You fluttered your eyes open in the morning for a short while before closing them again, the feeling of Luke's arm draped around your waist, tugging you closer to his body, brought a soft smile on your face.
It only took you a second to realise what was actually happening – Luke in your bed in the morning after a passionate night you'd just spent with him, his arm around you and his soft breathing onto your neck, both of yours son in the next room – and your eyes shot open. You sat up in bed, immediately turning to look at Luke, who only seemed to be waking up just then.
He only opened one eye to look at you, a small smile turning his lip corners up at the memories of last night, as he mumbled a soft 'good morning' before tugging you closer to himself. But you didn't budge, sitting straight and staring at him, your mind running with thoughts of what will happen now.
And only after the warmth of your body didn't come back next to him for a few minutes, did Luke finally open up his eyes to take a better look at you. He sat up, brushing the hair out of your face, "What's wrong, babe?" Luke breathed, his voice low and croaky, his eyes inspecting you, but a soft smile still on his lips.
No matter how much you wanted to look down at his bare chest and his barely covered naked body in front of you, your eyes stayed focused on his, a terrified expression on your face.
Luke didn't turn his eyes away, your silence bringing out all his fears, no matter how hard he tried to push them away. "Why you –" he tried, but cut himself off with a sudden drop of his hand from your face and to his lap, his fears overtaking his thoughts. "You want me to leave?" he whispered, staring right at your expression, his words not sounding like a question, but still in need of your confirmation.
But all you could do that moment was stare back at him, your mouth was frozen shut, but your mind was burning with thought. And yet, you stayed still in bed, while Luke turned his eyes away, getting out from underneath the sheets and picking up his clothes. "But you –" he turned around with a sigh, his jeans already pulled over his legs, "But you said you – you said you wanted me," Luke looked at you, his eyebrows furrowed, hoping for a positive answer.
But you only swallowed at his words, your throat dry and your eyes darting down to look away in thought. Luke only snickered at you, while shaking his head in disappointment, simultaneously picking up the T-shirt off of the ground.
You got out of bed and walked to stand in front of Luke, knitting your eyebrows in worry, "Luke, I don't want you -," you sighed, lifting your eyes up to look at him, while his eyes were running around in search for his socks. "I don't want you to leave," you finished, your eyes following him wherever he went. "Luke," you said a little louder, when his face didn't show any acknowledgement of your words. "Luke, I don't want you to go," your voice was now stern, bringing him to stop in his tracks and look over at you.
"You know, it didn't seem that way a minute ago. You need to decide what the fuck you want, 'cause I'm not here to be one of your casual fucks," he retorted, trying to walk past you and to the hall.
"You're not one of my casual fucks," you were confused as to what he was referring to, but you kept talking anyway, "I invited you yesterday, because that was what I wanted. You were what I wanted," you added in, looking up to his eyes.
"And this morning you suddenly had a change of heart?" he sounded like he was mocking you and it threw you off for a second, but you only blinked at his words a few times before shaking your head no.
"I want you. Still. I want you to stay and I want you to be with me, it's just - " you let out a small breath, turning your gaze away from him.
Luke stared at you blankly for some time, furrowing his eyebrows. "It's just what?"
"I'm scared," you whispered, still unable to lift your eyes to meet his. "I'm scared about us and about you. Luke, we've done this before," finally, you looked up at him, "We've been together before. And you know better than anyone how that turned out. I just – I just don't want to be in the same position again. I don't want to be cheated on anymore and I just don't think I can trust you to not cheat. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust you," your voice was starting to shake, your eyes welled up with tears and your words stabbed Luke straight in the chest. He hated himself for the pain he's caused you over the years and he hated that it was his own fault that you couldn't trust him.
Luke's hands on your cheeks interrupted you from your deep thought, "I won't cheat. I'm sorry I ever did, you didn't deserve the pain I caused you, but I promise, I will not make that mistake again. I promise I'll never betray you again, baby. I promise," he repeated over and over, but your vision didn't get any clearer and you felt a lump form in your throat.
"You've vowed that to me before, Luke. I don't think I can trust your promises," you replied, your voice weak and soft from the pain you've held in for so long.
Luke could feel his lungs tighten, unable to provide any oxygen, as your words echoed in his mind. "Y/N-" he breathed, his thumb tracing across your cheek, "I swear, I'll never cheat, baby, please," he whispered to you, his eyes searching yours for any sort of reaction, "Just give me a second chance and I promise, I won't disappoint," he pleaded, but you only stepped a little away, his hands losing hold of you.
"I gave you a second chance with Theo," you commented back, looking him straight in the eye.
"Then give me one with you, too," his voice quiet and pleading. "I won't ask any more second chances. I promise I will never have to, I'll stay with you forever," he continued, stepping closer to you again, your bodies inches away from touching, "I don't ever want to experience my life without you in it," he said looking at your eyes.
You only sighed in response, "I don't know, Luke."
Luke watched you shake your head, frustratingly run a hand through your hair, as he suddenly grabbed your waist, pulling you in for a kiss. It only lasted a minute before he pulled slightly away, "Tell me you don't want this and I'll leave this second. But I know you love me and I know you want to give this a second try, so please, listen to your heart. We can be a little family, you two can move in with me, Theo will love having a garden and Calum lives like two houses away, so there'll always be a friend for him to hang out with, and we can have barbecue weekends in our garden, and-"
"Okay, okay, don't get too carried away, mister, we still need to tell Theo," your lips had barely began curling into a smile, when Luke pulled you closer again for yet another kiss.
"Let's go have breakfast," Luke whispered, earning a nod from you, and only then did you notice a sleepy Theo in the doorway.
"Oh," you let out in surprise at seeing your son.
"Why were you kissing my mom?" Theo asked, glaring at his father, only earning a chuckle from him.
"Because that's what mommies and daddies do, baby," he said bending down.
"You didn't do that before," the little boy commented back.
"Yes, but only because mommy thought she didn't want us to," Luke winked at his confused son, earning a nudge from you. "Come on, let's go have pancakes or something," he said with a chuckle, picking up his son.
Theo rubbed his eyes, "So, will you and mommy always do that now?" he quizzed and you chuckled at his curiosity, taking the products out.
"Me and mommy will do a lot of things now, baby," he winked again, only to earn yet another kick from you, making Theo giggle along with his father, although the boy merely laughed at the image of you kicking his dad. "I mean, because we're a family now," Luke continued with a laugh, standing Theo up on a table, but still holding him close, "Because we will all live together in a big house with a big garden for you to play in and we'll have pancakes for breakfast every day. Does that sound good to you?"
"Will there be a puppy in that house?" Theo quizzed, remembering a promise you made him a long time ago as an explanation as to why he can't have a pet right now – to buy a puppy once you move to live in a house.
"Sure, baby, we can get a puppy," Luke smiled, earning an excited clap from the boy.
* * *
You invited your closest friends and family to Luke's highly anticipated barbecue on the weekend that week and as happy as everyone seemed, you could clearly tell most of them were worried you two will end up breaking up again, Michael being the first and the main person to express his worry towards your and Luke's relationship directly.
"Michael, please calm down," you tried reaching for him, but he stepped backwards.
"No, Y/N, look. You know he's cheated and you know he can easily do that again, but for some reason you're naïve enough to trust him again. I just – I thought you were smarter than that," he shrugged, looking around the kitchen you two were standing in.
"Michael, you know I love him. And you know I have a son with him, it'd be stupid to not give this a second chance," you tried again, your tone soft and gentle, but Michael still seemed mad.
"No, you just don't see how much shit you'll have to go through again. And you know what, as happy as I am for you both, I am done with helping you get through your relationship. I congratulate you for being brave enough to get back with him and I congratulate you on gluing your family back together, but I refuse to be the one who has to help you whenever he fucks up again. I'm sorry, I just don't think I can do that anymore. But I do wish you all the best," Michael pursed his lips, curling them into a small smile, and, with a soft tap on your shoulder, Michael walked back out to the garden.
Mere seconds later, Luke approached him with the most serious expression he could muster. "Hey, man, can I talk to you?" Luke wondered, earning a single nod from Michael.
"Look, I just want to apologise for coming on to you that time and also to thank you for indirectly helping me get my shit together, you know? Even though you kind of didn't want to, you still somehow did and... yeah, I just hope we're good?" Luke rambled, unable to look at his best friend until he finished his little speech.
Michael sighed, "Of course, man. And I'm sorry for the shit I said, I honestly am really happy for you two. I hope you don't fuck it up this time," he joked, his words making Luke feel guilty for some reason.
"I'll do my best," Luke replied with a soft giggle, "I'm glad we're good, though. I've missed you," Luke said and Michael only gave him a quick eye-roll.
"I'm not your girlfriend, don't mix us up," he joked, giving Luke's shoulders a hard squeeze as in to signal they're completely fine now. "But she seems to be struggling with that ridiculously huge barbecue of yours," he laughed, pushing Luke towards you.
"You know, I changed my mind. I actually hate you," Luke mumbled with a laugh and Michael only flipped him off, before Luke walked up to help you.
"You're struggling," he commented in your ear, putting his beer on the side.
"I am," you giggled, turning to look at him. "And that's exactly why I need a man in the house," you spoke softly, your nose almost touching Luke's cheek, as he was leaning over your shoulder.
"Then it's a good thing you have one now," he turned his head with a smile, placing a soft kiss on your lips.