I feel like my voice has been stolen. Why is Elizabeth awake? Has the bidding failed? How are we going to get the informations? What do I do now?How do I deal with this human girl? Before I have time to do anything I'm suddenly squeezed by a hug.
-Oh! Thank you so much! I was so scared!- Her voice is so lively compared to the previous occupant. With higher pitches and a more obvious English accent. She releases me with a huge mile plastered in her features and adoring eyes in a face that moments ago seemed to only be able to express irritation, anger and mockery. -Uh.. Hello. I'm James.. I mean, I'm James Thompson.- I extend a hand to her nervously, not sure how to act towards the same body that I had hated until now. Ignoring my awkwardness she just takes my hand between hers and continues to blabber incessantly about bravery and honor.. Sincerely my head is too foggy and worried too care about her ego-massage. Catherine's voice taunts me "she is a gorgeous woman who will fall into her saviour's arms like a damsel in distress".
-..And I mean. I was so scared! I couldn't do anything until I felt it getting weaker. And I didn't know what to do then either! But I mean, something worked right?- she laughs nervously and I try to smile. This is a good time to understand Elizabeth and why Catherine chose her as host.
-Umm. You say you didn't know how to get her out? Is she.. is she still?- I didn't meant to say the last few lines, but before I know they have escaped my lips. How did she become so important? I suddenly realize how much I want to know about her past, about why she does not act in a way to make me sympathise and thus spare her life. I feel ashamed when her sad nod makes my shoulders relax.
-I can feel her.. I don't think I have too much time..- she pounds in a way that makes me confused whether she is truly sad or if she is joking around the fact that she will soon be repossessed. I try to calm her but she is quick into interrupting me with a curious tone. And I notice that instead of wrinkling her nose she instead raises her eyebrows in a way that seems a mixture between curious and sad.-Who is Catherine?- Her face lights up. -You figured her name! That is splendid!-
-No! I mean. I just gave her that name because it felt wrong calling her Elizabeth.- Her happiness deflates and she stares at her shoe, absently quicking a rock. Before I have time to console her she chirps up. Her mood swings are surely tiring aren't they?
-Why did you name her that though? You should have given her a wicked name! Sorry, that was unladylike.- She drops her gaze shy at her outburst. She seems so naive it is endearing. I feel an unpleasant tug in my chest when I'm forced to respond.
-Eh. It because I feel like she is like a caged animal you know? She acts all proud and uninterested but if you allow her to escape her cage or if you put your hand in there she will maul you to death. So.. Cat. Catherine- Okay. That totally didn't sound completely retarded. I can almost feel her voice mocking me. Elizabeth pounds at me coldly, angry that I gave so much thought into something she hates. Trying to compensate I offer my arm in order to escort her to the train station. She happily takes it and trots cheerfully next to me. How can she be so carefree after being taken from her body? I look at her and see that her eyes show a different story. She seems worried about something, and I get the impression that it has nothing to do with Catherine. I gently caress her hand, glad that she doesn't send shivers through me every time my skin touches hers.
-What is wrong Elizabeth?- She looks at me like she has just woken up from a dream.
-Nothing darling! I was just thinking about how much catching up I will have to do after this. So many plays and concerts I am missing right now.. I mean, that was unladylike- She blushes and drops her eyes. I chuckle a little to ease the tension and she smiles gratefully. This is a full turn from Catherine, I can' wrap my head around how different they are. Catherine always felt like she was going against all textbook rules of demons. Of course she can't really have feelings, she must be tricking me. Trying another technique apart from the vicious/docile usuals. Yet with Elizabeth I feel like she is the incarnation of what complicated women are like. Her actions seem odd and exaggerated even for a high class aristocrat. Why can't things just be easy and simple like they used to. Why can't demons just be mindless plagues and not my own mother and Catherine? Why can't Elizabeth just be a scared woman? I try to disperse my thoughts. We finally arrive in the empty station and stay in a thick silence before Elizabeth interrupts it. -I was weak.. That is why she took me. I was being forced to marry this old man and that weakened me.- I can't help but to pick up the slightest traces of tenseness in her voice. She seems anxious and I can't help but wonder why.
-Oh..- she raises her hand to her chest before collapsing in my chest. Could they stop doing that? My fingers feel like they have taken an electrical charge as I hold her. Dark eyes flutter open and a mischievous grin emerges.
-Meow-. Great.
*********************************
-Catherine..I like it.- She interrupts her desperate wolfing down of food for the mocking commentary. I roll my eyes at her from the other side of the table. After we took the train to my house in the city Catherine had attacked all my food stock while I sorted through newspapers for any recent clues. She was probably in her third chicken pie by now.
-Yeah. I get it. You can listen to stuff while not in control.- A thought creeps through me -Can Elizab.-
-Nope.- she interrupts me again and I have to make a conscious effort to not throw the chicken pie on her. She continues not minding at all to push food inside her mouth mid-speech
-Elizabeth is too weak for that. Plus I leave her nicely tucked in in the back of my spirit, thus she feels none of the "pain and fear" she was complaining about earlier. I was the one left in the uncomfortable emptiness of her empty head since she has no idea how to keep a soul hidden.- her tone is dripping with acid and I can't not feel impressed by how different both girls are. Only my luck to get stuck with two women with polar opossite personalities and the same body.
-Are you seriously in your third pie?- Smooth James.. Really smooth way to begin a conversation. She wrinkles her nose and I now know that that is a personal detail, not something stolen from Elizabeth. She surprisingly answers my question, and I can't help but wonder why she became so talkative now.
-Well.. Us Shadows don't really get food. And even when we do we don't get the same pleasure from eating like you humans do.- Happy with her explanation she resumes swallowing the poor pie before giving a small burb. I can't keep it inside of me as laugher bubbles its way and I find myself contorting with laughter. All the absurdity of these two days finally hits me with full force. Having a high class demoness burbing in my living room was really the final straw. I keep laughing while she protests, obviously embarrassed by the unfamiliar urge of gas liberation.
-Hey! Stop laughing.. It was not my fault.- She follows me as I drag my body to the couch, my stomach hurting from the incessant laugh. In an attempt to make me stop Catherine pounds and sits on top of me, sending shivers down my body which successfully causes my laughter to die out. But before she can declare victory another burb escapes her lips and I almost knock her off with the new wave of laughter. This time though she begins to chuckle along, even though her red face and quivering lips make it obvious she is trying to keep her human body from giving it's normal response.
As the joy finally subsides and my thoughts become clearer I notice that she is laying on my chest, her eyes curious, and I realize she is listening to my heart beat. I open and close my mouth like a fish. Unable to throw her off me, she then pushes herself up which causes more goosebumps in my body. Before I can say anything she asks in a to-the-point voice, crossing her arms defensively.
-Can I use your bird for tonight? I know your house has protections, but if any other Shadow sees me here they will kill me.-
-Sure.. -I avoid eye contact and catch the sleeping golden ball curled up in my bag. She is your prey James. And you are hers. It's no time to be making friends. I catch a glimpse of her nervously looking around and a little pain pinches my heart. She is scared. Catherine knows she can't do anything in that body. And she is scared.
Trying to keep from looking at her eyes I hand Deanus over and he chirps annoyed at the fact he will have to protect a Shadow and I motion to the couch. -You can use the couch. There must be some blankets in the closet next to the bathroom..- I keep my voice stern and professional.
-Oh. I though you'll force me to sleep in the balcony, I guess giving you a lap dance really paid off.- Her voice drips with sarcasm and I feel my face burning. Clenching my fists until my knuckles turn white I turn around and head to my bedroom.
-I can still change my mind Catherine- I bark at her before closing the door and throwing myself in my bed, yet the soft mattress offers no comfort to my rage as my chest feels like exploding from frustration. She is still a demon. No matter how much she acts like if she has feelings. And when the time comes you will kill her. But I can't shake away the voice in my head that says: But your own Mother was a Shadow.
So what do you know really?
After a longer shower than usual and placing the daily salt charms around doors and windows I finally slip into my bed. Signing as the familiar scents calms my nerves. I must have slept for about three hours when I am awakened by screams coming from the living room. Instinctively taking my gun as my heart races I bolt barefooted to the living room. They got in. They killed her. My head feels heavy as I turn and see Catherine's figure struggling in the ground. My eyes take a few desperate moments to adjust to the darkness as in the back of my head I realize she had closed all curtains. I move next to her and realize she is alone, screaming and fighting against a nightmare. She mumbles incoherent phrases and tries to kick and claw me as I hold her despite the shivers that confirm me that this is indeed Catherine and not Elizabeth. Night terrors, I remember when my sister had them after a particularly bad exorcism. Almost without thinking I hold her close despite her screams and struggle until she seems to relax and proceeds to sob quietly on my shoulder. What have you got yourself into? I hate my job.
She continues to mumble and I release my breath knowing she is still asleep. I try to lift her and I'm surprised at how much she weights. My body shakes slightly from the uncomfortable position but I'm finally able to lower her unconscious body in the couch. I stay in the complete darkness filled only with both our ragged breaths. Slowly, hesitantly, I move a sweaty lock of hair from her face and notice how cold she is. That girl.. She probably didn't even look in the closet. She is not used to having a mortal body at all.. The thought amuses me as I take a cover from my closet. How she is ignorant about things that seem so normal to us like cold. Carefully to not awake her I place the cover over her, and softly place her head over a pillow. She murmurs something and curiosity bites me. I place my ear over her mouth to catch her words. What I hear freezes me in the spot. -He will .. the Hunter.. I don't want to...Let me die- At the last statement a hiccup escapes her lips and I feel tears streaming down her face. Guilt stabs me and I retreat. Gently taking her hand. Not thinking about my words I try to calm her despite everything.
-No one will kill you.- I whisper and another wave of guilt washes over me. How can I make such a promise when I am the one who will kill her? Yet my words seem to calm her and she is soon sleeping deeply again. I rise and silently go back my own bed even though I know I won't be able to sleep. Catherine is not a mindless monster. She understands she will be killed and is.. afraid. The fact that she is a female, has a name, feelings, a personality, sense of duty and a twisted, yet real honor, just makes her seem more.. not human.. but more humane. And that scares the living daylights out of me.