The next morning, 5:30am, Brennan had taken a shower, gotten dressed, and her luggage was ready. She prepared coffee and filled a cup for Booth. He was still sleeping. She squatted in front of him. He was so peaceful, it bothered her to wake him up. But they had to leave soon. Their flight was at 8:45.
"Booth..." she whispered.
He didn't move a muscle.
"... Booth," she tried again, poking his shoulder.
"Mmmh," he groaned. That made her smile.
"Booth, wake up."
"Go away..." he mumbled. He tried to turn to his other side, but he slipped from the couch. By falling, he hit her and she spilled hot coffee on him.
"God dammit!" he yelled.
Surprised, she yelped, "Sorry, Booth! Sorry!"
He cursed again, getting up.
"I'm sorr..."
"It's ok!" he replied, cutting her off. He didn't sound ok. She watched him walk straight to the bathroom, and slam the door.
She hesitated between feeling horrible and wondering why this was such a big deal. She had spilled coffee on herself to, and it was his fault. He was the one who fell off the couch.
When he got out of the bathroom, he went to the fridge and poured himself an orange juice.
"I'm sorr..." she tried again, wondering how she was supposed to defuse him.
"Yeah, you're sorry, I get it."
"No need to snap at me. I didn't push you off the couch!" she replied as cold as he did. "And if you didn't want to fall off a couch, you should have slept in the bed."
His head spun towards her.
"I didn't sleep in the bed because I knew you didn't want me there!"
"What? I never said that."
"You wanted me to sleep with you?"
Yes.
She decided to ignore his dig. He was in a crappy mood and he wanted her to be as well.
"What time did you go to sleep?" she asked.
Same as you. He maybe had 3 hours of sleep, and that wasn't nearly enough. She had had a wonderful evening with some guy, slept 3 hours and looked damn hot. It wasn't fair.
"11, maybe?" he lied.
"Then why are you so grumpy?"
"I'm not grumpy," he mumbled. Yeah, right. He got up and finally took the cup of coffee she had ready for him. "I'm sorry I yelled," he said, looking at her right in the eye so she'd know he was being honest. "I'm not a morning person."
She nodded.
"Did you have a good time last night?" he dared to ask, fearing the answer.
"Great." But her voice didn't mean it, which made him a little relieved. Only a little.
Something wasn't quite right. They hadn't fell into the weird silence treatment on their way to the airport, but still. After takeoff, Brennan undid her seatbelt and turned to him. She thought she knew what was bothering him.
"I'm sorry you had to spend your evening alone. I shouldn't have gone out with Mike when I had already told you I would have dinner with you." There. All should be fine, now.
"It's fine. I watched TV, called Parker. Everything's good."
He couldn't fool her, though. She decided to open up. He always said if she wanted others to open up, she had to give a little something of herself. So she did.
"I didn't sleep with him," she confessed with a straight voice.
She saw him grip the armrest a little tighter. Maybe he was afraid of flying.
"I don't want to know," he quickly said. Then why was he naked in the bedroom? he thought. Then he realized she was surely being literal. She hadn't slept with him. He dug his fingers into the armrest, trying to pull the fabric.
Thinking he heard her wrong, she repeated herself.
"I said, I didn't."
"And I said I didn't want to know!" he said, finally looking at her.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"No," he answered too quickly.
She sighed, brushing her hair off her cheek. Maybe he had been a little cold.
"Is it a sex question?" he asked, still annoyed.
"Kind of," she said, meeting his eyes.
"Then no." He broke eye contact.
She asked anyway.
"Remember that girl you told me about, Karen Isley? The one who left you naked under the bleachers?"
He looked at her then. She remembered her name? Bones remembered everything, but she wasn't that good with names.
"Were you extremely mad at her for doing this to you?"
Ok. She's trying to tell you something. What is it?
"What's this about, Bones?"
She scratched the spot under her nose. She did that when she was uncomfortable. So he calmed down.
"Did you run off with his clothes?" he asked. Because I'd be really proud.
She did as if she hadn't heard him and asked another question.
"Did you ever find yourself in a situation where you were about to have sexual intercourse, and the girl just... couldn't? Changed her mind at the last possible second?"
Her voice was stable, but her eyes were shifty. So, she really didn't sleep with him. He saw her nibble on her lower lip.
"Are you okay, Bones?" he asked, putting a hand on her forearm.
"I could have, though. He seemed to have great stamina," she said.
"Stop," he winced, taking his hand off her. She was not gonna go into details, was she?
"He had great hands, too..."
"Bones, I mean it."
"Oh, me too..." she said, teasing him.
"Stop it, ok?" he said, looking back at the TV screen imbedded in the seat in front of him. "I'm not one of your gay friends," he said.
What?
"But... we're friends," she said. "I thought friends shared that kind of stuff. Angela does all the time."
"She's a woman."
"I'm a woman."
"And I'm not. You don't get it, do you?" he finally asked. This is driving me crazy. Thinking of another man touching you? No, thanks.
"I get it," she said, surprising him. But then she added, "You don't like knowing about other men's sexual prowess because of your alpha-male status."
Wow. She's something else. Tired of this, he decided it was time. Time for him to give her a taste of what she was putting him through. Maybe then she'd get it. He stepped on his pride and began.
"Ok. Let's talk, then. Last month, I was with this woman, right?"
Last month? She tried not to react.
"And, man! She was beautiful," he continued, already shy. "She had long blond hair, down to the small of her back. Legs up to here." He took a deep breath. "The way she kissed me was... Wow. She got me going, if you know what I mean."
Brennan knew he was trying to prove a point. She just didn't know which point she was supposed to get. Jealousy or arousal? He went on.
"As soon as I pressed her against me, I..."
Arousal, then. He was turning her on. Was that his intention?
"Fine! I get your point." Loud and clear. And she turned her head back to the window. Booth thanked God she had stopped him. He didn't know what else to invent.
Now they could argue about anything else. Uhm...
"Look at that guy," he said. "He's all alone..."
"You know, from an evolutionary standpoint, our survival has depended on the ability to prevent rejection, or to reclaim membership to the group once rejected..."
That's my girl! Though she had lost him at 'evolutionary'. He wondered what she'd say about airplane peanuts...
***
She was back at the Jeffersonian. She had missed her office. She had missed everyone. But she missed Booth more. She hadn't seen him in two days. She rationalized her feeling by telling herself it was because they just had spent every waking –and sleeping- hours together. But it didn't help.
Angela had wanted to talk about the Mike fiasco. Brennan didn't. After a whole day of avoiding the Booth subject, she decided to talk about it. As a favor to Angela, to their friendship. She knew sharing that kind of stuff would deepen their bond. Angela would be happy... And maybe, just maybe, it would help her too.
They were sitting on her couch in her office. She saw Angela was waiting, but she didn't know where to start.
"Maybe you should ask me questions," she suggested.
"I'll go straight to the point, then. Did you kiss him?"
"I'm not sure..."
Angela laughed. "Then you probably didn't, Sweetie."
"I mean, I did. I kissed him. I'm not sure he kissed me, though."
Angela was lost trying t figure out how that was possible.
"It might have been an accident," Brennan explained.
"How..."
"I forgot to put the lemon between my teeth. So when he went for it... He went for me."
Angela's eyes widened.
"You two did body shots?!" she tried not to yell.
"Well... We did shots... and our bodies were kind of involved, so..."
"Where?"
"In the living room."
"No," Angela explained. "Where... on the body."
"His hand... and my neck. Where else can you do that?" she asked, intrigued.
Angela would have found this really cute, but they didn't have time for that.
"Anywhere, honey."
Brennan shivered at the thought. Anywhere?
"Yeah," Angela said, seeing how that shook her up. "You'll know it next time."
"Can I ask you something?" Brennan said timidly.
"Anything."
"How do I know if he's... What if I try to and he..."
Whoa. She couldn't formulate her sentence. There were way too many questions that wanted answers. Angela laughed.
"Let me ask you something. Do you want it to happen?"
She wasn't sure what it meant, but she nodded.
"I think so."
"Then go for it. Please. For all of our sakes."
"But what if he doesn't..."
"He can't say no to you. Not with those shiny blue eyes of yours."
Brennan didn't feel that was convincing. But she couldn't say anything. Booth had walked in. Finally.
"Talking about me again?" he said, jokingly.
"Yes," Brennan replied, in all seriousness.
Both Angela and Booth were stunned a little by her forwardness. As much as she wanted to stay for this, Angela got up and left. Booth was nervous. Brennan looked like she was on a mission or something.
"You wanna sit down?" she asked him.
"No?" he said, unsure, his voice unsteady.
She sighed and took a deep breath. She had no plan. She didn't know where to begin, what do say, what to do. She was freaking out. But she took a plunge. Here it goes.
"Wait," he interrupted her, sensing this was what it thought it was. She was about to tell him, finally. Right? In a few seconds, she'd finally tell him that she had realized what he had known for almost a year now. He had waited all this time because he knew he couldn't push her. But this was seriously not good for his mental health. He wanted her. But he wanted her to want him too. Not just physically. So he had to ask, to be certain.
He sat down and lost himself in her eyes. They were shimmering. They did that when she was getting emotional. That's a good sign, right? He wasn't sure what he wanted now. But he was there.
"Do you... have feelings for me?"
He wasn't sure why his voice had gotten all shaky. He had sounded scared. He wasn't scared, was he?
Feelings? She couldn't think. He was staring at her in a such a way... Like his life depended on her answer. And she felt stuck. She felt like running away. But she stayed put. Go with the truth.
"Of course. You're my friend. I care for..."
Not THAT truth! THE OTHER ONE! her brain yelled at her.
"No," Booth corrected her. "I mean..."
"I know what you mean," she confessed above a whisper.
"Oh."
They both stared at their hands, feeling that they were about to jump. And that they would never be able to climb back to where they were. To where things were safe. Most of the time.
"You want the truth, right?" she asked rhetorically. "I..." She couldn't lie. She couldn't. She didn't know what he wanted to hear. She only knew that: "I don't know." That was the God's honest truth. She. Had. No. Clue. She didn't know what she was feeling. She couldn't process emotions as fast as others. If he'd have asked do you want to have sex with me, she'd have said yes in a heartbeat. But feelings? She had feelings. She didn't know which ones.
"You don't know?" he repeated. "What kind of answer is that?"
She picked up on his irritation. It set her off a little.
"It's the only one I got right now!" she yelled back.
Way not to push her, Booth.
He had thought about this moment. A lot. Almost every day, in fact. In his mind, when this moment would come, he'd put on his charm smile, the one that made a squirm, and he'd kiss her. But this was happening for real now. When had he became such a sissy?
Her insides flipped, twisted and tied into a knot. That was the wrong answer, wasn't it? She clasped her hands together so he wouldn't notice she was trembling. Did I ruin everything? Her voice probably seemed detached and cold when she asked,
"What do you want me to say?"
"Guys! We'v got a case! Three bodies were found literally sitting on a park bench," Cam said, popping her head in. "We need you," she added, slapping her hand on the door frame.
Booth wanted to stay. He wanted to finish this. They had danced around this way too long. But Brennan had taken this opportunity to button her lab coat, take her big bag, and in a flash, she was out the door. He decided to breathe instead of running after her. Three freaking bodies? What was that? A cosmic joke?