Mr. & Mrs. Crazy Pants •A Jer...

By Superjusticeleaguer

22.4K 663 130

Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.... •He was deranged and twisted...• •She was a killer and loved a... More

One: Waffles & A Murder
Two: Murderous Bonding
Three: Home Run..
Five: Every Girl Loves Neck Biting...Right?
Six: Please Don't Take My Sunshine...Away...
Seven: I'm A Menace To Society...And I Love It
Eight: Are You Deranged Like Me?
Nine: What Are We, Some Kind Of Suicide Squad?
Ten: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Eleven: His Last Laugh?!?
Twelve: Friends? Foe? Who Knows?
Thirteen: The Whole Worlds Laughing
A/N GOOD NEWS KIDDIES!!!

Four: One Of The Good Guys

1.8K 59 11
By Superjusticeleaguer

Jerome:

It was a little past five in the afternoon and the show was going to start very soon. Quinnie said she wanted to see the lions but she had to go back and make sure her friend was okay.

I was looking after Sheba and had this urge to let the snake loose and make the customers all freak out.

Funny innit?

"Jerome?" I turn and see Darla smiling at me. "Yes?"

"You said you would show me your snake. You know, Sheba?" She gives a nervous laugh and I stand up. "That's right. I said I would. Come here." I motion her over to Sheba and she looks over.

"She's beautiful." She comments. "Yeah, she's something." I reach in and hear Darla back up. "What are you doing?"

"You wanted to see her so why not take her out of this old glass box and meet her?"

"No, that's alright. She can stay in her glass box."

"Are you scared of Sheba? I assure you she's harml-ahh!"

"Omigod!" Darla screams and I laugh. "Just joking. See?" I show her my hand and she pouts. "That wasn't very funny Jerome."

"Well I know Quinnie would get a hoot out of that."

"Well I'm not your little girlfriend, Jerome. Besides no offense but I don't think she's fully there in the head."

"Take that back." She back up and I grab her by the wrist. "I said, take that back."

"Fine!" She snatched away from me and walks off. I stare at her as she walks away and look back at Sheba.

"Don't worry, Quinnie will take care of her. I'm sure of it..."

Quinnie:

"Cherry, you have to promise not to embarrass me in front of him."

"I won't, but your my best friend so you know I'm going to grill him." We walk arm in arm right in front of the big tent where we meet Jerome.

"Jerome, this is Cherry. Cherry, this is Jerome." He gives her a nod and looks at me for a minute longer.

"Well ladies, let's go enjoy the show." He leads us into the tent and I notice the crowd isn't as big as it was the night Cherry and I first came.

"Wow, the crowd looks a little light tonight." Cherry voices. "Yeah, I expect that to happen when the G.C.P.D. goes around doing murder investigations."

Cherry gives Jerome a bewildering look and I cuddle up close to him. "Tonight's gonna be special, girls just you see."

"Whys that?" I ask. "You'll see buttercup." I say no more and continue to watch the rest of the show.

***

"Did you see the lions Cherr? I swear I thought they were gonna eat the ringmasters head clean off. Wouldn't that been funny?"

"No, that would be terrible." She walks ahead a bit and Jerome kisses my cheek. "That would have been funny. Now the show is going to be here for about another week and I don't really feel like staying here. Mind if I crash at your place?" My eyes light up. "Sure, I can give you a grand tour. Let me just tell Che-"

"Don't tell anyone I'm staying the night. Keep that between us, huh?" He looks into my eyes and I nod.

"Atta girl. Now before we go, remember Darla?"

I fail trying to keep the digested look off of my face.

"Yeah, your little friend? What about her?"

"Well I had a little chat with her earlier and she told me that you weren't all there in the head."

"Did she now? And where is she?"

"Oh last I heard she was helping with the lions." I let Jerome go and run over to Cherry.

"Hey, I forgot my bag in the big tent."

"Oh do you want me to come with you?" I shake my head. "No, I'll be fine. See you tomorrow." We hug and I take off running off.

I wait a good six minutes as I see Darla was throwing a few raw steaks in with the lions.

As she was going to grab another steak I step out of the shadows.

"Hello."

"Ah! Quinnie, you scared me." She says as I see her catch her breath. "I do that a lot. Scare people. Sometimes I scare them to death. So what yah doin?"

I ask as I look at the three large lions.

"Just feeding them. You know."

I nod and crouch down, motioning for one of the lions to come to me.

"Quinnie! You shouldn't do that." She keeps her distance and one of the lions comes right up to me so I can pet him.

"You're not so dangerous like they say, huh big guy? You're a gentle giant...or maybe you're just not fully there in the head to be a killer."

I glance back at Darla and she was red from embarrassment. "Quinnie I-"

"You know, back in the day. Woman couldn't become lion tamers. All because a lion could smell when a woman was menstruating. It made them crazy. Smelling that blood, and their animal instincts just kicked in you know." I lean closer into the cage and kiss the lion on its nose and it growls.

"Don't worry baby..." I whisper at it. I turn around and cock my head. "Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?" She asks. I get up and start sniffing until I sniff her. She jerks away from me and I gasp.

"You're bleeding!" I point at her.

"No I'm not."

"Sorry." I grab her arm and dig my nails in deep breaking skin as she yanks away from me.

"You crazy bitch!" She tries to run but I grab the shovel that they use to dig up dirt and I smack her right in the back of the head.

"I'm truly sorry, Darla. I thought that you and I could be friends. But you just just had to say rude things about me to my boyfriend. Such a pity though. Oh well, water under the bridge." She groans as I drag her close to the lions cage.

The lions seem to stare at us as I unlatch the cage.

"N...o."

I grab her by the hair and bring my lips to her ear. "No as in no way I get to be eaten by lions? Funny innit?" I throw her in and close the latch back.

The lions circle her and Darla sits up as she tries to get the situation she in.

Suddenly A and B connects and she slowly get up. "Quinnie, open the cage."

"Hmmm, nah. This looks interesting."

"Quinnie!" One of the lions growl and she stiffens.

"Please..." She whimpers. "I think Jerome's callin me. Ta-ta now."

I wave and she runs to the bars of the cage then screams. When I look back I see one of the lions biting her arm while another goes for her throat.

"I don't get Cherry. Watching someone getting their head nearly chewed off by a pack of lions is funny as hell." I laugh as slip into the shadows...

**••**

We walk through my front door to my apartment and Jerome sets his suitcases down.

We both take off our shoes at the food and he whistles as he looks at my living room. "Well, you seem to have a nice place here." I blush as I lock the door behind us. "Thank you...can I get you anything? Water? Milk? A burrito?"

He looks at me laughing as he shakes his head. "Do I make you nervous buttercup?" He asks this as he leans against my wall.

"N--no. It's just I never had a man over here before. Only Cherry.." I swallow hard as he leans off of the wall and swaggers over to me.

"Well, don't I feel special?" He tugs the ribbon out of my hair and let's it fall to the floor.

"You're so pretty." He says as he leans in. I bite his bottom lip and tug at it playfully then release it moving out of his reach.

"Let me show you around." I walk down the hall knowing he's planning something slick.

"Here is my kitchen. In the morning I'll make you something good. Do you like eggs?"

He nods giving me that look and I continue.

"That's my bathroom. Where all the squeaky clean magic happens. That's Mr. Squeakers, careful he defends the bubble kingdom."

"I'll be careful." I then lead him to my bed room and look down at my shoes. "This is my bed room."

I glance up and watch as he looks around my fairly empty room.

"This room, gots some character. I really like this." I walk over next to him and we see a portrait of a woman, baby and a man.

"That's the picture of the druggie whore, me, when I was a baby and my father. He's dapper right?"

"Right indeed. Sir, I hope you know I will take care of your sweet girl for as long as I'm alive." He speaks to the portrait and my heart flutters.

"He was a war veteran. You know. Died in combat. My purple ribbon? That's what they sent back with my dads things." Jerome leans his head against mine. "How patriotic of you."

"Well, I don't know about you but I need to go clean up. I have Darla's funk on me."

"How did that go down by the way?" I shrug. "She was just in for feeding time so that's good." I offer my hand to him and he takes it.

We walk to the bathroom and I run the bath. I turn to him and he taking off his shirt.

"Okay reader, I'm breaking the fourth God damn wall here but I've never actually been fully naked in front of Jerome, got some things going on with my body an-"

"Who are you talking to?"

"Nobody!" I squeak. I let out a deep breath and pull my shirt off then my bra. I then wiggle out of my jeans, standing there completely naked.

I cover my breasts and turn.

He was fully naked too and I couldn't stop staring.

He was more on the lean side but had some muscle, due to helping out at the circus for all those years.

He leans over and turns off the faucet then offers his hand to me. "Shall we?" I hesitate but take his hand while using my other hand to cover my breasts.

He gets in first and so do I.

I sit down in front so that my back was to his front. He takes my body wash from the side of the tub and squirts some in his hand.

"How come you're not asking me?"

"Asking what?" I sigh and turn to him a little. "Why I haven't moved my hand?"

"Why haven't you moved your hand?"

I remove them and look him in the eye. "Do you want me to clean those for you?" He looks down and I see a look of conflict in his eyes.

"I was five...my mother's boyfriend came home drunk as usual and me? I wanted a cookie. So I left my room to get one and that dickwad grabs me by the arm. He says, Quinnie! Why haven't you emptied my ash tray? What the fuck am I going to use now? He then gets this funny idea to use me as an ashtray. That sick asshole had smoked six cigarettes and put each of them out on my chest. I screamed for her to help me. Begged even and all I remember her doing was just ignoring my cries for help." Jerome places a hand on my face and nods.

"Don't be ashamed of your scars, they make you who you are. And I think you're fucking perfect." My heart swelled and he kisses each old burn.

I lean my head back and hear him kiss more of them. "Can't forget these..." He leans up and sucks my nipples making me moan.

He pulls me closer so that I'm on his lap and I lean my head back as he flicks his tongue over and over again.

I feel him bite down and tug and I groan clawing at his shoulders. He lets me go and I look down into those pretty eyes.

"You and I? We're good together, Jerome..." He nods and I lean down kissing his neck.

"I think you...should sit back down, Quinnie...I'm not ah-done." I had nipped him a little. "Fine..." I turn back around and he gets more of my body wash into his hands.

I feel him kiss my shoulder and I watch his hand disappear under the water and bubbles.

"Tell me what we're going to do tomorrow, Quinnie." I feel his slender fingers rub my clit and I gasp.

"Quinnie? I'm waiting." He teases knowing I can't focus fully while he plays with me. He slowly down and I try to speak.

"W..well...g...go...to--oh god." I lean my back against him and I hear him chuckle against my ear. "You know, we can stay home. Have some fun. Fuck each other senseless. How's that sound?"

I grind against his fingers, which makes some of the water and bubbles slop over the tub.

I feel that I'm about to climax sensation and he rubs my sensitive lips causing my hips to buck as I grip his thighs and arch my back.

"Mmm, I think you're squeaky clean. What you think?" He asks as I come down off of my high.

"I think you're right." He gets up and I get up along with him. He helps me out of the tub and I let the water out.

He picks me up bridal style making me laugh. "I don't think Mr. Squeakers would approve seeing another act of formication."

"Me either. Sorry Mr. Squeakers!" I call out as we leave the bathroom. He sets me down on the bed. I reach for him but he backs up.

"On your hands and knees, buttercup." I do as I'm told and he grabs me and spins me around so I'm facing the head bored.

"Weeeee!"

He moves my legs further apart and I feel the head rub against my slit. I jerk a bit and he tsks.

"Quinnie, Quinnie, Quinnie, are you trying to say you don't want this?" He pushes in and my eyes roll back. "Oh, I want it, Jerome. Please..."

He grabs my hair and yanks me back. "Are you sure?" I nod and he pushes me back down and grabs my hips.

"You asked for this." He rams deep inside of me and I bite my pillow.

In the mirror of my headboard I see the portrait and my eyes meet my mothers.

See mother?

I got one of the good ones...

And he actually cares, mother...

He cares more than you ever did...

***

I woke up with my inner thighs feeling sore. But in a good way. I stretch and feel around my bed. I start to panic because he's not laying beside me.

I sit up and the portrait in a way mocks me, almost saying, you got one of the good ones huh?

I flip the portrait off and gather the sheets around me and walk into the hallway.

"Jerome?" I call out. I hear a thump coming from the kitchen and I walk towards it.

The panic leaves my chest as I see Jerome at the stove making me breakfast.

I sit at the table just watching him and when he turns he pauses. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I just woke up and saw you weren't in bed. But now I see why. It smells good in here."

"All for the lovely lady in my life." He hands me a plate and sits down across from me.

"I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will." We dig in and I smile.
"This is delicious, call the chefs! I decree that they ain't got nothing on your skills in the kitchen, Puddin."

"Thanks, buttercup." As we sit and eat I finally feel something ticking in my head.

This is normal, all my life I've dealt with either getting beat on, or having to break a few necks but this is the norm.

Anyone else would say that I'm crazy, and they'd get their eyes scooped out with a tea spoon, because I've only knows Jerome for a short amount of time but I think what Jerome and I have is special.

We got a thing going that people will be jealous about.

"Hey, Quinnie. Why is the butcher always happy?"

I shrug. "I don't know, why is the butcher always happy?"

"Because he beats his meat." Jerome picks up his sausage link and jerks it off causing us both to cry out with laughter.

Yeah, Mom.

I got one of the good ones...

•••

A/N

Hey guys I'm so happy that you all like the book, yes I made the cover and yes the trailer is finished for this book, it's actually dark and twisted and I know you all will looooove it! Also as you can see many of the joker and Harley Quinn personalities are in Jerome and Quinnie. Plus I won't lie the sex scenes?!? Those two bang like rabbits aha. So next chapter will consist of them stroking around Gotham, also Quinnie gets a little more than she can chew ;) comment and don't forget to vote! Oh! And if you want to see the trailer it will be posted later this week in chapter one and on my profile bye bye now 😈

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