Too Long

I'm Not Sorry

I wish I could say I was sorry. I wish you would say you were. But neither of those wishes is ever going to come true. I thought you were dead. I thought you were gone. Forever. So I moved on. Of course I moved on, what else could I have done? I don't regret it. I did when I first saw you, but not now. It's your fault, not mine. You should have told me. Don't act like that, I know you could have. You're the cleverest person I've ever met. But that's the thing, isn't it? You were too clever. You could see how all of this was going to end. You were too clever to let yourself get involved with me. With anyone. We've always known that I was never as clever as you. I used to admire you, your cleverness. Your everything, to be honest. You were my life. Ever since I first met you. I never thought that I meant the same to you, but I always hoped. Deep down there was a part of me that wished you wanted me the way I wanted you. But I knew you didn't. I was never stupid enough to be fooled into thinking that I meant anything to you. And I guess I was right.You never even stopped to think how I would feel. No, that's not fair, of course you did. You would have thought of everything. Of course you thought about how I would feel, you just didn't care. You knew I would hurt. You knew. But you didn't care. Because you weren't going to hurt. For all that time, you would be fine. While I fell to pieces. Two years. I thought you were dead for two years. And now you're back. Assuming I'm still the same. Assuming I still love you. Yes, you knew I loved you, don't pretend that's a surprise, you knew everything. And you loved it. You loved that I was in love with you, but you never loved me back. Never even considered it. Well, you know what? Two years is too long. You let me believe you were dead, for two years. Congratulations Sherlock, you're dead to me.