{Champagne Kisses - Jessie Ware}
....I count every kiss, 'til I'm finally sleeping, this love supreme, that's why I'll always give in...
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June 29th
There is a point which we all must face the reality of everything being somewhat ephemeral. Ephemeral things are short-lived occurrences which are vibrant and burn brightly.
In the drought of that summer as the sun-scorched the earth with such a powerful force, I felt the pang of the reality that everything comes to an end. My family was becoming less and less of a solid entity, fading into the ether before my very eyes. I knew that my ties to the family I had always been surrounded by were to become memories of a life I lived before I wandered into the world like a child, barefoot and helpless, learning to walk on my own.
It was both a blessing and a curse that nothing was to last forever. It was both lights at the end of a tunnel and a dark shadow in my life, and it made me treasure everything. I let it dissolve into my skin as it overwhelmed me, so I would always know that this life, this moment, this feeling was real and that it actually happened. So when my heart would beat in days to come, it would beat stronger, faster and more loudly than before with the weight that it would carry. The weight of that summer. The weight of all that I was to gain and all that I was to lose.
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Each step filled my muscles with a burning love for the small infinity in which Elliot and I co-existed. Each twirl, each breathless moment between us as he held me against him before the music parted us sent me into an ecstasy I was becoming slowly addicted to. The fluidity in our movements was spotless, and the tension that filled the room as his hands held my body so assuredly made me crave more. Sweat covered our skin lightly, but we were so completely lost in each other during the dance, it wasn't until the music stopped that we realised where we were, the walls of the dance studio coming back into focus as the night sky made the lights in the studio brighter.
"We did it." He held me close to him, both of us breathless and tangled together.
Then I realised what his words actually meant—the dance. We had finally mastered it. We both smiled ecstatically, relieved that we had finished learning the routine in time for the competition. In the euphoria around us, I wasn't even worried about the prospect of dancing with him in front of anyone.
"We did, didn't we?" I teased, pulling him down to my lips, kissing him unapologetically as his hands that held me with a dancer's strength moulded and formed into arms that held me like a lover.
Before I completely lost myself in the taste of his lips on mine, he pulled back, forcing my raging hormones to calm themselves.
"I have a surprise for you." He whispered, placing his forehead against mine as we breathed together, the electricity between us becoming harder and harder to suppress. Excitement took over as I wondered what the surprise was.
"What is it?" I smiled brightly, my cheeks hurting from the constant happiness I felt when I was around him, but I wasn't about to start complaining.
I had been a bundle of nerves all day since my altercation with Benjamin, and with my family literally falling apart. I should have been a complete wreck. Instead, I was breaking out of my shell and finding my feet not only planted firmly on the ground but planted in dancing shoes; I found it extremely easy to get used to wearing.
"Follow me." His eyes held a promise of something, like a hypnotic edge and I followed mindlessly, wandering out of the dance studio with his hand holding mine tenderly, his thumb stroking mine as he led me back to the firefly surrounded cabin with its lights and candles I was so used to being near.
The wooden cabin stood as a sanctuary for us, away from the prying eyes of everyone around us. It held so many memories and even when I passed it during the day with my family or on my way back to my own cabin, I felt an emotional tether to its prevalence in my memory, like a totem of the change that had taken place in me.
I was no longer the girl who sat sullenly while her family squabbled and waited for her absent brother to fulfil his promise and come home to see her. I was no longer the girl who nodded and accepted the life set out before me on a platter, and I was no longer afraid of the uncertainty around every corner.
Elliot stood at the door, his face full of anticipation for his surprise. I was so filled with excitement I could barely contain myself. "Close your eyes" His voice caressed my ears as I obeyed, my eyelids fluttering to a close as I felt his hand take hold of mine as he guided me over the threshold of the door. "Okay, open them." When his fingertips let go of mine, I let my eyes open to a sight that made me intake a sharp breath.
All around the room were rose petals. Small petals scattered across the floor, the window and the bed and in Elliot's hand, he held a single rose. It was simple and yet so imperfectly beautiful. The thorns on the stem reminded me of the hurdles Elliot and I were facing, but the vibrant red of the rose symbolised us.
"You did all of this for me?" I couldn't believe it. I would never have pegged him as the sappy romantic type, but the cheeky grin on his face made me all the happier.
"I just... I got a feeling you'd get the hang of the dance, and I just wanted to show you how much it means to me. Dancing with you..." He took a step closer, closing the gap between us as he let me take hold of the rose. "It's like nothing I've ever experienced before."
"I never thought I'd ever be able to dance," I confessed, laughing slightly. "Maybe it's because you were teaching me that I found I actually could, I don't know, I just know that whenever we dance, I never want to stop." My hand glided up his arm, the skin warm and soft. "Thank you for the surprise."
My eyes took in the surroundings and their rose-covered beauty.
"You make me so happy. You make me want to be... Better." His voice was low, rough as though he were fighting past thoughts in his mind, ones that he would care to forget.
"Better? I don't think anyone could get better than you." I smoothed his shirt slightly with the palm of my hand, my smile beaming and wide as I looked up at him, his face aglow in the candlelight. His arms held me so close to him that I could feel the nerves in him as he gazed at me, his mouth open as though he wanted to speak but couldn't.
"Please know that the person standing in front of you right now is the person I am, and the person I always want to be. You make me a better man."
Where was this coming from?
"You're really romantic. It's starting to seem a little out of character mister broody dancer guy."
There was so much I didn't know about Elliot Black. So much that I felt I would never know. He walked with a light step on the world, and he never seemed to have any definitive roots. All I knew was that he and his sister worked here. He was like a phantom or some ghost with no anchor to where he stood. Maybe I was his anchor now.
"Well, can't a boyfriend be cute to the girl he loves?" I froze like ice in his arms as the words tumbled out of his mouth before his wide eyes realised what he had said.
"Wait. What?" I stammered. He didn't just say that, did he? I thought to myself.
"I... Well.. Don't worry if you don't feel the same. I mean..." His heart was hammering against his ribcage as I let go of him, giving him the space to breathe, his words stopping and beginning again like a broken record.
"I do." I interrupted calmly, my palms beginning to sweat.
"You do?" The shock on his face was evident.
"Of course I do. Do you really think I'm standing here, risking my family's trust and my freedom from my parents on a fling?" I had loved him, in some way, from the moment I saw him. The way he was so different from the people I'd always been surrounded by. The way he recognised that same disdain for the classist hierarchy, we were surrounded by that first night at dinner.
"I never thought of it that way." He shrugged, his sophisticated, sexy demeanour melted as he smiled like the awkward nineteen-year-old boy he was.
"Well now you know I guess," my shoulders shrugged in return.
"God that was the most awkward 'I love you' ever," Elliot rolled his eyes as he kissed the top of my head, the heat of the candles wafting up to us making me dizzy as his lips grazed my skin.
"Say it again," I breathed, gripping his arms as I felt the electricity sparking again.
His eyes latched on to mine, and I knew that connection would not break. His lips moved to kiss mine; everything inside of my body was fighting every rational thought until all I could control was my breathing.
I allowed my hands to wander to his stomach and all of its toned muscles, as my hands lifted his shirt higher and higher until he took it off completely, his hands pulling at the zip of my dress as it cascaded to the floor effortlessly, our skin being bared to each other for the first time.
Once more, he lifted me as my legs wrapped around his waist as we fumbled our way to the bedsheets laden with rose petals. The feeling of the sheets on my skin as Elliot kissed my neck hungrily, my hands running up and down his back, the energy between us heightening to extremes.
"Ava?" He was breathless with anticipation as he held his body over me; his blue eyes overshadowing everything.
"Yes?" His finger traced a line down the centre of my chest.
"I love you." He smiled, guiding his hands back up to cup my cheek, kissing me tenderly as the sheets of his bed shrouded our bodies in a virginal white innocence. It felt right. Everything in that moment felt right.
"I love you too."
I gave him everything, surrendering fully to the magnetic pull that constantly drew me to him. He was everything to me in those moments that were so vibrant and yet so surreal. When I felt everything, I had craved all Summer.
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