Lucky Earthlings?
MONDAINE SACH
"Oh my gosh! I'm super duper late! What the fuck!" I almost forgot I have my job interview today and I only have 30 minutes to prepare. Damn!
"Mommy, why didn't you wake me up this early?" I called mom in the living room. She's watching some terrific tv shows as if she doesn't know about my appointment today.
We live in a two-storey house here in Makati, which my Australian dad bought for us. My dad visits us here only once in a blue moon, and that's so annoying because we're missing him. I grew up in Sydney and decided to be here after my college. I don't speak the Philippine language. We've just been here for only six months, I guess, so I'm not yet familiar with Filipino or Tagalog. .
"Mommy?!" I yelled at her because it seems that she's so focused on what she sees on the television.
"Oh, dear you're awake! Eat your breakfast now." She answered without even looking at me.
"Mommy, I gotta go. I have my job interview today, but you didn't wake me up. I'm so damn late."
"Ah, so it was my fault? Nah, little Daine, go now or loose that job! I've been waking you up so early but you just hid in your blanket. Now, go!" My mom told me those in an authoritative voice.
I ran as fast as I could as soon as I reach this huge building where I was scheduled for an interview today. I am already fifteen minutes late!
"Ah, excuse me Miss, where's the CEO's office?" I asked the receptionist. In fairness, she looks so gorgeous.
"Do you have any appointment with the CEO, mam?" she politely replied.
"Yes, actually I have an interview with him and I think I am about twenty minutes late." Oh shame on me.
"What?? Mam, you must impress him even in your first interview. By the way, you're Mondaine Sach, right?" She asked as if she knows me.
"Yes, how did you know?"
"Because the CEO told me to give your resume back as soon as you get here. He's no longer interested to hire you." She gave me a folder containing my résumé and credentials with a "you don't belong here" look and a raised eyebrow.
"What? The heck! No, please let me talk to him. I badly need that job. I need that job! Don't you get it?!" I didn't notice I was already screaming out loud in that lobby. My gosh that's so embarrassing.
All the staff on that area gave their most scary glance. I hurriedly went out of that building before they eat me.
So unfortunate me, because as soon as I get outside, I was hit by a vacuum vendor with the vacuum's handle into my face.
I was knocked out on the street. Oh huh.. Ouch what a life men! The ending, I was brought to the hospital. Clumsy me, isn't it?
'Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω''Ω'
STEVE REYES' POV
"Ma, nun nagpaulan po ba ang Diyos ng charm at kaguwapuhan tulog ako?" seryosong tanong yan na ngayo'y naisipan kong itanong kay mama. Pano ba naman kasi sa 20 niligawan ko 25 ang bumasted sa akin! Saklap ng buhay. Graduate naman ako ng college at may magandang trabaho. I'm kind and sweet, too. Pero bakit? Buhay nga naman oh parang life na walang buhay na pilit binibigyang life. Gulo eh, noh? Feel niyo ba mga dude?
"Anak, don't tell me nabasted ka na naman?" Halata naman magtatanong pa si Mama. Pang ilang beses na ba'to? Di ko na ata mabilang. Since college pa'ko wa epek na sa mga chicks tong mukha kong pang 70's.
"Ma, ano po ba gusto niyong mga babae? Hirap niyo amuhin." Desperadong sagot ko sakanya.
"Steve, just be yourself in front of a girl you want. If she likes you, she'll accept even the weirdest side of yours. Get it?"
"Ma, I did what you said but still I end up like this. Magpakababae na lang kaya ako? Hayy." Naiinis na talaga ako sa mga babae. Ang aarte.
"What?! Steve stop that nonsense. Nagkataon lang na you gave your effort to the wrong girl. They don't deserve you." Mama hugged me to comfort me.
"Ma sa dami po ng niligawan ko lahat pala yun wrong person for me? Ano ba yan."
Nagpahinga na ako after the conversation with mother. I really need rest.
Krrrrriiiiing! Krrriiiiiing!
Napabalikwas ako ng bangon. My office mate's calling. Istorbo eh.
"Yes, hello Ralph? What do you want?" Sounds rude, but I don't care. Nabasted ako eh at wala ako sa mood, bakit ba?
"Yo! Chill bro. Just wanna talk to you man!"
"Ano nga kelangan mo?!" Iritadong sagot ko. Di pa kasi sabihin agad eh.
("Wala ka pa ngang girlfried menopause ka na. Tsk. Init ng ulo eh.")
"Dami mo sinasabi. Will you just say what you wanted to say? You're disturbing my peaceful hibernation, tho bastard."
("Fine! I have someone to introduce. Maganda, sexy, sweet and most of all, single. I heard basted ka na naman so I think kelangan mo to. Malay mo, ito na swerte mo, pre." )
"Ralph, alam mo namang wala akong swerte sa mga ganyan. Baka heartache lang makuha ko dyan." Ayoko na mabasted masakit sa abdomen. Lol.
("Try mo muna Steve. Malay mo naman hindi ba? Baka naman kasi mali diskarte mo dude. Anyway, meet her at the Star City, 5pm and have fun. I'll send you a photo of her for you to find her quick.") toot-toot
Loko talagang yon. Patayan ba naman ako ng tawag. Pero wala naman ngang masama kung susubukan. Pupuntahan ko siya.
Tumayo na ako sa kama ko. 2pm na. I better take a shower. 20 minutes bago ako natapos maligo. I decided to wear a slack pants with my white long sleeve. Halos ipaligo ko din ang perfume sa katawan ko.
3pm na. Lumabas na ako ng kuwarto to look for Mama. I saw her in the kitchen preparing something.
"Ma, I'm meeting someone. Wish me luck, please?" I hugged my mother from behind. How I love this lady who always stand for me no matter what.
"Sure, son. Take care. Ayusin mo panliligaw, huh? Nang may maipakilala ka na ding girlfriend sa akin."
"Okay ma. I gotta go. Bye for now."
"Wait, anak don't you want to change your outfit first?" Mama said that while staring at me from head to toe.
"Why ma?"
"Eh anak, date ang pupuntahan mo, hindi hearing, hindi rin job interview at lalong hindi party o kasal. Di ka ba naiinitan dyan sa suot mo?"
"Ma, I have no time, okay? Tama na po ito. Sa ganito ako komportable eh."
"Okay, ikaw ang bahala. Sige na ingat ka ha?!"
Eksaktong alas singko ay nakarating na ako. Tinignan ko muna ang picture na sinend sa akin ni Ralph para mas mabilis ko mahanap yung babaeng sinasabi niya.
Wow! Ang ganda naman pala. Looks like my time won't be wasted here.
Luminga - linga ako sa paligid and bingo! I saw her. She's so flawless and with a height of 5'6 maybe. Amazing! She looks like the supermodels I am dreaming to be with. She's wearing a black striped dress which complements her fair skin. Mahaba din ang unat niyang buhok na may high light na light brown. Lumapit ako sa kinauupuan niya.
"Hi, miss ikaw ba yung pinapunta ni Ralph Gomez? Atasha is your name, isn't it?" medyo nahihiyang tanong ko sa magandang dalaga.
Ngumiti naman siya bigla at tumayo.
"Ah, excuse me, who are you? And who's Ralph Gomez? I think you got the wrong person, mister. I am not Atasha, okay? Bye." Nagsimula naman siyang lumakad at ang sexy niya talaga. Oo nga pala hindi ko suot ang salamin ko. Kaya siguro napagkamalan ko siya. But I'm pretty sure na she's prettier than that woman Ralph wants me to meet. Hinabol ko siya.
"Miss, wait!"
Takbo ng mabilis Steve. Sa kakatakbo ko, isang kahiya-hiyang pangyayari na naman ang nagawa ko. Sumabit ang sapatos ko kung saan kaya naman na out of balance ako at natumba. Sakto pagdaan ng isang babae. Akala ko sakanya ako matutumba. To my surprise, nasubsob lang naman mukha ko sa hita ng isang baklang nakabestida. Ewww. Pag angat ko ng tingin, kamukha siya ng pinasang picture sa akin ni Ralph. Mas maganda yung nasa picture. Ang gagong yon bakla ang iseset up sa akin?!
"Oh, hi pogi. Enjoy ka ata dyan sa singit ko? Tara may alam akong lugar." Sabay kindat pa niya. Doon ko napagtantong hawak ko pala ang legs niyang pang macho at nakadapa pa rin ako. Nakakahiya sa madla. Bat di na lang ako lamunin ng lupa? Agad akong bumangon at nagpagpag ng damit.
"Sorry po. Sige, I have to go."
"Wait lang, ikaw yung sinabi ni Ralph na imeet ko. Tama! Ikaw bga yung nasa picture na pinasa niya sa akin." Pagkasabi niya ay agad niya akong hinalikan. Kadiri at pinagtitinginan pa kami ng mga tao. Ano ba itong napasok ko.
Inalis ko ang pagkakapulupot ng kamay niya sa akin at saka tumakbo.
"Pogi, wait.! Pasasayahin naman kita eh. Come here baby." Pilit niya pa rin akong hinahabol. Para na akong timang kakaiwas. Di bale ng single wag lang ako mapunta sa syokla. Tsk.