"I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost...
The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn't....!!"
Liam's P.O.V.
"I can't go inside." I said, resting my hands on either side of my waist. "Why man?" Zayn asked, stepping closer to me and seemed more worried then.
Looking at him for a few seconds, I simply shrugged. "I can't face her." And with that, I looked away.
"What do you mean by you can't face her?" Zayn asked in a confused voice and I glanced at him.
"What if she doesn't wanna see me, Zayn? I haven't even.. even talked to her, ever since she'd gone back." I was miffed. "Fuck!" I cursed under my breath, realizing that I'd committed a huge mistake by deciding to come to the party.
"Stop assuming things on your own, Leeyum. You know her!" His words took me by surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him, in confusion. "She is still the same Alya." He said, looking at me imploringly.
I knew she wasn't the kind of a person who would create any kind of scene in front of others or stuff like that, but after all that had happened between the two of us, what if she might react the other way? My brows were then pulled together in a furrow and my gaze was fixed on the cemented floor when Zayn's voice interrupted me in my thoughts.
"In fact, she is looking forward to see you, man." The moment those words left his mouth, I, instantly, looked up. "What?" It felt as if I was hearing things.
"Yeah bro." He said, resting his hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "What did she say?" I asked and my lips curved at the edges to form a small smile.
"She was worried that you might not make it to my place tonight because of... you know... because of her." He said, passing a tight-lipped smile and continued, "But I assured her that it was nothing like that."
I was relieved to hear that she wanted me to attend the party and was too happy, because she was still the same, caring Alya I'd always known.
I know what must be going on in her head. In spite of all that has gone wrong between the two of us, she will never allow that past mess to come between Zayn and Perrie's happiness.
I knew that if I didn't show up at the dinner tonight, she would blame herself for my absence and it was the last thing I needed her to think about.
I'm going to go inside, pull up a strong face and act normal as if nothing is going on in my head. If she can put aside her past for Zayn's happiness, so can I. After all, he is like a brother to me!
"Leeyum? Bro?" Zayn's voice brought me back into the real world and I blinked my eyes a few times. "Y-Yeah?"
"Are you seriously not gonna join in?" He passed me a doleful look and sounded hurt. I felt too miserable. I was acting like a jerk.
I was being so selfish at the moment. I was just thinking about myself; My problems, my past, my fears and my mess. I'd completely forgotten that I was here to attend Zayn's party, to participate in his happiness, to celebrate one of his best days with him and his family.
"I am." I said, nodding my head and a wide smile, instantly, lit up his face. "Thank you so much, bro." He said, taking me in his arms and I patted on his back, gently.
A moment later we pulled back and I passed him a wide smile, assuring him that he need not worry about anything. Quickly, grabbing my phone from the passenger seat and the bouquet from the back-seat, I locked my car.
"Is that for me?" Zayn mocked, pointing at the white roses and I let out a soft chuckle. "You wish, bro." I spoke in a sarcastic tone. "For Perrie."
"And what about me, huh?" He asked, faking a sad tone and and punched on my arm, lightly, as we both made the way towards his house.
I know he is just trying to lighten up my mood and I cannot feel anymore lucky to have a friend like him in my life. He has always been by my side, no matter what and even today, when its suppose to be his day, he is out here, trying to make me feel at ease.
"I'm here for ya!" I winked, making it look like I was absolutely normal and he laughed aloud. "I appreciate that, bro. Really!" He nodded, patting on my shoulder and we, finally, reached the door-step of his lobby.
The moment, the guard twisted the door-knob open, I drew in a heavy breath so as to calm down my ready-to-explode emotions. Everything is gonna be fine.
Following Zayn inside, I noticed how beautifully the lobby was decorated that night. It was illuminating with big and small light bulbs and the two big chandeliers, hanging from the top, were only adding up to the beauty.
A small bar was set in one of the corners of the huge lobby and a long table was placed in the extreme right corner where the snacks were being served. I looked through the glass door and saw another bar, set in the backyard of the house where mostly the males were seated.
There were not too many people around; Just the familiar faces of the close family members of Zayn, a few of his friends with whom we, too, got along well and a few people from Perrie's side had gathered.
My eyes then scanned the other corner and I noticed Niall and Harry, talking to a guy whose back was facing me but he didn't seem like Louis at all.
"Where's Lou?" I spoke in a whispering tone while continuing walking. As we passed a small group of Zayn's aunts, I nodded my head as a gesture of greeting them and passed them smiles which they returned.
"He's on his way." He said and turned to look at me. "Will be here in, like, 10 minutes or so." He told me in a low voice and looked away.
I hummed in response and then looked around once again, as my eyes continued searching for that one person, I'd been dying to catch a glimpse of, but she was nowhere to be seen. I thought of asking Zayn but then brushed it off, wondering that he might think I was acting too desperate.
"Wine?" Zayn's voice startled me. Promptly, looking to my right, I noticed a waiter standing next to us and he was holding a tray, offering different kind of drinks.
"Uh-no." I said and shook my head. "Beer would be fine." The last thing I wanted was to get drunk and talk some kind of shit at that point of time.
"You sure?" Zayn asked, an amused look enveloping his face then and I just nodded. He ordered the waiter to brink a bottle of beer and pointed to his left before motioning his eyes at me, gesturing me to follow him.
As we started walking towards the left, I realized that we were making our way towards Harry and Niall. When we approached closer, Harry noticed us and passed a smile in our direction which I returned.
"Hey Payno." Niall spoke, passing me a big smile. Before I could greet him back, the unknown guy who was standing with them, turned around and I was taken aback.
Shahid Kapoor? What?
"Oww Liam!" Shahid remarked aloud while I stood still, not even blinking my eyes for a few seconds.
What is he doing here?
Extending his free hand towards me, he spoke again, "How are you doing, man?" He spoke in a calm voice and passed me a big smile.
"I'm.. I..." Clearing my throat, I shook hands with him. "I'm good. And you?" I passed him a small smile and we let go off each others' hands.
"Great!" He exclaimed and seemed too happy for some reason. "You enjoying mate?" Zayn inquired him and meanwhile the waiter was back with a bottle of beer for me.
Thanking him, I grabbed it from the tray and focused my attention back on the lads, who were then standing next to me, busy in their own conversations. The four of them seemed too friendly as if they had known each other for too long.
Zayn has met Shahid before, so his behavior is quite apparent but whats up with Niall and Harry? I don't think they have known him or even talked to him until today. This is strange!
As I took another sip from my drink, Zayn turned to face me. Stepping closer, he whispered, "You okay?" Passing a smile to him, I nodded my head.
"Where's Perrie?" I asked when I realized that I was still holding the bouquet in my hand. "The girls were upstairs. I think, they... they should be..." And with that he started looking around the lobby.
'The girls were upstairs.'
Does that mean Alya is with her too? Because that's the only logical explanation since she cannot be found anywhere around.
"There she is!" Zayn spoke all of a sudden and I could feel my heart racing faster. Suddenly, my legs felt too weak and my heart was in my throat by then. I wanted to turn around but I didn't want to turn around also.
Tf is wrong with me?
"Come." Zayn tapped on my shoulder, gesturing me to accompany him. Placing the bottle of beer on the table near by, I closed my eyes for a second and drew in a short breath.
"I'll be back in a minute, guys." I spoke up and Shahid nodded while Harry and Niall passed me a smile.
This is it. I had to face Alya, sooner or later!
When I turned around, I noticed Perrie standing near the stairs with Jade on her one side and Leigh-Anne and Jesy on the other. She was all in her smiles and giggles, blushing every now and then and seemed too happy. Just like Zayn.
I'm too happy for both of them.
"Hey! Pez!" Zayn spoke aloud, calling out for Perrie and she turned to look in our direction. We started walking towards the right while my eyes were still searching for Alya.
Where is she?
The moment we stopped near Perrie, I held out the bouquet towards her. "Congratulations!" I spoke in a composed tone and she flashed one of her biggest smiles at me.
"Thank you so much, Liam." She seemed awe-struck and took the flowers from my hand. "These are so beautiful!" She remarked, her gaze fixed on the bouquet.
"By the way, you know everybody is still too surprised that you said yes to this idiot." I spoke again, motioning my eyes at Zayn. Perrie let out a soft giggle while Zayn punched me on my arm before side-hugging her.
"Just kidding." I said, joining Perrie in her chuckles and Zayn smiled, rolling his eyes at me. "But this idiot really loves you a lot. I'm sure he's gonna keep you happy."
Perrie glanced at Zayn and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. "I love you." She told him in a passionate voice and Zayn kissed her on the forehead.
"Alright now!" I started off and the couple turned to look at me. "Zaynie, you gotta pay me for all this. Asap!" I said, motioning my hand between them and myself while they passed me a confused look. "I spoke what all you told me to. Word by word." I winked at him and he laughed aloud while Perrie pushed him away.
"I hate you both. Jerks!" She huffed and Zayn continued chuckling. "He's just pulling your leg, babe." He said, taking her back in his arms and she, finally, smiled.
"Zayn! Perrie!" We heard a feminine voice call out the names, aloud, and we turned around, only to find one of Zayn's aunts waving her hand in our direction. "Could you please come here for a minute?" She spoke again and Zayn nodded.
"Excuse us for a minute, Leeyum." Zayn spoke and I nodded, patting on his arm and they both headed in the opposite direction. Turning around, I started walking, making my way back to where Niall, Harry and Shahid were.
When I was halfway through the lobby, I heard a familiar voice, making me stop in my tracks and my senses froze. Its her voice. My most favorite sound in the whole wide world.
"Safaa stop. No!" Alya remarked aloud and then started laughing. I feel so alive at the moment. I missed the sound of her adorable laugh so much.
Instantly, I looked to my left and saw her standing behind a broad pillar. I shifted a bit but still couldn't catch a glimpse of her. My heart was beating too fast and I was feeling too nervous at that particular moment.
It was the same feeling which I'd felt when I waiting for Alya on her birthday last year, wondering if she would wear the dress that I'd gifted her or not. This time, I just wanted to see her.
"Aliiiiiii. Please!" Safaa whined, pulling out a sad face and Alya stepped forward, facing her back towards me.
Fuck! She's wearing the Indian attire tonight. How am I gonna stop myself from staring at her and hugging her and kissing her?!
"Safaa, stop annoying her. We are still here for another couple of days. You can show it to her some other time." Zayn's elder sister spoke this time and Safaa just nodded in response.
"You'll be staying with us, right?" The little one spoke again, catching Alya's attention. "Only if you want." She spoke in a tender voice and Safaa squealed in joy.
Alya let out a soft giggle and that adorable sound brought a small smile on my face. How I missed her voice!
Zayn's sisters then walked away in the opposite direction when someone called out for them and all of a sudden, Alya turned around. She was still smiling when she took a step forward but the moment she looked up from the floor and our eyes met, her smile faded away and her eyes grew wider.
While me? I was gawking at her like an idiot.
I don't think it was possible to put her beauty in words. She was looking breathtakingly beautiful and even, all the adjectives put together in a sentence, wouldn't be enough to put my thoughts in words. And the Indian attire of hers was just a cherry on the top.
I missed everything about her. Too much!
Our gaze was still locked with each others' and she was the first one to look away when a waiter offered her a drink. Shaking her head, she passed him a smile and then looked at me again after he was gone.
What might be she thinking right now? Should I pass her a smile? Should I just wave at her? Should I go and talk to her? Should I....
And before I could decide what to do, she passed me a meek smile and it felt as if she was going through the same struggle inside her head. Returning her a smile, I waved my hand and walked in her direction, hastily.
I had no idea what was I gonna say to her or ask her. I just wanted to see her from close. I just wanted to stare at that beautiful, innocent face of hers which I had been seeing in my dreams, every single night.
Stopping at a small distance from her, I passed her a warm smile which she returned and relief washed over me. She does not seem angry or at least, she's not acting bitter at the moment.
I kept staring at her, taking in her beautiful features and it was taking every ounce of will-power inside me to stop myself from taking her in my embrace because at that particular moment, all I wanted to do was just hug her, tightly, and let the silence do the talking.
When I still didn't say anything, she looked down at her hands and cleared her throat, bringing me back into the real world. "You look beautiful!" were the first words that came out of mouth.
Immediately, she looked up and watched me with a surprised look plastered on her face.
Shit! What the hell did I just say? I hadn't planned on saying it out, that loud.
"I.. I meant..." I started off and she avoided eye-contact, looking everywhere but me. "How are you?" I asked and she met my gaze again. "I'm good. You?" Her voice was too low and she sounded nervous too. "I'm good too." I told her, passing her another smile and she nodded.
Everything around me felt silent after that as if the world world had disappeared and it was just me and her. I was too engrossed in staring at the girl, standing right in front of me. It felt like it'd been years since I saw her last.
The sound of someone's loud laugh caught me off-guard and I, immediately, looked away while faking a cough. Looking at her through the corner of my eye, I found her staring at me but when I met her eyes, she looked away, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"You reached today?" I asked and mentally slapped myself for being such an idiot.
Of course she reached today. In the evening. The damn pictures were there all over the twitter and out of all the things, I decided to ask her this stupid question? What the hell is wrong with me?
"Yeah. Still a bit tired because of the flight." She told me, her voice was louder than before. Before I could say anything else, she spoke up. "Hey."
She passed a wide smile to someone behind me and I turned around, only to find Shahid walking towards us.
"Hello beautiful!" He remarked, passing a smile to her and nodded his head at me. "Where have you been?" He asked, stopping right next to her and handed over a glass of juice to her.
"Thank you." She passed him a smile again and I felt jealous for some reason. "We were upstairs. Girls talk you know." She giggled after finishing her sentence and sipped in the juice while a small smile crept on my face, seeing her happy like that.
"These girls and their gossiping capacity!" Shahid remarked, rolling his eyes at me and I let out a soft chuckle.
"Hey." Alya tapped on his chest, passing a playful glare to him while he pulled her in for a side-hug.
Is there by any chance Alya is seeing Shahid? Both of them seem to be too comfortable and Alya looks so full of life around him. Also, that makes sense, else why would he accompany her to London, especially for Zayn's engagement?
"We'll see that once I go back." Shahid's voice startled me, making me realize that I'd zoned out. "Then don't call me up and tell me that you are missing me!" He finished and Alya rolled her eyes at him.
"Whatever loser." She chuckled, sticking out her tongue at him and he pulled her cheek in return.
I suppose they are dating and all this is killing me like anything. I did think about Alya, moving on and stuff but seeing them, being so goofy and happy, right in front of my eyes, is just getting too unbearable for me.
How I wish that was still me, in place of Shahid!
"Get lost, Shahid." She spoke again and before he could say another word, Safaa spoke out of nowhere. "Aliiiii. You need to come with me."
Alya wriggled her eye-brows at her, asking her what was it. "Mumma is calling you." She told her and passed smiles to me and Shahid. Returning her a smile, I pulled her cheek in response and she giggled.
"I'll just be back." Alya told Shahid and then glanced at me. Passing me a cute smile, she walked away with Safaa while my eyes were still fixed on her until she was out of sight.
"So what's up?" Shahid spoke from behind me and I, instantly, turned to face him. "Nothing much." I said, passing a tight-lipped smile. "Just the usual stuff." I shrugged and he nodded.
"Congrats to you though!" I commented and he seemed taken aback. "For what?" He asked, passing me an amused look.
"For you know.. getting into a relationship and stuff." I said and his eyes widened.
"How do you know?" He sounded too shocked and before I could say something, he spoke again, "Did Alya tell you?" He said and I shook my head.
So this is true. They are dating.
"The happiness on your face is saying it all." I smiled, even though I was dying inside with every passing second.
It was at that point it hit me that I was still, madly, in love with Alya and it was too stupid of me to even think that she might be feeling the same about me. She'd clearly moved on and there was nothing that I could do now.
But on the other hand, I'm happy for her. Happy to see her smile, to know that she, finally, found someone who could keep her happy. Unlike me, who only created a mess out of her life. She clearly deserved someone better and I'm glad she found one.
In another second, Shahid's phone started ringing and he excused himself before answering the call while I kept standing at the same place, simply running my eyes around the big room.
Every face present there seemed too happy and full of life while I stood there, recalling all the fucked up shit that I had done in the past which made that girl walk away out of my life, with whom I'd planned on getting old and maybe have my own family one day.
I wish I've stopped her from leaving and said something two months back. The things would've been too different today. But now, its clearly too late!
Here I am, standing alone in one of the corners, watching that same girl with someone else, looking happier than she used to be with me and I cannot do anything to have her back.
She's gone forever and the little hope that I had in the back of my mind when I used to think that we might get back together someday, is gone too.
.
.
.
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Author's Note -
100th Chapter !!!! Whaaaaaaatttt?!!! Screaming internally.. I never had thought in my wildest dreams even that my story would come this far or people would even want to read this story.. But you guys are the bestestestestttt.. THANK YOU SO EFFING MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND LOVE :D
And now, coming to the update...
Finally, Liam and Alya were together at one place after so long; How did it feel?? I was effing feeling butterflies in my stomach while writing down this chapter. Hope you, too, did feel the same? A bit maybe??!
Also, The dresses for Alya and Liam for this chapter are attached in the media section. Do have a look at them too :)
And, Please leave your feedback and please Vote if you enjoyed reading this update.. Thank you for sparing your time to read my story.. It means the world to me :D
Much love my sexy babes .x