WOOHOO CHAPTER 5! Please read the author's note at the end as well.
So I checked my food today. No arsenic in it. Maybe I'm just slowly going crazy. Or the school food's getting to me...That's totally plausible.
Wait what if that was an announcement. "Here at Hellhole High, our hotdogs bounce!". Well my school isn't actually named Hellhole High. It's actually some fancy name that nobody remembers. But I do enjoy the name Hellhole High. It has some nice alliteration to it.
Yeah...school food is definitely getting to me. Ah the musings of my brain in the morning. Andddddd look at the time! I should really be getting into my car...righto. Also ease off on the coffee.
At school
"Hey Hailey!"
Well, that killed my good mood pretty much instantaneously. WHY IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY IS CYRUS LEANING ON MY LOCKER.
"Hello? Anybody in there? Ohhhh wait, you have headphones on." Damn him to all the pits of hell. He took them off of me. Damn him.
"Much better. Now I'm not talking to a zombie. Well I'm assuming that you aren't a zombie because I'm pretty sure I saw you consume some of that mush which the school calls food yesterday and I'm like 99% sure it isn't brains because then wouldn't we all be zombies but then if you think about it school basically turns us all into zombies," he rambles.
Wait. Back up. Why in HELL was he watching me. Because stalker rule number one. You don't TELL people you're stalking them. That just takes all of the fun out of it. Also..I'm sure zombies aren't supposed to be good looking. SNAP OUT OF IT HAILEY. I think it's my hormones.
"...so sound good?"
Oh crap. While I was trying to sort out my rambling thoughts in my head, Cyrus was speaking to me. Strange in of itself.
"Sorry what? I missed it," I said.
"I've been working on a music project. I was asking do you want to collaborate with me on it? No, don't worry, you don't have to sing. I prefer to avoid that...for both my sanity and all surrounding dogs', " said Cyrus. Well hey, what do you know. Mr I Can Make the Straight Guys Stare can't sing (well at least I think they're straight. There was Josh...) . And wants to work with me. Maybe that whole sickness/arsenic poisoning is going around.
Still clearly under the influence of said school food I reply, "Yeah sure. But if you ever take my headphones off I WILL make it so you can't have children. Understand?"
"Deal. Wait...what if I got a 9 foot pole. And body armor?"
"Nope."
"Chocolate?"
"Are you...mentally...all there Cyrus? Of course." I pause. "JUST KIDDING."
For some reason, a grin lights up his face. Do I even want to know...I don't think so.
"So, we should make a deal. If I back out of this, then you get to have me do whatever. If you back out of this, then I get to make you do whatever. Except take off your headphones. I understand. Just no more prods at my mental sanity. Because who knows. Maybe you won't get the answer you're expecting," he says, with a smirk on his face.
Should, for my sanity, I be doing this? No. Do I, for some strange reason, want to? Yes. Probably the school food. Also, why does he look so damn attractive smirking? And there was atrocious grammar in there. FOCUS HAILEY.
"Sure. So...my terms...well..the obvious no taking off my headphones (oh well there was some sort of innuendo there...), and um...if you back out..you have to...SING. In front of the whole cafeteria." Haha. That should make him stay in the deal. Wait. Wait wait wait. Didn't I NOT want him to bother me ever again like 5 minutes ago?
"Deal," he says.
"Wait I want to—"
"Sucks," he says. "You listed your terms, and I accepted them. Now, my terms...if you back out, you have to tell me why you want me to go away so badly. Don't worry, I won't make you run naked around the halls screaming spinach."
"Ohhkayyy?"
"What?" he asks.
"Run naked around the halls screaming spinach? You have one twisted mind."
"Yup."
And...the bell rings. THE DAMN BOY HADN'T MOVED FROM MY LOCKER. Oh well. I think I have 2 minutes to get to class...
I turn around to get to my first period class, Science, with Ms. Planter, (the irony is not lost on me, be sure), and see only about half the school goggling at me. Or maybe it was the Adonis leaning against the locker, talking to me. That was probably it. I have a strange feeling this day is going to be...interesting. (Sense the blatant sarcasm).
"Oh and Hailey?" asks Cyrus.
"Yeah?"
"This locker is comfy."
And with that remark, Cyrus walked away into the throng of people. If looks could kill, I think I would be about in the center of the earth right now. Note to self: make sure nothing unsavory gets in my locker. Such as snakes. Also, invest in a lock.
Later that day
This damn music won't mix. Ok but really Hailey, was it a smart idea to attempt to mix Breaking Benjamin and The Piano Guys? Shut up brain. That was a rhetorical question. The obvious answer would be no. But I did it anyway. And thank goodness there are no textbooks in the room, because I REALLY want to hurl one at something.
"Hello the undead one!"
What kind of greeting is that? I don't really need to ask who it is, I only know one person that well...talks to me.
"Hello Mr If You Take My Headphones Off I Will Castrate You," I shout somewhere over my right shoulder, trying to keep my attention on the measures of GarageBand.
"You know, that's not a very nice way to greet somebody."
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. WHAT is the deal with this boy and his leaning on surfaces that I seem to be working on? Maybe I should just shove him...Wait no that wouldn't work. He's pretty built.
Hold up again. (Really. How many times will I have to do this to get my brain in order.) WHY am I thinking about that? Note to self: make a further foray into the realm of arsenic poisoning and/or signs of insanity.
"Fine. Hello. Better?"
"No, actually. I was kidding. I like the title. Except what it entails..I like my balls, thank you very much." Oh lord, there were so many innuendos in that sentence. I wonder if he..
He smirked. Yup. He got it.
"So what do you want. Evidently your balls. But I'm ASSUMING, now keep in mind that I'm assuming, that you want something else. What is it?"
"Are you gonna back out of our deal so quickly? I thought you wouldn't be into running around the halls naked yelling spinach, but hey..whatever floats your boat."
Oh yeah...the music project. I almost forgot about that, with all the death glares directed at me today. I'm surprised I'm not 6 feet under though.
"So um..how do you want to go about this?"
"Well there's a bunch of positions, but I suppose we can start with the easiest."
"Not sex you sex driven maniac. Although I suppose you are a teenage boy, so that description is superlative. I meant the music project. If you're anything like me (which I doubt, but hey who knows), this project will eat your school time and expand out into outside of school work."
"Yeah...so since we're working together...."
"My house is out."
"Why?"
"Reasons. Do you want your balls?"
"Ok, ok! Do Wednesdays after school for an hour work for you?"
Let me run through my non-existent social life...
"Yup."
"Cool."
He turns to leave.
"Wait...if you're coming to mine, you need my address don't you. It's 34 Summer Street."
"Thanks! See you Wednesday."
"See you Wednesday." Cyrus almost makes it out the door again before I shoot after him,
"Try and keep the locker leaning to a minimum, won't ya?"
"How about a hell nope. See you tomorrow at your locker!"
Damn boy is going to loose his balls. One of these days.
Well that was an interesting day. And I...talked to a person. And also arranged a study date with that person. Also took my headphones off in the presence of that person. Oh goodness, what have I gotten myself into? And more importantly...what on EARTH is in that school food?
Author's note:
So, as twisted as my mind is *insert evil smirk here*, I actually did not come up with the running around the school halls naked while screaming spinach. I got that (and give full credit to) DarknessandLight, who wrote the side-splittingly hilarious story "I Sold Myself to the Devil for Vinyls...Pitiful I Know". Anyway. No copyright infringement intended.
Also...I MADE IT FARTHER THAN 2 PAGES. On Pages anyway. Hopefully the length should increase from here. Let me know if you have any suggestions, grammar stuff, etc.
More should be coming soon! And please comment and vote and all that jazz!