“It’s getting hot in here!” I complained a while later. The crush of so many people all in one place was kind of suffocating. Funny, no one else seemed to think so but me. I got up from Chris’ lap and held my hand out to him. We were all still in the living room.
“So take off all your clothes!” He sang, wiggling his eyebrows at me while he did a little shimmy on the sofa. I gave him the ‘really’ look and barely suppressed the urge to smack the normal back into him. Guys are so…ugh!
Who really knows what’s wrong with them?
He got up with a sigh, took my hand and led me outside to the back of the house. The fresh air hit me like a soothing balm, my lungs finally breathing in something other than booze breath and stale air.
There was nobody there, just us but that was just fine with me. The loud music from the inside made it impossible for me to hear him but now at least we didn’t have to yell into each other’s ears.
“Is it cooler here, babe?” he asked facing me.
Chris is a good-looking boy and he knows it. He has those beautiful deep blue-green eyes that look like the ocean and he has those nice lips that could form such a sexy smile. He’s tall and quite muscular with a melted caramel complexion, just the perfect addition.
“Yeah, much cooler, thanks.” I said with a dreamy sigh. He stared at me, a smirk appearing on his face. “What?”
“It’s the face you make whenever I look at you. You look so darn cute.” He was amused but then, he always was when it came to me. He said I was much too serious sometimes and needed to lighten up a bit.
I didn’t really see what was so funny about that.
I pushed him away from me when he started wiggling his brows and flexing his muscles. “Oh shut up.” I pouted. “And stop doing that.”
He stepped back and away from me. “Oh? So you’re me pushing away now baby?” he asked, his face a mask of hurt. “Fine, I think imma be leaving then since I am obviously annoying you. Maybe some other chick will appreciate my level of funny and actually laugh at my jokes.” He kicked up dirt with how fast he whirled and started to walk back inside.
What? But…that’s not even what I meant! He misunderstood. Why was he acting like this all of a sudden? I started to panic and take in huffs of air that only seemed to choke me.
“No, wait!” I called out as I started running after him. “Chris. Stop, please! That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry!”
He stopped walking and turned around to face me, his shoulders shaking with the laughter he was trying to contain. Huh? “Gotcha!” he said loudly and then bent over in gales of laughter.
I smacked him in the arm hard. “You jerk!” I fumed flailing my arms. “That was so not funny.”
“Ow! I was just kidding babe. Sheesh! I was just going to go in there to get us something to drink and talk to Robert a bit but now I’m thinking I need to go to the hospital instead. You know, cuz you broke my arm. Hehehe.”
I raised my brow and tried to suppress the laugh that wanted to come out. He was such a clown.
He sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’ll make you laugh yet, babe.” He said with a wink. “I’ll be back fast okay?” I smiled and nodded and with that, he walked back in.
I turned my face up to the sky and breathed in the crisp air while absently listening to the music booming from the house. I’m so glad I got to come over here tonight.
“Sup shawty? What’chu doing?” came the slurred voice. I turned and nearly squeaked when I saw the creepy red cup guy from inside leaning on one of the windows barely a foot away staring at me. You could tell he was drunk by his breath which the wind just so happened to carry my way. Ew!
He smelled like alcohol and puke. He was a handsome guy, but a creepy smelly one.
“Your breath stinks, sir. Stay away from me, please.” I started walking away when he suddenly grabbed my arm in a vise-like grip. I struggled in his grasp and demanded he let go but his hold only got firmer.
That’s when fear set in.
He was a tall boy with vanilla skin, really good-looking and impressively muscular. I think not even Chris can hold a candle to this boy in that department. And he was also very strong. He was holding onto my arm tight. It was starting to hurt.
I struggled within myself to remain calm. I had heard that staying calm was best in these instances so that the other person wouldn’t get riled up. I didn’t want him riled up. He looked like he could seriously hurt me.
Oh Chris, where are you when I need you?
“I ain’t going nowhere, beautiful.” He said with a lopsided smirk. “You’re coming with me.” I had no idea what he was talking about but when he started dragging me with him, self-preservation kicked in.
Dragging in a lung full of air I screamed for all I was worth, my feet planting firmly to the ground to stop his onward progress, fighting and trying to get away from his grip but he was far too strong.
He kept dragging me as if I was just a bag full of feathers out to the dark woods and stopped near a bush.
He released my arm and looked at me, his light blue eyes seeing right through me.
“Do you know why you’re here?” he asked. His stance was rigid and downright hostile. He was furious. He made to grab me again and I screamed out of reflex. His eyes blazed and he slapped me down to the ground.
“Shut up! Why scream when you know that nobody can hear you?” he asked, his breath fanning my face. Then his eyes grew dark, the color nearly black, drowning out the sea of blue.
“You’re so beautiful.” He said on a sigh. “I want you, your body…I just-.” Suddenly, he started ripping my clothes off much to my continued horror but I didn’t scream and I didn’t fight him off. I didn’t dare after the slap he gave me…there was no use. I was weak, helpless…
I just laid there nearly naked to his gaze with silent tears coursing down the sides of my face, waiting for him to begin his abuse of me.
I felt dirty, unworthy, trashy. I should have listened to my mom and stayed home. If I had, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I wouldn’t be…oh god, please don’t let him hurt me.
I cringed and turned away when I saw him taking off his own clothes and within seconds, he was on top of me, his legs on either side of my semi-naked body. His face drew close to mine and he was looking at me right in the eyes, his stare so deep like he was trying to tell me something through them.
Fear was written all over my face. I know it was but I was glad for it because it seemed to be calming him. I didn’t know whether to take this moment of distraction to push him off me and run for my life or just lay there under him and stare at his beautiful face. I decided to stare.
“You’re a really beautiful girl” he said softly. His warm breath fanned my lips and something in me recoiled and rebelled at the thought that he might kiss me. I trembled and let out a small whimper.
That’s when something in him snapped.
He got up suddenly and started fumbling to pull his pants back on. “Oh God, what am I doing?” he asked himself with a smack to his own head. He quickly slid his arms in his shirt and turned to face me. I was still lying on the ground watching him like an idiot when I could have just started running.
“I’m so…I just...” he ran a hand through his hair and then thumped his head again. “I’m so sorry. I can’t…it’s just…I don’t know what came over me. I-I swear it!”
More tears fell down my cheeks but this time, in a flood of stark relief.
“I’m…I was drunk okay? But it looks like the cold wind sobered me up. See? I mean you no harm now.” he chuckled, sadness and regret showing through his eyes.
“I’m a little high too…and, um, what I’m trying to say is, I know there is no excuse that can fix what I’ve done to you, to your beautiful face. I’ll forever beat myself up about this. I’m so…I hope you never have to run into me again…I…I’m so damn sorry.”
And with that he was gone, leaving me here lost in the bushes with nothing else on but my panties and bra. He just left. How dare he? The least he could do was help me go back to Robert’s house. Ugh!
I laid on the cold hard ground after he left, my body still frozen and unmoving but I felt elation in its truest form. I was still a virgin. I was still pure. I was still allowed to wear my purity ring.
I had gone to that party in fear of losing my reputation but I almost lost something else instead, something more important, something I’ve been cherishing for my sixteen years of existence. My purity…
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, my body still shaky, my mind in residual turmoil. All I needed was a moment to calm my frayed nerves. A moment to collect my bearings before I went back to the party to find Chris. All I needed was to close my eyes and…and…
Blackness...
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