Noelle
Damien has been in San Francisco since last Saturday, and he's been crazily busy, but he always manages to make time to talk to me. Whenever my phone rings and I see his name popping up on my display, my heart jumps.
I wake up to a good morning text, and I go to sleep with a good night call.
I've never really liked talking to someone on the phone, but with Damien, I've learned to love it. There have been countless times when we've stayed up until 4 in the morning, talking about anything and everything.
Usually, I hate texting and talking on the phone; I always feel so pressured. How do I keep the conversation going? What do I say? I hope I'm not embarrassing myself.
But with him?
It's completely different.
It's as easy as breathing.
I never second-guess anything. I say what I want, and I always feel like he accepts me just the way I am, which is something really rare to find.
"Noelle, we're leaving. Get your ass over here." My friend Michele calls out impatiently.
"Who let you in?" I groan to myself.
Oh, this is such a bad idea.
How do I get out of this?
I pull my blanket over my head. If I just stay here, maybe she'll leave withou–
"Noelle!" With one swift movement, she pulls away my shield, and I'm exposed to broad daylight.
"Michele, I really, really hate you!" I glare at her petite frame, and her green eyes stare right back at me while a little crease forms between her eyebrows.
She's already dressed in her usual black leather pants, a black crop top, and her absurdly high heels. Her eye makeup is as dramatic as always, with winged eyeliner and purple eyeshadow. And to complete her look: blood-red lips.
"You promised," she pouts.
I move to sit upright and push my brown locks out of my face.
Last week, we went to the movies, a one-hour drive to an open-air theater in the middle of nowhere. When it was time to drive home, she locked the car before I had a chance to get in and threatened to drive without me if I didn't say yes to the party in Soho.
Well, of course, I said yes.
"You're such a drama queen. You would have never said yes. I had to... convince you somehow." She flashes me her angelic smile, which works wonders with every guy, and bats her heavily mascaraed eyelashes.
"Please don't make me do this. I don't like clubbing." I whine and look anywhere but at my friend to avoid her piercing green eyes.
"Noelle, please, pretty, pretty please," she says in a singsong voice and joins me on my bed.
"I won't have fun, and it's..." She interrupts me by pressing her hand over my mouth.
"Will you stop? That's absolutely ridiculous." I roll my eyes and stick out my tongue, teasingly attempting to lick her hand.
"Ew." She squeaks and immediately removes her hand from my mouth, with a disgusted look on her face. "You're gross." She whines and wipes her hands on my blanket.
"Okay, listen—" She starts again. "It would mean a lot if you'd go with me. Just this once, and if you don't like it there, we'll leave. Pleease, do it for me. Please, please, please..."
Just this once? Can I do this for her?
"Please, please, I don't want to go alone. I'll do anything—"
"Fine!" I give in. "You owe me big, Michele!"
"Yay." She jumps up and claps her manicured hands. "Thank you. Now let me find something for you to wear." And before I can complain again, she opens my closet.
What have I gotten myself into?
I fiddle with the hem of my short red dress, which fits my slim, yet curvy figure perfectly—but I would never admit that to Michele—and I stare down at my black high heels.
Why can't this night be over already?
She's done an amazing job of dressing me up like a real-life Barbie doll, and I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life.
My long brown hair is tied up in a high ponytail, and my green eyes are accentuated with black eyeliner and plenty of mascara. To my relief, I managed to convince her to use the nude lipstick instead of... well, the red one.
The guy in his black leather jacket and tight skinny jeans flashes his white teeth, and a cold shiver runs through my body. I look at Michele and stare at her in utter disbelief.
She looks... fascinated.
Mesmerized, even. She stares at the tall, dark-haired man.
But I can't help it— he creeps me out.
I take out my phone to check the time when I notice a text from Damien. It's amazing how happy I always feel when he texts or calls me.
– Damien –
Don't have to stay till next week. I'm back on Friday. Can you talk? x
I smile to myself.
"Michele..." I nudge her shoulder, but she's too engrossed in whatever the guy is whispering in her ear.
Should I stay here or go home and call Damien...
I look around.
The room is dark, with dozens of people dancing to the loud music, moving to the heavy beat as if entranced.
It's dimly lit, with occasional flashes of lights over the dance floor and the bar.
When I glance back at the couple next to me... To my horror, they're already making out.
There's my answer.
Before I reply to Damien's text, I send her a message – talking to her now is not an option – and let her know that I had to go home.
She won't miss me.
Finally in a taxi, I stare at my phone screen, my thumb hovering over Damien's contact...
I press the call button, and seconds later, I hear his voice.
"Hey, you." His raspy voice sends shivers down my spine.
God, what a voice.
"Hey, um..." I clear my throat. "You're back on Friday?"
He chuckles. "I am, and I'd like to take you out. There's this new French restaurant. It's quite difficult to get a table, but a friend of mine is the sous-chef there. How does that sound?"
I gulp.
I've heard about that place.
It's fancy and ridiculously expensive. New York's high society frequents it... I'm not sure if I want to go there.
Other women would kill for the opportunity to dine there. In fact, Michele once said she'd sell her soul for it.
"Damien, you should know that.. I just don't feel like I'd be comfortable at a place like that. I'm sorry, that sounds silly.. ut I Just." I try to explain that he doesn't need to impress me in any particular way – As long as I'm with him, it doesn't matter where we eat or go out.
Damien
"I wanted to impress her with my connections and... I realize how different she truly is from the women I usually date.
They always want to go to the trendiest places, be seen, and mingle with New York's high society. But to discover that Noelle isn't like that...
I appreciate that.
I appreciate her even more because of it.
I feel incredibly relieved that she's so... genuine.
"Noelle, and that's why I like you so much. Tell me, what would you like to do?"
"Well, I could cook something?" Her voice sounds almost shy.
"You want to cook for me?" My heart aches a little at the thought of someone cooking for me after so long.
"I do, but my roommate is never home, so I don't really bother. I don't enjoy cooking for just myself. So you could come over whenever you have time."
My heart swells. "I'd love that."
She has no idea how much I do.
_______________________
Just some thoughts about ....
Love
Love isn't something you can think rational about. you can't put on a timer, you can't be like; so when is it appropriate to fall in love? Your heart gives zero fucks if you'd like to be in love right now or not - you just are!
It sweeps you off your feet, it messes with your head and heart, it makes you feel things you've never felt before! you feel more, you feel like you are more - better - magical - immortal - superhuman!
Love isn't something that cares for time, place, sexuality, age, race! It comes into your life when you least expect it - some fall in love on first sight, others after months and years - love doesn't care!
The two of them not only talk about their feelings to make the chapters longer, it's for you guys, for readers. to know exactly - to have it black on white why they fell in love!
This here is different.
They'll never question their love for each other.
Their story is not about finding their way to each other, it's about finding their way to themselves.
This book is for those who think that they'll have to change in order to make someone stay.
Who think that they'll have to face their demons alone.
You don't.
Somewhere out there, there is someone who loves you just the way you are, treats you just like you deserve and stands by your side no matter what.
***
They didn't just meet - were attracted to each other - fucked - and then said that they're in love with each other.
I wanted my book to be different - I wanted you to see step by step- thought by thought - how and why they fell for each other!!
Noelle and Damien were two broken souls, alone all their life, nobody cared about them, nobody showed them what it is like to be loved unconditionally. Loved no matter what, loved with all their flaws, their imperfections and their demons.
***
When the elevator's doors opened the deal was sealed. They've wanted each other and this grew into more!
He saw something more in her, he couldn't take his eyes off her. He saw that she's strong, fierce, sexy as hell, quick-witted, that she doesn't need anyone to come to her rescue bc she's a kick ass woman, she stood her ground, she was fascinating!
He felt like she saw more in him as well. for the first time in his life a woman actually showed interest in him - just him - not his money - not bc of his godly looks - just him. She wanted to get to know him, she wasn't afraid to show that she cared for him, she was so true to herself, natural, not fake, like no one he has ever met.
She was different - and to this day he still discovers more sides of her and falls for her all over again.
When Noelle saw Damien, her whole body was on fire. She felt something she never felt before. She had the feeling that when he looked at her, when he talked to her that there was more. that it could be so much more. that when he looks at her, he sees something in her nobody ever saw before.
He treated her like she's something that needs to be cherished.
He listened to her like the words that are coming out of her mouth are the most important things he'll ever hear.
He touched her like she's the most precious thing in the world.
He was different, he was never afraid to speak what's on his mind, he was always honest and straightforward. she never once doubted him, because he didn't give her the chance to do so. He made her feel something for the first time in her life, she felt loved, wanted, and that she's fine the way she is.
He didn't treat her like she was something that needs to be fixed.
He loved her - all of her - her crazy overthinking rambling - pain in the ass - loving - caring - protective - funny - intelligent - selfless - sides.
"He makes me feel like I'm worthy to keep around. That he doesn't toss me aside after realising how "fucked" up I really am."
"She thinks laying herself bare in front of me. Telling me what's really on her mind is a weakness. But she's the strongest fucking woman I've ever met. "
"In this very moment I realise it's not all about physical closeness, naked bodies pressing against each other."
"What she does to me just by being this close to me. It lifts a weight from my body I've been carrying around for years."
"When you meet someone who takes you the way you are. Encourages you to show your true self. How can you let him go? How can you not fight for this person?"
"In this short time we've known each other he was able to make me think about so many things differently. I've always thought that I need to change. That I talk to much, think too much, that I'm not nice enough, pretty enough"
"She didn't fake anything. She was herself. And that made me even more crazy for her."
"I've never felt this close to anyone. Nothing I've ever done with a woman made me feel the way I felt when I held her in my arms."
***
All the love Jessy x
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