I didn't remember pulling up to the house or walking to the door. Until something slammed into me, sending me crashing into a side table. The vase that was on it toppled over, smashing into a thousand pieces.
My breath hitched, my mind zoned in that I was in danger. Loud, horrible noises flooded my senses. I scrambled trying to back up against a wall but couldn't. The floor was slippery and I couldn't grasp onto anything. My mind blanked out and suddenly I felt like I was in a medical test room. Flashbacks inundated my mind, short-circuiting my thought process.
Anna was shouting, angry. Someone was screaming and others were crying. Little voices. Small ones. Loud, unfathomable chaos rained around me. A pounding thunder resounded in my head. The beats of my heart pounded in fear. Children were hurt and I wanted to try to find and protect but I couldn't see past the haze. I reached out to the sound I yanked my hand back when it was cut open by the surrounding glass. My mind had me frozen in fear.
I tried looking but the only thing I could see was that damn gold ring.
"Brianna, breathe. Just close your eyes and breathe." Said a deep voice. It was calm. Completely unshaken by the upheaval around me. It was good and I knew it was safe. That voice could be anchor that I could grasp.
I tried but my lungs wouldn't fill. Fear filled my heart and paralyzed my actions. I was suffocating.
"Just take a breath. In and out. " He said again, calmer than anything I had ever heard. It sounded like Bo, Anna's husband.
I tried but it was shaky.
"That's it. In an out. Take a deep breath of fresh air." He said again, the other voices of crying fading in the background.
Then it happened. My lungs gasped in a lungful of air.
Slowly my vision returned, the spots faded away. A quiet calm remained in the remnants of the foyer. It was a mess. I was confused and scared. I wondered what brought the calm and made the bad fear go away. That's when I looked up, into the face of Anna's husband Bogart.
"It was the kids. All three were a bit too excited and knocked you into the table. Don't move, there glass everywhere." He said, his voice as still and smooth as the surface of an undisturbed lake. Still and as solid as an oak tree.
I couldn't believe the first time I met the kids, I was so overcome with fear, I couldn't even see them. I grasped my head. Kids. Simple, sweet, amazing kids left me scared. Their normality hurled me over the edge. It wasn't just Max that was gone.
The person I was, was no longer there. Everything was different.
I realized something at the moment. Even though I couldn't feel anything, even though I shutdown every thing that connected my emotions to my heartbreak, one emotion would always cling to me. Fear.
I might have left my prison, but fear was still holding me captive.