FOURTEEN
My least favourite activity to do was working out—even more so when it was just past six in the morning on a Sunday and I was still trying to wake up. When I finished changing into my workout clothes, I exited Travis' bedroom and hoped I could persuade him to jump back into bed and get some shut-eye.
"Benny wasn't messing around when he meant early morning workouts, was he?" I yawned, and regretted agreeing to go to the gym with him when he'd asked last night. Granted, I felt guilty having skipped out a lot due to my busy schedule and since hooking up with Travis. Plus he had a body that he kept in combat shape which made me feel unworthy just to be standing next to—not that I was an extension of him in any way though it gave me a greater incentive to hit the gym.
Still... a girl needed her sleep.
"You know you don't have to come with me. Get back into bed and be lazy."
The sight of Travis in his workout attire woke me as effectively as a shot of caffeine. He'd changed into slim fit sweatpants and a racerback vest. As awe-inspiring as he was naked, he was even more so when ready to pump iron. The tank showed off his precisely carved pecs and arms, the sweatpants drew attention to his lean hips and waist, and further down where you could just make out the size of his length which had me wondering if he was going commando.
Suddenly the lack of sleep I'd gotten wasn't important—just the anticipation of seeing him in action was enough to totally eclipse the horror that I'd be sporting serious dark circles for the rest of the day.
"Holy shit," I breathed, unabashedly staring.
"You read my mind, precisely." Travis glowered as he sauntered over to me in that way of his. "Is that what you're wearing?"
Tearing my eyes away from the titillating man in front of me, I glanced down at the Indy sports bra and matching black yoga shorts I was wearing and frowned. "Yes. What's wrong with it?"
"Too much skin and not enough material."
I crossed my arms and arched a brow at his caveman tendencies. "Are you going to dictate what I can and cannot wear?"
"No." His mouth curved with that infuriating smirk. "But you'll have to get me out of trouble with Benny if he asks why I'm too busy worrying over who's looking at your tits in that top instead of training."
Dealing with Travis' possessiveness was a new one for me. I'd never had anyone take measures to be so protective over me, except for Cameron though that had been because he'd felt obligated. Travis wasn't attached to me in any way... yet he still marked his territory whenever the opportunity presented itself.
I rolled my eyes and tugged him toward the door. "It's too early in the morning to argue with you. So I'll let that slide." I glared at him sideways. "For now."
*
"It seems like wherever you go, everyone else is suddenly damned interested to be heading that way too." Travis scowled at the unusual number of men that were in the section of Hank's gym as we were after he gave me the tour.
I shoved at his shoulder. "You're incorrigible, you know that?"
Before Travis could respond, the flat chime of the bell announcing an arrival caught our attention. We both simultaneously stilled when Benjamin walked through the door. My spine stiffened with repulsion.
Travis pivoted back to me, his face impassive. "You gonna be okay here?"
"Yeah," I shot him a strained smile. "Go do your thing."
I watched as Travis acknowledged his father with a simple nod, and then walked straight past him, his posture cool as ice. Dressed similarly as his son, the resemblance between them was striking. I couldn't fault Benjamin on his looks even with a lived-in face that betrayed his age. I admired the Ortiz genetic material as Benny strode toward me, his legs eating up the distance between us with long strides. Stopping just a hair breadth away from me, he smiled in a way that made my skin crawl.
I would be forever haunted by the look that had been on Travis' face when he told me about his past, and the sound of his voice, so helplessly agonized with pain. I understood why he was reluctant to spend any more time with his father than necessary. Being around Benny brought back memories I'd fought so hard to push down. My chest tightened with that all too familiar ache of anguish.
"Jaxon tells me you swayed Travis' decision in choosing me to be his trainer." There was a hint of surprise in his voice that got my back up.
"That's seriously debatable." I countered. "Nobody can make Travis do anything he doesn't want to and least of all, me."
"I don't know about that." His gaze flicked to Travis—where Hank was fastening cotton hand-wraps tightly around and over his hands and wrists—then back to me. "Lately it seems like wherever Travis is... you're not too far behind."
My lips thinned into a grim line. I had nothing to say to that.
"I hope you know what you're doing." He went on, his mouth curving wryly. "I'd hate to see you become a... distraction for Travis."
I found myself frowning at his cryptic comment, staring at his retreating back as he ambled over to Travis, having said what he'd needed. It was an agonisingly accurate description of my current predicament with Travis. I had no clue what I was doing with him; except that I couldn't stop even if I'd wanted to.
*
"You okay?" Travis asked while I unlocked the door with the key he'd given me as we returned to the apartment two hours later. "You've been quiet ever since we left the gym."
Hyperaware of his gaze studying my profile, the same way he'd repeatedly done on the drive back, I forced myself to relax as I walked ahead. "Yeah, I'm good. Just tired and fatigued. Not a good combination." I chuckled humourlessly.
Travis caught my elbow and spun me around. Those green eyes burned into me—so very intrusive yet indulgent which was what made it hard for me to maintain a poker face. Other than Cameron, Travis was the only person who could read me like a book.
My gaze settled on his collarbone as I ran my splayed hands over his bare chest, knowing that would shift his focus to something else. He'd removed his tank sometime during his workout, which had led to me getting absolutely nothing done.
"Want to grab a shower first while I start breakfast?" I peered up at him, my hands smoothing down the planes of his back before dipping into his sweatpants and gripping his very hard, very taut ass.
He paused for a while when he'd realised there were no avenues around the topic of my sudden mood I was willing to discuss. And even though he didn't show his frustration, the way his fingers flexed restlessly around my hips gave him away. I swallowed down an overwhelming rush of guilt.
He was so careful to make sure I felt comfortable around him, never pushing me too far near the edge. Even while he never tried to hide his secrets with me, never pretended to be any less of the person that he was. My shoulders slumped with disappointment that I couldn't do the same for him.
But it'd been quickly overshadowed by the crackling in the air as his eyes warmed to a scorching heat. "How about I grab you in the shower and then you let me take you out instead?"
My mouth curved appreciatively. "Is there any point in asking where we're going?"
"Not really."
"Is there any point in asking what you're going to do to me?"
His grin flashed wickedly. "Depends on what we're talking about here. In the shower or when I take you out?"
My lips twitched with amusement. "Both."
He let out a soft chuckle that brought an subconscious smile to my face. "Not really."
I grinned wider. "Okay, then. I am, as always, at your service."
Travis caught me up, and kissed me hard. "Damn straight."
*
The excitement I felt before we left dampened once it hit the half-hour mark since Travis started driving. He deliberately kept me entertained—and let's face it: the sight of him driving was always a blessed distraction—so I hadn't been paying attention to the outside, only that somewhere along the way I'd noticed we were leaving the city.
The skyscrapers of Indiana blurred into streets lined with trees, the wilting leaves an array of fall colours. It was all fun and games until I genuinely wanted to know where the "mysterious" location really was.
When I'd registered the brownstone houses, each one as moderately beautiful as the other, houses that I'd dreamed to live in whilst growing up, it only strengthened the curiosity. Anxiety pooled at the pit of my stomach from being kept in the dark.
I abruptly straightened in my seat. "Travis..." I asked slowly, my heart stuttering. "Where are we going? And I'm asking seriously now, all jokes aside."
Travis tightened his lips, being the usual stubborn-ass that he was. "You'll know when we get there."
I twisted to face him, my palms clammy with sweat. My mind filtered through a number of excuses, the familiar instinct to run gnawing at me until I was chewed inside out. "Travis, I'm not really sure I'm dressed for a fancy Sunday brunch."
That wasn't a total lie. I carelessly threw on my favourite faded denim jeans, a woollen sweater and a pair of Converse—a light outfit I'd packed to spend the weekend with Travis. I squirmed in my seat, already feeling like an outsider in the townhouse clad neighbourhood.
Travis glanced at me, his fingers interlinking with mine. "You look perfect. You always do. Don't worry."
The heartfelt sentiment unfortunately did nothing to calm my nerves. Travis lifted my hand to his mouth, kissing my wrist. When his lips lingered over my pulse, I knew there was no way he could mistake the way it was racing.
*
The multi-floor row house Travis pulled up next to wasn't as nearly as extravagant as the infamous New York City brownstones but it was quaintly modern and quirky in its own way—the building painted in a reddish-brown sandstone, ornate bay windows and the historic stoop. I'd been so engrossed by the exterior that I hadn't registered Travis exited the car and rounded the front until he stood on the passenger side with the door open.
With his awaiting hand outstretched, he glanced at me with that face. It wasn't mean or annoyed or scolding but it was reassuring, almost pleading and I crumbled.
I'd realised there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for Travis if he asked. Which was a conviction currently being tested because I'd never before been introduced to another family, from the time when I wasn't considered as important enough for someone to be a part of every aspect of their life. I could be partial to blame since my flight instincts kicked in whenever brought around a family unit due to a lack of exposure of one, and abstinence of experience from my own.
I've previously met his father and his brother which meant that I've already tied myself into a web I wouldn't be able to tangle my way out of when the time came. I should have taken a step back and distanced myself—revisited the reasons why I'd preferred, and thought it was better to remain unattached...
But I took a deep breath and slipped my hand into his anyway.
*
I would have liked to tell you that the interior was as beautiful as it was on the outside, but when I stepped into the house, the décor wasn't what dictated my attention. Instead I took in the sight of the woman standing in front of me.
Travis' mother was nothing I'd imagined. Sandy blonde hair was sleeked into a stylish bun, showing off angular cheekbones and a pointed chin with fine lines around her mouth. Her almond shaped eyes were a baby blue, positively glowing with amusement. With a kind smile on her face, she was tall and beautiful in a finely delicate way.
Her svelte figure dressed elegantly in dark blue slacks and a white blouse, she approached Travis first and greeted him with enthusiasm, pressing a very French kiss on either cheek. I saw the adoration in Travis' eyes as his face lit proudly with something like joy while his mother fussed over him. Even though they were both a stark contrast to each other, there was no mistaking they shared a special bond. Witnessing it brought an unconscious smile to my face.
And that was exactly what she was hit with when she warmly greeted me.
"I'm so pleased to have finally met you. You're just as beautiful as Travis described you." My smile faltered a little because once again, Travis had mentioned me to his family without my knowing. I didn't know what to do with that information.
I flushed. "Thank you. It's nice to meet you too..." I paused, my brain grinding to a halt because I certainly was sure that she wasn't married to Benny anymore—calling her Mrs. Ortiz would be rude.
Her mouth curved knowingly. "Call me Anne. Please." She stepped forward and stroked her hand affectionately down my hair, her kind eyes regarding me.
I nervously shifted on my feet; feeling overly unsettled because touching sometimes triggered the fears that ran deep especially when the person was a stranger. It was also harder to bear it as her face was alight with pleasure—I rarely had that effect on anyone, least of all mothers.
Noting my discomfort, Travis lightly teased, "Give her some space, Mom."
She stumbled back with a sheepish smile. "I apologise for being so direct. This is a first for Travis. He hardly brings anyone around here. Must be a special occasion," she silently arched an eyebrow at him.
My face shuttered immediately and I purposely ignored Travis' sympathetic gaze, even as he caught my hand and gripped it bone-crushingly. It seriously irked me that he'd brought me here, even with the understanding of the parameters of our relationship. But a part of me had to admit that knowing I was the only woman that he'd considered good enough to introduce to his mother affected me even more.
Anne's gaze slid to our adjoined hands and she flashed a megawatt smile. I inwardly hid a grimace, already anticipating her reaction when she eventually learned the truth. Her perception of me would change drastically and that didn't sit well with me.
"Travis!" A little blur of golden hair and tiny legs skidded into the room. The honey-toned voice rang a bell and when I saw the girl, dressed in a frilly pink dress, I remembered her from the night I'd first stayed at Travis's. She arrested her breakneck pace just before she reached Travis and launched herself at him.
Skylar was the total opposite of what I'd envisioned that day—pretty with wispy blonde hair and mischievous blue eyes, Travis' little sister was the spitting image of her mother. As I saw the three together, I understood that the reason why Travis desperately tried not to place value on his appearance was because he looked so much like his father—a man that he resented—which explained why he didn't want anything to do with Benjamin.
"How's my favourite girl?" Travis' voice changed into a calm and protective tone, low and smooth. I could listen to him talk like that all day. Skylar twined her arms around his neck and hugged him with all her might. I watched as Travis whispered in her ear and then set her on her feet.
She dawdled over to me, a shy smile curving her mouth, displaying a front tooth missing that made her downright adorable. "Hi, Miss Maddie. I'm Skylar but everyone calls me Skye."
I almost melted at her politeness. I glanced at Travis first as he threw me a smile before bending down to reach Skylar's eye level. "Hi, Skye. I really like your dress. It's beautiful."
She gave me a toothy grin. "Thank you."
Anne placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Why don't you give her the tour, Skye? You can show her your room."
"Okay. Come on, Miss Maddie!" Skylar replied enthusiastically, grabbing my hand and tugging me away. Her excitement was contagious so I eagerly followed her footsteps, partaking willingly in her mostly one-sided conversation along the way.
I glimpsed over my shoulder briefly as she babbled, the smile bleeding away once I caught Travis' gaze. Anne was talking to him rapidly but he was focused on me, a look on his face I couldn't quite decipher. I wasn't sure if he had a motive behind his decision to bring me here or if it'd been on a whim because I'd fallen into a mood after what Benny had said at the gym. Either way, I saw a flare of hope in his eyes that made an emptiness inside me ache.
I looked away, returning my attention to Skye and swallowed past the lump in my throat, wincing at the sandpapery burn. Plastering on a smile, I ignored the burgeoning urge to leave, even as we'd only just arrived.
*
A couple hours after we had a lovely assortment for breakfast courtesy of Anne, we congregated in the small yet picturesque garden. Anne and I settled in wooden chairs adorned on the patio whilst we watched Skye and Travis play a game of ball. Travis wasn't kidding when he'd said Skylar could throw better than most boys around her age—she had an impressive arm for a seven-year-old.
"He's great with her." I looked over at Anne, admiring the simplicity of her beauty. A few tendrils that had loosened from her bun caressed her face in the breeze.
She'd been so welcoming already, kindly sharing profusely in that way that didn't entail reciprocal conversation. No word about Benjamin had been mentioned but she talked about how she remarried not too long ago to a lawyer named Henry, and she did so while struggling to fight a grin off of her face which made me smile. And when Travis had praised him too, I knew he was a surrogate father for him in many ways Benjamin had not been.
"Do you have any siblings?" She asked warily. It was hard not to frown. Through conversational gymnastics and Travis' help, I'd luckily been able to deflect the friendly personal questions she'd inquired about so far. Anne had obviously caught on that I wasn't one to share.
"None biological," I admitted, with a twist of my lips. Before she could take pity on me, I hurriedly hastened to add, "But I have someone close to me I consider as a brother."
Realising that I had nothing further to say on the subject, she changed the topic. "Travis told me about the nature of your relationship... if you could call it that."
I froze. So she already knew.
Cringing inwardly, I turned to face her with slow deliberation. It was embarrassing as hell to know that the mother of the guy you were having not-so meaningless sex with was aware of the situation. I didn't want her to think any less of me.
"It's not like what you must be thinking." I awkwardly hesitated to explain. "Relationships haven't worked out too well for me in the past so I try to stay away from them." I lifted a shoulder in a careless shrug.
That was the most honest I've been and that wasn't even all of it. I didn't do relationships because I didn't have it in me to willingly allow having my sanity hinging on something that was temporary. Exposing my mile-long issues to her didn't seem like the best idea.
Her mouth curved in that way mothers did when patronising their kids. "It's none of my business, dear. Travis is so set in his heinous ways; I wasn't surprised when he'd told me. When I met you, however, that was a surprise." Then she glanced at Travis who depicted an adorable picture while playfully chasing his sister, a massive grin on his face. "And certainly that he's happier than I've ever seen him."
A rush of warmth spread through me at the insinuation. It twisted my heart to know that I'd done that without even really trying. I had no clue what to say.
When she looked back at me, her lips thinned into a passive line. "It's probably not my place to say this... but I think you're a wonderful girl, Maddie, though I also get the impression that you're an incredibly private person too, which makes it really hard for the people who care about you."
I stiffened, revealing a flare of panic that I hoped she hadn't caught. As imperceptible as my mask was, she saw right through it.
"Travis has been through a lot," she went on, her gaze skittering away pensively. "Someone close to him betrayed his trust and that made him selective about who he lets in." Then she locked eyes with me. "It's quite clear he's let you in, Maddie. And I'm afraid it'll hurt him in the end if you won't let him do the same." Sparing a quick glimpse at Travis, she fretfully admitted, "But this time with you... it might even be worse."
My breath left me in a pained rush. When Anne glanced away, momentarily giving me privacy, I let the reality of what she'd said sink in.
She was right. Travis had already suffered enough as it was... my issues were the last thing he should have to deal with. But I couldn't picture a moment without Travis in my life. I couldn't even remember what it was without him before—that was how much he'd burrowed his way in. Even while I hadn't let him in too close.
Knowing that I'd hurt Travis as he tried to live with just the bits and pieces of me I'd decided to share with him if we started something...the mere thought ripped me apart.
I felt an incessant tugging at the sleeve of my sweater, interrupting my train of thought. I blinked down at Skylar's smiling face, Travis standing a few feet behind her. He looked at me quizzically, his eyes scrutinising my face.
"Would you like to join me and Travis in a game, Miss Maddie?"
I swallowed hard to steady my voice, throwing her a watery smile in an effort to keep positive for her sake. "Sure. I'd love to. Just excuse me for a minute while I freshen up."
Travis directed the way to the bathroom and I practically fled, almost breaking into a run to get there. The walls felt like they were closing in on me, so I went over to the sink and splashed my face with cold water.
The urge to leave was overwhelming and I didn't fight it. I texted Cam an SOS and opened the door to exit the bathroom a couple minutes later, a heavy weight descending onto my shoulders after an emotionally raw morning.
Travis waited outside.
"Hey," he murmured quietly, drawing me into a hug. His arm came around my neck, his lips brushing over my forehead. "Is everything okay?"
The perfunctory gesture incited an awareness of lust through me, the same way his touch always did from the very first. It was hard not to lean into his warmth; to savour that physical affection I hadn't known I was missing until I'd found it in him.
His lips lingered for a second before I pulled back. "Yeah," I whispered in a shaky breath, "it's just that something's come up so I unfortunately have to leave."
"Okay. We'll go now. Just give me a second to say goodbye first." He didn't even question it and my heart shattered further at his sincerity.
"No." I stopped him, grasping onto his elbow. "You stay. Spend some time with your family. I've a ride. It's fine." I smiled.
"Maddie..."
I rolled my eyes playfully though there was no sense of humour behind it. "I'm okay. Seriously. Go, Travis."
His face was crestfallen. "I'll see you later?"
I gave him a jerky nod and then rose onto my toes to press a kiss to his cheek.
At the last second, he turned his head and caught my lips in a kiss. My hands clutched onto his waist, worried that I'd fall because he'd honestly made my knees weak. His lips were impeccably soft and damp against mine, teasing and nipping as he went. Possessiveness rose in the mixture as his tongue licked with a ravenous passion that aroused me effortlessly.
He kissed me like he was starved for me. As if he owned me. And in that moment, he absolutely did.
Too fast, I thought. I was falling too fast.
When we pulled apart, I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. And like the coward that I was—without a word—I turned and left.
-
I am sorry for the late update again! My classes for university (or college if you're American) started last week and I've been swamped :'(.
Anyway if you liked this chapter, please don't forge to VOTE! And drop a comment, I love hearing what you thought :)
Thank you for reading!
x