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Chapter 36 is private!! So make sure you read that one before this one or your gonna be lost!!
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Comment! I absolutely love reading the comments! :)
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Alisha POV
I talked to Shay as she laid on the hospital bed. She HAS to stay alive.... I don't know what I'm gonna do without my big booty biscuit 😪
I got done talking to her before I carefully kissed her swollen cheek and left the hospital that I have grown so familiar with.
I have been trying not to cry but I feel like there has been a hopeless tragedy or something that happened...
But it wasn't hopeless... Shay would've passed away by now.
She's a fighter... Everybody knows that, including her group of surgeons that don't even know her.
And as for Dante.... 😤 I don't even want to think of that mothafucka bec-*breaths out**changes subject*
I got into a HUGE blowout with Ky because I wanted to go back to work to take my mind off of it.
We fought because he said I needed this time to myself so I could get it together and not have a nervous breakdown at work.
I knew he was right but I still wanted to stand my ground so I fought back with him.
It ended up in us just being mad at eachother for a couple hours before we couldn't help but to make up.
... And not with sex. We haven't had sex in a minute actually.
It's not that we didn't want to, we were just focused on Shay and getting ourselves together with the situation at hand because let's be clear... We are all VERY effected.
I haven't cried in a couple days either. I usually would cry myself to sleep all the time on Ky but I have been working overtime so I can stay busy so I don't think about my sister not being alive anymore.... 😔
I remember the night when the surgeons talked to us and after all that happened....
💭 Flashback 💭
After spending hours of crying as I studied Shay's beaten body, I look at Carter holding Shay's hand, ever so gently as he slept with his head next to her hand on the hospital bed.
He cried himself to sleep after we all spent time in her hospital room with Shay.
I realized the situation we were in and looked away from the sad view.
"We have to go. I can't take this scenery anymore" I spoke nervously and shaky as I looked at all of our sad and crying family members.
Noticing my body language, Ky grabbed my hand to calm me down.
I breathed out quietly as I eased up a little from his soft touch.
I was scared that I was gonna slip into a deep depression that I wouldn't be able to get out of.
My eyes were so swollen and red as Ky and I headed to a hotel near the hospital. We spent about a day and a half in the hospital with Shay before it was time to stay somewhere else.
I was done crying.... I had no more tears left inside of my body to let out.
Everything around me seemed like it was happening in slow motion.
Everybody was so destroyed over what happened that I couldn't stand to see both of our families so down and depressed.
THIS was the absolute worst thing that could have happened.
I SHOULD'VE WENT WITH HER!!
😤😭
I felt SO guilty that I didn't go up to Derek's office with her... Ky felt the exact same way.
Everybody keeps telling us "it's not your fault" or "you wouldn't have known it was gonna happen"... But it DID happen.
The ONE time I don't buddy up with Shay... Is the time that she could possibly lose her life 😪
I have never seen Carter SO torn apart before either.
Just seeing him the condition he was in, made me want to cry. Ky was broke down too.
I hated seeing all the people that I love in such a bad space...
My spaced off.... My emotionless thoughts were cut off by Ky.
"She'll be okay" he said in his sad voice as he wrapped his arm around me and placed his hand on my back before slowly moving it up and up. I realized that the lady at the front desk of the hotel was getting our room keys.
I tried not to start crying as he pulled me to him.
He was so comforting...
I had to move away from him or else I was gonna lose it.
Ky put his signature on a couple pieces of paper as I tiredly waited for him.
The lady gave us four keys. Two for his room and two for my room.
We got separate rooms because I expressed that I wanted to be alone and not bothered for awhile.
We got up to the 5th floor with the elevator. His room was one of the first ones in the hall, while mine was all the way at the end.
He softly kissed my cheek and I gave him a weak smile before we got to our rooms.
I got into my room and took a hot shower before I let my thoughts take over.
I put on a grey t-shirt and thick warm, black leggings with my hair in a messy bun.
I stood in the middle of the living room for a second to absorb what was happening.
I looked at the clock to read 5:37 a.m.
I went to my room after turning all the lights off and closing the curtains.
I spaced off as I began to cry deeply.
I was hiccuping and sniffing as I laid in my bed.
How could this happen to her?
I slowly got up and slid out of my big bed and looked at the clock.
Through my bloodshot eyes, I can see 7:54 a.m. on the clock.
I breath out and wipe my swollen eyes as I open the door of my hotel room and slowly head down the hall to Ky's room in my fuzzy socks.
I was about to knock on it as I tried to stop my hiccuping, when it slowly opened.
I tried to let my eyes focus through the light and my tears as I looked up.
He was in sweatpants and a hoodie, his eyes were bright red.
Ky was gonna come to my room for the same reason I was coming to his...
To find comfort and to restore.
It made reality come back to see him so sad so I put my hand over my eyes as I scrunched up my eyebrows.
I HATE crying infront of people.
I felt myself being pulled into his strong chest.
He closed the door before he carefully lifted me up and took me to his room.
He laid me ontop of him and held me tightly and securely.... As if I was his last hope of some sort....
I let myself break in his arms as he soothed me and held me down...
💭 End Of Flashback 💭
I breath out.
I was making phone calls to managers to confirm appointments as I headed back to the hotel.
I went up to our hotel. I slid the key in the door and waited for the light to turn green.
I decided to just stay in his room and close off my hotel room since I was in here all the time anyway.
I heard the door click, signifying it was unlocked so I opened the heavy door.
I closed the door and sat my purse on the counter next to the door.
I slipped my shoes off and took my neat bun out.
I stood there got a second... Absorbing everything in.
I was stepping inside a hotel room that was being rented so we could wait close by for results to see if my sister was gonna make it or not and I was working so hard to keep my mind off of it that I almost forgot what I was here for....
I had to let my heart break before I could build myself back together.
I leaned back against the cold door in my business outfit and hung my head down with my butt, pinning my hands against the metal door.
"Baby where you at?" I heard Ky ask from our master bedroom. He was talking over the TV.
I had salty tears building up in my eyes like a current.
I put my hands over my face.
"Fuck" I mumbled in frustration.
I began to go to the room as I let my heart break and come to terms with what was really going on with my bestfriend.
"Aye bruh, I'll call you back" I heard him say before I heard something being sat on the nightstand.
I slowly walked around the bed to his side.
I continued to cry as I was about to lean towards him when I felt myself being lifted completely off the ground.
I was being placed ontop of him with my face in his strong chest.
I cried in him as he calmed me down and gently rubbed my back... I don't know why but it's easy for me to calm down with him.
After a couple hours of me crying, I knew he didn't know what else to do or say to stop me from continuing to cry... I felt bad that he was clueless on what else he could do.... But their was nothing else he really could do.
I was broken.
He slowly and carefully flipped us over so that he was ontop of me.
I continued to cry as I felt his hands sinking in the bed, supporting his weight on the sides of me.
He began to gently and carefully kiss my ear before he spoke in it.
"Can I fuck the sad out of you?" I heard him softly say.
He and I both knew he didn't literally mean what he said, we had slow emotionally and spiritually comforting sex... He suggested it because it was the only type of affection that he hasn't given me yet and he wanted to see if it would emotionally make me feel better because it connected me to him on another level, and it seemed like nothing could make me stop crying.
Our minds connected and made us close when we did that.... Might possibly be why we did it so much.
I softy nodded my head while I continued to weep.
I let tears run all over my face as I felt slow kisses being placed softly down my neck, chest and stomach....
Ky POV
I have been sad as FUCK about my sis, so after getting the news that Shay's health wasn't declining and the hearing test results, I forced Alisha to come with me to chill with some of her friends.... We needed to celebrate.
Carter was still at the hospital.
I didn't even want to be around people... Especially with this bigass secret that I was carrying around now.
I don't Carter even knows.... and that nigga practically my twin 💯.
I stressfully breath out as I drove to Zechariah's apartment to meet up with everybody.
"What's wrong?" I heard Alisha say as she placed her hand gently on my thigh.
I relaxed and loosened my death grip on the steering wheel after I realized that I was visually tensed up.
"Nothin" I said as I continued to drive.
She kept her hand on my thigh to make me stay calm as she looked out the window.
I hope nobody notices my secret because I can't lie for SHIT. I'm too honest and real to ever be lying 💯.
I pull up to the apartment complex and get out.
I am SO fucked up right now... I absolutely HATE feeling.... 'This'?
Alisha POV
I walked into Zechariah's apartment as Ky held my hand.
We greeted everybody, got a drink and sat down.
I sat next to Zechariah as Ky sat about 10 feet across from me with some of my college friends next to him.
"TRUTH OR DARE!!" I heard Zechariah yell.
I shook my head and took a sip of my drink.
We were just chillin and vibing.... Nothing serious.
"I'm first!" My college boo Taylor said.
I laughed and leaned back to watch and listen to this hilarious evening....
*Later*
Zechariah turned towards me. "Truth or dare" he said grinning.
"Truth" I said smiling and setting my drink on the coffee table.
"Would you ever be in a REAL relationship with this nigga?" he said motioning Ky.
"Ohhhh" they all exaggerated.
Ky was sitting across from me with his elbows on his knees... Looking sexy as fuck as usual.
I sat back in my spot with my arms ontop of the rim of the couch as I looked in his eyes.
He was waiting for the answer too.
"No" I said lowly as I continued to look in his eyes.
I was curious to see his reaction.
I could see him clench his jaw tightly as everybody made comments and giggled a little in shock.
They went on with the game as he continued to stare at me.
I was about to speak when he got up and began quickly saying bye to everybody.
I twisted my face up.
He began storming out of the apartment when I got up and quickly made my way after him.
I heard a lot of "Ohhhh" and "damnn" and "she's gonna get spanked tonight honey" as I practically ran out of the apartment to catch up to him.
I hit the corner to see Ky at the bottom of the steps and quickly going to his car.
I sped down the stairs and towards him.
His car was facing my direction.
He was about to open the door to his car and get in when I pushed him roughly.
Making him go backwards a couple steps as I bumped into the door, shutting it.
"Fuck is wrong witchu!?" I yelled to him mad and breathing hard.
I seen a glimpse of sinister anger before it quickly went away.
He began to come towards me fast.... He knows I'm crazy as fuck so I knew he wasn't gonna do nothing out of line.
I was about to talk some more shit as he got closer and closer when he shoved me harshly against the tall SUV that was next to his car.
My head lightly smacked the glass and he held his hand on my chest.
I'm surprised the alarm didn't go off.
I bit my lip for a second... He knows I like it rough and get turned on easily when he does rough shit to me.
He slowly slid his hand down my left breast and slowly down my stomach as he leaned in to my lips.... Ever so slowly.
He let his bottom lip playfully touch my bottom lip.
I wanted to kiss him 😩.
When I tried to lean up and suck on his bottom lip, he moved his head back teasing me.
I let out a breath of frustration before I looked in his eyes.
He was already looking deep in mine.
He than began to slowly lean forward as we held the deep, connected eye contact.
He than kissed me with his plump, soft lips... Slowly.
The feeling and amount of emotion that transferred from his lips to mine was.... Breathtaking and real.
As mad and irritated as I was at him... I couldn't help but to kiss him back.
He let my bottom lip stay inbetween his plump lips before he pulled away and stepped back from my body.
"What the fuck was that?!" I yelled, mentioning Zechariah's apartment.
He stepped back for a minute with his hands in his pockets as it looked like he didn't know whether or not he wanted to answer what I was asking.
"I love you" he said looking at me. I could almost visibly see the weight rise off of his shoulder.
I smacked my lips. "I love y-" I began to say it back before he cut me off.
"No..." He stopped me as he shook his head for a second. "I'm IN love with you" he said looking in my eyes.
I would've laughed a little but I realized that he was dead serious.
"What?" I whispered shocked and confused.
He propped his hands up on his sides.
"If what happened to Shay, happened to you....." He started to shake his head as he looked at the ground and zoned out for a second. "And that's when I realized it" he added as he looked up at me.
"I salute to Carter because I would've went crazy. I mean I would've absolutely ... Lost... My ... Fucking.... Mind" he said seriously looking in my eyes.
For some reason I couldn't believe it.
"How do you know?" I asked, making sure he was just trippin and playing around or something.
He breathed out for a second as he looked at the ground before looking up at me again.
It clearly didn't take much thinking for him to respond.... He was serious.
"Because I know that your happiness means more to me than my own" he said genuinely as he looked in my eyes again.
"And I don't dream about talking shit to eachother when we're 57 years old with anyone else" he raised his eyebrows a little and held his head as he leaned to both sides while looking at me.
I could easily tell that this was a big thing for him to say.
Tears began to build up in the rim of my eyes as I folded my lips in for a second.
I spoke after a couple seconds....
"That wasn't supposed to happen" I whispered gently as my face softened while I scrunched my eyes a little and leaned my head back.
I could tell by his response that what I said rubbed him the wrong way. His facial expression and body language showed it all before he went back to himself.
He leaned forward before he softly placed four fingers on the side and back of Ky neck before he placed his thumb behind my ear, against the back of my jaw. He than kissed my forehead sweetly for a couple seconds... I closed my eyes at the feeling.
I could tell it was a goodbye kiss. It almost felt like a forever goodbye kiss....
"I'll see you around" he said with no eye contact as he opened his car door.
"Ky" I began to speak with my eyebrows scrunched to get his attention as I was confused at what he said.
"I'll have Carter give you all your stuff" he said as he sat in the car.
"Ky!" I was about to place my hands on the top of his door but he closed it before I could.
He started the car up and was about to back up as tears rushed down my face.
I put my hand on the window to get his attention. He paid it no mind as he began to slowly back up instead of quickly so that he wouldn't hurt me.
I followed the car for a couple steps before I knew he was gonna get away.
Once I let go, he whipped his car fast.
"Ky!" I yelled to make him stop himself from leaving but it didn't work.
He quickly spun the wheel, making the car charge directions.
"Ky I'm sorry!!" I yelled after him as I watched him drive away.
I stood there breathing hard as hot tears ran down my face while I watched him disappear into the other cars.
I put one hand over my face and one hand propped up on my side as I began to cry....
That wasn't supposed to happen 😔......
Carter POV
After holding Pookie's hand during the hearing test, I was just sitting here.
They said that her brain waves came back more than before so she wasn't losing her hearing in her ear. They said her hearing should come back overtime.
I was so relieved to hear that...
I breathed out.
I dipped Dante's hands in acid this morning and broke his legs after tearing all of the ligaments in his knees, shattering his knee caps and breaking his ankles.... I had to keep him alive and able to speak because I needed to hear some things from him and he needed to hear what the FUCK I had to say too.
But what happened this morning was my first time ever seeing him.... I needed to just hurt him. I needed him to feel just a SMALL mothafuckin MILLI-fraction of what I was feeling.
I breath out as I quickly move that thought to the back of my head or I was gonna have to go to the trap and torture him more....
I continued to have multiple flashbacks of Shay as I sat in her hospital room and held her hand while I spaced out in the view of the window.... The night lights of the city shined through the at the bottom of the window a little bit....
The small glare of the light, emphasized the water building up in my eyes... Making my vision even more blurry.
This was all my fault....
THIS was all on me.
I had a fucking premonition in my sleep MONTHS ago that warned me... And I didn't do SHIT!!
💭 Dream 💭
I just got done letting some hoe give me top to make the pain go away.
I was NOT in a happy place right now.... I was actually lightweight heartbroken 💯
I was ignoring Shay's calls and texts.
It was weird when my phone went silent from Shay for awhile... I didn't really think anything of it though.
I guess she was finally done trying to talk to me. I thought it was her when my phone rang about 30 minutes later.
"The Nigga Ky" flashes across the screen.
I pick it up.
"Yo" I answer as I continued to roll a blunt.
"Man your gonna have to come to the hospital man" he said as he sounded like he had been crying or was gonna cry.
I gave him my full attention. He never cries or unless it was serious.
"What happened!?" I asked eagerly and worried.
"It's Shay man, her-" I cut him off.
"WHAT HOSPITAL!?" I yelled in panic.
"Mercy West" he said. I hung up and grabbed my keys and shoes before I ran outside.
My mind was everywhere right now.
I got to the hospital and ran outside. I look around and see Alisha crying in the corner, I can see stressed Ky pacing the floor with his hands over his head.
I could see from the door that they were COVERED in blood.
I ran over to them. "WHAT HAPPENED!??!" I yelled to Ky.
He explained what happened but I couldn't pay attention after 'couldn't tell if she was alive' came out of his mouth.
My body went numb.
What the fuck did I just do!?- My dream was cut off when I woke up from that NIGHTMARE.
I immediately look up at sleeping Shay in a panic and she had her arms wrapped around me as I slept on her chest.... We were laid up on the couch and it was super windy outside.
I breath out roughly after my panic episode.
I softly lay back down on her chest to hear her heartbeat.
I'm BEYOND relieved and glad that that was just a dream...
💭 End Of Dream 💭
I let tears fall freely as I brought my face down to her hand. I brought her hand to my lips and gently kissed her scraped up hand.
I than placed her hand back on the bed carefully and put my hands up to my face as guilt, heartbreak and pain took over me.
I laid my head on the side of her bed, next to her hand as I faced the wall.
I just let my heart hurt unbearably as I cried deeply.
This was really what my life has become.... 😪
After a longtime of crying, I felt a small movement against my head but it quickly stopped so I paid it no mind.
Seconds later, I felt it again as I weeped but still paid it no mind. I'm trippin.
*Minutes later*
I suddenly felt a fragile hand, gently being placed onto the side of my head, in my hair.... following a small, strained gentle breath of exhaustion and pain.
"What's... wr... wrong...." I heard Shay, barely whisper.
I frantically look up to Shay to see a wave of pain wash over her. She slightly groaned and her hands stiffened in pain.
It was the first time I heard her beautiful, soft voice in a weeks. And of course it was her asking ME what was wrong when she was the one that was in the hospital bed.
I could tell that she was in indescribable pain just by the way she talked and tried to breath.
I still just wanted to take her pain away and put ALL of it, on myself.
Her eyes were so swollen that she still couldn't open them, not even a little bit.
She must have been able to tell it was me somehow or known that I was there in a way.
But she remembered me..... After ALL of that head trauma she STILL managed to have her memory.
She truly is a miracle....
I slowly put my head gently against the top of her bruised hand while holding it softly.
I put my hand over my eyes, with my elbow on the hospital bed as I began to cry even more, if it was even possible.
She was going to be okay. I couldn't describe how happy I was.
I began praying and thanking god.
I couldn't keep it together.... It was like God had TRULY answered my prayers.
I heard her let out a quiet, short breath as I cried hysterically.
"....Why.... are y....you.. cr...." She winced in pain for a second and let out a quiet, soft breath. She breathed in again "crying...." She finished while letting out another small breath of exhaustion. She spoke slowly and very low. By the time she got to her 3rd word she was out of breath.
I KNOW she wasn't supposed to be talking with all of her broken and bruised ribs still healing.
She was so tired just by saying only a couple of words. She couldn't move, not an inch.... without pain. I could read it all over her face and just by the way she was stiff and straining herself. But here she was, talking to me.....
I wanted to take ALL of her pain x10 and put every bit of it on myself, as long as she didn't have to feel it than it was fine with me....
I look up at her with tears still sliding rapidly down my face.
"Because the woman I've been in love with for the past year almost died because of me" I exclaimed truthfully. She had never really heard me admit it before besides when I yelled it at her that one time... even though she most likely already knew it... It's different when you hear it.
She started to quietly cry, or cry as normal as she could without triggering anymore pain than she was already in. "I'm sorry" she whispered as she cried causing more heavy tears to run down my face.
I stood up and went to the head of her bed to soothe her. I held her bruised hand in place at the side of her as I put my head carefully against the side of her fragile head as I buried my face in her pillow.
"Shhhh.... Shhh, baby don't cry" I whispered, trying to calm her down. I tried to keep my voice from cracking.
I softly wiped the tears that escaped the sides of her swollen eyes with my index fingers.
Her face was still so swollen, I had to be very gentle.
"I love you... so.... so much" I softly whispered as I cried.....
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60 votes for the LAST chapter AND THIS chapter to update :).
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