Mr. & Mrs. Crazy Pants •A Jer...

By Superjusticeleaguer

22.4K 663 130

Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.... •He was deranged and twisted...• •She was a killer and loved a... More

One: Waffles & A Murder
Two: Murderous Bonding
Three: Home Run..
Four: One Of The Good Guys
Five: Every Girl Loves Neck Biting...Right?
Seven: I'm A Menace To Society...And I Love It
Eight: Are You Deranged Like Me?
Nine: What Are We, Some Kind Of Suicide Squad?
Ten: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Eleven: His Last Laugh?!?
Twelve: Friends? Foe? Who Knows?
Thirteen: The Whole Worlds Laughing
A/N GOOD NEWS KIDDIES!!!

Six: Please Don't Take My Sunshine...Away...

1.5K 50 10
By Superjusticeleaguer

Jerome:

I walk back into the house placing a little box in my jacket pocket.

When I walk into the bedroom, Quinnie was curled up with a pillow, no doubt thinking it was me.

I shrug off my jacket, take off my shoes and strip off my pants and get in the bed beside her.

The moment I pull her close, she turns to me and curls up to me.

"Mmm, you smell like donuts." I hear her whisper. "Shh, go back to bed buttercup." I kiss her temple and close my eyes, drifting off...

I woke up to the sound of pots and pants clashing from a distance. I rub my eyes and stretch, seeing Quinnie wasn't beside me.

I look over at the portrait and salute Quinnie's father and walk out the room.

In the kitchen Quinnie had Mousy on her shoulder, feeding her and making something on the stove.

I stand there and just watch her for a bit.

This girl is something. She's exciting, wild, and most of all she accepts me for me. I don't know many girls besides the ones from the circus, that would do what she's done.

None...none would do what she's done...

Quinnie turns and she smiles at me. "Good Morning! How did you sleep?"

"Great, like always. Hello, Mousy."

"Hm? Are you sure? You left out for a while last night."

She's a sharp one.

"That's because I went out and got you something but, you have to wait for it."

Her eyes light up. "Oh! Please can I have it now? I promise I'll be good."

"Nope, you have to wait gorgeous. How about we go out on a date tonight?" She pouts but smiles in the end. "Okay." She leans over and kisses my lips. "You smell like donuts."

She said that earlier. "Do I? Maybe we should go shower to get that smell off."

She looks down at Mousy then. "Hold down the fort. Don't let anyone in." She places her down on the couch and I grab her up bridal style hearing her laugh.

Yeah...this is the girl for me...

Detective Gordon:

"I think the ribbon killer is evolving." Nygma says to me as he showed me the two boys that were beat with the baseball bat.

"I thought she had a partner?"

"I think she does, but these recent killings? They have all been done by a woman. I think it's the same one."

"Hey, leave the detective work, to the detectives. Alright Ed?" Harvey says as he hands me a newspaper.

"What's this?" I read the headline and it reads:

New Killer Lurking In Gotham?

"That was published this morning and you'll never guess who gave the green light on the story."

"Let my guess, the Greenwald's?"

"Bingo. I guess they want to warn the community but this is just making more hysteria. Plus this could bring in copy cats. Women eating people....now that I think about it-"

"Harv, I don't even want to know what you're thinking. But I do have some good news. I'm getting close to knowing who killed Lila Valeska."

"Who?" I tap my temple and Harvey calls out after me. "At least give me a hint."

I find Leslie just as she was stepping out.

"Ready for lunch?" I ask. "Yeah." We step out side and head to my car.

"I was thinking about what that fortune teller said."

"Oh yeah.." I don't like where this is going.

I hold open the door for her then get in on the drivers side.

"Yes, I mean I think I know what the blind-man's message means. The servant of the devil lies in the garden of the iron sisters. It's Arkham Bridge. The iron sisters. Arkham bridge. Uh, the towers are called, Mary and Betty."

"Yeah I remember as a kid we use to call them that." I say as I drive into the street. "Right. And there's a park, under the towers on the Gotham side. A garden? It all fits."

From the corner of my eye I see her smiling from ear to ear and I sigh. "Lee, it fits an impossible story. He didn't speak with Lila. She's dead-"

"So you say."

"Come on you're a doctor. A scientist." I reason with her. "There are plenty of things in the world that can't be explained by science."

"People who enjoy folk dancing, for instance. Doesn't mean ghosts exist."

"You're very arrogant in your certainty. What if this is a clue to a murder? That poor woman."

I look back at the road feeling Leslie's eyes on me the whole time. "Fine I'll check it out later myself."

"Thank you."

"Sure, so does Chinese sound good to you?"

"How about I come with you?"

"Okay, later on then, so about lu-"

"Later?

I cringe hearing her question. "Now? You wanna go now?"

"It's only, what a half a mile away."

"I'm hungry."

"We can get food on the way back, I promise." There's no winning with her to I switch to the left lane and drive to Arkham Bridge.

We go searching by the bridge and see just a few people around, mostly elderly couple and small children.

"So what are we looking for exactly, do you think?" I ask her. "I know. I know. This is probably a complete waste of time. Thank you for doing this."

"Not a problem. But, let's not make a habit out of this okay? Even though it's daylight it's still no place for a lady."

She scoffs. "Ha!"

"What do you mean ha?"

"You're a hypocrite. You say you want a strong woman to share this crazy life you've chosen... But when push comes to shove, you want me to stay home and bake cookies."

"Not cookies, necessarily. Pie. Any kind of pie."

"Ha-ha.." She rolls her eyes and smiles at me."..so if someone three something from a car on the bridge, this is where it would land."

"Yeah, I guess you're right..." We keep looking and I happen to come across a hatchet.

"...Lee." I crouch down and with a gloved hand I pick up the dried blood hatched and dust off the leaves.

"T-H-F-C. What does that mean?" Leslie asks after she reads the inscription on the hatchet.

"The hellfire club. It's a satanist cult that commuted a string of ritual murders. But they haven't been active for a decade or more."

"I guess they're back."

"No...no I don't think so." I pick up my phone and speed dial the Sergeant's number.

"Hey, sarge. I'm gonna need a couple mobile units to pick some people up, but listen...they need careful handling." I motion Leslie to follow me and I hold the hatchet close.

I know who killed Lila. I'm sure of it...

Jerome:

Quinnie had brought us to a little diner place over on the corner of Hudson and Apple.

"They have the best waffles. But the chicken pie is to great. Hey Cherr! Let's get some service, huh?"

She shakes her head but smiles at me as she walks on over. "Hey Quinnie, hey Jerome. What can I get for you two? Also today's special is banana cream pie."

"Chicken pie, for the misses and I'll try the meatloaf. Oh, two root beers as well.

"Alright comin right up. It should all take about fifteen minutes." Cherry leaves out and I notice Quinnie looking vacantly out the window.

"Something wrong?" I touch her hand and she looks at me with a smile. "No."

"Quinnie..."

She chews the side of her lip and looks at me. "I just have a bad feeling today. Like you're going to be taken away from me."

I frown hearing her say that so I get up and slide in next to her. "No one is going to take me away from you. So cheer up, or you won't get your present."

"Okay, puddin. I guess it's silly to think that."

I then take a napkin from the napkin dispenser and take a pen out of my pocket then write down a few things.

"What's that?" Quinnie asks me as she sees me writing.

"The perfect plan for us. You and I are too smart to let our potential go to waste. So I figure in oh I don't know a year you and I will be the backbone, the runners, the owners of Gotham."

"Wait, you mean...make Gotham ours? But I hear it belongs to some guy named Don Falcone." I shrug. "So? I just want this for us. So what do you say? Be my leading lady to Gotham?"

"Yes. Yes, yes!" She curls up close to me as I keep writing.

"Jerome?"

"Hm?"

"Are we bad people?"

"No, we're unique in a special way. We get that the world is crazy. And yet we're the only sane souls in this damned place. What we did to our mothers was our way of saying you're welcome to the universe. Plus we enjoyed it. Right? Did you enjoy it?"

"I...did. It was...exhilarating to say the least."

I hand her the napkin and she reads it to herself.

"This is so simple."

"Of course, buttercup. Like I said, we're too clever to let our potential go to waste. Why if we follow this plan through, we'll practically have people doing our dirty work while we sit back and relax."

"Oh I love the things in that ginger head of yours." She hands me the napkin back and just when I'm about to take it the front door of the diner opens and two policemen came inside.

"Mr. Valeska, please come with us." I turn to them and put on my best poker face. "Have you guys caught the killer?" I ask as I get up.

"Everything will be discussed at the station."

"Jerome, is everything all right?" Quinnie scoots out of the booth and takes my hand.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Um, can she come along? To keep me company of course."

"Sure thing kid." We get escorted out and I hear the whispers as we walk out.

But all I do is pat my jacket pocket just to make sure Quinnie's gift was still there.

I was sitting in a room with a few policemen while Quinnie was waiting in the lobby.

"Is anyone going to answer my question?"

"We were told to just keep you here, we're sorry. Mr. Valeska."

I sit there quiet wondering has the shit finally hit the fan?

I play the nervous card well because when the policeman touches my shoulder I jumped a little. "Sorry, kid. Just wanted to escort you to room four."

"Oh..okay." I get up and follow him out. As I do I look and see Quinnie sitting there looking at her hands.

She still has the napkin.

"This way please." I walk into room four and see Mr. Cicero, Detective Gordon and some lady in the room.

What's Mr. Cicero doing here, the blind bat.

Detective Gordon looks at me with a smile. "Hi, Jerome. Please, take a seat." I take the empty seat next to Mr. Cicero.

"You know Mr. Cicero from the show." Detective Gordon says to me. "Yes, sir...Hello, Mr. Cicero."  I greet him. "Good afternoon, Jerome."

"Do you know why you're here?" Gordon asks me. "Did you find out who killed my mother?"

"You killed your mother, Jerome." I should feel a little bit surprised but I'm not. He's a smart detective, hmm?

Let's see how far I can go with this...

I blink and frown at what he said. "Me?"

"You killed her up on that hill and I'm pretty sure I have a good reason why Mr. Cicero is covering for you."

Why would this bastard cover for me?

I stay focused on Gordon and let him finish with his talking.

"I'm sure, he also had someone scratch those satanist saying on the axe that you used on your mother and thrown it off of Arkham Bridge."

"Sir, that's absurd and--And offensive."

"But it's the truth, isn't Jerome. But what I'm really curious about is, why this man risked so much to help you. I think he's your father."

What?

Hahahaha! Now that's a funny joke this man?

My father?

Lies!

I scoff and shake my head. "You don't know what you're taking about. My father was a sea captain." Gordon glances at the woman after I tell him that, then he looks at Mr. Cicero.

"Am I wrong, Mr. Cicero?"

"Yes."

"My father was a sea captain. His name was Sven Karlsen. He died at sea."

"What was the name of his ship?"

"He worked on a lot of different ships."

"The one he went down in..." He asks making me think.

I think for a moment and notice the bitch never told me.

"She never said..." Oh, mother you heartless cun-

"We can do a blood test to prove I'm right. Takes only a half an hour to get a result. Isn't that right, Dr. Thompkins?"

"Yes, indeed."

"Save yourself a needle."

"I do hate needles. I'm sorry, Jerome." Mr. Cicero says to me. "What are talking about?"

"He's right. I am your father."

"No, you're not. Why would you say that?"

"My dear boy, you must have suspected the truth."

"You're not my father. Mother would never-"

"Your mother was a cruel woman. She was often unkind to me, but she did love me in her way. And she loved you very much. That's why she gave you a better father." He pats my hand and I look down at my hands, letting the water works flow.

I'm bored with this game..

I look up slowly letting me cries turn into laughter.

I look back at the pathetic blind man and let him have it. Who knows maybe he'll have a fucking heart attack while I'm at it.

"My mother was a cold-hearted whore who never loved anyone. And she'd never touch a pathetic old creep like you."

"All these years, so too think I was kind to you because I'm such a good man? If I wasn't your father, would I help you as I have after what you did?"

I turn away from the old man and shrug.

"My father. Hm. I'll be damned. Oh, that's very funny. I'm sure Quinnie would get a kick out of this too. Hahahahahahaha." I pretend I'm hitting a drum roll and sigh.

"Looks like the bitch got me with a Zinger in the end."

"Why did you kill your mother, Jerome?"

"Oh, you know how mothers are. She just kept pushing. And I'm like, fine, mom. Be a whore. Be a drunken whore even. But don't be a nagging, drunken whore. You know? Don't come yell at me to do the dishes... If you ever been banging a clown in the next room!" I pound my fist into the table hard and I don't even feel the pain.

"Yah know?" I cackle looking at the old man, then at Gordon. They all look at me like I'm an insane man, but no. I know the secret.

I'm the most sane person in this very room...

Quinnie:

I look up instantly and see two policemen escorting Jerome.

I run over to them. "What are you doing? Jerome what are they doing?"

"Miss we've got to-" He places his hand on my shoulder and I snatch away.

"Don't touch me! Don't you fucking touch me!" I shout causing everyone to look at us. They back away from us for a moment then I wrap my arms around Jerome and hear him chuckle. "Hey? Hey, you've been good. Reach into my left pocket."

I nod and reach in pulling out a small rectangles box.

"Remember the plan, Quinnie. Follow it."

"But what's going on?" I ask. "They're taking me away."

"No, no, I won't let them. You're mine." I try to hold onto him a little longer and hear his heart beat against my ear.

"I know, buttercup. I know..." He kisses my head and the policemen pulls him away from me. Almost as if they're pulling my heart out.

"No..."

"Hey copper? Wanna see a bloody Lucy?" Jerome then bangs his head against the cops face causing it to bleed and he cackles as he's taken away from me.

I feel a tear about to fall but I hear James Gordon's voice.

"...Jerome needs some serious help." I walk right over to him and just stare at him until he looks my way.

"Quin-"

"You have no clue what you just did Jimmy-oh." I want to scratch his eyes out, but strangely I'm very calm.

"Quinnie I know you're upset but-"

"I'm not upset, I'm very very irate. But I have other things to take care of. People to see, time to kill. You know, the high life. But I want you to know a little secret..."

I lean over his desk just so he can hear.

"I'm going to make your life as miserable as possible, and everyone else you're connected to. Starting with her..." I look over at the lady that I saw last time with him and he glares at me.

"What's wrong, Jimmy-oh? Scared that I'll take away your happiness like you took mine?"

"You do know you're threatening a detective, Quinnie." I shrug and back up.

"See you soon, Jimmy-oh." I walk away with my head high and my shoulders back.

Don't let them see you cry...

***

When I walk into my apartment I toss my keys down and my knees give out under me.

I lay there on the floor feeling like my chest was bleeding out all over the place.

I had that feeling, and it came true. He promised that no one would take him away from me and that promise was broken.

I get ready to rip up the napkin out of anger but the box falls out of it. I sniffle a bit and sit up as I look at the box.

From across the room I see Mousy and I motion for her to come to me. "Come here princess." She turns the other way and walks towards my room.

"Fine..." I pout and look back at the box. Looking at it makes me bitter and curious.

I shake it and it sounds like a little thumping around in it. I open the box and inside was a pinky with a ring on it.

I pick it up and a smile breaks across my face because I knew who the pinky and the ring belonged to.

Jerome smelled like donuts this morning.

He had told me not to worry about the man with the shines red shoes.

I look in the box again and see a small piece of paper that's said:

No more worries, be happy :) - your puddin

I yank the pinky ring off of the dead mans finger and place it on my middle finger. It was a tad big but I could fix that.

"Oh baby, I'll follow the plan but first things first..."

I take the pinky and toss it in the garbage disposal then flip the switch.

A song comes to mind and I just sing it out loud as the disposal keeps going...

"You are my sunshine my only sunshine...you make me happy when skies are gray...you never know dear...how much I love you...please don't take my sunshine away...."

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