"STOP RIGHT THERE"
amandala is the first thought that comes to my head. that voice. that jagged horrified voice locks into my brain.
my body freezes.
so does noah's
then i swear i feel the brush of noah's lips connecting to my shoulder. my very cold pale shoulder. i can slightly make out the shape of his hair and the way the dip in his lip is curved. but I don't look to hard. because right now.
50 guards are lined up. in a row.
with guns
steel hard machine guns
and right in front of them
is no other than amandala.
her gaze is set and well as her jaw. i see a flash of anger before her eyes. but I don't care. she's a monster. a liar
she killed my mom
she deserves to die
she deserves anything and everything.
.....
my breathing fastens as noah hands let go of me slightly. we part and he looks down at the ground.
great.
we can't leave after all
just like noah had said.
together.
but then i realize one thing. noah was shaking. he never shook.
something was happening.
he looks up beneath of his long brown lashes. and that's it for me. im dead. i'm trying not to stare to hard at his face. his- beautiful face that is. his eyes tearing up.
he lets go of the door. nods his head toward me and looks deep into my eyes. he nods again.
i shake my head several times. i know what is about to happen. and i won't let noah do this to himself. but how will i go? will they kill me here?
but before i could think of anything else.
amandala speaks. i want to rip her voice out of her throat. no harm done
"AH Mr.Brooks always looking out for his... friends.. well. i should say.. friend" noah doesn't look up at her. noah doesn't do anything. he's staring straight forward. i'm getting worried now. what else will that witch say. she better not-
she steps away from the group of armed soldiers. and slightly smiles through her gritted teeth.
"i'm glad you understand what is happening now noah. you stupid stupid boy."
that gets noah's attention. his head shoots up to glare up at her
"how could you betray us Amandala? how could you even possibly think-"
"possibly getting away with killing the girls beautiful mother?" "well sweetheart. i did." "and i promise you, if she leaves us, she will be dead too. just like her mother"
mom
so it is true.
she really did
i've had enough
"YOU YOU-"
but someone's arms grab mine and yank me back
noah
of course
"no Clara. dont"
"SHES A MONSTER"
"shhh"
tears are threatening to fall. one does. but noah stops me and pushes me out of the way so he can face her. amandala. he then looks up at me and gives me a look. stop he's saying. let me handle this. let me destroy her. he looks frightened. and strong. and determined.
"ms bates i'm afraid naoh is correct on that one. now tell me. does your love for him-"
"YOU STOP IT RIGHT THERE OR ILL"
everyone freezes. but i hear the guns lock around me. i want to rip out her jaw. i want to kill her.
but i can't. not like that.
she just
she just asked if i loved noah
love
no
not with noah.
but.
NO
she laughs and shakes her head .
"look at that mr brooks she's blushing. maybe she wants more than friendship. maybe she wants to get into your comfy be-"
"amandala this isn't necessary right now"
thank you noah
for saving me
party because maybe what she was saying was. true..
"oh but it is my dear. because i have been watching both of you. the chemistry between you two is enormous. Clara doesn't hate you like she says she does. neither do you noah. do you?"
Stop. stop . stop it. you monster.
embarrassing monster
true monster
he stops. looks up at me. i see it. that flash that i saw the first day in school. i see noah.
i stop everything. god. i want to run up to him and hug him. tell him i'm so so so sorry and that i was so selfish and annoying and-
i know that look from anywhere.
he's telling me to go. he's telling me to stop now. run away. go before they kill him too. his back his towards the others. and his presence is so close to me. beautiful noah
everyone thinks it too
probably amandala too
i know now. i know what I need to do.
its for the better. it for the better Clara.
he nods slowly and he smiles the type of smile that your heart wishes would stop for a minute wait. then start beating again. he then turns around fully and faces her
"i would never ever like Clara"
holy crap
even though i know that's not true. and noah is trying to mess with the,. its still hurts because it's noah. he said that.
it's not true.
right.
"i'm glad we're on the same page mr.brooks" she smiles. no. i'm sorry."
then she smirks.
"come here noah."
he follows drops everything. everything. that noah is gone. im standing a little straighter. it's cold out here. the doors shut tight and the guards are not moving a single muscle. not one muscle.
i swallow hard
goddamn rock
"clara"
i rise my head slowly. choking up a sob building in my throat. i want to scream. noah. what are you doing with her. why are you leaving my side.
"this can go either two ways ms.bates."
my eyes close and one tear falls. again. and again.
"you stand there ever so quietly. and i shoot you. or-"
she turns her head to noah's
noahs
no. no. no. no NO NO NOOOO
"he can."
"noah you decide"
i whip my gaze into noah's eyes. im desperate. if he ever felt anything towards me. he would never. ever.. if i meant anything to him. anything at all. he would never kill me.
i know him. noah is not like this
"i will"
my world shatters before me. im crying. desperate. he can't do this. all of these times. hes lied to.
I-
i thought i-
"a shame really truly and big shame clara. i wish this would have turned out better dear."
i want to rip that smirk off of her face. want to rip out her perfect outfit and perfect hair.
"just shoot me then. let's get this over with" i say a little to harshly. I look up slowly at noah to see his face go complelty blank
good.
she smiles sweetly. looks me up and down and then up at the guards.
and finally to noah.
"it was lovely knowing you dear. a lot like your mother actually. beautiful eyes. too bad you won't be able to see anything anymore"
"noah you know how this goes, don't you?"
"yes commander" with a slight bow. Noahs dark hair brushing slightly in his eyes
his hair-
i wanted to run my hands through that hair
what was i thinking
"then go for it dear" and she waves her fingers like a salute. smiles. and steps back with a grin
"no, you don't what you're doing noah"
"please-just drop. the.gun." i spit throught gritted teeth
Noah turns around abruptly. his eyes ice. cut thin. like a glass. cutting deep into me. he shoots me daggers. how he always does. like
almost begging me to shut up.
i do of course
he dashes right towards me. grabs my forearm and slams me into the wall behind us. hard. i mean really really really really hard. i whimper quietly as he covers my mouth with is hand.
his body heat rippling into me. i feel as though i have fainted. my eyes roll backwards slightly.
and i dont look up into his eyes. his hand still tightly firm on my soft mouth. im breathing fast now
hard ragged breath course through me. Noah is staring at me, i can tell.
which leaves my blood starting to boil. I look down at my shoe nd then finally
glare right into those eyes.
"now you shut up and listen to me" "do you understand"
I could count the millimeteres his lips were from mine
maybe 2. so so close.
His warm breath kissing my face. I whimper again- but this time. louder.
he slams the but of his gun into me arm
i wince and yelp in pain.
he looks into my eyes and then slowly, lets go of his hand from my mouth.
"dont you think about scream-"
"noah" barely a whisper. barely a sound. my lips forming his name.
"just shut up. shut up Clara and let me kill you"
Amandala is giggling. giggling.
he looks up at me through those eyes. but i can't meet them. i don't want to. so i look at the ground shake my head
and i look
back to the wall. noah pressed into me. i can't breathe. i need air. he scrunches up his nose and leans in directly where my lips are.
he stops for a second. one inch is between us. i want to close it
i want to-
but. he won't. we won't ever.there will never be a ever. no more hope is left in my gut
"i'm already dead noah. just shoot me" "everything we had. everything that- god."
"i thought you-"
"what clara-"
he whips out his gun. dips his chin so it's connected to my chin. he could press his lips there. but he would never dare to.
instead he grabs it and yanks it forward so the gun is directed right into my jaw. my eyes are staring up at his.
"i want you to watch this. look at me while i shoot you clara"
several tears fall down. this is really it
this is the last time ill see noah
anyone
but
i'll see mom
at least thats something ill get to see
ill get to see my mother.
"go ahead" it's such a faint whisper, i'm not even sure noah heard it
the look in his eyes are killing me. god. i wonder how this will feel. the bullet touching my skin. everything actually fading to black.
i start counting down my last breaths
"go on noah" crying starts. everything is falling apart now.
i notice something. he's shaking. he's trying so hard not to let go of my jaw.
then something bizarre happens.
he whips the gun towards amandala.
everything freezes.
and the sound of a trigger goes off.
"RUN CLARA"
"GO RUN"
"NOAH"
"GO"
"NO I CANT-"
"I'LL BE OKAY"
"NOAH"
the guard is kicking him. pulling him down. amandala is down. one of the guards are carrying her off into the distance. she's shaking her head "you darn fools"
"you unhuman girl"
unhuman
the guard grabs noah by the shoulder, yanks him down to the ground and starts kicking him. hard.
"WHAT? what does that even-"
"you don't speak of that name." one of the guards yells towards me
i cry out to him
"STOP YOU'RE HURTING HIM PLEASE"
"CLARA. clara listen to me"
"BE QUIET NOW" the guard yells and releases him giving us some space and runs over to amandala. everything is going crazy. guards rushing towards us.
I run up to Noah. hug him. apologize. his hands are in my hair. his eyes are sealed shut. just like mine. eventually we pull away.
"noah i-i don't know what to do you were about to shoo-"
he presses a finger to my lips.
"god clara. you really think i would kill you"
"noah please"
"take care Clara"
"wait"
"clara no you need to go" another whisper. barely.
"i-" "just be safe"
"you too" he pauses. catches his breath.
he looks at me for a long moment. a very very long moment. It feels like years before I have the courage to say something. anything to him at this point. but he beats me to that idea.
"are you okay? Did they hurt you?"
"im okay" "im okay" i say. but it's rasped voices. breaking hard.
I'm still shaking and noah notices as his eyes fall to my shaky hands. He looks down and then his eyelashes sweep his dark hair. He.looks.amazing.
amazing.
Camille was so right I realize.
I look up to see Noah still burning his eyes into me, like he's trying to talk to me in another language.I notice the hitch in his breathing and the twitch of his bottom lip. His dark brown hair falls into his eyes, making them look so blue. it's remarkable that a smirky cocky boy like this one can betray such an exquisite face. Oh how looks can be deceiving.
I cant stop staring.
All of the guards are down, well most of them, but they will be waking up soon
I needed to get out of here
I needed to kill Amandala
I needed to-
"Clara"
My eyes snap up and my breathing hitches again. I'm surprised to hear his voice so low. So low I could of barely heard it myself.
"The-" he stops. halts. waits. looks down at his feet. then looks back up at me.
Like he was saying goodbye.
"you need to leave before the guards wake up, and this time they won't hesitate to kill you"
"and me"
Im still looking at him.
You.need.to.leave.
"what about you? You cant just stay here? they'll shoot you too Noah" I chirp out.
"I know-god I- im-im so sorry that this happened to you"
He stops. looks at the sky and rubs his hand over his mouth and lip, then rubs his whole face as if he was about to cry.
"so sorry" "there was nothing I-I could do to help your mother and I would have come earlier and met you and tried to work with you and get to know you so I-so i could help your mother" "and now that shes really dead I-I cant"
Noah looks like he is about to drown. And i want to be the one to save him. Becuase the look that he is giving me might just be that look that will make me save him.
Becuase noah truly means it.
Noah loved my mother
his only mother
"She was- Clara she-looked so much like you. I get so- I"
I step closer, close enough that I can see a glint in his eyes
or tears
yeah. definitely tears
my hands want to cup his beautiful face, to bury my head against his shoulders.
hug him
DO SOMETHING
He looks down at me, confused for a minute that I stepped closer.
i smile faintly and keep my eyes pinned to his. Like we're speaking our own language that no one will ever understand.
"Thank you" "Noah, I want to apologize too" "I've been really rough on you and Camille, and I never shut up about anything and I was just jealous of that kiss and- God i never meant to hurt Camille and your relationship. and then when you were mean to me- I realized that you never ever hurt me deep down, because i knew you never meant it. I knew how much my mother meant to you. I knew that when you were 15 Camille was in love with you. I knew that you didn't love her. I knew that you were once a small little boy who never spoke to anyone- and when you did, everyone-everyone loved you Noah" "But most of all" "You cared for my mother" "you actually cared about her"
"So thank you" "really i mean it"
I turn to walk away, I do. but realize I have nowhere to go.
Im not going back to Amandala. And now, i dont have a home
so where would I go?
Where would noah-
"clara I-" he stops and turns around.
his eyes go black. they turn dark. unrecognizable.
"CLARA RUN" "NOW GO WE HAVE TO MOVE"
All of a sudden guards are up and noah is hoisting me into his arms and he's carrying me as he's running and my breath doesn't know how or why i'm still obtaining oxygen into my lungs.
Hes whispering in my ear. I turn my head so my face is in his direction. His eyes and dark and his body is covered in slashes and wounds.
hes beaten. he needs to be cleaned. He needs a shower.
I need a shower
"clara be quiet we're gonna get out of here-"
"but I thought"
he cuts me off "no-no i have to come- I have to keep you away from here"
"but why? why would you even ca-"
"because I do clara- i just do"
"where are we going" A whisper. a question
"I know the perfect place"
i lean into him and shut my eyes as tight as possible.
"then lead the way" a ghostly smile appearing on my face
noah copies it and i lean into his shoulder
and everything goes
black
END OF BOOK 1