Classes resumed again that Monday morning and I wasn't really prepared for what was coming. Although I really only had three classes that day I was getting a lot more homework and I already have to study for a test coming up for photography. It wouldn't be a hard test, mainly I had to study the buttons of a camera, but I wanted to make sure I would get a decent grade on it, I really don't like falling behind.
Sunday during the day Ricardo asked me if I wanted to intern for his local radio station he has for the school and the town around us. Of course I said yes because that is all I ever wanted to be since I have gotten here. The radio station is called KROV and from what he has told me it has been doing pretty well.
I called my parents today and told them about the great news, but they weren't too thrilled. They were happy for me but they said I should focus more on something practical like a doctor or go into cosmetology, but they were being ridiculous so I hung up on them. I was surprised they didn't even ask about Connor.
Ever since the first time Connor and I kissed, things started to get a little awkward between us. Since he was the person who was mostly wasted between us both, he couldn't remember a damn thing. When I told him about it he shrugged it off and said he was glad we are friends. Friends.
Classes weren't that exciting to be honest. I got a project in TFM 136 and I have that test too as well. During choir/music theory, nothing much happened. The reason I'm taking that class is because I would like to understand music more. Although I'm really interested in being a DJ, I also really like to sing. I also want a lot better understanding in music, which helps me with my interning as well.
Classes were done around four-thirty and I was beyond tired, but I had to stay awake to be at the radio station that was a little down the road at seven. I really needed to take a shower and finish my homework so I don't forget. When I arrive, I stick my key in and unlock the door. As soon as I walk in my mouth drops open when I see Connor sitting on his bed making out with someone. When they pull away I'm angry when I realize it's Acacia.
Inside I wanted to scream and push her away and tell Connor I love him, but I couldn't, because I didn't love him. Connor was never mine in the first place but how could he? He told me he hated her? On the outside I was in shock. My mouth hung open and my fists started to ball up. I could already feel my eyes water and my cheeks getting red. They pull away and she has a grin on her face like she is pleased with herself. I wanted nothing more than to run over there and throw her over a table a second time, but I couldn't help but just stand in the doorway.
"Am I interrupting something?" I choke my words down and try to fight back th tears that really shouldn't be worth it.
Connor opens his mouth to say something but Acacia, like the dumb bitch she is, butts in.
"Actually, yes." She smiles proudly.
She kisses him again and smirks. I know she is doing this on purpose. My heart snaps in half and I don't even know why I'm still standing here. I thought Connor would enjoy it, but he didn't. He pulls away in disgust.
"Acacia!" he yells. "This was a mistake!"
Oh really? "No it wasn't, Connor. I know you liked it and I know you like me. You don't have to pretend you don't like it because that fucking bitch of a roommate of yours is watching. Don't try to lie to me." She pouts and points to me. She latches her arms around his neck and he tries to pry them off.
"First off, she's not a bitch. Second off, stop telling lies because you know I don't like you." He says.
"Then why did you invite me?"
"Because- I don't know why. I don't think sometimes." He says and Acacia pulls her arms off of him, mad as hell.
"You're right you don't think sometimes. I don't even know why you broke up with me in the first place." She says. I can totally see why Connor did, but I was going to let him tell her, that is if he was going to tell the truth.
"You know damn why."
I smile a little bit when he says that. I was glad he was sticking up for me, but I wanted to know why he invited her in the first place. He was obviously thinking something about her before I came in. They could have gotten to do worse if I didn't walk in and interrupt them. I couldn't even image the thought of them fucking in my mind without wanting to run and cry.
"I think you should go," he looks straight at me but pushes her off of him. My heart sinks I turn around to leave, but before I could exist he speaks up quickly.
"Not you....you!" He says pointing to Acacia.
"You like me, Connor. Stop pretending your feelings for me are wrong because she is here. Did any of that stuff we did today mean nothing to you?" I kept wondering on all the "stuff" they did, but I tried to not think about it. I really didn't want to think of all the things she could possibly think they did.
"I don't."
"Stop lying!"
"I'm not!"
"I think I really should go," I speak up and try to leave again, but Connor stands up and walks over to me and grabs my hand.
"But that's the thing," he says and smiles at me. "I don't like you. Kissing you was a huge mistake and I regret every single thing about it. We once had a thing, but we are now done. I will never get back together with you. You wanna know why? Because you're a bitch and you control people. When I was with you all we would do was make out and try to have sex, that's just not who I am. I wanted to be a real couple, someone we didn't have to show off for. We were never a real couple and I hated the whole thing. I was miserable with you." Connor shouts and is out of breath by the time he is finishes.
I honestly didn't expect any of that from him. Whatever happened, I knew Connor wasn't trying to play me and he was just confused out of his mind. I just wanted to know why he would invite her over when he knew I hated her. I didn't care if it was a mistake, he still did it and it hurt.
Acacia stands up from his bed and walks over to us, Connor still holding my hand and Acacia in defeat but tries to hide her pain. it was over for her. I looked down at Connor's hand intertwined with mine. I wanted to believe he was doing this because he really cares about me like that, but part of me is feeling like he is only doing this to have Acacia leave him alone. I would be fine with that, but I wish he wouldn't try and use me for that.
"You're lying!" She whines and throws a fit.
"I'm really not, you don't need to throw a fit. You're nineteen Acacia, you should really act more your age. Also, if someone was bothering me I would come out and say it. I don't make other people feel bad with my lies like you do. I don't even know why I keep talking to you. Leave!" He shouts.
It all traced by in my mind to his camera. Whenever I would ask him about it he looked like he was bothered by it, or he didn't want to talk about it. Why didn't he want to talk about it? It's just a god damn camera. And lies, he lies but he doesn't hurt people with them. I honestly wish I knew what was going on.
"I need to take a shower anyway, I have to start my internship at KROV soon and I don't want to be late." I tell him and let go of his hand to grab my towel. Acacia is still standing in our room throwing a fit. I wish she would get out of here anyway.
"And I think it's best if you go too," Connor grabs Acacia arm and pushes her out of the room. He sighs and falls onto the bed and hides his face in his pillow. He didn't look up from the pillow as I entered out of the room. I wonder what was going on in his mind.
I look a decent shower and thought about everything that was going on in my life right now. All of a sudden I began to sing and sang a couple of songs before I got out. I dried off my body and threw on some jeans and a t-shirt with my converse and threw my hair up in the towel. I decided I wasn't going to do anything with my hair right now. I put on some makeup and headed out to the dorm room. As I was fumbling for my key, I realized that I had left it in the room. I knocked on the door for Connor to come and get me, but there was no answer. He must have fallen asleep.
I slid down on the door and realized I would be late if he would just open the door. I waited at least twenty minutes and there still wasn't an answer. As time went by, I decided to sing a little to pass time. He really needed to open the door.
Soon enough, my prayers were answered and the door flung open and my back fell into the room. I look up and noticed Connor standing over me, smiling. He obviously was hearing me sing this whole entire time.
"Connor!" I shout.
"Uh-yeah?" He says scratching the back of his head like he was trying to hide what he was doing, he was obviously failing miserably. He looked super cute when he was all innocent looking.
"What were you doing behind that door?" I question him. I walk into the room and we sit on my bed.
"I was sort of listening to you sing. I fell asleep and woke up when I heard the pounding, and when I went to go let you in, I heard you start to sing and I wanted to heat you. You're really good." I smile when I hear him say that.
"Thank you,"
Awkward silence fills the air before I finally break the silence with one of the many questions I had for him.
"So you wanna tell me what made you invite Acacia here and make out with her on your bed? I thought I remember clearly that you don't even like her." I jumble out all the words as fast as I can and he starts to laugh, spreading massive amounts of confusion to plaster on my face.
"Listen, at first I didn't know what I thought about her. I invited her over here to tell her to lay off of you and my friends and she said she would if we kissed. I don't know, I thought maybe it was going to be resolved after that, but she ended up being a really good kisser, and I don't know-maybe I enjoyed it. But I regret it and I don't want anything to do with her."
I let him talk and explain to me everything that went on. It seemed lately all we do is talk and we haven't done much together alone since then. usually it's about our personal lives and it's really only me talking, but it was kind of nice hearing his side of things, even if it was about Acacia. And he may have enjoyed the kiss, that stung a whole lot.
"Ca-can I ask you something?" He stutters through his words and tries to figure out what he is going to say next.
I nod, not quite sure what he was going to do.
"I know it's only been two weeks and I know we haven't really gotten any closer, but I was wondering if-um-you'd like to go out on a date with me tomorrow night." He talks really fast and he's out of breath by the time he finishes.
I smile at him amazed. He wanted to take me out on a date? We barley know each other. He was really serious when he was holding my hand, and when he kissed me at that party and admitted to everyone that he likes me. This wasn't a game, and I was happy. As much as I kept thinking about the event that just unfolded a half an hour ago none of that mattered anymore.
"I would love too." I smile, which made him blush.
He was too cute. He was shy, but outgoing and I liked that about him.
"I mean, you don't have to."
"I would love to," I smile at him and grab his hand and rub m fingers on his knuckles. "I would also love to stay and chat, but I have to get going to KROV and make sure I'm on time. I want to make a good first impression I tell him.
"I'm sure you will do great." He lets go of my hand and walks off of his desk and sits in his swivel chair. He looks down at his lap and his smile soon fades away.
"What's wrong?" I ask him.
"Nothing is wrong, I'm just tired." He explains, I knew he was lying but I was in no mood to end up arguing with him.
As I took the towel out of my hair and brush it, he looked even more sad. There was nothing more than I wanted to do right than text Ricardo and reschedule, but Connor said he was fine. I also wanted to make a good first impression, and even though he is one of my friends, I didn't want to piss him off. He gave me this amazing opportunity and I didn't want to take advantage of it. Especially since I heard from Connor that he doesn't take just anyone for these internships and he doesn't give them out very often.
"I'm only going to be gone for a few hours, okay? When I get back we can watch a movie if you want."
He nods and looks down at his lap again. I got up to his and hugged him as I grabbed his keys off of his desk. He told me that whenever I needed to use a car that I could use his. I sort of felt bad, but he did say whenever. It just reminded me that I really need to get a car soon.
When I got into the car I sat there for a moment and looked around. Connor had clothes and CD'S all in the back seat of it. He had a gold chain necklace hanging from the rear view mirror and had tons of random junk in the passenger seat. Also, there was a really distinctive smell, not a bad one, but it smelled like him a lot. As I drove away to the station it made me realize how much I miss him. When I was at a stop light I shoot Connor a text.
*Your car smells just like you which only makes me miss you already, it's only been fifteen minutes*
When I got to the studio I opened up my texts and my heart broke when I saw the first one was from Connor.
*You have no idea how much I'm hurting right now :(*
I checked my message from Lindsay which was just a text from her asking if we had any homework in photography, and then checked my message from Ricardo.
*When you get here you can come right in. It's studio 4. I will be done with this interview in 10 minutes*
I shove my phone back in my pocket and find studio 4. When I finally find it I open up the door and went into a small room. It was pretty small for a studio, but it was a lot bigger than our dorm room. There were a few couches on the side of it and a recording booth on the other side, that was smaller than our dorm room. There was also a sound board, computer screens, and other equipment all around. Ricardo was sitting in a stool with headphones on giving an interview with someone I had no clue who it was. The radio station was playing quietly above and I could hear everything. I sat on one of the couches and listened.
When he was finished with the interview, he said goodbye to the guy and the guy walked out of the room. Ricardo announced some other things and played some songs. When he was finished, he set the headphones down and walked over to me and hugged me.
"You made it," he smiles and pulls away.
"Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity it really means a lot." I tell him. and look around the room amazed, this place was a lot cooler than the one back in Los Angeles I worked at.
"Not a problem. But right now we need to take care of something before we get you used to everything in here, follow me." He walks me over tot he place where the guy he interviewed before and told me to put on a pair of white beats. He handed over a microphone and told me to talk when he tells me to. I nod and wait for him to get back on air. I had no idea what he was up to but I was excited.
"So that was Live While We're Young, but One Direction. Pretty great tune huh? Now before the commercial break, we just had an interview with Reed Deeming, who was a contestant on the XFactor. He was a pretty cool friend and I love having him here, let me know if you want him back here in the studio to play a couple of songs." There was a short pause before he talked again.
"Now we have in the studio is a good friend of mine from college, Mackenzie Burns who will be interning here for a while now. You will be hearing from her for a little while on now and I promise you she will be a great person to have here." He looks at me and gives me a look to talk.
"Hi," I say and I can hear my voice echo back. It was strange because I had never done this before, even when I was back in LA I was only the sound person.
"So tell us a little about yourself?" He asks me.
"I go to Saint Benedict University which is only a few miles down from St. Johns. I don't really know. I like music. I have always wanted to be a DJ, so I'm thankful for Ricardo for giving me this opportunity."
"What has gotten you so interesting in being a DJ? I mean, was there someone in particular that inspired you? Was it the atmosphere you lived in helping with it? I know you're from the Los Angeles area."
"Yeah, yeah I am. I just really enjoyed music and listening to it, particular the way music sounds and the way it's engineered. Music has been around me for the longest time. Whether it's me producing it, playing it or signing it I love music all together."
"That's pretty amazing. So what are you studying at college?" He asks me changing the subject.
"Funny story," I mention. "Since there really isn't much you can do to help with the things I'm interested it, I kind of just enrolled in some fun classes and video classes just to take up time."
"So you're going to college to get random college degrees you don't really need? Why would you spend so much money on college if you don't need it?" He asks me, he already knows the answer, but this was part of his job.
"Both of my parents went to these colleges. I assume it's a tradition to go here, or as that's what I was told my first day here. They want me to be a doctor or something I really have no interest in. Of course that's not me, but I really want to experience college. I guess it's to make them happy."
"Don't you think that is a little unfair? I mean you're eighteen years old for crying out loud, you do have some rights."
"I guess I'm just trying to make my "perfect little family" happy." He laughs.
"You just put air quotes over perfect little family. Why is that?"
For the next fifteen minutes Ricardo interviewed me a bit. We took a break and then he showed me where everything was and how to use it. He told me that from seven to eight I would be the DJ here, playing music of sorts and whenever he needed me, to do some interviews or even take some. He also mentioned that Connor told him that I sing, and if I wanted to I can sing on air. I respectfully declined because I don't want to be that.
After we were finished, we took a small break and drank some coffee while we listened to the radio. He was finished for the night, and someone else would be taking over soon. I was glad with the things that were happening in my life.
"So I heard Connor asked you out." Ricardo asks me. I shoot him a confused look.
"A bird told me." He means Connor.
"Yeah," I blush.
The thought of Connor puts a smile on my face. I never thought I would like him like this, I always thought he would be just another roommate to me. He wasn't really my type, but I guess he is now. And everything that happened between him and Acacia I was surprised things hadn't spiraled down yet.
"He's a really nice guy, Mackenzie. You should be honored going out on a date with him. So many people would kill to be in your position." I smile and laugh at him.
"Why are you jealous? Do you have a crush on him too?" I joke, causing him to burst into laughter. I sip out of my coffee and set it on the table in front of us.
I was glad I could talk to someone and makes jokes with and didn't make them so serious. It was nice just talking to someone who understands things better than anyone I know. Ricardo was a smart person, he was also the oldest friend I've had. Even though he was only twenty three, he was still a pretty amazing friend.
"I mean he's just a normal guy. He is really amazing." It was a little weird gushing about Connor to one of his friends, but Ricardo didn't seem to mind. He was like an older brother. He gave me great advice both on Connor and how to be better at what I do.
"Yeah...he seems a lot more popular here than people make him out to be."
"I can see that," I mumble thinking about all the people telling me Connor isn't that popular, but he seems to know everyone, and people tell me to watch out for him because he is so popular around here. What else don't I know about him?
I glance over to the clock just to randomly check the time and when I do, I realize how late it is.
"Shit!" I yell, almost knocking Ricardo over and he looked at me nervous that I was hurt or something.
"What?"
"I told Connor I would be back in at least two hours, I basically just ditched our movie night. I'm such a bitch!" I mutter and rush to pack up my things and end up knocking over my coffee all over the floor. I drop my things to the floor and try and wipe it up with some napkins, but Ricardo pulls me away and laughs.
"It's fine. Go and make things right with him, I'll clean this up." I rush to pick my things up and look at him.
"Are you sure?"
"Just go!" He laughs and I bolt out of the studio and to the car before I can make any other mistakes. I rush back to campus before I can make Connor wait any longer. I feel so bad. I needed to make things right.