the following is a random abundance of words that may or may not make sense if read. warning: some phrases may be harmful or offensive. proceed with caution.
the thing about society is the undeniable hypocritical and contradictory ways of thinking. your boobs are too small or too big. you're too tall or too short. you're too weak or too strong. you should lose weight but fat shaming is wrong and frowned upon. bullying is horrible but there's nothing you can do about stopping it. nerds are cute but not the weird ones. you haven't had sex your a stupid virgin but hook ups make you a slut. the boy is praised for fucking her but she gets gossiped about. eating disorders are real but when a teenage girl has one she's an attention whore. you're hated for living but when you take your own life you were an amazing person.
nothing. makes. sense.
I really don't think I can take much more of life. my academics are going to shit as well as my relationships. Ed and I haven't been out for a month. school is piling up on top of us. I just lost a friend because I try to balance my schedule, but apparently I don't spend enough time with her.
the urge to cut has been very strong lately. and frankly, I let it win several times. fortunately, now is the time to begin wearing long sleeves so I don't need an excuse for dressing warmly.
suicide has always been an option for me. if it just gets so bad, I can just end myself. right there.
and if things keep going in the direction they are travelling currently, I might just have to use that rope after all...