So, small change to the ending. Didn't like the original. Hope it's better.
Dear Diary
Time is a funny thing. You may be able to keep a record, you can even watch as it ticks by, but the ability to hold and freeze it, to even go back in time, it is still yet above our control and may forever be so.
They tell us to forget the past and look to the future, but why would you forget the past when it has made you the person you are today. Without the mistakes, the hard and good times, everyone I have ever met may no longer be there.
If I went back and never met the guys never became their friends, I wonder if I would still be alive today. Never learnt that the she-devil was not my actual mother. That I was a ghost – not in literal sense - and if I had managed to survive my evil stepmother and my neglectful father, I wonder if I would have been able to live a normal life.
I like to think I have become strong, that I could handle everything on my own, and may be I can, but no one wants to be alone.
The fact that I have nine amazing men here with me, looking out for me, makes me think that with all the bad thrown my way I could deal with it as long as they are here to stay.
Now there is John, and after hearing of his tale I would love to get to know him better. If anything he has said is true, than he has been just as alone as me, and if anyone understands what that feels like, than maybe together we can learn to be...
I was cut of from writing when I heard a whine coming from the lounge room.
"Saannng." I smiled to myself as I hear Luke calling from the kitchen.
"Luukke." I call back mimicking his tone.
"Sang, North wont let me have chocolate." I laugh quietly to myself and climb up from the bed, and make my out to where they were situated.
"Seriously North. You still trying to control what people eat? What's wrong with a little chocolate?" I ask coming up behind him, taking the chocolate from his pocket.
"No," he grunts out, clearly frustrated with Luke. "I just don't believe it should be eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner." He says raising his hands in defeat.
"Don't forget snacks." Luke pipes in, with a big smile.
I shoot him a your kidding me right now, look. "So not helping here Luke. How about you let the grown ups talk, and go outside and play with Gabriel."
"Can I have the chocolate?" He asks smiling down at me.
"Sure." I hand Luke the chocolate and he leans down to kiss me quickly and runs outside looking for Gabe.
I smile after him, thinking things will never change. "He really is a child still isn't he?"
"Would you have him any other way Baby?"
"No never. Why would I ask to change any of you when I wouldn't want for any of you to change me?" I walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. I lean up against the counter, wrapping one arm around my waist. "We still need to discuss what we are going to do about the Academy. Then there is Volto. For us all to move forward and put everything behind us, to move forward and not have to look around every corner, we need to start working on this. It's been a week since the kidnapping, a week since I found out I had a brother, a whole other family, yet here we are playing house, and nothing is getting done." I take a swig of my drink and head towards the lounge room, where my laptop was.
North grabs my arm on the way past, stopping me in my tracks. "Just because you think we are playing house, doesn't mean that we haven't been busy trying to find the answers to your questions. So don't go accusing us of not doing anything. We are trying ok, what are you doing to help out?"
I pulled my arm from his taking a step back. "What am I doing? I'm welcoming back in a 'family' that was meant to be there for me, to be my everything. A family that always comes first. I'm welcoming in another family, who I know nothing about by the way. Then I have a psychopath after me who blame me for the death of my mother, and will slowly take each and every one of you out, one by one to get back at me for it. Then I have the Academy on my arse trying to recruit me into their stupid organisation, after they took the only people I have ever come to love. So what am I doing North? I'm trying to survive."
I turn around to see the whole gang standing there staring at me, and all I can see us sympathy and regret.
"Shit." Ok so maybe I'm a little stressed. And maybe a little pissed... with a side of 'oh god we're all going to die'. Need to cool your jets there girl. "Sorry. Didn't mean to go girl crazy back there." I turn to North and give a glare, "you on the other hand deserve the crazy. Don't ever tell me I'm doing nothing. I didn't mean that we weren't doing anything; I just meant we aren't getting any results and it's scaring, yes North, scaring the shit out of me. Because, do you want to know why?" I take the last remaining steps that separate us and poke him in the chest. "Because, North, you and the others are the only thing worth something in my how ever long life I have, and if anything happens to even 'one' of you, then I will not stop until the bastard pays in the most slow excruciating pain possible and I wont care who gets in my way." I take a step back crossing my arms, "then, I most likely will break down and not move for an entire year... or ever."
There was silence for a moment before North started chuckling, grabbed me around the waist and pulled me up hard against his chest. "Right back at yah Sang Baby."