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Chapter Quote:
"Staring at the wreckage of the life we could have had, I knew it wasn't about love or Shay or the Searchers now."
~Calla Tor
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Chapter 35
Arya
Being at the Academy brought back memories, both pleasant and unpleasant. Not much had been added on to the Academy but it had definitely had been refurnished and modernized. I'd tried to go to the garden but Elsa and Josilyn had been speaking to each other and I hadn't wanted to interrupt. Instead I went to the roof garden. Not many people knew about it. I'd discovered it early on after my family had taken shelter with the Searchers. My parents thought I never left my room but that wasn't true. In fact I left frequently, but only at night when I knew I wouldn't be bothered. The garden was always too busy. It'd only taken a night or two of exploring to find the secret way up there.
By the scents I picked up, Babatunde, Connor, Adne, Ethan, and Sabine were the only ones who knew about the place. But there was another one I was rather surprised to smell: the mysterious Stark alpha. However, since I didn't hear anything on the roof, I assumed he wasn't there. I sat on a rocking bench that overlooked the lilies and a small pond. They'd always been my favorite flower. Ren got them for me for our anniversary every year, a different kind or color each time.
I sat in deep thought, thinking about everything my family had gone through, coming to terms with Anna being back (which I am indescribably thrilled about) and wondering how Elsa was doing as I hadn't talked to her much recently. It seemed she was always keeping to herself or hanging out with Spencer. She hung out more with the Stark pack than she did her own, and it terrified me that I might lose her to them. I wasn't worried that they couldn't take care of her. I saw how protective they all were of her, especially Spencer. I still couldn't decide if I thought him brave or stupid when he stood up to our entire pack to protect her when Noah had bitten her arm. I guess it was a mix of both.
I worried about Hunter. He seemed to be carrying a lot of weight on his shoulders and his breakup with Josilyn hadn't helped. He hadn't confirmed it was a breakup but I could tell more or less what it was. Poor Josilyn was distraught over it as well.
Then there was Ren. He was terrified of losing more pack members and he wasn't the only one. Despite him and Shiloh making up, my second's words had gotten under my husband's skin in a bad way. On more than one occasion Ren had woken up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat from the sheer terror he experienced in his nightmares. I had no idea how to help him. All I could do was stay up with him until he fell asleep.
At that moment, I heard the sound of footsteps lightly treading on the ground. So soft I almost couldn't hear them.
Almost.
"Who's there?" I demanded, standing up. For a few seconds, there was nothing. But then a Guardian appeared, one I recognized only by scent.
"Oh, it's just you," I said, silently relieved it was just the Stark alpha. "Come up here to think too?"
Surprisingly, he nodded his head.
"You wouldn't happen to want to talk would you?" I asked. "You know, human to human? Maybe wolf to wolf?" He shook his head. I sat back down on the bench but my eyes remained on him. "Why do you stay as a wolf around us? You're either an extremely shy alpha, or you're hiding something. I'm pretty sure my latter guess is correct, so what gives? Did you commit treason with your previous pack? Are you on the run from police? Did you kill someone?" He shook his head at everything. With a sigh, I continued, "Are you in the witness protection program? Do you not want someone to find you?"
Surprisingly, the wolf nodded, prompting me to ask my next question because I wanted to know how common it was in Guardian families. "Did you run away from home?"
Stark nodded.
"Bad family life?"
He did a semi-nod, semi-shake of his head, which I interpreted it as, "Sort of?" I was correct. I rested my elbow on the back of the bench and rested my head on my fist. "You know, I had a son who was a run away. His name was Caleb."
At the sound of this, the wolf trotted up to me. Shockingly he jumped up on the bench and sat down, staring at me intently, as if fully planned on listening to my story. I don't know why, but I began spilling out the story. "Caleb was fifteen when he ran away. He'd just finished his freshmen year of high school. A few years before, Hunters broke into our house and killed one of our daughters, Anna. Or so we thought. Anna being downstairs right now is proof they didn't. But at the time, we thought she'd passed away. It devastated our family, and I believe Elsa and Caleb dealt with it the worst of the kids. Elsa because Anna had been her twin and Caleb because he'd witnessed it all. He'd only been twelve when it'd happened and he'd been up against three big Hunters. He stood no chance. Even an adult Guardian would have had trouble defeating that many by their lonesome. But the death caused trouble between Caleb and Hunter and they got into nasty fights. It drove Caleb away. I knew he always felt guilty about Anna's death and I tried to help him as best I could but he never told anyone what he was feeling. He got that from me though. In fact he and Elsa both did. Hunter and Ember are more vocal about their thoughts and feelings. Anna was always in the middle although now I'm not so sure about her. I always thought, and I still to this day, believe I should've done more to help him. I should've... done more to help him get rid of that guilt because it wasn't his fault. He never believed that though, even whenever Elsa told him. After he ran away, he never contacted us... no note saying where he was going, no phone call or email to say where he was, nothing. For the longest time, I thought he was dead. For the longest time, I thought I'd never get to hear my son's voice again or that I'd get to see the man he grew up to be. Then one day, someone left me a note saying to call this number. All it said was call the number, make sure no one's around when you do it. And you know who it was? It was friends of my son. I didn't get to speak to him directly. I guess he wasn't there, and he never called back, which hurts, but I get it. Caleb didn't leave a note behind or contact us for a reason. He didn't want to be found. He still doesn't. But I got to relay a message to him, pretty much what I'm telling you now, and I have to believe that the people I talked to gave that message to him..."
Stark nudged my face with his cold, wet nose. I wiped my hand over the place he'd nudged to find tears streaming down my face. I chuckled in disbelief. "I haven't cried since Caleb left. Sorry for dropping all of that on you. Especially what you've been through. Babatunde didn't go into detail but he told me you and your pack had had your compound blown up and that your parents, or I guess adoptive ones, and a friend were killed. You, Spencer, and Lily were the only survivors. I'm very sorry. I know better than anyone what it's like to lose someone like that. If you or Lily or Spencer ever need anything, you can always come to me. And when I say come to me, I mean come to me. Don't go to Ren. He still doesn't trust any of you."
Stark cocked his head as if asking, "Then why do you?"
"Despite the fact you put Elsa in danger by letting her sneak out at night when Hunters are after us, you're still extremely protective of her and I know you'd never do anything to hurt her intentionally. I owe you for saving her life back when the Hunters took her and Josilyn and Sebastian. Spencer too. Your pack, it's small, but it's strong. To be honest, I get why you stay in wolf form. It makes it harder for the Hunters to determine whether you're a Guardian or an actual wolf, harder to hunt you down. Lily and Spencer don't though so it's just you that's hiding. Pardon me if I sound impertinent in asking this, but I want to know, did you ever contact your family after they left?"
Stark shook his head.
"Do you miss your family? The one you ran away from?"
He nodded.
"Why did you never go back or contact them?" I didn't expect him to answer me but surprisingly, he jumped down and grabbed a stick that had fallen off a tree. Dipping one end of the stick into the pond, he pulled it back out and spelled his answer out.
"Too painful," I read out loud. I felt sorry for the poor alpha but then another question popped into my head. "Too painful for them? Or you?"
He spelled out with his stick, "Both."
Putting the stick down, Stark jumped back up onto the bench next to me and lay down. I hesitated before placing my hand on top of his head. He put his head on my lap, letting out a small whine. I could feel the pain, the sadness radiating off of him. It mimicked my own pain, the pain felt from the loss of family. A feeling I was too familiar with and one I knew I'd be feeling again before this war was over.
"Stark, I know you ran away from your family for a reason, and I believe it was a good one, but speaking from experience, if you were close to anyone in your family, your mother, your father, a sister, a brother, a pack mate, give one of them a call. Let them know you're okay. Let at least one of them know you're alive and well, okay? I'm not your alpha so I know can't make you do anything, but I highly suggest it. Who knows, maybe it won't be as painful as you think," I said.
Stark sat up and jumped down. I sighed, thinking I'd ruined whatever 'bond' we'd created until he started pawing at my phone. Curiously, I took it out of my pocket. He took it into his mouth and disappeared into the brush. I waited impatiently, wanting to know what he was doing with my phone. About ten seconds later, he came trotting back with my phone in his mouth. Stark dropped it into my lap. On my phone screen was a number.
"Who's number is this?" I inquired. Unsurprisingly he didn't answer. All he did was nudge the phone closer to my hand. Giving him a dubious glare, I hit dial and put the phone up to my ear. It rang a few times before going to voicemail.
"Hey, this is Caleb, I'm either not in right now or I can hear my phone ringing and can't find it so call back two or three times just to be sure. If I don't answer after three tries, I'll get back to you." I hung up before the tone beeped for me to leave a message but I called back immediately. It went to voicemail again. I called once more.
No answer.
I called again.
And again.
And again.
I called over ten times not just because I was hoping Caleb would answer, but because I couldn't hear enough of his voice. I never left a message in fear that if he knew it was me, he wouldn't call me back. Maybe if he thought it was an emergency because this number, my number, had called so many times, he'd call back.
Stark sat and stared at me. All I could do was choke out a thank you before I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him.
"Arya, nice to see you," Babatunde greeted. I yanked away from Stark in surprise. I hadn't heard Baba coming up. His eyes landed on Stark. "And Mr. Stark. I'm surprised to see you around the Laroches. As I recall, you don't exactly like being around people besides your pack mates."
Stark let out a low growl causing the Academy leader to chuckle. "No worries Stark, your secret is safe with me. But I did come for the two of you because we have a situation on our hands. Arya, considering your daughter is extremely close to Spencer, this might be hard for her-"
"Is he dead?" I asked immediately.
"No, but a certain someone has appeared. Stark, this will pertain to you. It's Callie Hart. She's back."
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