and my feet didn't even hurt. The thud of the music, the swirl of the alcohol, the hands of strangers on my skin - it was primal, natural. I could see the universe clearer, understand the very nature of my existence. I could never truly fail as long as moments like this existed and I could sense the elements of all creation.
Then suddenly, I didn't feel so great. My head, which had been light and free, began to pound uncomfortably. Water. I edged through the raving masses towards the bar but found my vision spinning me in circles, and the bar seemed further away than when I'd started moving.
Weird. There was a wall near me and I staggered towards it, reaching my hands out in front of me. What's wrong with my fingers? They were numb and tingly, the same sensation creeping into my tongue and lips.
I hit the wall and splayed myself against it desperately. My vision wasn't just spinning; now it was blurring, my eyes heavy and closing on their own accord. This isn't right. My hand crept to my heart, which had begun to beat in a jagged rhythm I could feel through my chest, and between every extra powerful beat, it paused ominously, as if it might not start again.
Terror broke through to my pulsating brain. I have to get out of here! Something was wrong with me, something dangerous escalating inside my body. I was on the verge of passing out, and with my heart so unsteady, I couldn't be sure it would keep beating. There was no exit, no help in sight, just the hazy mess of strangers all involved in their own insulated worlds.
Staggering, I followed the wall around a corner, finding a deserted stairwell. There wasn't a chance my buckling legs could take me up or down so I slumped to the wall and slid to the floor.
My heart hiccoughed again. I could die here, I realised, on the floor of a dirty rave, and no one would ever know. He'd never know. I should have told him.
Must get. Phone. I flopped my numb hand onto my bag. If the clasp was fastened, I was finished. There was no way my fingers could open it; it would be like trying to use limp sausages to pick up a matchstick.
But the bag was open. I closed my eyes in relief. Good...
Thump! My irregular heartbeat jolted me awake. God! Too close. Stay awake... With agonising slowness, I gripped the phone and drew it out. I had to concentrate; with every second, unconsciousness loomed closer. With fingers I couldn't feel, I turned the phone on and waited. The screen powered up and I moved my finger.
Slide.
Calls.
Favourites.
Dial.
With the last of my strength, I lifted the phone to my ear and propped it with my shoulder. All my body parts officially belonged to someone else and my heart clunked heavily, then burst into a series of super-fast beats. Deep dread crept over me. The call wouldn't work. It would be too loud. His phone would be off. He would be asleep.
Ring, ring. "Hello? Mia?"
I would have sobbed from relief, but I didn't have the energy. "Hey, it's me," I slurred. "I think... I think I've been drugged. My heart, I can't move... I'm really bad. I'm almost gone, but I couldn't go before telling you. Because so what if you have feelings for someone else? I never said the words, because I wasn't sure, but I'm saying them now...
"I love you." There. Content that I'd done at least one thing right, I let my eyes close and blackness stole me away.
First really big cliff-hanger of this book! It might be a few days before I update again - sorry, guys, but my chapters are much longer than some of the other books on Watty, so hopefully they are enough to keep you going :)
One of this interesting things about this story is the length of the comments you guys leave - the longest ones I've seen on any of my books. Obviously, I'm hitting pretty close to home for some of you - so again, if you'd like to comment, tell me how you feel. Are you surprised Rupert was married? What do you think happened with Jade? Was Mia foolish for racing off? And who did she call - Rupert or Cody?
Please click or tap the star and vote for the chapter - thanks so much for your support! xxoo Kate