A/N: Roughly inspired by Style. As per usual, characters, show, and the song are NOT mine. Taylor pls don't sue me.
July 16, 2015
'Why do people go to war when no one can ever win,' Jade thinks as she stares at the ceiling of Althea's condominium. Althea's beside her, and they've both been quiet for a few minutes. They're lying on the floor, after two hours of negotiations, of attacks and counter-attacks in the form of words. Jade wonders why she isn't bleeding. She and Althea have hurled so many hurtful words towards each other, each word like a knife going through her ribs, each word like a bullet embedding itself inside her. Every word is going to leave a scar, she's sure of that.
She should end this.
Jade straps her last grenade into her body.
She releases the pin, knowing full well that her next words are going to leave a large, gaping hole in her chest.
"This is over. We're over."
Jade knows it. Althea knows it.
Ten minutes of silence, but the explosion of her words is still ringing in Jade's ear. She can hear Althea's breathing more ragged by the minute. She doesn't dare look at her.
"Leave. Get out of my house."
Jade does.
x
November 19, 2015
Althea was supposed to have a quiet night in. Maybe a movie or two with Miggy. She even bought dog treats for him. She was peacefully waiting in line to take out some pizza when she saw her. Her. Suddenly, there she is, like a ghost from Althea's past life.
Has it only really been four months?
Jade Tanchingco, holding a huge box of pizza and probably texting someone on her phone. She's wearing a coral-colored dress, one which hugs her body in the best way. She remembers Jade wearing it to one of their dates. Feels like a lifetime ago.
Althea's felt her palms sweating, her knees weakening. Maybe she stops breathing, she's not sure.
She should've just ignored her or turned around. That would've been the smartest thing to do. But her feet and mouth had minds of their own, and they're not very bright minds at that.
"Jade?"
Jade's coffee brown eyes widen comically upon seeing her. "A-althea?"
"Can we talk?" Althea didn't know what came over her to ask that question. It's as if she wasn't the one speaking.
'God, this is the girl who broke your heart. What the hell are you doing, Althea?'
Because 'talk' is not just 'talk.' Not with them. Not with all this tension boiling between them.
Jade looks uncertain for a minute, but there's a look in her eyes. Hungry. Longing. Anguished.
"Sure."
x
"I hate you, you know that," Althea says breathlessly even as she lets Jade unbutton her jeans and as she lets her own hands travel up Jade's thighs. She peppers kisses on Jade's warm, soft neck. The girl on top of her is pulling off her jeans now, and Althea raises her hips a little to let her.
"You hate me? Then why did you ask me to... what was it? Talk?" Jade smirks as she successfully divests Althea of her pants.
Jade's hands are all over Althea right now, holding her, touching her the way only she can. "To tell you that I hate you," Althea manages to get out.
Jade lets out a little laugh. "Fair enough. Do you want us to stop?"
"I didn't say that." Althea pulls Jade closer to her and crashes their mouth together in a short but deep kiss. This is what she's been missing for the past four months. "But this is the last time okay?"
"I..." Jade hesitates. "Okay."
x
December 28, 2015
Althea Guevarra, 10:13 pm: Hey
Jade Tanchingco, 10:17 pm: Hey stranger
Althea Guevarra, 10:19 pm: Are you free tonight?
Althea Guevarra, 10:20 pm: To talk? At my place?
Althea Guevarra, 10:21 pm: Plus, your Christmas gift is here
Jade Tanchingco, 10:22 pm: I thought the last time was the last time?
Jade Tanchingco, 10:30 pm: Uy?
Althea Guevarra, 10:33 pm: If you don't want to then it's fine
Jade Tanchingco, 10:35 pm: Who said I didn't?
Jade Tanchingco, 10:35 pm: I'll be there in 20 mins
Althea Guevarra, 10:38 pm: See you. Drive safe :)
x
February 13, 2016
Jade's on the brink of sleep, her eyes getting heavier and her breathing getting more even by the minute. She's about to give herself fully to sleep when -
"Jade?" Althea calls out softly from beside her.
"Ungf?" Jade grunts ungracefully. She pulls Althea closer to her, the other girl's warmth and softness lulling her even more to sleep. "Why aren't you asleep yet?"
"I need to tell you something. It's important."
"Can't it wait til tomorrow morning? I'm sleepy," Jade protests, pulling the thick comforter closer to her bare body. The air-conditioner's temperature is set quite low.
"It's important."
Jade doesn't respond and pretends to have fallen asleep already.
"Jade? Jade, come on. Lablaaab. It won't take long. Please?" Althea pokes Jade on the side, making Jade giggle and giving her away.
"Ugh fine," Jade disentangles herself from Althea and reaches for the bedside table to turn on the lampshade. She shifts on the bed to face Althea, who's looking quite on edge. She's been looking pensive all night. "What is it?"
"Someone asked me out today. For Valentines."
Jade raises an eyebrow, intrigued. And a little jealous. "Really. Is that why you've been a little weird all night?"
Althea only gives her a nod.
"Well... I'm not surprised. I mean, you're... you. You're Althea. Did you say yes?" Jade says, trying to keep her voice casual and nonchalant.
"Not yet. I told her I'll think about it."
"Do you want to say yes?"
Althea tears her eyes away from Jade and looks at her hands like they contain the universe's secrets. "I don't know."
"Okay. Do you want us to get back together? Like, officially?" Jade reaches for a pillow, trying to use it as something of a shield if Althea says no.
"I don't know," Althea replies.
"Althea," Jade sighs, frustrated.
"You know, I was a wreck when we broke up? You hurt me, Jade."
"You think you're the only one who got hurt? We both knew where we were going to end up Althea, and I was the one brave enough to take us there."
"I could've fought for - "
Jade doesn't let Althea finish her sentence. "No, no. You were the one who gave up first. I asked you to be more patient -" she says, her voice cracking.
"I was tired of being patient, Jade!" Althea cuts her off. "I love you, but I cannot go through what we went through the last time. If you cannot fight for me, if you can't stand up for me and yourself against your family, if you can't leave David..."
"Then what have we been doing for the past three months, Althea?"
Althea shrugs helplessly, tears forming in her eyes. "I don't know, Jade."
"Do you want me out of your life?" Jade asks.
"No! No, I would never want that."
"Then what do you want?"
"I want you. Always," Althea says, willing Jade to understand. "Everyone else would feel like second-best compared to you. But I am scared of what that means, Jade. I'm scared that you're not the right person to want anymore."
Jade recoils a little, Althea's last sentence feeling like a punch to her gut. "Oh."
"Jade..."
"We should sleep. I'm really tired."
"Jade, talk to me," Althea pleads. She takes one of Jade's hands and squeezes it tightly.
Jade stares at their intertwined hands. "We will talk, I promise. I'm just... I'm really tired right now, and I need to process things, okay?"
Althea pulls Jade in for a hug. "Okay, good night?"
"Good night."
x
February 14, 2016
Jade doesn't even knock or ring the doorbell to Althea's condominium, knowing that Althea is expecting her and has unlocked the door. She goes inside and thinks about leaving her bag on top of Althea's couch, but in the end, she doesn't. This visit wouldn't take long, she's sure of it.
"Jade is that you?" Althea calls out from the direction of the kitchen.
"Yeah, it's me," Jade replies. She makes her way to the kitchen, where she finds Althea cooking something.
"Happy Valentine's day."
"Hey, happy Valentines," Althea turns around a warm, welcoming smile on her face. Jade's heart, or whatever's left of it, is breaking. "You made it."
"I did. You're cooking pancakes?" Jade asks once she smells the sweet, doughy scent in the air. She goes to Althea and snakes her arms around her waist, settling her head on the other girl's shoulders, trying to get strength from Althea's presence. Willing herself to be as strong as Althea. "Those for me?"
Althea places a kiss on Jade's cheeks. "Yeah. They're strawberry pancakes, your favorite. I know you probably had dessert with your date with David, but I thought I'd do something for you since we've both been busy the whole day. We can do something more romantic next weekend."
It's moments like this that Jade forgets that she and Althea aren't actually together anymore, and it would be so easy to let all of this continue. It would be so easy to keep pretending. But no. She has to do this. Again.
Jade wills herself to take a step back from Althea, putting distance between the two of them. "You're the best person in my life, you know?"
Althea gives her a soft, beautiful smile. "Really?"
"Yeah. And I am sorry for not always making you feel like you are." Jade takes a deep breath and then -
"You should say yes to her."
Althea looks at her questioningly. "What?"
"You told me that someone asked you out. You should say yes."
"Jade, what are you talking about?"
"I'm taking a one-month trip with David to the US," Jade starts explaining.
"Oh. I get it. So you want me to say yes to a date so I wouldn't be bored while you gallivant around the States with your boyfriend?" Althea says angrily. "Am I getting this right, Jade?"
"No," Jade answers. "Because whatever this is, whatever our set up has been for the past few months - the not-knowing-where-we-stand, the sneaking around, the seeing-each-other-for-a-few-days-or-weeks stuff... all of that is over."
She can hear Althea's breath catching in her throat. "Is this because of David?"
"David is irrelevant. He has nothing to do with this," Jade replies, trying to keep her tears at bay. "I'm doing this because I love you."
Althea laughs, but it's humorless. "Bullshit!"
"I'm doing this because you deserve better. We both do," Jade continues, unfazed. "I was having dinner with David tonight when you texted and asked how it was going and... and I kept thinking that you should've been the one with me at that beautiful restaurant. Not him. You do not deserve to just be my after-hours, Althea. You do not deserve to be a dirty little secret. You do not deserve just one week, or one day, or one night or one hour of my time. You deserve the world. And I..."
"You cannot give it to me yet."
Jade nods. "I'm doing this because maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not the right person to want or need. Maybe we do not deserve each other. At least not yet. Not now. I'm trying to be better, Althea. I really am."
"I understand," Althea says shortly.
"Do you hate me?"
"That would be easier, wouldn't it?" Althea scoffs.
"Yeah, it would," Jade smiles sadly. "So what now?"
"Well, I have a stack of pancakes here that I cannot finish alone, so..." Althea offers a hand. "Friends?"
Jade didn't think it was possible for a person to hurt this much. But she grits her teeth and reaches for Althea's hand. She'd rather have this than nothing.
"Friends."
x
March 24, 2016
Jade Tanchingco, 4:53 pm: Hey I'm back. Let's have coffee tomorrow?
x
April 3, 2016
Althea Guevarra, 5:21 pm: I'm sorry if I wasn't able to reply last week. Was busy :(
Jade Tanchingco, 5:45 pm: It's okayy :)
Althea Guevarra, 5:49 pm: So how about that coffee?
Jade Tanchingco, 5:52 pm: 5 pm tomorrow, that coffee shop near your office?
Althea Guevarra, 5:55 pm: Sige. See you :)
x
April 4, 2016
"You cut your hair," Althea says once she and Jade have finished ordering. They're seated across each other in the same spot in the same coffee shop they've probably been to a hundred times. But things aren't the same anymore.
"It was just a little trim," Jade smiles. "I didn't think you'd notice."
Althea shrugs. She knows Jade and her body so well. She notices everything. "How are you? How was the US?"
"Good," Jade answers, and Althea's not sure if she's talking about herself or the US. Maybe both. "We were still there for the first day of spring. It was beautiful."
"So you enjoyed the trip with David, huh?" Althea retorts, unable to keep the hostility out of her voice.
Jade rolls her eyes at Althea's tone. "I know what you're thinking," she tells her ex-girlfriend. "We weren't even on the same floor of the hotel, Althea. He was there for a business trip, I was there to... I was there for a vacation. But yeah I enjoyed the trip. It was nice to get away for a while."
The waiter comes with their orders - a macchiato for Jade, a chai latte for Althea, and a slice of pistachio cheese cake to share. The two of them smile at the waiter, thanking him for his service.
"I said yes," Althea says once the waiter leaves. "A few days after you left, I said yes."
Jade takes a sip of her coffee, taking her time to answer or react. Is she jealous? Of course she is. The love of her life just went on a date with someone not her. But she was the one who told Althea to say yes, was she not?
"Oh," she finally says. "That's... yeah. What's her name?"
"Jade - "
"Don't worry, I'm not going to stalk her or harass her or whatever," Jade puts her hands up in mock surrender. "If you don't want to tell me, then it's fine. I just thought I could ask since we agreed to be friends and all."
Althea picks up a fork and stabs a piece of cheesecake. She chews on it slowly, glancing at Jade every now and then.
Jade sighs, frustrated. She knows that she has no right to be. But she is, and she hates herself for it.
"Her name's Cathleen," Althea says, almost whispers, after minutes of silence. "Met her at a friend's party."
Jade repeats the name over and over in her head. Cathleen, Cathleen, Cathleen. "Okay."
Althea brings her cup to her lips and takes a sip.
"Thank you for telling me," Jade says.
Althea puts down her cup and looks Jade straight n the eyes. "Well, you're right. We are friends. Friends tell each other this stuff."
"Is she good to you?" Jade can't help but ask.
"Yeah, she is. Very."
Jade wants to ask Althea more things. Are you already exclusive? Do you bring Cathleen to this coffee shop too? Do you call her late at night too just to hear her voice, like you did when we were still together?
But she doesn't hate herself enough to ask those things.
"That's good. You deserve nothing less."
Althea doesn't say anything and just gives her a smile.
x
May 11, 2016
Jade tosses and turns in her bed, unable to sleep. She looks at the clock. 3:22 am. She has work in five hours. She's contemplating going for a lap in their pool to tire herself out when her phone suddenly rings. She looks at the caller.
Althea Guevarra
Jade's heart drops to her stomach. Why would Althea be calling her at this hour? Jade swipes right to accept.
"Hello? Althea?" she says, cautiously.
Jade hears someone breathing, maybe even sniffling on the other side, but Althea does not answer.
"Althea..."
Still no answer.
Jade doesn't end the call though, and waits for Althea to speak, if ever she will. They stay that way for a few more minutes, the two of them willing the other to understand everything unsaid between them.
How did we end up here?
I miss you.
I am still in love with you.
Then, Jade hears a beep. Althea has disconnected.
Jade tosses the phone to the other side of her bed and closes her eyes, her throat tight and her eyes stinging.
"Happy second anniversary, Althea," she says to no one in the dark.
x
July 2, 2016
Jade meets Cathleen on a Saturday, on the bar where she, David, and Althea went to hang out a lifetime and a half ago. The same bar where she confessed to Althea that she loved her. She isn't scared of rooftops anymore. There are scarier things than high places.
Losing the love of your life through your own doing, for example.
"I'm Jade," she offers a hand to the girl standing next to Althea. She pastes a smile on her face, hoping that it doesn't look as pained as she feels.
Cathleen is beautiful - no she's gorgeous, and Jade feels a little of her childhood insecurities creeping up on her. She quickly brushes them away though.
"Hi. I'm Cathleen," the girl shakes her hand, her grip tight and firm and her tone a little wary.
Jade drops Cathleen's hand. "It's nice to meet you."
"You too." Cathleen takes one of Althea hands and intertwines their fingers together. "Althea has told me about you."
Jade glances at Althea, who's shifting her eyes uneasily between her and Cathleen. Can Althea see how much this is hurting her?
"I bet she has," Jade says. "Anyway, I... I have to go. Sally's waiting for me. It's nice to see you Althea. And nice to meet you Cathleen."
"Pleasure's all mine," Cathleen says.
Althea clears her throat. "Yeah, nice to see you too, Jade," she says, her voice quiet.
Jade gives them a final wave before making her way to where Sally and her boyfriend are. She doesn't think she can spend the night in the club though. She tells them that she's not feeling well and that she's going home. Sally doesn't seem to believe her but she lets her go.
x
Once home, Jade changes her clothes and shoes, then goes out again. She runs circles around their subdivision, letting the cold air of the night raise goosebumps on her skin. She runs and runs and runs, trying to make her lungs and legs hurt just as much as her heart is hurting.
x
October 15, 2016
"You're leaving," Jade slurs as Althea opens the door to her condominium. Althea looks like she's already been sleeping - her face is bare, her eyes are droopy, and her hair's a little disheveled. Jade would feel a little guilty if she wasn't so mad and vaguely turned on at the sight of Althea in micro-shorts and a bright pink tank top. Jade vaguely remembers wearing that once. Or maybe she took it off Althea. Either/or.
"Jade?" Althea asks, her voice a scratchy from sleep.
Jade leans on the door frame and attempts to give Althea a seductive smile, which miserably fails. "The one and only."
Althea's eyebrows furrow in concern. She extends an arm in a motion to pull Jade closer, but she catches herself at the last second. Only her fingertips were able to brush Jade's arm, but it's enough to send goosebumps all over Jade's body. "You're drunk. Are you okay? What are you doing here?"
"Where's your girlfriend? Is she inside?"
"What are you doing here?" Althea repeats.
"Where's Cathleen?"
"Jade..."
"I was in the area," Jade shrugs. "And you're leaving tomorrow, so I decided to drop by."
Althea considers this for a few seconds, her lips pursed in disapproval. Finally, she sighs and pulls Jade inside. "Come on, it's cold out there in the hallway."
"Where's Cathleen?"
"Why are you so obsessed with where my girlfriend is?"
'My girlfriend.' Althea's girlfriend, Cathleen. Jade could almost die at the thought. What a sad, pathetic turn of events.
Jade rolls her eyes and takes a sip of the water that Althea gave her. "I'm not obsessed. Just asking. Because if she's here, then I shouldn't be here. I don't want to intrude and cause any trouble."
"Should've thought of that before you came here drunk at one in the morning," Althea says. Her tone is accusing, a little bitter.
Jade stands up, wobbling a little bit because of the alcohol in her system. "Yeah, I... I wasn't thinking. It's not a big deal, I can leave. Sorry if I wanted to see you."
"You have no right to want that," Althea says harshly.
Jade takes a step back, affronted. "I know. Calm do-"
"You were the one who broke up with me, Jade. Twice. You were the one who left," Althea says, raising her voice.
Jade huffs and rolls her eyes, trying to not let Althea's words get to her. "I know. Can you calm down for a moment?"
"You were too scared to fight for me. You chose him over me, and you don't even love him. Why? Because you're such a coward, Jade. You can't even fight for your own happiness."
"I KNOW!" Jade snaps, Althea's words cutting deep in her soul. "I know, okay? You think I don't? You don't think I punish myself for that everyday? You don't think I lose sleep over how we ended things? How I ended things?"
The two of them stay silent for a few moments before Jade starts speaking again. "I was scared, Althea. I still am. I'm not like you. I'm not... I can't just... Everything is complicated, but I am trying, Althea. I am."
Althea closes her eyes and rubs the bridge of her nose. "We've talked about this." She plops herself down on the sofa and sighs, a tired, frustrated sound.
"Yeah, we have."
"You remember that night we broke up? It's all I think about, Althea. I keep turning that day over and over again in my head, wishing that I could go back and do things differently."
Althea shakes her head. "But you can't. What's done is done."
Jade deflates. She looks down on Althea's tiled floor, too tired and drunk to argue. "Yeah."
A pause as Jade tries to compose herself.
"Look, I didn't come here to pick a fight or get you back or come between you and Cathleen," Jade explains wearily. "I just... I just wanted to see you before you left. Ran into Batchi this afternoon, she told me that your flight's tomorrow."
"Sorry for not telling you I'll be leaving."
Jade shrugs. "You didn't have an obligation to tell me. We're just friends now, right?" she tells Althea sadly. "Anyway, I should go. I don't wanna keep you up. I shouldn't even have come here."
"It's late and you're drunk. You can stay on the guest room," Althea tells her as she stands up from the sofa.
Jade squints her eyes. She wobbles a little, but the fight she had with Althea seemed to make her a bit more sober. "But Cathleen..."
"Is at her parents' house. Last-minute family emergency," Althea explains. "We'll meet at the airport tomorrow morning."
Jade wants to lie down and sleep - she's so tired and drained and sleepy - but she's not sure if staying in her committed ex's place is a good idea. "I can take a cab, seriously. I just don't want - "
"You don't want any trouble, I know," Althea interrupts. "But I can't on good conscience make you leave. I have a spare room, so we'll be on the opposite sides of the house. And I'll tell Cath, so it doesn't seem like we're going behind her back."
Jade considers this for a moment. "Are you sure?"
"I am," Althea nods and rubs her eyes sleepily.
"Then okay. Thank you. And I'm sorry for waking you up."
"You've done worse things," Althea says, but her tone is lighter now, and there's a ghost of a smile on her lips. Jade wants to maybe smile too, but there's a sudden tightness in her throat because yeah, she has done worse. "I trust you know where the guest bedroom is? There's some stuff there that you can wear to bed."
Jade can only nod.
"Okay. But I really need to go back to sleep if I want to catch my flight tomorrow," Althea tells her.
Jade clears her throat. "Yeah, you should. I'm really sorry for waking you up."
Althea waves a hand dismissively. "It's fine. This is better than you driving drunk."
Silence, as the two of them stare at each other for a few seconds. There's so much that Jade wants to say, but the situation feels all wrong.
"Good night, Althea," is what she settles on.
"Good night, Jade," Althea says before turning away and walking back to her room.
x
October 20, 2016
Jade breaks up with David. He gets angry and threatens to tell her father. She should feel guilty or scared, but she doesn't.
x
November 8, 2016
Jade moves out of the Tanchingco mansion, not caring at all about what her parents or her Angkong would say or do. Her father threatened to cut her off or disown her, but she stood her ground.
Paul comes with her.
x
January 21, 2017
Althea Guevarra, 12:21 am: At Bank Bar right now, where u at? Little catch up?
Jade Tanchingco, 12:25 am: Althea are you serious right now
Jade Tanchingco, 12:26 am: Its past midnight -___-
Althea Guevarra, 12:27 am: Come oooon I know you're still out
Jade Tanchingco, 12:29 am: How do you know I'm not in my bed and about to sleep?
Althea Guevarra, 12:31 am: Your IG post. You're just around the corner with Paul and his boyfie come join me for a while?
Jade Tanchingco, 12:33 am: Stalk much?
Althea Guevarra, 12:35 am: Nah I scrolled through my IG feed duh
Althea Guevarra, 12:35 am: So would you come over?
Althea Guevarra, 12:36 am: I know you hate being the third wheel.
Althea Guevarra, 12:37 am: Or are you with David too
Jade Tanchingco, 12:40 am: No I'm not
Jade Tanchingco, 12:41 am: and ugh fine but you're paying for all my drinks
x
Jade shakes her head and tries to tamp down the smile growing on her face at the sight of her ex. The last time she saw or even talked to Althea was three months ago, the night before Althea flew to Europe for a trip with Cathleen. Jade was a bit drunk after a night out with Sally, resulting in her showing up in Althea's doorstep at one in the morning. It wasn't her proudest moment, but whatever.
Althea's at the bar, fiddling with her phone and two drinks in front of her. From the entrance of the establishment, Jade could see a full view of Althea's outfit - a white blazer, blue skinny jeans, and nude pumps. She looks ridiculously good and Jade would've stared a little bit more but Althea suddenly looks up from her phone, sees her, and waves her over to the bar.
Althea stands up and greets her with a hug and a huge smile when she gets there. The hug is familiar, comforting, and Jade resists the urge to prolong it. Althea smells like... Althea. Like peaches and fresh laundry and that perfume she loves so much. God, she missed Althea Guevarra.
"You made it!"
Jade kisses Althea's cheek just for the hell of it. She pretends not to notice the blush creeping up on Althea's face. "I did. Are you here alone?"
"I was with Batchi earlier but she had to go home early for Marinelle." Althea motions to the seat beside her. "Take a seat." She pushes one of the drinks in front of Jade. "Hope you don't mind that I ordered for you."
It's a frozen mint daiquiri, one of Jade's favorites. Althea herself has a lemon drop martini.
"Nice choice," Jade smirks as she settles down on her seat. "You trying to get me drunk?"
Althea lets out a snort. "No. I just remembered that you like it. You ordered it almost every time we came here."
Jade smiles. "So. I haven't seen you in what? Three months?"
"Yeah, more or less. Since you came to me drunk before my flight," Althea nods. "When I woke up you were already gone."
Jade stirs her drink to avoid looking at Althea. "Sorry. I was... I was so messed up that night. I left a note though."
"You did. You told me to have a safe flight and to enjoy the trip," Althea says. "Anyway, how are you?"
"Good, good. A lot has happened and changed, but I'm coping very well if I do say so myself," Jade answers with pride. "Ikaw? How have you been?"
"Busy with work, but it's fulfilling and I'm having fun." Althea's smile is wide and Jade is enamored. Seeing Althea's smile is... something else. It's something Jade would never get tired of seeing.
"I'm happy that you're happy."
It's Althea's turn to avert her eyes and stir her drink. "How about you, Jade? Are you happy?"
"Don't worry about me, Althea. I'm happier than I've been in a long while," Jade says because she is.
"That's good. I'm glad."
Silence as the two of them focus on their drinks and on everything around them except each other.
Finally: "I wanna apologize by the way. For the things I said the last time we saw each other."
"Oh. It's fine. You were telling things as you saw them. We're good," Jade assures her as she puts down her drink.
"I was being unfair."
"Maybe. But we've both been unfair to each other. Honestly, it's fine."
"Well, okay. I promise not to blow up like that again," Althea nods. "How's David, by the way?"
"I wouldn't know. Haven't talked to him properly since we broke up last October," Jade answers simply.
Althea's eyes widen in surprise. "You guys aren't together anymore?"
"Yeah, I broke up with him, like, after you left."
"Oh. I'm.. I'm sorry."
Jade can't help but laugh at and be touched by Althea's sincerity. "Don't be sorry. You should be glad. You know I was never in love with him."
Althea mulls this over for a second before shrugging. "Eh, you're right," she picks up her glass and raises it for a toast. "For freedom."
Jade clinks her glass against Althea's, something familiarly undefinable surging in her chest.
"For freedom."
x
"...and then five days later, Gab tells us that mom talked to dada and we were allowed to keep our positions in the company," Jade tells Althea. "He still doesn't talk to us though, haven't since we moved out, but were taking it day by day."
"So you haven't gone home since November?" Althea asks, still shocked by the fact that Jade didn't only break up with David, she also moved out from the Tanchingco home. "Wow."
It's almost 3 am and they're leaning on the hood of Althea's car. They parked it on a rooftop parking lot of some building after taking out some burgers and fries in their favorite joint.
"We have, actually. We're allowed to visit mom and Ama, but only every weekend," Jade is trying to be nonchalant, as if the situation doesn't bother her. She focuses on the city lights in front of her. She can feel Althea's eyes on her as she talks. "Sometimes we get invited for a dinner, but never when my uncles are there. We were there for a few hours on Christmas and New Year's too."
"That's..."
"Terrible, I know. But it's a set up I can live with," Jade says. "But enough about me. How are you and Cathleen by the way?"
Althea's expression suddenly becomes inscrutable. "Uh, we're..." she starts.
"It's okay, I'll be fine," Jade says, even if she's really not sure if she'll be fine. She'll probably be crying herself to sleep again tonight.
"We actually broke up. Early December, I think?" Althea's tone is unusually even.
Jade takes a few seconds to process that information.
"Oh my God, Althea. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know."
Althea shrugs and gives Jade a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "It's fine, don't worry."
"Are you okay?"
"I am. Honestly. It's not like I'm still hung up over her," Althea retorts. "It's just... I hurt her. That's something I never intended to do, I promise. I tried - we tried so hard, you know? And it wasn't enough."
"Why wasn't it enough? I mean, if you wanna talk about it."
"I guess I'm not one for settling."
"I guess I'm not one for that too," Jade mumbles, looking Althea straight in the eye. "Not anymore, at least."
"I'm proud of you, you know? For standing up for yourself," Althea says, the lights of the stars and the city reflecting in her warm brown eyes. "But I think you already know that."
Jade smiles. She doesn't even need to answer that. Althea knows. She reaches across the hood for Althea's hand, and takes it into her own.
They don't talk; they let the silence of the city be the background of the moment, whatever or wherever that moment might lead to.
It's Jade who breaks the silence.
"What does this mean for us, Althea? If anything." For the first time, Jade's not scared. For the first time, Jade feels that things may actually be okay.
"It means... whatever we want it to mean."
Jade takes a deep breath, because this is it. She pulls Althea closer to her and holds her face in her palms. "I think we're still in love with each other."
"I don't think we ever really stopped," Althea says, her voice a mere whisper. "It's you I keep coming back to."
Jade closes the distance between their lips, and the kiss is soft and rough, insistent and slow at the same time. The kiss is trying to make up for lost time. The kiss is looking forward to many more shared. The kiss is an I'm sorry. The kiss is a thank you. The kiss is an I love you.
The kiss is a finally.
They have a lot of things to work out and and talk about, but this? This is a start.
It's Althea who pulls away first, panting, her forehead resting against Jade's.
"We taste like burgers."
Jade laughs. "We do."
"We'll figure this out, okay? If we haven't already."
Jade nods. They can do that. They have the rest of their lives.
Althea buries her face in Jade's neck, her arms wrapping around Jade's waist. "I really missed you."
"Me too. So much. Take me home?"
"Always."
x