Shhh... It's just me.
The words still linger to me today. The feel of his arms, the way he held me. How he ran his fingers through my hair, twirling the strands when he reached the bottom. How we sat side by side on an old creek log with my head on his shoulder. The sun was on a verge to say goodnight as the moon rose and slowly began to spread its moonlight.
I still remember the quietness of the water with only the frogs croaking and crickets chirping. His intoxicated smell that had me caught to him making me feel like home. The politeness in his voice when he spoke and the innocent eyes that held so much warmth.
I still remember crying and him being so supportive. Telling me all will be well as long I stay calm.
And I still remember him telling me it's late and me, not wanting to go home and face crisis again. Him driving me to a nearby hotel, like another night we would have when I'd want to be alone. Parking the car we remained seated.
I still remember reaching over, hugging him, and sobbing into his chest. Him rubbing my back. Getting his shirt all wet and salty due to the tears, but he said he didn't care. He said I wasn't worth more than anything, especially not the tears.
I still remember getting out finally and heading to the front desk. Him asking for two rooms as normal. I loved that about him. He wasn't pushy ever and he understood me.
I still remember walking behind him feeling little, shy, and safe, all at the same time. Eyes wondered around us. The hotel that night was very busy. Way busier than normal nights. We reached our floor and stepped out of the elevator.
I still remember him opening the lock to my room and leading me into the room. Standing there observing, he finally turned to me and kissed my forehead, whispering goodnight. Locking the door after he left, I got into bed. Taking off my skinny jeans which were wet because of the creek, I allowed myself to fall asleep.
I still remember during the brisk of midnight when I felt a cold hand creep under my tee.
I still remember my screams being muffled by a large hand covering my mouth.
I still remember trying to gasp for air, but end being crushed upon.
I still remember hotness on my body where his skin touched mine.
I still remember pleading for him to stop, pleading for him to get off.
I still remember my heart fluttering and beating loud due to all the pain.
But most of all I still remember his promise. His promise of never hurting me, causing me any pain.
And I still remember the night he broke his promise. The night he broke me and left.
I still remember his words, which he whispered to me...
Shhh... It's just me.
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