The realisation crossed Zach’s face as he thought Allie didn’t want him. Zach pulled back from her suddenly, pain filling his eyes. Allie felt her heart melt for him.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ha-” Zach begins hurriedly.
“No, no, Zach that’s not it!” Allie didn’t want him jumping to the wrong conclusions, she needed to explain, and she didn’t want to hurt him, “It’s me, I just- You’re wonderful, and this is sort of a big deal. I’m still just not sure what- I think... I- I like you. I mean, I really like you! I just don’t know if I’m okay enough for this, I don’t want to weigh you down. Or, disappoint you.”
That was Allie’s biggest fear, disappointing Zach. What if he had high expectations, or he thought of her as more than she was?
The pain vanished and his eyes lit up again, “You’re not going to do either of those things Alile,”
“You don’t know that...” she muttered, chewing on her lip again.
“Yeah I do,” Zach smiled softly at her, “If you just want to stay friends...” he trailed off, begging her in his head to say she didn’t.
“No!” Allie spoke quickly, blushing hard once she realised how eager she was “I mean, unless you do?”
Zach smirked at Allie’s quick reply, “How about, we just take it slow?”
Still chewing her lip, Allie looked at him guiltily, nodding her head, “I’d like that... I’m sorry to make you wait...”
“Allie, I’d wait forever.”
Her eyes snapped up, staring at him. Would he really? Did he honestly think she was worth that? Allie didn’t believe she was.
“Well, you won’t have to wait that long, promise!” Allie smiled a little at him, trying to lighten the mood again.
“How long do I have to wait until I finally get to kiss you then?”
Allie just smiled, and bit her lip again. The fact that he was willing to wait, and he still wanted to have her when he could have any other girl at the snap of his fingers spoke worlds to Allie. She didn’t want to make him wait long.
~
Allie woke up a lot earlier than she would have liked to, but at least she was in her own bed. Allie groaned loudly into her pillow, trying to pretend it wasn’t Monday. Trying to pretend it wasn’t the day she would be starting her final year of school, in England, with no friends, when she would be two months from finishing if she were in Australia right then. An annoying beeping continued to sound from her phone as she buried her face further into her pillow, trying to block it out.
Twenty minutes later after finally giving in, Allie had gotten up, showered and thrown some appropriate clothes on. She was brushing her teeth when she heard her father leaving for work. Not even a goodbye on her first day. Not so much as a good luck, or have fun. Not even a good morning. Allie brushed off the hurt, there was no point in starting the day feeling bad. Her phone beeped as she was rinsing her mouth.
Rob
First day of school today right?! Have fun & good luck. It’ll be fine :) x
Allie felt a little better as she read it, at least someone cared. Allie put it off as long as she could, not wanting to leave. Eventually though, she worked up the nerve and left, closing the door behind her.
Allie was halfway to the street when she heard her name. Spinning back around Allie found a shirtless Zach jogging towards her, a beanie had hurriedly been shoved on his head, because he hadn’t had time to fix his hair. Allie’s eyes slid from his beanie, raking over his toned chest.
“What are you doing to me, Anderson!” Allie groaned, addressing Zach by his surname as she openly stared at his naked torso.
Zach’s hand reached out, pulling Allie into him by her hips. He laughed lightly and pressed his forehead against Allie’s rubbing their noses together. He was willing to take things slow for her, but that wasn’t going to stop him from showing her what she could have in the hopes she would want it sooner. Even if Allie wasn’t his, she still kind of was, and he was definitely hers. Lable or not, there was something between them.
“Have a good first day,” he said warmly. “Can I walk you or drive you or something?”
“In this sexy outfit?” Allie giggled, looking him up and down. “I don’t think I want to draw that much attention to myself on my first day” Allie rested both her palms on his chest, nuzzling his nose again.
“Alright, alright! I wanna go back to sleep anyway,”
Allie blushed, knowing he’d gotten up just to see her off. She rolled her lips into her mouth, holding in the enormous grin threatening to break loose. She felt him moving away, loosening his grip on her hips. Allie didn’t want him to go away, she slipped her arms up around his neck; pulling him back into a hug. Zach smiled to himself and wound his arms around her waist. A shiver ran down Allie’s spine.
“Can I see you later?” She asked, resting her head on his shoulder.
“As if I could ever say no! I’ll call you when you’re free from prison,” he laughed, pulling away again.
Allie pouted at the distance, she just wanted to be close to him, to feel that warmth, and the excitement.
“Promise?”
“Of course, baby,” Zach kissed her forehead. Yeah, she was his.
The blood rushed to Allie’s cheeks again and she let her eyelids flutter closed at the contact.
“I don’t want to go.” She told Zach.
She was dreading the idea of facing school again. It had been so long, she wasn’t going to be ready for this kind of thing. So many people, all that noise. She would have to concentrate and try, and find a place where she belonged. There would be expectations and people judging her with every turn; she simply wasn’t ready.
Allie tried to hide her face in Zach’s chest, but he pulled her chin back up, looking her in the eye. Both of them lost track of their thoughts for a moment; Allie forgot why she was scared and nervous as she got lost in his eyes. Zach snapped out of his trace and spoke, breaking Allie out of hers.
“You’re going to be fine, and I’ll be here when you finish,” Zach kissed Allie’s head again, letting his lips linger for a moment longer than necessary.
Accompanied with the sound of wheels on the pavement, Hannah skated past and grabbed Allie by the hand. “Let’s go!”
Allie was torn away from Zach, who just laughed and waved. Allie stumbled because Hannah was moving too fast for her while maintaining a grip on her. When they were halfway down the block, Hannah slowed a little and let go of Allie.
“Excited?”
“Terrified.”
“You’ll be fine, you’ve got me.”
Allie sighed, she had thought about that. Yes, she and Hannah got on brilliantly now they had relaxed a little around each other, and Allie was grateful for a familiar face. However, Hannah already had her friends, she had her clique and Allie wasn’t apart of it, she also felt like she wouldn’t fit into it. On top of that, Hannah had a boyfriend at school, and Allie was in no hurry to be a constant third wheel, it would only make her miss Troy and increase her nerves about Zach.
“Yeah, I know. I know.”
Hannah looked over at Allie, watching her chew her lip nervously. She made a mental note to look out for her, she was worried that something more was bothering Allie, something she didn’t know about. Hannah didn’t have many girlfriends, she was generally surrounded by boys; being around Allie was refreshing, and Hannah wanted her new friend to be happy.
It wasn’t too long before they reached the school, Hannah pointed Allie in the direction of the office just as the first bell rung.
“I’ll come and find you during lunch, alright?” Hannah promised before rushing off to her already assigned classes.
“Can I help you?” The office attendant asked Allie as she waited awkwardly at the curved desk.
“Yeah... Uh, it’s my first day? And I don’t really know where I’m supposed to be...” Allie told her.
She gave Allie a sickly sweet smile, “What was your name?”
“Allie Richards,”
“Just a moment,” She sat down behind a computer and a few minutes later a timetable had been printed off and handed over with a yellow slip. “So your first class is Maths up in room 103, it started at 8.30, so you’ll be a little late, just give your teacher this note. Your locker number is here,” She pointed to a number above the right top corner of the table, “So that’s on the second floor.”
“Okay, thank you,” Allie mumbled, with a quick smile she left again, walking over to the main school building.
The stairs were to the left of the entrance, Allie made her way quickly up them and found herself in a crowded hallway students were crowded around lockers, throwing things in and loudly complaining that they had to got to first period on the first day; clearly no one intended to be on time as they were already fifteen minutes late. Allie felt herself becoming incredibly self conscious. She walked to the nearest locker and looked at the number; 78, the one below it was 79 and the one to the right was 80. Allie followed them around, keeping to herself, until she found 112. Looking at the code beside her locker number, Allie assumed it was the combination, so she spun it, letting out a sigh of relief when she heard the access granting click.
Eager to waste the minutes before heading off to her first class Allie carefully pulled things from her bag and figured out where she wanted to put them, smiling to herself as Lucas’ drawings jumped out at her. After what seemed like hundreds of awkward minutes, students began drifting off to the classes they were already supposed to be in. Allie looked at the timetable in her hand, Maths, English Language, History, Art and Social Sciences. She shrugged to herself, trying to brighten her thoughts. She just felt dread weighing down on her, even as she tried to remain positive. Pulling out a book and some pens for maths, Allie found her way up to room 103.
The door was open, four rows of tables went from front to back of the classroom, and each with two chairs sitting under them students already dotted the room, some sitting on tables, some on chairs. No one spared Allie a glance as she made her way to an empty table at the back of the class. Allie tapped her fingers absently on the table in front of her as she waited for a teacher to make her classmates to settle down. Finally the middle aged woman facing the whiteboard turned around, leaning against the front of the teacher’s desk. Conversation slowly died down and people sat correctly in their seats as the last few students trailed in. A quiet girl sat beside Allie, focused intently on the teacher.
“For those who don’t know me, I’m Ms. Edge,” She said simply before launching into her explanation of the areas the students would study.
The girl beside Allie scribbled notes, but she was one of the few. Allie sat there listening without a pen in her hand, just like a majority of the other students. Already, the only thing Allie wanted was to cuddle up on the couch next to Zach and watch some lame romantic comedy. She found herself constantly glancing at the clock then returning her attention blankly to the board. Allie felt like she was wasting her time sitting there. She could be doing something else, more interesting, more useful. Granted Allie needed to finish school. She just couldn’t help thinking about all her friends back home, who weren’t really her friends anymore, that would be preparing for final exams at that moment, while Allie just sat there beginning her first day of her last year. She had no motivation at all to do maths.
Allie didn’t have any motivation for any of her classes.
Lunch rolled around slowly, after her first three classes Allie was exhausted. She scanned the halls for Hannah when someone grabbed her from behind. Allie squealed a little before her ears were met with the sound of Hannah’s laugh.
“Hey, come on, you can meet my friends,” Hannah linked their arms and tugged Allie through the school “How were your classes, meet anyone cool?”
Allie shrugged, “Yeah, they were okay, I didn’t really talk to anyone,”
Hannah led Allie through the cafeteria, grabbing some fruit on the way. She tossed an apple to her and hopped down the stairs into the school grounds. A tall guy came walking over to them, he was a little lanky, and had glasses shoved onto his nose and messy hair. He didn’t look like the kind of guy that Hannah would be with, his serious stone face seemed incompatible with Hannahs loud happy attitude. Despite that, he walked up, wrapped an arm around Hannah’s waist and pressed his lips to hers.
“Mikey, this is Allie!” Hannah beamed from her boyfriend to her friend.
Allie raised her hand in a half-hearted wave.
Mike smiled warmly at Allie, he had heard a lot about her. “How are you finding it?”
Allie shrugged and looked around at the buildings and the wide grounds. “Big.”
“Well, that’s one word for it.” Mike agreed with a chuckle.
Hannah linked her arm with Allie’s again and led her around the side of the building. A few kids were leaning against the bricks. While covering most of the ground was dirt and grass, there was a cement semi-circle extending from the base of the wall. One boy was skating around the edges of it, while mid-conversation with another of them against the wall.
“Guys!” Hannah interrupted any and all conversations her friends were having.
“I want you to meet Allie! She’s new,”
All eyes were on Allie and she felt her palms beginning to sweat. Eyes trailed over her as she anxiously waited for some kind of approval. The boy on the skateboard stopped in front of her and held out his hand. Allie tried to subtly wipe the sweat off her hands as she raised her hand to shake it. His brown eyes were warm and welcoming, which was reassuring. His skateboard gave him extra height, adding to what he already had over Allie. He wasn’t bulky, but he wasn’t lanky either. There was nothing unattractive about him, but as Allie looked her over quickly, she found nothing that made her think he was attractive either.
“I’m Wayne,”
“Nice to meet you,” she told him awkwardly.
“Oh, no it’s not!” A blonde up against the wall assured me with a giggle.
“Shut up Suzie,” he stuck his tongue out at her.
“You two bicker like a couple, you know.” Mike pointed out.
It was only forty minutes, but the lunch break seemed to go on forever. Allie could get along with Hannah friends, no worries. They had a good sense of humour, none of them were stupid. They had enthusiasm and a great positive energy. So yeah, Allie could get along with them. She just felt out of place. The longer she was around Hannah and Mike, she wondered how he didn’t as well, or, maybe he did and he had just gotten used to hiding it; for Hannah.
~
Hannah
Stop bugging me in class.
Lucas
No one’s making you reply.
Hannah
You know I feel bad if I don’t!
Lucas rolled his eyes at the message but smiled fondly at the words from his best friend and flatmate.
“What are you grinning at?” Zach walked in from Lucas’ kitchen, holding a messily made sandwich.
“Nothing,” Lucas mumbled his reply, trying to hide the smile.
Lucas
Not my fault your soft.
Hannah
I’m not soft!
Lucas
Yes you are, you’re like a fluffy little kitten.
“Weirdo,” Zach picked up Lucas’ TV remote and began flipping through channels.
Hannah
Hey! Who are you calling fluffy?! :(
Lucas
You, obviously.
Hannah
And this is why we can’t have nice things.
Lucas
We have plenty of nice things, don’t be such a drama queen.
Hannah
Why are you so mean to me?
Lucas
You make it easy?
Hannah
You suck.
Lucas
Eww.
Hannah
Why are you so gross?
Lucas
You’re rubbing off on me (;
Hannah
Fuck off
Lucas
You’re not even mad, you’re smiling right now, I know you are.
Hannah
I’m going to pay attention now.
Lucas
See, I told you. Alright, alright. Love you Han x
Hannah
Gross, but you too xx
Lucas looked around his home. He and Hannah weren’t the cleanest of people. There were pizza boxes piled on the corner of the coffee table and bits of rubbish littered the floor, even more after Hannah and Allie had unwrapped all their stationery there the day before. He knew he should clean it, but he was having a hard time finding the motivation. He noticed a beanie sitting on one of the armchairs, recognising it gave him all the motivation he needed.
Without a word, and ignoring the questioning look he got from Zach as he left, Lucas entered the kitchen and found a rubbish bag. Walking back into the lounge he grabbed the old beanie and threw it in, covering it up with the pizza bottles, empty soft drink cans and all the other junk that littered what they all referred to as ‘home base’
“Why are you cleaning?” Zach asked.
Rather than answering Zach and explain his sudden urge to clean, Lucas asked a question, “Why are you in my house?”
“It’s not a house,”
Lucas gave Zach a flat look. Holding his hands up in defence, Zach contemplated telling Lucas the reason he had come over an hour earlier. Since he got there, they had barely spoken. Lucas had been watching some movie, and now he was cleaning and between the two activities Zach had gotten a sandwich and Lucas had been texting. They had plenty to say to each other, but they also had no discomfort with silence.
“So?” Lucas pressed as he tied up the rubbish bag and left it by the door.
Zach shrugged, looking away. He suddenly felt silly for coming over to his friend. He felt like a child again, and that was far from what Zach was. He was a grown man, a grown man with a big question on his mind and only one friend he thought would be any help to him. Liam. So why he was at Lucas’ was a good question.
Even though Zach was sure he would not find the answers he was looking for in a conversation with Lucas, he knew his friend was growing curious and he did need someone to speak to about what was on his mind.
“Can I ask you a stupid question?”
“Yeah, ‘course,”
“Well... Do you...” Zach blushed a little, overly embarrassed, “What do you think about love at first sight?”
Lucas made himself comfortable on the armchair diagonally across from Zach and smirked over at his friend, “Got someone in mind?” He teased.
Zach rolled his eyes and sunk back into the couch, “I mean it Lucas! She’s- she’s perfect, and I know it’s crazy because I hardly know her; but I want to know everything about her, and see her all the time and make her smile and kiss her. When I first saw her, I just, I felt so drawn to her, and the first time we made eye contact; I think my heart stopped man,” Zach ended up staring off into space as he recalled how it felt and a chill ran down his spine.
Lucas ignored the uncomfortable squirming inside his stomach when he heard Zach talking about Allie like that.
“Do you love her?” Lucas asked, half scared of the answer.
Zach turned his attention to Lucas. He knew Lucas wasn’t testing him, he was asking because Zach had made it sound as if he did believe love at first sight could transpire. He was asking because Zach’s words had implied that was what had happened with Allie. Zach frowned a little, looking past Lucas’ eyes and at a spot on the wall next to his head.
“I- I don’t know. How do you know?” Zach finally asked.
Lucas sighed. How did you know when you were in love? Lucas knew the answer, at least, he knew what it was for him.
“I think love at first sight can exist. Sometimes you just don’t realise it in the moment; but when you look back, you realise it was always there.” Lucas told Zach.
Zach's curiosity peaked. He hadn’t expected to hear that kind of thing from Lucas. Usually he was rather shallow, but that was far from it.
“Maybe you’re right...”
“Why don’t you go meet her? She’ll be finishing in half an hour, surprise her. I reckon she’ll want to see you. It would have been a rough day; first day’s always are..” Lucas suggested.
Honestly Lucas was just trying to change the subject. There was no way he was going to be explaining to Zach why he knew he was right about the whole ‘love’ thing. It was too much for Lucas right then. Besides, Zach wanted to see Allie, he’d been wearing a love struck look all day, and Lucas knew Allie would want to see Zach, too. As much as he selfishly didn’t want to encourage their relationship, Lucas knew he had to.
~
Allie was pulling out the books she would need for her final class of the day (History) when one of her other folders slipped from her locker and clattered to the floor.
Reaching down Allie moved to pick it up, but someone beat her to it.
“Hey, this is cute. Did you draw it?” The girl who picked up Allie’s folder was referring to one of the pictures Lucas had drawn the afternoon before. She and Hannah determined it was cat.
Allie glanced over the girl before her, blonde, short, blue eyes, no make-up, perfect skin and a winning smile. She was beautiful in a subtle kind of way, the way that made every girl jealous when they realised.
Allie shook her head, “No, one of my friends got their hands on my stuff,”
“Well here,” the girl handed the book back, “I’m Jen, by the way.”
“Allie,” she smiled, ”nice to meet you,”
“You too, we both gotta get to class now though, see ya,” Jen gave Allie a small wave and a smile before heading off.
Allie found her way to History. Like she had done in each of her classes; Allie located herself in an empty table at the back of the room and sat down. She fiddled aimlessly with a pen as other students, all tired from the first day back and out of motivation, filed in. How did she get stuck her? She felt so uncomfortable in her own skin, and in this place.
“You alright?” a boy asked.
“Ha. Not remotely,” Allie laughed bitterly. “Sorry,” she apologized quickly, looking up at him, “probably not the answer you were holding out for.”
The guy dropped his books on the table and sat down beside Allie with a smile. “I find the honestly oddly refreshing,” he told her.
Allie raised an eyebrow as a smile tugged at her lips. He scratched his short spiky blond hair, crinkling his nose as he did so. He was wearing jeans and a blue plaid shirt open over a black V-Neck that hugged his muscular body, but it was subtle muscle, the attractive kind, not all ‘jock-like’ and bulky.
“I’m Allie,” She introduced herself after a short silence.
His smile reached his bright green eyes, there was an energetic shine in them. Allie had a good feeling about it, the smile was reassuring and contagious.
“Alex.”